


The Face of the One

by Vadianna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: BDSM, First Love, Long love story, M/M, Murder, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, definitely that, kind of an action thing in parts?, not a very dramatic drama, not a very romantic love story, not quite as dark as all that sounds, they're both irredeemably evil, virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:10:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 112,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vadianna/pseuds/Vadianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo comes back to the First Order fleet sometime after completing his Sith training to retrieve Hux and take him on an undercover mission to recover two Resistance droids.  A purely physical relationship develops into something deeper, more mind-blowing, and with more far-reaching consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General note: Though I finished it in July 2017, this fic is old. I wrote the draft in February 2016, and it contradicts a lot of what we've learned since then, as well as current fandom tropes. There's weird stuff, Sith Kylo being among them. Just an FYI, if you're jumping in after the conclusion.
> 
> ***
> 
> The absolutely amazing [@ottenebrare](http://ottenebrare.tumblr.com) found the SFW scene and [illustrated it](https://ottenebrare.tumblr.com/post/149555789358/probably-the-first-and-last-sfw-scene-from-the). Thank you so very much! <3

Commander General Hux stood at attention in the hangar of the Star Destroyer _Pandora_.  Hux's failure at Starkiller Base two years ago had not been a great career move for him.  He preferred to be onboard one of the fleet Destroyers than stationed at a ground facility, as something about being on a ship gave Hux the feeling of always getting something done.  But command of the _Finalizer_ had been given to another when Hux was promoted to Starkiller Base, and that General still commanded there.  So that left Hux a Commander General.  Technically he ranked only below Snoke in the First Order hierarchy, but officially he didn't have a post.  
  
Supreme Leader Snoke had told him to wait, that he could have his Starkiller Base back when they'd gathered enough funds and resources.  Snoke seemed not to hold the destruction against him, but this demotion, this humiliating waiting around, grated on Hux.    
  
So he'd drifted between the four Star Destroyers possessed by the First Order, and had lately been supervising the construction of the fifth, set to launch in six months with a full crew and compliment of soldiers.  Clone soldiers, of course.  Despite the fact that Hux's recruits out-performed clones in every way, Snoke had shot down his suggestion to recruit more for the fifth Destroyer.  He knew it was because Snoke suspected the single traitor that had defected from Hux's troops was the cause of their setbacks.  
  
Which more or less set the tone for how Hux's advising sessions went among the fleet Generals.  Without obvious support from Snoke, his advice was frequently disregarded, unless he ordered otherwise.  He didn't often give orders, unless he thought something was a terrible idea.  There was no point to promoting someone to General if you didn't trust their decision-making skills.  
  
He was able to plan objectives and missions, which he assigned to individual Destroyers.  These recovered money and supplies for the First Order, which they badly needed.  They were well-organized, but were not supported by very many planetary governments.  Most of their anti-government harassment was against the recovering Republic government, which Hux made sure to keep crippled.  After all, what was the point of annihilating the seat of the Republic if it just rebuilt itself while the First Order gathered resources?  The First Order didn't have quite enough power to seize control, but Hux felt it wouldn't be long.  
  
But the waiting grated, as did the obvious disdain of the other Generals.  Hux felt useless and idle, which he loathed.  He wondered if Snoke knew that, if this was the punishment for his failure at Starkiller Base.  
  
He also wondered if the current festivities were another kind of punishment.  As Hux stood at attention, he followed with his eyes the progress of a small ship landing and powering down inside the hangar.  The hatch opened to divest the former Kylo Ren.  Hux could feel the ghost of a touch across his mind, knowing it was the Sith's Force power seeking his thoughts. 

Kylo was likely just checking the mood of the landing party.  His technique was better, more smooth than it had been two years ago.  Kylo hadn't tried to see into Hux's mind often in the past, usually only after the two had left a conference with Snoke.  But when he had, it had felt like getting inexpertly groped by a teenager.  Now, Hux could feel a slight touch, and a pressure build, but nothing like the embarrassing tearing he used to feel.

Kylo had made Sith Lord under Snoke's training, and while he likely still operated as a Knight of Ren, he wasn't officially part of that group anymore.  Sith Lords operated independently.  Apparently.  There was really just the two that Hux knew of, and he assumed that they were powerful enough to do as they pleased.  Kylo had mostly done what he wanted even before he completed his training.  As Hux understood it, Kylo was here on his own volition today, though Hux was not privy to why.    
  
Hux had received a comm to greet Kylo when he arrived, though he didn't know where this order had come from.  The General of the Star Destroyer?  Snoke?  Kylo himself?  If it was the latter two, was it because of his previous associations with Kylo, or because this really was an exercise in humiliation?  And if it was Kylo?  What the hell did that even mean?  
  
The tall Sith Lord approached Hux, and Hux stepped forward and saluted crisply, his hand making contact with his slicked-back hair.  He went automatically into business mode, setting aside his feelings for Kylo personally.  
  
"My Lord, I am at a disadvantage.  I was not told your new Sith title."  
  
Hux couldn't do the rest of the greeting without knowing what to call Kylo.  He was not given this information, and for some reason, all record of Kylo had been purged from the First Order system when he had made Sith Lord.  
  
Kylo hovered mutely, staring at Hux.  Hux studied him patiently, deciding to silently wait through... whatever this was. He kept a passive, straight face, but was internally roiling through the silence.  Still an immature child, apparently.  Hux could stand here all day.  He refused to be made uncomfortable in the presence of a man who couldn't control himself when his plans failed.  
  
Kylo looked much the same as he had two years ago.  He no longer wore the Knights of Ren helmet, and was clothed entirely in a hooded black robe that masked his clothing and his body completely.  Hux hadn't seen him without the helmet more than a couple times, and it was somewhat novel to see the wavy dark hair that fell to his collar, the angular face with the angry scar cutting across one side, dark eyes that seemed to regard him blankly, a facial expression that always seemed bored and just a little stupid.    
  
He stared at the scar on Kylo's face, gained the day that Hux had pulled him off Starkiller Base.  Kylo hadn't bothered to have it healed or altered.  Hux supposed he looked more like a Sith that way.  
  
Eventually, Kylo did speak.  "Darth Caedus."  
  
Hux was silent for a few beats, then continued on to his prepared speech, deciding on the spot to truncate it significantly.  "Welcome to the _Pandora_ , Lord Caedus.  If there's anything you want or need from the staff, please let me know.  Follow me to your quarters."  At that, he turned on his heel and began walking briskly through the sliding metal door and down the brightly lit, sterile corridor.  The harsh overhead lights caught dully on his boots, and he felt confident in his precise military stride, his black uniform complimenting his tall, slim figure.  He was wearing his dark overcoat, which blew out behind him in his haste to be done with this errand, but he regretted the coat.  It looked too much like the robe that Kylo was wearing.  
  
Maintaining outward calm, he lost himself to fury as he walked down the hallways, past countless doors, numerous staff members making way and saluting the pair as they walked past.  Hux didn't see any of it. 

"Darth Caedus?"  Really?  After two years, that's all the infuriating, immature shit has to say to him?  After failing so badly at catching the members of the Resistance he was meant to track that they came and blew up Hux's base on the day it became operational?  Not a day went by that he didn't curse the name Kylo Ren, as he was shuffled around from staff to staff, ship to ship, no longer belonging, no longer in control...  
  
He could feel his face contorting in rage, saw the fear reflected on the faces of the group of technicians he was striding past in the hallway.  Or at least he entertained the fantasy for a moment, pretending he didn't have a tall, evil wizard following him.  He straightened his face, happy that "Lord Caedus" hadn't seen it.  
  
Presently, Hux stopped in front of a door in the officer's wing of residences.  He turned back to Kylo, abruptly deciding that he would always be Kylo, because it was a silly name, and Darth Caedus didn't really suit him.  
  
"Your new quarters."  Hux met Kylo's eyes, impassive, curling his fingernails into his palms as he set aside his anger, slid back into professionalism.  "You have full security access on board, of course, and your welcome to any of the strategy meetings related to the convoy attack.  There will be one early tomorrow, I'll send you details."  Hux pauses, meeting Kylo's gaze, waiting.  Hux feels the Force pressure against his mind.  It's still not the tearing sensation from the past, but Hux is fairly certain Kylo is trying to see into his thoughts.   Hux steadied himself, hoping Kylo couldn't, and grew increasingly annoyed at the attempted intrusion.    
  
When Kylo simply stood, staring, with that same blank look on his face, Hux decided to continue. "The staff will bring any of your things to your room from your ship.  Everything else you need should be in your quarters."  Hux pauses again, waiting for a response.  Anything.  Kylo just continues to stare, the Force pressure staying the same around Hux.  Hux felt his frustration mounting, but refused to break contact with Kylo's cold, dark eyes.  
  
Rather than continued silence, Hux decided it would be better for all involved if this encounter ended.  "Lord Caedus, it was my understanding that you had requested me personally for a greeting detail.  Was there anything you wanted from me?"  
  
Kylo's face changed, and he looked Hux up and down in what Hux took to be some sort of assessment.  "Commander General, what is the status of the First Order?"  
  
Hux blinked.  That was not what he had been expecting.  He gathered his thoughts before continuing.  "Strong.  Construction of our fifth Star Destroyer is ahead of schedule, and the crew and troops are ready now.  In the past three months, we've negotiated support from the Ben'ilith and Gish systems.  We've begun work on a new base on the planet Yovet, which will include facilities for training Officers."  
  
Kylo nodded, his face growing more businesslike.  "What is the status of the galactic government system?"  
  
Where had Kylo been, to be ignorant of this?  Probably best not to know.  "Still in flux.  We do not possess enough political influence, nor enough military power, to seize control of the majority of the systems.  The Resistance still fights us.  We've been at a stalemate, but every system we negotiate terms with is a step closer to power."  
  
"Is the First Order seizing the power as an organization, or as an individual backed by the First Order?"  
  
Hux blinked, decided it was wiser to avoid the question.  "I was not given that information, Lord Caedus."  Was Snoke intending to be the new Emperor?  Was it Kylo?  If there was a power struggle there, Hux wanted no part of it.  
  
Kylo smiled, small, cold.  It did not reach his eyes.  "Very diplomatic of you, Commander General.  What is the convoy attack you mentioned earlier?"  
  
"A complicated plan, meant to give us a monopoly over shipping in the galaxy.  It will funnel money and supplies more directly into the First Order, if it is successful.  I'll send you the outline of what I'm discussing with the Fleet Generals tomorrow."  
  
Kylo nodded, his face going more impassive.  "I look forward to it."  
  
Hux paused, still maintaing eye contact, going through his mental file of active projects.  There's a lot, and Hux doesn't want to stand here all day.  "Anything in particular you're interested in, Lord Caedus?"  
  
At this, Kylo smirked.  Eyes boring into Hux, leaning forward slightly into Hux's personal space, the force pressure stronger still, Kylo finally spoke.  "What is your name?"  
  
Hux's eye twitched, ever so slightly, but he kept his face otherwise still, stood his ground against Kylo's obvious intrusion.  "My apologies, I thought you would remember me from our previous associations, so I failed to introduce myself.  Commander General Hux.  It obviously wasn't you who requested me for greeting.  I'll leave you, then."  
  
As Hux began to turn around, Kylo spoke again.  "I did request you, and I remembered what you're called.  I meant your first name."  
  
Hux lost his composure as he turned back to face Kylo, his face contorting in annoyance at the impudent remark.  His mental guard also dropped, and he could feel Kylo groping in his head again, just like old times, presumably with more success now that he was a full Sith.  He quickly threw the mental barriers back up, worked furiously to get himself back under control.  The Force pressure stopped groping at his head, but still pressed powerfully around him.  
  
"Your mask slipped, Commander General."  
  
Hux dropped his control, let his face show what he was feeling, which was absolute rage.  "How childish.  I see you haven't changed since becoming a Sith."  
  
Kylo tipped his head slightly forward, the smirk retreating back into his usual bored look.  Hux could feel invisible fingers work their way along his jaw, his neck, the slightest hint of pressure registering against his throat.  
  
Hux's adrenaline spiked.  That was always dangerous.  Hux hated to be involved in physical fights, actual combat.  He strengthened his mental barriers and tried to calm himself.  With great control, he tipped his chin up and glared at Kylo, witheringly, hatefully.  "Let me know when you're finished."  
  
The invisible hands around his throat disappeared.  Kylo's head straightened, and he smiled his small not-smile again.  "You aren't afraid of me."  It was a statement, not a question.  "There's something... but it's not fear for what I could do to you."  
  
Hux blew air through his nostrils, not quite in amusement.  "You've forgotten the number of times I've seen you lose control.  Either you'll kill me or you won't.  There's nothing to be afraid of.  Do I think you'll kill me in this hallway, here and now, because I won't let you grope around in my thoughts?  No, I do not."  He turned to leave, stalking down the hallway, not trying at all to mask his anger.    
  
He felt the barest hint of pressure along his windpipe again, there and gone before he could register it.  He tried to reinforce his mental barriers, the Force pressure against his mind following him down the hallway, not dissipating.    
  
"Send me the details for that meeting."  Kylo called at his back.  
  
Hux didn't turn back around or slow down.  Fucking great.  He was going to have to babysit a full-grown man again.  One of the most powerful individuals in the galaxy.


	2. Chapter 2

Though he still felt he lacked authority, Hux felt most himself while leading the strategy meetings with the Generals of the Fleet before a large-scale attack. He was often called to consult on small maneuvers, battles that were waged wherever the ships happened to be stationed. But the plan they were discussing today was his own, and he felt inordinately proud of its elegance.

Edryan Farr owned one of the largest shipping companies in the galaxy, stationed in multiple facilities all over Corellia. She was careful never to declare open alliances, lest that be bad for business, and she was famously penurious. But she had worked with the First Order extensively in the past, and her willingness to smuggle building material had been essential to the construction of their initial battle fleets. They had reciprocated by staging mock attacks when she needed to squeeze ships through tightly guarded routes.

But Farr had recently been doing a lot of business with the Resistance. Intelligence stated that she was sending an initial shipment of supplies, building materials, and troops in a large convoy to a new Resistance base on Zentania. Hux had seized on this and boarded the closest First Order Destroyer to the route, talking the officers into an attack. The odds were not in their favor, as the convoy and their escort outnumbered the combat ships they had on board. But Hux also had intelligence about how to jam their communication, which would lead to a disorganized defense from the Farr convoy. Hux was confident they could take it out under these conditions, and recover the supplies and building materials for themselves.

But Hux’s plan called for wiping out Farr completely. The convoy was large enough to represent a significant portion of her fleet, but losing it would by no means cripple her, and Farr would know who attacked her convoy. Fearing retaliation, Hux had ordered all four of the Destroyers in the First Order fleet, and all the fighters they contained, to close in on Corellia and target Edryan Farr's ground operation. If they could take out Farr, there would be no retaliatory strike, and they had enough of their own shipping lines in place that they would be the next logical choice for Farr's clients, which would gain them allies, funnel more money into the First Order, and give them valuable insight into who was doing business where, and with whom.

Hux could order this, as he was technically the highest-ranked officer in the First Order. Snoke had largely withdrawn from command, checking in only infrequently to redirect Hux's energies or to send a force somewhere to gain resources. It had been months since his last communication. Hux thought he really should run this plan by him, since it involved their entire fleet, but he had no way of contacting the Supreme Leader, communications always ran the other way. If Snoke called before commencement, Hux would ask permission. If not, he felt it was within his power as the Commander General to take out a potential threat and expand their resources and influence. It felt right to him.

Right now, he had all four of the Fleet Generals on a holocall in the smallest conference room on the Pandora. Hux stood at a podium, facing a horseshoe of 5 chairs that contained four identically-dressed and mostly agitated Generals, three of whom were projections. General Teniot was physically present, and was sitting on Hux's left, scrolling furiously through the data Hux prepared and sent to the PDs. Darth Caedus was to the right, in his dark, shapeless robes, sitting silently, staring forward, his hands hidden by his sleeves and his facial expression blank and sour, as always. Hux wasn't sure if he was paying attention, but as long as he didn't somehow veto the entire plan for no reason, Hux didn't care what he thought.

They were currently organizing the ground strike on Corellia. Hux was getting some push-back.

"No one has ever launched a successful attack on Corellia! This is madness!" General Adesh was his biggest opponent, a woman who Hux liked as the best war-monger in the First Order. That she was balking did concern Hux. "The plan you've given us, this data... this reads more like wishful thinking than a concrete strategy! It's ridiculous."

He was always happy to have resistance from his generals. He wanted input and feedback, even for a decision he felt overwhelmingly positive about. These were people who were promoted because they were good at their jobs and extremely dedicated to the First Order. They weren't here because better individuals had been too frightened to work alongside Hux or other Commanding Officers.

Fear was a dangerous element to have in employees when it came to a crisis. Someone who was afraid of the First Order would use a crisis to encourage failure or to escape. Someone who liked their job would control a crisis. The other problem with ruling individuals with fear was that they would never share their true thoughts with you, which was dangerous. If you were Supreme Commander Snoke, it might mean you were unaware that your apprentice was alarmingly unbalanced, because nobody told you how he acted away from home. But that was none of Hux's business. He thought Kylo Ren's previous antics had been amusing in their way, and enjoyed the situation because it confirmed his thoughts about ruling with fear, not because he was afraid to tattle on Kylo.

With a mental jerk and some chastisement, he drug his mind back to the conversation. It was unlike him to let it wander under such circumstances.

"I agree with Adesh that it seems unwise, Commander General. Your plan does seem workable, but... there are too many people of every allegiance on that planet. Attacking it would be suicidal for the First Order. We would have every faction in the galaxy after us, and we are unable to defend against that. Corellia also has the largest and fastest fleet, and would likely vaporize us before we could cut and run."

"General Felasi." This was an older man, with white hair, creased dark skin, a worried expression, a uniform that strained around his considerable girth, and an annoying tendency to wring his hands in an obvious way when he was disagreeing with you. He was a contemporary of Hux's father, and did offer good advice about personnel structure within the First Order, his experience with the Empire a valuable asset. He was known for his caution, so resistance from him was expected. Hux knew what his objections would be, had thought of an answer in advance. "We are not attacking Corellia. We are attacking a shipping company based there-"

"The largest one there is! Do you know how many allies Edryan Farr has? The ones not based in Corellia will be howling for our blood if we destroyed either her or her business. I've heard that one of her sons is a high-ranking officer in the New Republic!"

"The New Republic is dead, General, and I wouldn't believe every rumor that reaches your ears," Hux commented dryly. "But Edryan Farr's allies are one of the benefits of this plan. They don't love her, they only love her reliability and reach. Besides, our cloaking technology is unsurpassed. We can sneak up on the planet, fire our strikes, and get out before they can launch a counter-attack. Attacking Corellia will also be a show of strength for the First Order. We won't claim responsibility for it, obviously, because we don't want Corellian nationals after us for the attack on their soil. But if we successfully attack an destroy one of the largest Corellian businesses, something that nobody has done since the shipbuilding industry settled there, who will stand against us?"

Adesh narrowed her eyes. "This plan has merit. I do like it, it just seems inordinately reckless. Especially for you."

Hux tipped his head forward in acknowledgment. There wasn't anything he could say, and Adesh wasn't really wanting a response. She was still thinking. Everyone was.

The Generals lapsed into silence, considering their arguments, considering Hux's rebuttals. All in the room bent back over their PDs, studying the details in silence. Hux liked the direction this was going. It felt good. He had expected a little resistance, mostly due to the audacity. Adesh was right, it wasn't very like him, but Hux had a lot of good intelligence for this, so he could afford to be bold.

Felasi shifts uncomfortably on his chair in his projection. "Do we even have the right type of camouflage or clearance to get the Destroyers close to Corellia?"

Hux nodded. "I agree that it's reckless. But we have a lot of intelligence on Edryan Farr, and yes," here Hux turned to Felasi. "I also have the ship profiles on the four largest ships in her fleet. They can get us close enough to Corellia to attack."

Hux looked around the room. Adesh was beginning to nod in agreement. General Penod, the young man given command of the Finalizer when Hux was promoted to Starkiller Base, was silent, as he always was. Hux suspected Penod felt guilty for keeping command of Hux's ship, and never argued with Hux. Hux also suspected Penod let his youth handicap him, as if Hux wouldn't let him register an opinion since he was the youngest one in the group. A bit silly, but a habit Hux was hoping would eventually disappear.

The physically present General Teniot was staring at him, his face giving nothing away. Teniot was also an older, seasoned veteran with some experience from the Empire, and someone who Hux respected. Hux always had trouble reading Teniot, but Teniot was usually the first one to disregard any advice Hux offered. If Teniot was silent, Hux suspected it was because he couldn't find fault with the plan.

Felasi was the only one who was still resisting. But he was running out of reasons, and had lost confidence when the other Generals began to agree with Hux. "I think an attack of this size... we need to approve this with Supreme Commander Snoke before proceeding! We've never done something this large without his approval!"

Hux narrowed his eyes, disliking Felasi's desperation. "What would Snoke's objection be? We blew up several planets when we had the capability, if you recall."

"But we no longer do! Our strength is diminished."

Hux, growing impatient, turned to the other Generals. "When was the last time any of you heard from Snoke?" He spoke more sharply than he intended, and he mentally reigned himself back in. It would be bad to lose control now. He dug his fingers into his palms and waited for a response.

Felasi dropped his eyes. Teniot spoke up quickly and somewhat resentfully. "At least six months ago."

"Eight months ago, maybe." Adesh contributed, after some consideration. Penod remained silent. Hux wasn't sure if Snoke had ever contacted the young man after his appointment.

"A shame we can't just blow up Corellia, isn't it, Commander General?" Kylo had slumped lazily in his chair, presumably listening but not contributing. Hux had done a good job forgetting about him, despite the persistent Force pressure against his mind, heavier now that he was in a room with Kylo.

All five members of the conference turned to look at Kylo. Hux was infuriated by the needling interruption.

"I had forgotten you were half-Corellian. My apologies, Lord Caedus. Can your delicate sensibilities stomach talk of an attack on your fatherland, or will you need to leave the room?"

It came out sharper and more sarcastic than Hux had intended, again, which meant he was still not back under control. But the reminder of his diminished position was not welcome in this context.

Kylo's immediate rejoinder was to flood Hux's lungs with Force power, suffocating him from within his own body. Hux kept his expression neutral, hiding the struggle from the Generals, fighting to inhale, to get air into his lungs, and to keep this little incident private while Kylo allowed it. His hands gripped the edges of the podium, his knuckles white with the struggle to expel the strange force inside his body. Kylo helpfully filled the silence.

"General Felasi, would you feel more comfortable attacking Corellia if I okayed this plan?" Kylo stood and began approaching the projection of Felasi. He black robe shifted liquidly around him in a breeze that did not exist in the room, his hands were clasped in front of him and hidden by the voluminous sleeves.

Felasi shrunk back, even from the projection of Kylo. Hux would have found it funny if he wasn't about to pass out on the floor. "Yes, Lord Caedus. If you wish it, it will be so."

Kylo turned to Hux, who could feel the blood gathering in his head. He released his hold on Hux's lungs, and covered Hux's gasp by speaking and moving directly in front of the podium, blocking the other's view of him. "You have my blessing to proceed, Commander General. Please go over the details with the fleet."

Hux stared at Kylo while he covered the fact he was gasping for breath in front of the other officers. He could feel the Force pressure trying to dig through his head again, but he threw up the mental walls and even dampened his anger and annoyance with Kylo's usual antics. He had gotten the blessing from a Sith Lord, which was better than Hux giving it himself to the others. Although the implication that he needed such a thing grated more than a little.

Kylo raised his eyebrows, but did not smile as he turned and walked from the room. Hux stared after him, unable to hide his disconcertion for a moment. But before Kylo had left the room, Hux switched mental gears, turned back to his generals, and began detailing the plan specifics.


	3. Chapter 3

Hux spent the next two days deep in planning and directing personnel. The attack on the convoy was rather complex, as there'd be a lot of fighters in play on both sides, as well as over a dozen well-armored and well-armed transport ships. The Corellia part of the plan was taking place two weeks after the convoy capture. They couldn't do both attacks simultaneously, since Hux did fear reprisal from Corellia and wanted the full strength of the First Order there. The Corellian attack was a relatively simple matter, since all it required was coming in cloaked and disguised, firing on specific targets, and getting out as fast as possible. Planning the convoy attack was more fun.

He had spent three full shifts on duty, first running fighter combat drills and simulations in person aboard the _Pandora_ , then running full sets of drills via audio/video comlinks for both _Endurance_ and _Finalizer_ , with the crew of officers from both vessels, complete with briefing and debriefing on either end of the drills. He hadn't eaten or slept in over a full cycle, but nonetheless felt invigorated. Sleep was necessary, however, lest mental fatigue cloud his judgment and cause a tactical error.

He began undoing the buttons of his uniform jacket as he opened the door to his quarters and turned on the lights. He looked up and paused with his hand on his third button when he spotted Kylo leaning against the opposite wall in the main room, in his ridiculous Sith robes, his arms across his chest, a blank look on his face like Hux had been due any moment. Except Hux hadn’t been due, had actually been quite late retiring tonight, and Kylo had been standing here who knew how long, in the dark. Hux stared at him for a moment, and when no shock registered, he realized that nothing Kylo did could surprise him anymore.

"There goes my sense of wonder." He muttered, dropping his hand and standing up straight. "What are you doing? How did you get in here?"

One side of Kylo’s mouth quirked up. "You never had a sense of wonder to lose."

"No, but I do have a certain respect for humanity that drops every time you open your mouth. Answer my questions." Hux slammed the door close button angrily behind himself and stepped into the room, undoing his uniform buttons, absurdly unwilling to let Kylo upset his routine in his own quarters.

"You gave me full security access to the _Pandora_." Kylo said simply. "That includes your bedroom."

"And you're here to prove a point? That I'm stupid for thinking you wouldn't just wander in here in the middle of my off shift?"

Kylo ignored him, turning his head to take in the room. “Nice place. You decorate well.”

Hux wilted under the judgment, but dismissed it quickly, since he realized it didn’t matter if Kylo or anyone else saw his room. He had a bed and desk that were folded into the wall on the far side of a large main space, a kitchen that had a small steel refrigerator, sink, and stovetop separated from the rest of the room by a red stone countertop with a single red-topped stool, and two doors that led into a closet and a bathroom. There was a chair for the desk folded into the corner, since Hux didn’t use it that often, and those were the only features of the room. He hadn’t bothered to add any personal touches. The walls were white, the floor black polished steel tiles.

He could claim that it was because he moved around the fleet a lot, but the truth was that he wouldn’t have anyway. He had private quarters on all four ships, and all of them looked like this, and contained exactly the same items. It was easier that way.

Hux debated responding, but didn’t feel like he needed to explain himself to Kylo. He stared at Kylo with his usual impersonal mask in place, deciding to wait until Kylo revealed his purpose.

After taking in the minimal furnishings in the room, Kylo lazily pushed off the white wall and walked over to the counter that separated the kitchen area. Only the officer's quarters had kitchens, they were a privilege, and Hux was annoyed to find that Kylo had raided his. Kylo grabbed a mug from the red countertop, raised it to his mouth and studied Hux over the rim.

"I doubt you possessed a respect for humanity, either."

"Either get to the fucking point or get out."

"I need you for a mission."

Hux was taken aback by this unexpected practicality, and found himself interested in Kylo's presence on the ship for the first time. "What kind of mission?"

"The Resistance possesses two droids that have been favorites of faction leaders for decades. They’re over seventy years old, and have witnessed the strategies and secrets of the Resistance, the Rebel Alliance, and even the end of the Jedi Council and the Republic. I want these droids."

Hux furrowed his brow, somewhat disbelieving a treasure like this existed, but quickly decided Kylo wouldn’t lie. Still interested, and a little shocked that Kylo was bringing him a mission of worth, he asked "Where do we need to retrieve them from?"

"They are likely with Resistance High Command, but we don’t currently know the location of their main base."

Hux walked over to the kitchen, noticing that Kylo had raided his supply of tea. It was the one luxury he allowed himself, and the thought of Kylo going through his things while he wasn’t there annoyed him. Distracted, Hux filled his used kettle from the tap and unintentionally said aloud what he was thinking. "Aren't you a Sith Lord now? Can't you locate your fellow Force-sensitive family members? Shouldn't that be easy for you?"

Hux winced when the faux pas was out, and braced himself for the pain of Kylo's anger. It didn't come. Kylo was silent until Hux looked over at him. He was staring at Hux with interest, calmly sipping his tea and leaning casually against the counter, hunched over and bracing himself on one arm, his black robes and hair contrasting sharply with the white walls and his pale skin.

Kylo swallowed and answered. "No. If I tried, it's possible they would pick up my location as well, and it would be unwise to bring the wrath of the New Republic down on one of our only ships."

A good reason. Hux sighed, deciding not to concede the point aloud. He turned away from Kylo to stare at the kettle on the small stovetop as it was heating water. "So what other information do you have that will help recover them?"

Hux felt the Force pressure along his jaw and under his chin again. It turned his head so that he was looking into Kylo's face across the small kitchen and counter.

"I don't have any other information about them, other than their names and what they look like. I need you to come with me to retrieve them."

Hux stared blankly, not understanding where this was going, unsure of how to feel about this bizarre exchange in his room, over his tea. "How are we retrieving them if you don't know where they are?"

Kylo set his mug down and crossed his arms, standing up straighter on the other side of the red counter. "We're going to infiltrate the Resistance. Follow the example of the traitor FN-2187 and stage a battle with the Resistance where we are fighting as Stormtroopers, and defect. They take us on as part of their army, we find the droids, smuggle them out, and escape. They’ll more than likely be with the heads of the Resistance."

Hux tried to recoil from the Force pressure still gripping his jaw, but Kylo held him tightly. He decided to ignore it. "Anyone can do this. I don't need to do this. You don't even need to do this! Why are we having this conversation?"

"No, it has to be me and you. You have strong defenses against Force intrusion into your thoughts. Not even I can get in when you don't want me to, so you'll be able to keep Leia, Rey and even Luke out of your head, if it comes to that. It will likely take some time to ingratiate ourselves with the Resistance enough for them to take us to their headquarters, or even let us into their ranks. You're good at thinking on your feet, and can probably tell them what they need to hear about our background, our alliances, and our day-to-day life. I need to go because I know the droids, I know how to deactivate them, and if there aren't any Force-sensitive people, it will be easier to reach our objective if I use mind manipulation."

Hux blinked. In theory, this plan was good. Very good. They could send someone else, but Kylo was right, this may require some fast thought and changes of plans depending on how the inside of the Resistance worked. And it would have to be someone who's thoughts would be closed to a Jedi, in the likely event they would probe a defector from the First Order. He was sure he could come up with ironclad backgrounds for the spies, thought those would work with anyone. And Kylo's mind manipulation would be a huge asset on this kind of assignment.

But Hux wasn't stupid.

"I'm wanted by the Resistance, and by the New Republic. It won't take someone long to recognize me and realize that I'm the highest ranked officer of the First Order, and have ordered the deaths of countless people, including blowing up several planets and draining a star or two. And they’d certainly recognize Ben So-"

He didn't get farther. The pressure around his throat tightened, cutting off his words and lifting him off the floor to dangle just in the air.

"Don't."

The command was simple, and Hux got the point immediately, though the choking continued. Kylo did it with a strangely passive face, undisturbed, as if the rage was still there, just not showing itself. Dangerous.

Hux put his hands to the invisible force around his throat. Normally this would set him off in a bad way, but Kylo was choking him too hard to register as a danger, and even while the life ebbed from his body, part of him knew Kylo wouldn't kill him in his own kitchen for saying his old name, especially if he wanted him for this mission.

Kylo released his throat, and Hux collapsed to the cold tile floor, gasping, one hand to his throat.

"I could do it myself."

Still on the floor, sitting on all fours, Hux realized that being strangled nearly to death had been enough for him to drop his mental barriers against Kylo’s Force intrusion, and Kylo was inside his mind. He could feel him in there, rooting around. After thinking a moment, he realized he didn't give a shit and stopped bothering to keep him out. Hux wasn’t inclined to embarrassment, and he could kick Kylo out whenever he wanted. Plus, after the strangling, having Kylo read his thoughts would be easier than speaking out loud.

Kylo snorted, sounding somewhat amused, though Hux couldn’t see him from the floor. “You seem rather indifferent to physical punishment and mind invasion.”

_I am. Also, you couldn’t do this mission yourself. I don't believe you are capable of having a normal conversation with a person_.

"I don't think you are, either."

Still down on the floor, with his face pointed down, Hux brought up half a dozen memories of himself at school, talking with First Order members, officers, and even lunch the day before.

Kylo grunted, sounding somewhat impressed, though it was hard for Hux to tell from just the noise.

“I thought you were more of a monster than that, but it looks like you know how to wear sheep’s clothing well enough.”

_Better than you do, and you’re more of a monster._

Hux sat up on his knees, glowering up at Kylo, fairly certain that the insult wasn’t one Kylo would take offense to. Rubbing his throat, and still not sure if he could talk, he calmly and stubbornly continued the strategy meeting, since he thought the plan was a good one.

_Choke me all you want, the fact remains that any high ranking member of the Resistance would recognize you. Maybe you can fight your way out, but once they recognize me, I'll be arrested and executed for war crimes. They've been aching to do that since I was a boy._

Hux remembered the judgmental stares at the academy, the teachers that had obviously thought despotism ran in the blood. They were either correct, or their judgmental actions had driven Hux further into his maniacal need to control people, but the distinction wasn’t important to him.

"Impressive, you even had the teachers after you." Kylo leaned against the counter again, far over, looking down at Hux on the other side. “I find your mind fascinating. You like my plan so much that you have no opinion about being nearly killed, other than you were sure I wouldn’t do it.”

_I was._

Kylo was silent for a moment before continuing. Hux wasn’t sure that he hadn’t set Kylo off again, and wasn’t sure if he would be able to hold himself back again (don’t think about it) if Kylo decided to torture him some more. To Hux’s relief, Kylo dropped the subject of Hux’s indifference to torture. He tried to change the subject.

_What about our very famous faces?_

"Recognizing us is part of the plan." While Hux watched, Kylo flickered a moment, then turned his appearance into a perfect likeness of Hux. Hux sat on the floor, staring up at himself peering down at himself on the floor, in Kylo's ridiculous black robe, wearing Kylo’s usual bored-looking neutral expression.

"I like this robe."

_It screams 'wizard.'_

Kylo frowned with Hux's face. Hux couldn't stop staring in fascination into his own blue eyes, his eyebrows drawn together, the spot he'd missed shaving this morning.

"Do you find yourself that good-looking?"

"Nice trick." Hux managed to wheeze out through his swollen throat, picking himself up off the floor. He felt uncharacteristically giddy, as the situation was one of the most unusual he’d ever been in. He was fairly impressed by his own control, indifference, and willingness to take this plan and Kylo’s actions at face value. He stopped for a moment and considered Kylo, the most annoying person he ever met, displaying a potentially dangerous new power.

Kylo-as-Hux smirked, and Hux leaned against the countertop across from him. Both were leaning forward slightly, a foot of space separating their faces. Kylo-as-Hux stared directly into Hux’s eyes. "Am I really the most annoying person you've ever met?"

Even the voice was the same. Hux switched back to mental conversation, not wanting Kylo to have the steadier version of his voice in this conversation, not wanting to concede power even a little.

_Easily, yes. And you keep adding to your list of charms. How does this parlor trick help us, exactly? Then they'd merely arrest and execute both of us, just to make sure they got the right murderer, but you still have Sith powers and would escape anyway._

"We'd tell them we were clones of Commander General Hux."

Hux opened his mouth, and closed it again. Getting closer. Hux was getting excited. There were still problems.

_I'm the only commander in the First Order that doesn't use clone Stormtroopers, why would I have clones of myself?_

"Your father made them. As backup."

_My father was the first opponent to clone Stormtroopers! Plus, that's stupid. A spare son? He had three._

Hux thought about it a minute, and admitted there'd be some uses to having a clone of one of his older brothers around, just to confuse things.

"See? It sounds good, right? And it makes sense if we're identical in appearance."

Hux frowned. He didn't have an argument for this. It actually made more sense because it _was_ Hux, which was ridiculous and brilliant. Somehow, Kylo had come up with, as far as he could tell, a perfect plan. Hux tried to dampen his excitement, come up with reasons not to like this, but planning was one of the only things he genuinely enjoyed, and his mind was working through the possibilities, the ways this could succeed and fail.

Kylo-as-Hux continued to smirk, and leaned in closer. Hux leaned back to his side of the counter. "That's high praise, coming from you. And it's nice that you think of me as Kylo still."

_Well, I'm not calling you Lord Caedus. Ridiculous. How would you feel if you came back and had to call me Emperor Magnus?_

Kylo laughed. Actually laughed. Hux watched his own face transform, become younger. He wondered what Kylo would look like laughing, and quickly quashed the thought. Hux took another step back, something about this whole situation still not sitting right with him. It felt too dangerous. Wrong, somehow.

"I like my Sith name. But it mostly only works if people aren’t going to talk to me. If you're going to have a conversation with me, you might as well call me Kylo."

That's still a stupid name, Hux thought to himself, as he turned back to pour himself a cup of tea.

Kylo laughed again. The hair on the back of Hux's neck stood up, and he didn't look back around. He wasn’t used to this… casualness. From anyone. He didn’t really have friends, just comrades with the same goals. He’d never been actually good at socializing, and he wasn’t sure if that’s what was going on now.

That they were planning an intriguing Resistance infiltration was the only thing steadying Hux, since Hux was mostly thinking about that, rather than how strange it was to have anyone in his quarters, let alone the Sith Lord Kylo.

"I like that you opened your mind to me, thank you for that."

The thank you sounded wrong, but Hux decided to ignore it. He didn’t like that Kylo was pushing the casual vibe, and decided to ignore that, too. Sipping the tea, Hux decided to switch back to speaking again, thought that it would be the more defiant action. "There's nothing I need to hide, necessarily."

"Don't make that a challenge."

"Don't move in."

"Fair enough." Kylo-as-Hux moved back to lean against the wall in the main room.

Hux sat on the stool, staring over at Kylo in irritation as he sipped the bitter tea, soothing his aching throat as it slid down. "Take my body off. I don't like talking to you while you look like me, and I don’t like thinking of myself in your clothes."

He did a perfect imitation of the neutral, utilitarian expression Hux used when interacting with others. It looked more arrogant on Kylo than it did on himself. Then he flickered in Hux's vision and became Kylo again.

"You look plenty arrogant. All the time. Also, I shouldn't have changed back. You'll have to get used to it."

"I didn't agree to do it."

Kylo arched an eyebrow. "Should I make it an order?"

"I can't go." Hux protested. It came out sounding whinier than he wanted, and he adjusted his voice to be more calm, schooled his expression. "I'm leading the attacks against Edryan Farr. If you want to act now, you'll need to find someone else who can go with you."

"Wrong. The Fleet Generals are leading the attack against Edryan Farr. You are General of nothing, really. You don't have anything to do."

Hux lost control of his face again, he could feel his brows coming together in frustration. "This is the first large-scale attack we've had in two years! And it's my plan! I'll need to stay to run it."

"I think it will go just fine without you. You told them how to hit the convoy, and you're correct, the Corellian part is simple."

Hux looked away. "I'm not... terribly well-suited to being a trooper."

Kylo frowned, and Hux could feel the slight increase in pressure that indicated he was digging through Hux's thoughts. He slammed them shut again against Kylo's intrusion.

Kylo's frown deepened as he glanced over at the closet in Hux's room. "You have attack posts in there that look well-used, as well as practice swords. You don't use them?"

Hux remained silent, his anger mounting once again at this personal intrusion as he drank his tea fast, too hot, burning his tongue and mouth and throat on its way down.

Kylo turned from the closet back to Hux and arched an eyebrow. Hux was getting tired of looking at his plain, curious face. "I thought you didn't have anything to hide."

Hux slammed his mug down, hard enough to crack it and spill the hot tea all over his hand. He hated himself for the slip, so like something that Kylo used to do. "I thank you for bringing me the mission, Lord Caedus. I will consider it. Is there anything else? If not, I would thank you to leave my room. Right now."

Without speaking, Kylo pushed himself away from the wall, then grabbed his mug and deliberately drained it, looking at Hux as he put it in the sink on the other side of the counter. He sauntered from the room, and used the force to open and close the door, leaving his hands folded inside his robe in front of him.

As soon as the door was closed, Hux went across to his closet and got out his sword practice materials. He began going through the sword forms he learned at the academy. He had been the best swordfighter at the school, and after his first year, nobody had bested him in a swordfight. Ever.

His room was large enough for the practice, and his lack of furniture was because he preferred to do this kind of exercise in private.

Hux was an angry person. One of the reasons he had disliked overseeing Kylo Ren so much was that, as a child, he had the same tantrums. They'd been brutally trained out of him, although not really, as the punishments tended to only make him more angry. But fighting was an appropriate outlet for rage, he learned in school, and he’d taken to practicing aggression out in fight exercises. And occasionally in real fights, where more often than not the target of his aggression would wind up dead. Fighting was a habit that he’d never given up. Almost every day, he had reason to come back to his quarters and use his sword to hit things.

Happily, anyone who knew that Hux did this (nobody did) assumed he liked to keep up on his hand-to-hand techniques. It did its job in that way, keeping up the appearance of being a straightlaced, professional officer.

But really, Hux was just angry a lot.

His forms were blurring tonight, because of the talk with Kylo. Because he had been in his room, because he had broached the subject, because he had found the swords and asked about them. Hux should have just... said he practiced swordfighting. It wasn't weird to have the swords or the posts to strike.

He was working himself up into a genuine tantrum, wailing rather unprofessionally on the posts until the practice sword finally shattered. Sometimes that happened, which is why he always had a few on hand.

The second part.

The second part was too much like his oldest brother.

It was why he didn't like doing this with other people. The part of himself he was most ashamed of, perhaps the only part of himself he was ashamed of. Fighting with other people made it worse, because the fight was more real that way. It was the adrenaline, the rush, the only time Hux ever felt anything but anger, hate, disappointment... the only part of himself he couldn't control.

It was exquisite torture, in that way. Control was what he sought in all aspects of his life, in himself, and that there was something he couldn’t control… indulging in it almost nightly tore him in half, with the joy of abandoning himself to it and the additional self-hate over the fact he had to do the second part at all. It was a vicious spiral, but one he accepted as a private matter he could deal with.

He went down on his knees in front of the practice form, put his hands on the floor. He had taken his gloves off to practice, letting the sword tear the skin in his palms (it didn’t, very much, because he did this so often he had callouses), and now he let the wood splinters from the shattered blade bite into his skin. Anything like this made the second part worse, too.

He was sweating, gasping, staring at the floor. His throat still hurt badly from when he had tried to use the name Ben Solo. He rubbed it absently, wondering if it would bruise. As his thoughts cleared and he got himself under control, he was angry at himself again for practicing in his uniform, soaking it with sweat.

But that was something he could deal with. Feeling more calm, he stripped himself out of his uniform and went for a shower.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Hux was annoyed to find a necklace of bruises around his throat and his voice hoarse and painful. That was fucking great, because he was still presenting strategy for the Edryan Farr attack. His collar wasn't tall enough to hide the bruises, and he wound up foregoing caffeine to drink a tea that soothed his throat, so he could talk more normally. This only made him angrier.

It wasn't a good start to the day.

He could feel Kylo's Force powers reach out to him as he got closer to the conference room. He left his mind open, because he genuinely didn't care what Kylo thought of him, except for the one thing, and he wasn't going to think about that right now. He could do that, dismiss thoughts easily, though he preferred to be angry instead.

When the door opened, Darth Caedus was sitting in a chair facing the door, staring at him, wearing a First Order officer's uniform identical to his own. Right down to his rank insignia, gloves, and cloak. The uniforms were simple, as far as military uniforms went, and were tailored to the wearer. Hux had never seen Kylo in anything tailored before. It looked much be-

Hux slammed his mind closed abruptly and began to get angry again, his face contorting, then smoothing as he regained control.

Kylo smiled, obviously liking the rise he had gotten out of Hux. Hux was early, he usually was to this sort of meeting, and was relieved nobody was here to see this juvenile display, or his kneejerk reaction to it.

"Your reaction was restrained, as always. I am disappointed and curious as to why you slammed your mind closed when you saw me, though."

"Your rank is incorrect." Hux’s voice was still weak, and he winced inwardly at the sound.

Kylo's face transformed into something mischievous that surprised Hux once again. It looked out of place, too juvenile for the dark, evil impression Hux had of Kylo. He looked… younger. Before Hux could think about this longer, Kylo flickered, and turned into Hux again.

"Is my rank correct now?"

Hux looked at the door, then back at Kylo, disbelief and rage warring in his features. "Are you fucking crazy?" he hissed. "Stop it. We don't need these antics right now, while we're trying to plan a battle that could determine the future of the Order. Don't bring your… personal vendetta for me into this."

"Personal vendetta? No.” He stared at Hux a moment, and Hux was unable to read his own face on Kylo, unsure what the other was thinking. The admission that he wasn’t out to get Hux was… unexpected, yet again, something Hux wasn’t relishing. Hux hated not being able to read people.

Kylo continued, in Hux’s voice, a perfect imitation of Hux’s accent. “Would you like me to give the meeting instead, and you could pretend you're me, pretending to be you?"

Hux gritted his teeth and met Kylo's eyes, which were his, and blue, and it was disconcerting. "What do you have to say about this battle strategy, General Hux?"

He knew Kylo wasn’t good at this, as they’d worked together in the past. Kylo sometimes came up with objectives, but was usually bad about the mechanics of actually doing them. Kylo and the other Knights of Ren were like a cannon Hux could aim at difficult targets, but not an advanced enough weapon to choose its own trajectory.

Kylo's face straightened, again, into Hux's impersonal professional mask, which was still too arrogant on Kylo. Kylo approached the podium, and in a perfect imitation of Hux's usual railing speech style, began ordering an invisible room of people how to move ships around a battle. His strategy was actually sound. After a minute or two, Kylo turned back to Hux, standing off to the side, and again, in imitation of Hux, asked. "Well, General, do you have any relevant comments to make, or are you going to sit there and be fed whatever I decide to give you?"

Despite himself, Hux blew hair through his nose in an almost-laugh. He was still mostly angry, though. "The completion of your Sith training has... changed you. I liked you better when you were moping around the ship, not trying to personally offend me at every opportunity."

"I'm rather invested in my plan, Commander General. I still think you'd be the best candidate for it."

Hux clenched his jaw, his anger and a rare feeling of anxiety spiking. "I'm still considering it."

Hux could feel Kylo dive into his mind again. He closed it more firmly very quickly, and stared over into his own blue eyes, his own arrogant face giving nothing of Kylo’s thoughts away.

"You're not considering it, but it's not because you don't think it's a good plan. Nor is it because you're bad at hand-to-hand combat. You were angry enough while practicing the sword last night that I could feel it from across the ship."

Just then, the door opened, and General Teniot walked in, pausing when he saw Commander General Hux facing himself down. Hux was the one facing the door when Teniot walked in, and Kylo spun to address him.

"General Teniot. I'm going to commence the calls for the others in a moment."

"Commander General. Forgive me, but... " Teniot's eyebrows went up as his gaze shifted over to Hux.

Kylo turned to give Hux a brief dismissive look, and turned back to Teniot. "Lord Caedus has decided, in his infinite wisdom, to practice his Sith techniques by impersonating me today. We will need to indulge him while he sits through this meeting."

Hux was about to make an angry outburst, but found that Kylo was holding his mouth, tongue, and vocal cords paralyzed with Force power. He glowered over at Kylo, hating that his facial expression was a perfect imitation of the sulky Sith.

Teniot stared openly at Hux, his face betraying his confusion. Teniot was terrible at hiding his emotions.

_So are you._ Kylo spoke into his mind. _Your mind is closed, but your emotions leak off you for anyone to read. It's very honest of you._

Hux slackened his face into his usual neutral expression, so that he didn't betray his surprise at the comment, or his anger that Kylo was in his head, down his throat, and basically holding him in his control.

Teniot spoke after a moment. "Why does he have those bruises around his throat?"

"He doesn't." Kylo spoke simply.

Teniot blinked. "He doesn't." His gaze shifted again to his seat in the room, and he took it.

Hux also turned and sat down, furious, as Kylo powered on the holocalls for the other Generals and they gave various status reports about preparation for the attack. Hux only half paid attention to these updates, too angry at the situation and not sure how to handle it without embarrassing himself.

_If it helps, Commander General, I'm giving you an order to sit quietly through this meeting and let me lead it._

Kylo spoke directly into Hux's head again. He hated it. He thought about slamming his mind closed again, but as the thought occurred to him, Kylo let go of the pressure against his mouth and throat, perhaps in conciliation. Hux fumed, and fired a response back inside his head, unsure if Kylo could hear sentences like this.

_What do you even know about military strategy? How are you going to give this meeting?_

_You heard me earlier. Did I make any mistakes?_

Hux didn't have a comeback for this. He went back over Kylo's earlier fake speech, furiously looking for flaws. Found none. It was part of the speech he had been planning on giving today, down to... well, himself giving it. New anger gripped him.

_Are you taking the strategies from my head?_

_No, although I could. I hadn't considered it._

_Then how? Do you have your own plan for this fight?_

_No, I saw it in a vision of the future. We win, both times. I didn't have the words for describing how it goes until I heard you setting up the battle yesterday. I can give a run-down of exactly where all the fighters and larger ships need to be in order for both battles to be victorious._

Hux's anger uncharacteristically slipped from him. He was caught between an incredulous disbelief in the fact that Kylo could see the future (does the Force even work like that?) ( _It does_ , came the response from Kylo as the thought occurred to him. Hux pushed him away with only mild annoyance) and pride in the thought that his large military maneuver, meant to capture the supplies and building materials for a First Order base and to take out a supply line for their enemies, was going to work.

He let himself meditate on the ramifications of success, something he didn't like to do before victory. It was the only superstition he allowed himself. He also felt a touch of happiness creep in, an emotion that he didn’t often experience, something that felt wrong in his mind. He savored it, deciding that it was easier to think ahead and be happy, to disappear inside himself, than watch Kylo give the meeting wearing his face.

Kylo spent hours giving increasingly specific instructions to the complaining Generals, who didn't believe Hux was giving sound advice before battle. Kylo handled them better than he would have, which made Hux jealous. He wondered if he was using the Force to give them the answers they wanted to hear, or to soothe their minds about the battle. What must it be like, to always effortlessly have the right word to say, to not have to study people, watching their reactions, mentally catalog their strengths and weaknesses, how they will react to you, how to react to them to get them to do what you want?

Hux took a lot of pride in his study of human behavior, and to have Kylo be… himself, but better, on a complete whim, was driving him into an uncharacteristic melancholy, and making him hate Kylo Ren that much more.

More envy, really. Kylo Ren had always been one of the luckiest beings in the galaxy. Of course.

Kylo dismissed the Generals, who left feeling mostly confident about the plan. As the holocalls flickered off, Hux found himself forced to stand, found his mouth moving against his will, heard Kylo's voice somehow coming from his mouth. Hux tolerated this, curious to see where it was going.

"Leave us, General Teniot. I'd like to speak to the Commander General alone about this."

Teniot looked only mildly shocked to be addressed by what he assumed was the Sith. He bowed. "As you wish, Lord Caedus." He turned and left the room in a hurry.

When Kylo released Hux from the Force hold, he waved his hand to shut the door of the conference room behind Teniot. It was the first time Hux had seen him use a hand gesture for his Force powers since he’d re-boarded the ship. Hux wondered if it was significant. He wondered even more if he wanted to be alone with Kylo again, after he’d been stewing in jealousy for at least forty-five minutes.

Kylo turned sharply back to Hux, still Kylo-as-Hux. He had dropped Hux's impersonal mask, a look of displeasure apparent on his face.

"Anyway, I told you, I’ve seen this attack and I know it's successful. You don't need to be here for it. You can do the mission with me. But you don't want to. It's not because you hate me, or think I'm annoying, or think the mission is bad. The mission seems to... rather excite you, in fact. So why not do it?"

Hux marveled again at the uncharacteristic relentless pursuit of this mission, his stomach twisting again at the surprise, some part of him recognizing that a person putting him off his guard this much was dangerous. His mind shifted abruptly to panic, over the hand-to-hand soldier fighting he'd have to do as a Stormtrooper allied with the Resistance. He closed his mind firmly to Kylo. Tried to change the subject. Needed to. He had to decline and get out of there.

"Take off my fucking face. I don't like it."

Kylo looked more annoyed as he flickered back into his own body, still wearing Hux's uniform. The brief finger of appreciation ghosted across his mind, and Hux made especially sure his defenses were up against Kylo. He could feel the Force pressure building as Kylo tried to see in, and failed.

"You're stalling. Give me an answer."

Hux's frustration (desperation? he was never desperate) only built. He finally broke, thinking this was better than Kylo prying the secret out of the deepest depths of his mind.

"I don't need to give you an answer! You can just order me to do it! You're... somehow a commanding officer, aren't you? You can make me do anything you want, actually, with your Force powers. So why don't you? Why do you need to hear my answer at all?"

It was the wrong thing to say. Hux felt a Force pressure that jerked him sharply to his knees, forced him to rock back and sit on them upright, with his hands in his lap, forced him to face up to Kylo.

He fought it. He did. But no matter how much he told himself there was no danger, that Kylo wasn't going to kill him in this conference room, the adrenaline still spiked because he’d never fought against Kylo’s control this hard before. He didn’t want Kylo to know why, to know this part of him that he had never told anyone, and his furious resistance was only making it impossible to hide. He lost his composure. His mental barriers weakened. Kylo forced his way in.

When his adrenaline spiked, he got excited. Aroused. The arousal was more powerful than the anger, and much worse. Hux could set aside his anger, and any other emotion, fairly easily. But he couldn’t ignore or dismiss the arousal. It was just there, and only time or masturbation, concentrating furiously on the physical sensation of arousal or of the success of a difficult fight, would rid him of it.

Fighting hand-to-hand at the academy had been pure torture. He had liked it, enjoyed the new skill and the physical power and respect he learned in the practice rings. He had also been relieved when he found that the combination of physically exhausting himself in a fight and masturbating afterward dispelled him of persistent frustration, and helped focus his mind like nothing else had. But he had fought hard for ways to disguise his obvious arousal, fought hard mental battles with himself to control it as he was fighting difficult physical ones. He loathed this lack of control, and hated engaging physical opponents in a fight because of it. It was why he took his anger out through sword practice, and why he did his sword practice in his room, by himself.

Hux couldn't hide it from Kylo, physically or mentally, after the arousal came upon him. He threw his thoughts open to Kylo in disgust. He kept his impersonal mask while looking up at him (he was still able to), but clenched his jaw. It was the one thing about himself he hated, and here he was, forced to admit it to one of his only supervisors. Hux could not imagine a situation he wanted to be in less, anything that would be more humiliating. He was finding the humiliation was only making the arousal worse, something he hadn’t previously discovered, as he didn’t think he’d ever been humiliated like this.

Kylo walked to where Hux was sitting to loom over him. A fleeting look of triumph crossed his face that made Hux so furious he fought harder against the Force hold. But Kylo’s triumph was gone in an instant, replaced by intrigue.

"You don't like hand-to-hand combat because you get off on fighting?"

"Yes." Hux said tightly. He hated it. And he hated that being forced into the admission (being forced into anything) only made him more humiliated, more aroused. He struggled against the subjugation, mentally railed against it, and it only roused him further. His mental efforts to set the thoughts aside were failing him, and that he was even trying when he knew it was hopeless was a sign of just how desperately he Did Not Want to Be Doing This, with Kylo standing in front of him, exerting the control over his body and mind.

Kylo, certainly still privy to his thoughts, looked perplexed by this. "I don't understand. Why are you so ashamed?"

Phrased like that, it did sound absurd, and Hux calmed slightly as he considered how to answer, and how this looked to Kylo.

Kylo was right. Battle lust was common enough that they gave Stormtroopers leisure time after engagements. Even at the academy, Hux had been far from the only person who got hard during combat training, which didn’t stop him from hiding it, since even back then, he had known better to show too much of himself to others.

Kylo latched onto this last thought, and Hux could feel him paging through his thoughts and memories. “Why would you want to keep yourself from making friends? They would have told you it was nothing. You probably would have found someone who was the same, that you could have had sex with afterward.” He sounded genuinely puzzled.

Hux laughed mirthlessly, still trying to deflect Kylo’s interest. “What, because you have so many that it’s hard to imagine I don’t want them?”

This was the wrong thing to say, and he felt a spike of rage, incongruously, as Kylo sent pain wracking through his body again. Hux’s fingers bit into his thighs and he moaned, pathetically, unable to help himself. He clenched his eyes shut, forcing them open and blinking, trying to figure out why that had made him so angry. He looked back up at Kylo, whose look matched Hux’s mood. As he watched, Kylo visibly calmed down, switching back to annoyance.

“So do you get off on shame and punishing yourself? This is nothing. I’m embarrassed for you, that you had nobody to tell this to before. Are you such a masochist that keeping this to yourself is better than taking a mission you’re actually looking forward to? Would that make your life a little less exciting?”

Hux was genuinely insulted by Kylo’s barb about not having any friends. “I’m embarrassed for you, trying to put me down for not having any friends. I imagine your lifestyle lends itself well to sexual discussion with your peers. Or is your life counselor Snoke?”

Hux almost grinned as the pain wracked through his body again, which made the spike of rage even more puzzling. He moaned, resigning himself to the spectacle of this situation and deciding he didn’t have to pretend in front of someone who could read his mind. A tear leaked from the corner of one eye, though Hux couldn’t figure out if it was triggered by strong emotion, physical pain, or the fact he was about to come into his pants with little more than Kylo glaring angrily at him.

“Mine was a path of isolation. You don’t have any excuse.”

Hux raised an eyebrow. “Certainly you can tell what I am.”

Kylo’s face went blank. “What are you talking about?”

Hux laughed, once, shortly. “I don’t fit in, to put it mildly. Perhaps you never noticed that about yourself, or it never occurred to you to hide it from others.”

Hux knew he didn’t really feel, like other people. Control, anger, hate, ambition, these were what fueled him. Otherwise, he mimicked those around him, looked to others for how he should be feeling. Not doing so set him on the outside, and not in a way he enjoyed or could control. Young Hux had tried hard to mimic others, since ostracism hadn’t suited his ambitions. After years of pretending, studying people for how he should react to certain things, he found it a useful tool for manipulation, and it had become an asset. As had being a sociopath, when he had been given enough power. Making decisions that other people flinched from was an admirable quality in a leader, but not in a boy.

Kylo could have this for free, since it wasn’t a liability anymore. His lack of facial expression led Hux to believe he didn’t really understand what Hux was talking about anyway, which was fine. He wasn’t really that interested in unburdening his soul to Kylo Ren, though apparently Kylo was.

Kylo’s brow creased. “You seem to be feeling humiliation just fine.”

Hux scowled. “Apparently it’s a turn-on. If I didn’t feel anything, I don’t think I would be alive. But I don’t have the same emotions as other people, no.”

_It frightens them, like you frighten them._ Hux didn’t say that out loud, though he wasn’t sure why not. He probably would have welcomed another jolt of pain, as it would likely send him over the edge of orgasm.

Kylo gritted his teeth. “I’m not getting you off that easily.”

“Then what are you doing? You want me to go on the mission? Fine! I’ll go. You’ve got it all. Let me leave.”

Kylo still seemed to be puzzling his way through something. “I frighten people…” he trailed off. Hux wasn’t sure what he was looking for in the thought. He wanted to end this, so he tried harder to provoke him to violence.

“Yes, you frighten people. You dress in black, you used to wear a mask and use vocal distortion, you led a band of violent killers, you creep up on people with your lightsaber, read their thoughts, hurt them physically with magic. You are literally one of the most terrifying people I’ve ever met.”

“But you’re not afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid of much.”

Kylo was still looking at him like he was a calculus equation he couldn’t quite puzzle through. “Then why do you get off on being in a fight? Most people I’ve met who do are aroused by the fear of death.”

“I don’t have the resources to compare my own situation to other people’s, do I? I don’t know! It might just be a physical thing, like adrenaline or something. I always think I should be afraid of certain things, but I can never quite convince myself I’m in danger of losing my life.”

Kylo’s hand reached for his side, and Hux’s mouth quirked when he realized he was reaching for a lightsaber that wasn’t there, likely because he had been trying too hard to disguise himself as Hux. He saw the malice on Kylo’s face, could taste that he wanted to goad Hux into a fear of death.

Hux wanted it, too. His arousal spiked again, and he closed his eyes. When nothing happened, he opened them to find Kylo considering him blankly again, with the vaguely stupid look on his face. His face twitched when he sensed Hux’s thought, but he wasn’t provoked this time.

He could feel Kylo rifling furiously through his thoughts, trying to process this revelation, though he had enough control now that it wasn’t showing on his face. “If you… don’t feel like other people, then why does it bother you so much that you get turned on by violence?”

Hux did look away at that, disappointed that his rather personal deflection hadn’t been successful. There was a reason he hated himself for this, aside from his lack of control, and he knew his silence, while he tried to grope for a comeback, was enough of an answer for Kylo. Hux clenched his jaw tighter, trying to resist the memory, and when he felt Kylo’s mental link deepen and get more uncomfortable, he decided this moment couldn’t get any fucking worse and thought of his brothers.

His two older brothers had been much older than him. The oldest was known as a berserker, one of the bloodiest and most ruthless officers of the Empire. He went into a battle frenzy that frightened even his allies, he was unparalleled on the field of battle. He wasn't respected, though, more disdained and discussed as a dirty secret. The derision that he’d seen on the faces of others, on his father’s face, when his brother the Lieutenant had come up, instilled in a very young Hux that this man was Not To Be Imitated, or even spoken of, and Hux had developed a pathological aversion to the man.

Lieutenant Hux was the type that didn’t come to meetings, had no interest in strategy, no place in the power struggles of the Empire. He seemed to have no allies, though he was tolerated. You pointed him at what you wanted completely eliminated, and he went to town. He was known especially for his lust, which Hux had picked up on even before he knew what that meant, and this fact had climbed to the top of his brother’s Forbidden Profile. More than a few of the soldiers in Hux's Stormtrooper army were his nieces and nephews.

Kylo looked impressed. "I didn't know that. That's cold, even for you."

Hux was confused for a moment, not sure what Kylo was referring to.

“Using children related to you as cannon fodder. That it doesn’t even register to you is even worse.” His face was turned down in consternation, though Hux couldn’t tell if Kylo was genuinely disturbed, or if he should be offended by getting a lesson in morals from a Sith Lord. He felt an absurd impulse to defend himself, and was doing so before he could stop.

"It’s not like that. They're better taken care of in the First Order than they would be in orphanages scattered throughout the galaxy."

"I can tell you weren’t thinking of their well-being when you recruited them, but okay. You could have put them in officer's training, too, since they’re relations."

Now it was Hux's turn to look disconcerted. "We haven't done that since the Empire was overthrown. Our promotions come from within, recommended by supervisors." He was annoyed. Kylo had free reign of the First Order, to direct it to do whatever he wanted, and him not knowing simple operational details like this seemed dangerous to him, made Hux's job harder.

Pain rippled through Hux's body at the thought, along the limbs that were being forced into place, along his muscles, along his neck. He kept his face impassive. He wasn't sure whether that was good or bad. He was close. He only needed to push Kylo a little more. If he could get this out of his system, he felt confident he could end this exchange, this humiliation.

"Don't call me stupid." Kylo's face looked darker, angrier than usual.

"Then educate yourself." Hux gritted out through the pain, his face still schooled into his neutral mask.

The pain intensified, and Hux irrevocably lost control of himself. He cried out, his face contorting in pain, flirting with pleasure. So close. Just a bit more.

"I don't need to educate myself. I have people like you to tell me what I need to know."

The pain lessened, though the pressure was still there, still tight, still preventing him from twitching a muscle out of place. He did gasp for breath. He was allowed to do that.

Kylo stepped back from him and began pacing the room. Where Hux was crouched was directly in front of the podium, in front of the chairs and the ring of holocall chairs, facing the door. Kylo paced along the wall of the door, throwing occasional glances his way.

"Nobody remembers your brother, the former Lieutenant Hux. He's a footnote at the end of the history of the Empire, and only that because you rose to the rank of Commander General of the First Order. How does it feel, Commander General, to know that your family's notoriety is only remembered because you are still trying to subjugate the galaxy? If you feel anything at all?"

It felt fucking great, Hux thought, but it wasn't something he would ever admit out loud. He didn't have to, though.

Kylo smirked again, continuing to pace in Hux's Commander General uniform, his gloved hands clasped behind his back. Hux focused on Kylo’s dark hair, absurdly, since it was brushing the collar and longer than regulation.

Kylo continued. "Do you really think that you lack such control that people would compare you to your brother? Are you really such a bad judge of yourself, and how other people think?"

No, he thought, annoyed at being scolded by Kylo for something he thought he was the better judge of. But being like his brother had terrified him enough that he had learned to control and hide his arousal. And the control was the point. Denying it was part of it. He didn't want the arousal.

At the thought, he felt the Force pressure again, bending him over, pressing his face against the floor. His pulse spiked. He got harder. His erection was throbbing painfully.

"In case you haven't noticed, you have no control whatsoever right now. Over anything, including your lust. What do you make of that?"

Hux's mind wandered alarmingly, another new sensation for him. This situation was leaving his control, and he didn’t like the direction of Kylo’s thoughts. Was Kylo going to rape-

_NO_ , the force of the thought was powerful inside his mind. Hux balked somewhat at it.

Hux could no longer see Kylo's face, but he heard his boots shuffle up in front of him and stop less than a foot away.

He was confused. What the fuck was happening here, then, if he wasn't about to be raped by a Sith Lord? Would Kylo just… let him get off and let him leave? Certainly he could tell how close Hux was. What was the point of all this?

"The point, Commander General, is that... I think your control is holding you back. Your... refusal to accept your desires has apparently kept you from combat simulation since you were a schoolboy. You refused to go on this mission with me."

This sounded… fake to Hux, wrong somehow. Like Kylo was making a theatrical gesture. He was still alarmed, but he didn’t interrupt.

Kylo paused for a moment, two. “And you keep yourself under such tight control that I’d like to see you lose it. I’m curious about what that’s like.”

_NO_ , Hux thought, truly alarmed. _No, not this, the conference room-_

"Here?" He could hear Kylo comment lazily. "What difference does it make where we are? Do you honestly think anyone could enter a room I don't want them to enter? Hear what I don't want them to hear? Remember what I don't want them to remember?"

Hux’s cock throbbed at such... power, control. He hated it, reveled in it. He clenched his jaw against the heat that surged through him at the thought.

Suddenly, abruptly, the Force that was causing him to bow against the floor released, and he felt the Force pressure, ever-preset while in front of Kylo, leave his mind. He nearly moaned aloud at the loss of sensation. He stayed in his position on the floor, rather than face Kylo.

"Commander General," Kylo said sharply. "Stand and face me."

Hux didn't think he could stand. He didn't think he could look Kylo in the face. Didn't want Kylo to see his erection straining through his pants. Couldn’t decide what he did want. A new wave of lust burned through him at the thought of letting Kylo tell him what he wanted. He tried to set it aside. Tried to rationalize this situation. Wasn’t thinking clearly. Mostly just wanted. Wanted, wanted, wanted-

"Commander General Hux." Kylo said sharply, in warning.

Hux stood. As he got up, he could hear Kylo turn towards the door, put his back to Hux. Hux schooled his expression and stood at attention anyway. He wondered why Kylo had turned away when he wanted Hux to face him, then flinched expectantly against the thought of being reprimanded, before realizing Kylo wasn't currently in his mind.

"Undress."

The single word was barked out. Absurd, Hux thought. Absurd that this was even happening, absurd that he was sitting here, undoing the buttons of his jacket as fast as his fumbling fingers could get them open, without Kylo forcing him to, though he could feel Kylo creeping back into his mind now. Absurd that he did want this, absurd that there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind that having someone tell him to do this, the surrender was... He shuddered, wracked with greed, need for this. He was getting turned on at the thought of being commanded to… what? Not knowing was even more terrifying, more exciting.

It took him two minutes to strip down completely naked. The lust abated somewhat, and he felt foolish, exposed, standing bare in the conference room he had been passionately giving orders in for the past week. The lust washed back into him at the thought of the humiliation, a heavy pressure in the pit of his stomach, his cock throbbing. He thought about touching himself, but, absurdly, didn't want to do anything that Kylo didn't order.

He felt the Force pressure surging more strongly in his mind. The thought of Kylo knowing of his humiliation only brought him closer to orgasm. He was having a hard time believing that this, this situation right here, was the ultimate fantasy at the end of his endless masturbation sessions after his anger-induced swordplay.

"Undress me."

Hux had an initial wave of arousal that was chased by a vaguely uneasy thought of seeing Kylo naked, that somehow, that would make this more real. Which was silly, but his mind was railing at the thought of standing naked in front of another person, and he just couldn’t get past a mental block stopping him from seeing where such a situation would go. He began to feel a little panicked, but this was mostly drowned by the pounding waves of physical arousal, of need, he still felt some hesitation and just enough shame that was holding him back... and desperation?

He focused on that thought, dangling at the end of a whole chain of unfamiliar emotion rolling through his mind. Was it the situation? He focused on the desperation in particular. He didn't often feel desperate, and he wasn't sure why he would be desperate now. Desperate to undress Kylo? He didn't even feel desperate to get off, necessarily, and upon reflection, felt pretty fucking positive he'd be okay, in this context, doing it himself in front of Kylo.

Abruptly, the Force pressure he hadn’t noticed building in his mind pulled away again, and Kylo took a visible step forward, away from him. Hux realized the desperation had likely been Kylo's thoughts leaking into his own, his Force mind probe leeching his own feelings into Hux's head.

Hux felt more vaguely defiled by this than he had by anything else, and the two stood in silence for a moment. He thought about Kylo orchestrating this little scene. Was he getting turned on by this? Did that make it better? Worse? Had he noticed anything else out of place? Was the arousal even his? The anger in the earlier exchanges, the rage when Kylo had punished him earlier with the Force… it had been Kylo’s. Examining his own emotions past the feel of being dirty, defiled, Hux found he was still pretty fucking turned on, and he supposed that feeling did belong to him.

Ultimately, it didn't matter. Hux felt like he had gone this far, had made the decision to undress himself. What difference did any of the rest of it make, really?

Hux stepped around Kylo and in front of him and began to undo the uniform buttons. He didn't look up into Kylo's face, not sure he wanted to after knowing his desperation, thought it might be embarrassing for both of them. He undid his own jacket and stripped it off Kylo, and reached for the undershirt to untuck it from the pants.

"Just the jacket will do."

Hux's hands dropped to his sides, and he looked up at Kylo's face, his own expression carefully schooled neutrality. Kylo looked about the same, blank, detached. Hux waited a beat, two.

"Stand with your back against the door."

Hux obediently turned around, closed the distance, and put his back against the door.

"Kneel."

He did. His knees were cold against the polished metal floor. The debasement, the orders, the thought that someone could open the door and see his bare ass pressed against it, all of it was driving him crazy, sending waves of shame and heat through his body that gathered in his cock and filled it again and again and again. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep himself from orgasm. Didn’t realize he could be this turned on and not peak.

"Not like that, like this."

He had been standing up on his knees, but he could feel Force pressure grip him, force him backwards into a seated kneel, like Kylo had positioned him in before.

Hux didn't groan aloud, but he wanted to. He was sweating, and he had lost control over his face. He tried not to think about that.

"Masturbate. I want to see it."

Hux gritted his teeth, not wanting to admit that having a spectator felt exquisite. He gratefully gripped his cock and brought himself off with only a few pumps of his fist.

It was both easier and more intense than he'd ever felt it before. The emptying sensation, the orgasm, wracked his whole body in a way that was new to him, that he’d never been able to do himself. It was physically painful to come this hard, and that only made it better. He shook from the effort, leaned forward, gasped for breath, unsure if he could open his eyes, unsure what was happening right now outside his own experience.

He didn’t know if seconds or minutes passed while he waited for the physical sensations to leave him. He felt scorched out from the inside, clean. Purified. This feeling was chased by a new, hugely powerful feeling of arousal, which clenched in his gut and was physically painful after his release. Unexpectedly, he felt another, less powerful orgasm crash into him. It made him gasp aloud, his eyes flying open to see if he was actually ejaculating again. His vision blackened, and he fell forward onto his hands again.

After a few moments, he regained his senses, and looked up to see Kylo slumped in a chair against the opposite wall, staring at the ceiling. He tried to feel if Kylo was in his head, and couldn't, but didn’t know if that meant he couldn’t tell or Kylo wasn’t there. He stared at Kylo for a moment, who was breathing heavily.

Hux realized that the second orgasm had to have been Kylo's, and the force of it had come back into Hux through the mental connection Kylo had been maintaining. Kylo’s feelings had bled into Hux's mind again, and the force of Hux's orgasm had gotten Kylo off without being touched. He felt the vague sense of violation again, which was quickly chased away by the thought that having two orgasms felt amazing, and that perhaps that was an asset in this situation.

Other than that, Hux wasn't sure what to think, in the cold post-coital reality.

Kylo's dark eyes locked with his own across the room. His disheveled, sweaty face looked about as blank as Hux felt.

Hux stood, shakily, and began silently getting dressed. He wiped his hands on his underwear before pulling it on, and stared at the puddle of come on the floor. The thought of leaving it there thrilled him, knowing that it would stay until the next cleaning, and nobody would know what it was.

Behind him, Kylo snorted, having heard the thought. Hux turned around while he was pulling his black undershirt on to look at Kylo, who was giving him a smug look while still collapsed in the chair.

"Was that better than masturbating in the shower?"

Hux scowled, but with no real anger. He was happy to have the awkward silence broken, though felt the need to hide inside himself again, to push Kylo away.

“I don’t know, was it?”

He hadn’t pictured Kylo’s sex life before that instant, but the comment had a ring of truth to it, and said out loud, Hux realized that it was probably more of a personal slight than Kylo would take. He continued, trying to cover the gaffe. "Those are bold words, coming from someone who can't stand and didn't even get touched."

Kylo looked angry for a half-second, then shrugged, unashamed. The smirk disappeared, but his eyes still glittered with an emotion Hux couldn't quite place. Probably just exhaustion. Kylo's lack of shame made Hux feel better, made this feel more like the power play and temporary diversion that it was.

Hux finished buttoning his uniform and ran his fingers through his slicked-back hair, a bit surprised to find that nothing was out of place after all that.

"How like you, Commander General. To be able to bring yourself to orgasm so neatly."

Hux managed to pull his lip up, unsure if it was a compliment or a barb. He went to the door's control panel and found it worked, so he left without saying a word.


	5. Chapter 5

Kylo stayed hidden for two days after that. Hux was relieved, as he was still sorting through his thoughts on that... incident.

More and more, he was coming back to the fact that it had felt like a clean-out. Not in the hand-wringing, overly dramatic sense, but that it had released pressure that Hux hadn't realize he held onto, and hadn’t needed. He had done sword practice both nights following the incident, but more out of habit than as a way to relieve the stresses of the day. Because he hadn’t had his normal anger and frustration to vent, the exercise had also not followed with the customary masturbation sessions. The arousal just wasn’t there, and Hux wasn’t sure why.

Last night, he had tried to masturbate, merely to see if he could, and found he could bring himself to climax with the thought of being pressed into a naked crouch to the door of the conference room, jerking himself off in front of a seated, regal-looking, seemingly impassive Darth Caedus, who was wearing Hux’s officer's uniform.

But, of course, Kylo hadn't been impassive. He had been desperate.

Hux pushed the thought away.

The whole situation had been so absurd, and so arousing, that it made Hux feel lightheaded.

And a little annoyed. Because, somehow, Kylo had been right. In most ways that mattered, nobody really cared about Hux’s sex life. He was sure he had a reputation for being frosty, and his imposing demeanor tended to shut any overtures down before they started. If people wondered about his sex life, it was probably to speculate whether he had one (he didn't).

Full stop, Hux didn’t have a sex life, and had never had one. He had never desired one, and it had seen like an unnecessary encumbrance. He’d never been close enough to anybody for sex to occur to him (and, likely, for sex with him to occur to someone else). He had decided some time ago that a partner wasn’t necessary as part of his “blend in” act, either. He knew it had made him seem distant when he was younger, but while some officers did have families and lovers, those who didn’t were seen as more dedicated to the Order. That was fine with Hux, and he kept it in mind as a long-term goal. As long as he wasn’t seen as an outsider, he wouldn’t have to fake it.

But now he returned, again and again, to the intense pleasure he’d felt while pressed to the door of the conference room. He wanted it. He didn’t feel any particular way about the wanting… or he did, because the feeling was so strong, so insistent, that it throbbed in his mind in a way that nothing, other than anger, did. He tried to get mad about it, to let his anger smother it, but this ran counter to the wanting. He couldn’t want sex and hate Kylo for giving it to him. The logical part of his mind told him it should be easy, though. After all, he’d never had much trouble summoning hatred for Kylo Ren while he was on board the _Finalizer_ two years ago. But Hux couldn’t hate Kylo for the sex. Realistically, that was now Hux’s hang-up.

Given the purge, the calmness he felt, and the persistent wanting, he thought about trying sex again. Curing the wanting and purging himself seemed like a good idea.

But Kylo was a wild card. As always. Hux wasn’t sure what to make of him most of the time, professionally, and analyzing his sexual proclivities fell outside Hux’s areas of expertise. Did Kylo… want sex to happen? Certainly Kylo hadn’t known that Hux was suppressing arousal before he had begun that inquisition. But he’d clearly enjoyed himself. Right?

So… what about it? Did Hux just walk up and ask him to throw him against the wall with the Force and strip him naked? Was that kind of request a verbal conversation, or a written comm?

It made a certain sort of sense to engage in sexual liaisons with Kylo. Both were high ranking officers, Hux was positive neither would talk about the other (realistically, because neither of them had any friends), and both were imposing enough to keep rampant gossip at bay. And even if it was obvious, he was fairly sure that the only surprise would be that either of them had sex at all.

Stumbling across the thought of Kylo's sex life brought him to a halt mid-stride in the hallway, his neutral expression firmly in place.

Hux was certain Jedi were celibate, and knew from the fact that Kylo had killed his father that emotional attachment was likely discouraged by the Sith order as well. Kylo had been one or the other his entire life. Did he have sex? He had clearly gotten off the other day.

Perhaps it was as Kylo said. There just wasn't as much to it as he had always thought, just a mutual service for both parties. No emotional attachment necessary. Hux kept coming back to that, not believing it was that simple, but not seeing another way around it.

He blinked, and looked around to see a few people who had stepped aside to salute staring at him. He ran his eyes over them briefly, then proceeded down the hallway, giving nothing of his thoughts away.

For the last two days, they had been running drills and war games with their fighters, preparing for the attack and recovery of the supply convoy. Hux had been glad to have something to do, something to occupy his mind so he could stop thinking about his encounter in the conference room.

The biggest disadvantage was that he was spending so much time worrying about it. It was unlike him, to be wrapped up in personal problems. To even have personal problems. If he continued to indulge, it might continue to be a distraction. Better to not. He resolved to set it aside once and for all. Easier said than done, but Hux had to at least pretend, to himself, that he could do it.

He strode confidently into the cavernous battle command room, grateful for the distraction. Except this wasn’t the distraction.  But Hux chose to ignore that detail presently.

The crew wasn’t expecting him here, and he could see several of the techs swivel in their seats, then quickly look away. There were two squadrons who weren’t quite up to Hux’s standards of battle coordination, and he wanted to drill them. Impromptu.

He had one of the techs comm the soldiers, then he walked down to the lower level, so that the towering clear viewing bay and the equipment monitors were all accessible. They should be able to scramble the squadrons in about 20 minutes, and Hux could watch everything from here. Two-squadron drills wouldn’t take long to complete, but he wanted these two to have extra practice.

He approached a Major that was still analyzing flight history for the squadrons, an older, senior officer who normally oversaw research in their weapons technology. They discussed the fighter histories, and Hux eventually brought the conversation around to recent improvements to their fighter fleet.

Unexpectedly, Hux felt the telltale Force pressure in his mind again. Kylo was never near the battle command center unless summoned, so Hux assumed he was being invasive from another section of the ship. He focused on his conversation and disregarded it.

Just as they began to get the notifications about the soldiers entering the TIE fighters, Hux heard an unnatural stillness creeping through the staff.  He glanced across and saw Darth Caedus walk into the room, still wearing an officer's uniform, though this time without any insignia of rank. He wore a cloak identical to Hux's own, which was annoying. Not many of the other officers wore cloaks, and Hux hated the imitation, as if Kylo had traded the Commander General insignia for the cloak. He became more annoyed when he realized Kylo was getting him worked up over stealing his fashion sense.

Hux watched Kylo’s affect on the staff. There were over 100 people in the battle command room, and almost all of them fell silent at his entrance. Not many bothered to hide their distraction. Hux spared a thought that Kylo didn’t often move around on the ship, so even the crew of the _Finalizer_ , where Kylo had lived off and on for over a year, weren’t that familiar with him, and had probably only seen him in passing. He’d be completely new and novel on this ship, an unknown that many wouldn’t care to get close to.

Hux frowned as his eyes followed Kylo’s obvious beeline over to him. He felt somewhat useless at the thought of being as isolated as Kylo. His own strengths, ironically, involved people, and isolation was a sure way to lose his skills, and not be as effective with them.

He supposed Kylo’s strengths were with supernatural power, which didn’t entail staying involved with the crew. If it were Hux, would he be able to keep himself apart as much as Kylo? Hux thought that might be rather boring. And difficult. What did you do, if you weren’t mixing with crew, monitoring personnel, working in a team to develop technology, repair something, run drills, prepare strategy? He couldn’t even remember where Kylo took his meals, but it wasn't ever in the main cafeteria, not while Hux was there. Did Sith Lords even need to eat, or did they get nourished by the Force?

_Of course I eat_ , came the response directly into his head. Hux had to resist rolling his eyes at the petulant comment. He hadn't missed the childishness over the past two days. He considered throwing up his mental barriers, then decided not to bother. There was a certain thrill to Kylo having access to his unfiltered thoughts, most of which were incredibly unflattering.

Kylo huffed in what sounded like amusement as he stood next to Hux and looked out the viewing bay at the ships beginning their patterns. Hux had turned to stare at him, but looked out the window to be less obvious, staring out of the corner of his eye. Both were silent. Hux knew it looked awkward, but he thought the burden of conversation should probably fall on Kylo in this situation.

How annoying. Also, he should have known.

The Major he had been speaking to clammed up, made some excuses as he powered down his monitors, and left in a hurry. As Hux half-turned and looked covertly around the room, the other officers were doing the same, unless directly involved in the drills that Hux had requested. The lower-ranking staff was slowly resuming regular activities.

Hux looked back out the viewing bay. The drills had just started, but he felt distracted and uninterested, unable to focus on whether the forms they were flying were correct. They looked fine, but what were the details Hux had been trying to focus on? He suddenly couldn’t remember, and was growing increasingly annoyed with himself, his uncharacteristic inability to focus, all because of fucking Kylo fuck-

_Just fly the drills, if that’s what you wanted to do_ , Kylo said into his mind. _You’re no General at all if you can’t ignore someone standing next to you_.

"Lord Caedus, a pleasure to have you join us for these remedial drills. Please let me know if there's anything special you require." Hux spat this out, furiously, Kylo’s snide mental comments putting him into a rage he couldn’t disguise from those on the lower deck. Mental assessment said that this was an acceptable reaction for the unexpected appearance of Darth Caedus, and the staff wouldn’t think it odd.

"Indeed, Commander General. I just came to observe the fleet briefly. It’s been so long since I’ve seen the fighters in action," Kylo said out loud. Kylo had turned to give Hux what appeared to be polite attention. Hux nodded and turned to one of the screens that monitored the inside of the ship in the lead of the A formation.

_Do you really constantly assess your actions based on what everyone around you thinks?_

_Yes_ , Hux answered shortly, trying to calm himself down. _It’s important to know what’s expected and unexpected, and when to use both._ This seemed so basic. Hux’s fury was melting back into annoyance at the lesson in leadership skills for Lord Caedus, their commander.

_Don’t get so offended. Now that you’ve explained yourself, I can tell you that normal people don’t do that. It’s too much work._

_Are you a normal person now? Are you going to give me lessons on staying in my room and never letting the staff see me?_

Hux could feel a spike of rage and annoyance that wasn’t his over the mental link. He smirked while facing the screen, hiding it from the staff around him. He knew it was juvenile to rile Kylo, but it was so satisfying.

_Not… from me, no. But I can tell other people don’t think like you. I know how other people work. They don’t do that._

Hux refused to acknowledge the point, though Kylo could read his mind and would know it hit home anyway. _I already know they don’t think like me. Thus the analysis._

_Then don’t tell me you’re doing me a favor._

_I didn’t actually tell you that. You read my mind. Stop it, if you don’t like what you see there._

Hux clenched his jaw and turned back to the viewing bay, still not clear on why he had ordered these squads to run remedial drills. They looked fine.

_They think you’re annoying when you do things like this._

_I’m supposed to be annoying. I’m a direct supervisor. Are you going to tell me that most normal people love their bosses?_

_No, I’m… just saying. They don’t need you here, breathing down their necks. It doesn’t help._

_And you came down personally to tell me this? Because you feel like your presence sets people at ease? If that’s the case, I feel it’s my duty to inform you that you can’t read people’s minds as well as you say._

He could feel Kylo getting angry again. Hux was beginning to guess that Kylo hated verbal sparring matches, that they made him feel inferior to Hux. As much as Hux enjoyed the thought of Kylo, who had drawn all the winning numbers in life’s lottery, being bad at something, continually frustrating him in conversations was not the victory he had hoped for. Kylo made for easy prey.

Hux also wondered, vaguely, if Kylo controlled himself better than he had on the _Finalizer_. Making him angry there usually led to destruction and sometimes personnel death. He didn’t want Kylo losing control in the main battle room.

“I won’t,” Kylo bit out shortly, speaking out loud, but very low. “I finished my training. I don’t have to act out anymore. I can channel my emotions into control of the Dark Side of the Force.”

Hux glanced over at him, and around in their immediate vicinity. It had been vacated. Of course. Nobody really wanted to see them butt heads.

“You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I don’t care.”

“I know you don’t care about me. You care about the ship.”

Hux blew out a breath, closed his eyes. Opened them again, looking out over the ships, flying around and between each other, their sensors registering whether their simulated laser blasts were hitting home. Hux couldn’t see any of it. He wanted Kylo to get to the point. “Okay. You came here for a reason. I know it wasn’t to watch remedial drills.”

_I require your presence in my room. Is that what you wanted to hear?_

Kylo had said it into his head, but Hux couldn't help the heat that crept up his neck and face, or the erection that began at the semi-public humiliation. Both were covered well enough by having his back to the room. An absurd part of his mind wondered if the fighters could see his hard cock in his pants through the viewing bay, in the pilot seats of the ships. That line of thought was only getting him harder.

This was just fucking brazen.

_Not nearly as brazen as what I plan to do to you tonight_ , came the reply in his head.

Hux put his gloved hand to the clear shield of the viewing bay, leaning his weight against it. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to calm himself down enough to not walk through the Battle Command Center with his erection visible to every low-ranking technician stationed here. He had left his cloak in his quarters before coming to supervise this, and was wishing badly for it now.

He needed to make small talk in the worst way, to try and take his mind off this (and close his mind to Kylo so he could stop humiliating him in front of a significant portion of the crew) (Hux didn't actually want the humiliation to stop). No mundane topics were occurring to him, just thoughts of being at Kylo’s mercy. He could hear another amused snort from Kylo next to him.

"Lord Caedus," he said out loud, then paused, wanting desperately for spur-of-the-moment bullshit to occur to him. His interests were mostly in technological advances, battle strategies, old Republic and Empire histories. He was fairly certain none of this was common ground with Kylo. Then he remembered.

"I recall your sword skills being excellent. When did you start training?"

He felt more comfortable with this conversational gambit, and pushed himself away from the viewing bay. Kylo turned to one of the monitors, considering the question. Hux wondered if Kylo even knew what that monitor was used for (medical feedback for the troopers in the ships, but a complicated format for it). Despite the fact that no staff was nearby, Hux still sensed the small noises dying throughout the room as people stopped what they were doing to listen to their conversation, now loud enough to be eavesdropped on. Only the radio chatter from the fighters cut through the silence.

Kylo turned to face Hux. Hux wondered, idly, how much Kylo was enjoying this. His face wasn’t currently giving anything away. "Sword training? I started when I was ten, maybe. It's not the first thing the Jedi teach, but we start doing it fairly early on."

Hux grimaced, not really wanting to talk about Kylo as a Jedi. As he cast about for anything his own training had in common with lightsabers, Kylo helpfully continued.

"I only fought opponents for a few years, though. Once I killed all the Jedi, I only really did solitary forms after that."

And just like one of those slain Jedi, Kylo had killed the conversation dead (nearly with a lightsaber). Hux noticed the silence in the room stretching, growing more awkward, and could feel undisguised stares coming from the workers in the vicinity.

_Fuck's sake, was that necessary? Did you have to bring up murdering children here? Do you even know how to have a conversation like a normal person?_

It occurred to Hux that these staff members might not know who Kylo was, might not know what he was talking about. That the Jedi had been children. That was a bit of a relief, since such things horrified most people. He didn’t want the staff openly terrified of Kylo.

Out loud, he gamely continued, still wanting desperately to calm himself down. "A shame you didn't have armed opponents after that. Do you feel your sword skills suffered as a result?"

Kylo turned away from Hux and smirked into the viewing bay.

_It’s really funny that you are more offended by the breech in etiquette than the act itself._

Out loud, Kylo said "I don't think it suffered, really. I tried to train again when I joined the Knights of Ren, but none of them were interested in sparring with me, after I killed the first one."

Hux let "Waste of a good ally" escape his mouth before he could stop it. The academic thought that Kylo had been fairly young when he had entered the Knights of Ren came unbidden to his memory, and he was impressed that he had slain one of the other powerful warriors at his age.

But then he remembered where he was, and what they were talking about. As he looked around, the number of people around them who had stopped working had increased, and most people's mouths had dropped open, in addition to staring openly.

Cold-bloodedness wasn't really an image he wished to cultivate, if he could help it, so he decided small talk was unwise and resolved to wait out his erection, and the rest of the training maneuvers, in silence.

_You are cold-blooded, though_ , Kylo added helpfully in his mind.

Hux decided not to answer him directly, though he knew he lacked the compassion most people possessed. It didn't bother him, but it bothered others enough that he had learned to keep those cards close to his chest over the years. When others said they'd stop at nothing to get what they want, they didn't mean it. Hux did.

Hux felt Force pressure suddenly clamping along his thighs and calves, underneath his pants, hidden from other people. He wondered what this was, but decided not to act or ask, to continue as if nothing had changed while the Force surged powerfully and painfully along his legs.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t helping him calm down. Just the opposite.

Kylo turned, regarding the monitors for a moment before looking over at Hux. "I think I'll go back to my room, Commander General, if it's all the same to you. My apologies for disturbing the battle room. You are doing fine work, and I’m glad I came down to verify that tonight. Don't bother to see me out."

Kylo nodded impassively in Hux's direction.

"No disturbance, Lord Caedus. Come see the war games whenever you'd like." Hux impassively offered, nodding back, then turned and continued to watch the fighters, not seeing them.

_When I release you from this hold, then and only then can you come to my room. Don't keep me waiting, Commander General. As you know, I am not a patient man._

Hux's mouth went dry at the command, and he turned to stare at Kylo's back openly, over his shoulder, as Kylo departed through the center of the battle chamber, the staff also staring in open awe. Kylo provided an excellent distraction for the staff from Hux’s own situation. His erection throbbed almost painfully, and as he wondered how he would get out of the battle command room, he felt Force pressure at his chin that jerked his head to the side and made him see a vacant chair near where Kylo had been standing. He had left the jacket identical to Hux’s. Hux hadn’t seen him take it off.

Hux knew he could ignore Kylo. He could set this whole thing aside, go to his quarters, and take out his frustrations on his fighting form. Use the real sword this time, destroy the fucking thing, set it on fire until it burned to ashes. And then have the shop make him a new one.

After all, what would Kylo do, punish him? Hux had changed the security clearance on his quarters to exclude Kylo after his intrusion that first night, though he knew that was a laughably childish action. If Kylo wanted in, he would come in. And punish him. Which Hux knew would be exciting.

But Hux was fairly certain that, if he declined, if he decided not to go to Kylo's room, Kylo wouldn't pursue... this. Hux didn’t miss the fact that Kylo hadn't made it an order, just as he hadn't made the mission request an order. Hux appreciated that he had a decision to make, that Kylo wanted to make sure Hux was doing this of his own free will.

It would have been so much easier if he’d ordered Hux though, because Hux didn’t want to be burdened with a decision in this matter. He wanted Kylo to make it a command, so that Hux didn’t have to weigh the pros and cons so extensively. So that Hux wasn’t responsible for this decision. So he could blame Kylo when… he couldn’t focus.

He liked that Kylo had made it a decision. And also hated it. He had to want it enough to debase himself.

Hux stared at the viewing bay, not seeing the ships, the stars, the rust-red moon they were hovering near, uninhabited and cratered. He loved the organized battles, and he loved being in space, looking out and seeing the infinite possibilities of actions to take. It was one of the reasons he’d been floating through the fleet like a ghost these past two years. Ground operations didn’t provide the kind of promise that the Destroyers did, and being here felt like a reward for all the hard work Hux had put into the Order.

But here, right now, in this room, there weren’t infinite possibilities. There was really only the one action. Not doing it was impossible.

A practical man, Hux knew there was no decision to make at all, really, and resolved to stare vacantly out the viewing bay until he could move (was allowed to move) his legs, put the jacket on, and walk briskly to Kylo's quarters.

Well, there was one decision he could make. He could wait twenty minutes after he was allowed to move, and see what Kylo would do to him when he arrived.

Hux smiled wickedly.


	6. Chapter 6

Hux let himself in (because he also had security access to Kylo's room), and found the bare minimum of personal items he was expecting. Nothing but standard issue items in the kitchen, standard issue sheets on the bed, nothing on the walls and tables. He smirked, thinking of Kylo’s dry comment about his own bare quarters and feeling some small measure of triumph that his were similarly unadorned.

The bed was large, as it was in all officer's quarters. Hux had often wondered why, since no officers had to share space. He thought of his father, and his oldest brother, and what he was about to do now, and wondered if he was finally putting some pieces together he perhaps should have assembled around twenty years ago.

"I didn’t realize until very recently, either." From Kylo, who was leaning in the corner, between the wall and the bed, near the door to the bathroom, a frown on his face.

Hux scowled, acknowledging that letting himself do so felt good, this tiny freedom to not pretend. Hating that Kylo could probably read this thought. "I told you not to move into my head."

In an act of defiance, he walked into the room, straightening the sleeves of his cloak and the gloves underneath, giving himself something to do so that he didn’t have to look at Kylo.

Kylo ignored him. "You decided."

Hux shrugged, still scowling and looking down, fiddling with his buttons, not really wanting to answer.

“You were also late. I know why.”

Hux found himself hurled through the air, landing hard against the door (again). He was pinned at his wrist and ankles, and felt a pressure against his chest crushing the breath out of his lungs. The carefully-suppressed arousal surged powerfully through his body, and he was immediately, absurdly, hard again. He still couldn’t believe it. Kylo could do it so easily.

Hux's eyes bulged as he watched Kylo push himself off from the wall, impassively stroll through the room. With an exaggerated gesture of one of his gloved hands (Hux dimly noted that Kylo no longer used his hands to direct his Force power, or however that worked, and that this was probably theatrical), Hux slid up the wall several inches so that Kylo was looking up at him, from several feet away.

This, of course, only made Hux’s stomach clench around his wanting. He did attempt to straighten his face, to not make it so obvious, but he didn't keep it out of his thoughts, or try to keep Kylo out of his thoughts. He decided there was no point in fighting it at all, since he’d already made up his mind to do this. But he wanted to keep one part of himself in control. It was important, and it had to be his expression, the freedom so recently savored.

Kylo stepped closer, only two feet away from Hux, raking him up and down with his eyes. He was back in his black Sith robes, Hux wasn't sure why. Kylo's eyes returned to Hux's face, full of an intensity that registered as a tingling across Hux's skin, a blush on his cheeks.

"Did you enjoy what we did the other day?"

Hux's mind was reeling, jolting back and forth between the humiliation in the conference room and the pain of being pinned to the wall, his feet not touching the floor, entirely at the mercy-

Pain lanced through his limbs again, and Hux cried out against his will. He clenched his eyes shut, and opened them again when he realized the intense pain was fleeting. Straightening his face. Looking coolly down at Kylo.

"Yes or no, Commander General?" Kylo asked forcefully, his brow furrowing.

_Yes-_

The pain lanced through him again. "Out loud."

"Yes." Hux pushed out past his lips, blinking and looking down into Kylo's impassive face, focusing on the scar that cut brightly across, just below his eye.

Pain again. Hux cried out again. "Louder," from Kylo.

The pain persisted until Hux bellowed "YES."

Still pain. "Yes what?"

"Yes, I liked it!"

The pain receded, just to the points he was pinned to the wall, and in his chest, which was really just a pressure, and Hux was getting turned on by the struggle to breathe, which was ridiculous, the whole thing was ridiculous-

"Then there's no mistake about what's going to happen now, is there?"

"No." Hux said loudly and clearly, trying to focus, make himself see, make himself accept that he was going to do this, that it was okay. He focused on his face, on not flinching, grimacing, or whatever else he was going to do here. He wanted that much control.

He could feel Kylo digging around in his mind a little more, frowning up at him on the wall. Hux wasn't sure what he wanted, what he was looking for, wished he would get on with it-

Kylo let go of his force hold, and Hux fell unceremoniously to the floor, gasping. Kylo closed the distance between them. He could still feel Kylo digging through his head. Hux looked up at him, finding Kylo looking down on him in confusion. What the fuck did he want?

"Shut up." Kylo said out loud.

_I didn't even fucking say-_

Pain lanced through him again. "SHUT UP."

Hux was physically lifted from the floor by Kylo and carried as if he were nothing over to the bed and slung down. Then, with Kylo glaring down at him, and with no time to collect his thoughts, he was Force-lifted over the bed, his limbs spread. Kylo stood, slouched at the foot, squinting, his face contorted in rage, his gloved hand in the air, apparently directing the Force energy again. Hux couldn't see that well, Kylo wasn’t letting him move his head enough to get a good luck at him. But Kylo’s fury was only twisting the arousal tighter across Hux’s skin, the tension spreading to his limbs. Hux imagined he could do such wicked things, with that anger and his power.

As he floated in the air, Kylo began to undress him with the Force, tipping Hux’s head forward so he could watch. With that angry look on his face, he folded his arms behind his back and slowly unlaced and threw Hux's shoes across the room, removed his socks, his trousers, his overcoat, uniform jacket, undershirt, and, slowly, his underwear. Kylo proceeded to stare in confused fury at Hux's erection.

Hux was driven nearly insane by the sensation of being undressed without being touched, the fabric sliding over his skin completely unaided, with no Force pressure from the clothes being taken off, the levitation-

Kylo staring, fully clothed, at his naked arousal was even worse, to be hanging in the air and exposed like this, to be humiliated… but a minute passed, and Kylo did nothing else, and Hux’s ardor began to cool.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he felt the barest touch of Force sensation along his cock. Arousal jolted through him, at the thought of being brought to climax with nobody touching him, or with Kylo touching him, or not touching him. His limbs were jerked spread-eagle painfully, and Kylo continued to stare at his penis as he began to massage it with nothing. When Hux tried to look at his face, he was roughly jerked back by the hair. He moaned through his teeth, clenching them, still trying desperately to keep his thoughts off his face.

The Force massage was unnerving, since it was smooth without being slippery. Kylo was going slowly, but with this much stimulation, Hux didn't think it would take long to get off.

With that thought, he was dropped to the bed. He gasped for breath as he got his bearings, assessed whether he was being held down in any way, whether Kylo was still in his mind (he probably was, but Hux was having a hard time telling).

_I am_ , Kylo confirmed.

_Fucker._

_Not yet._

At this, Hux stiffened. He felt consternation spike through him, on the heels of a fleeting feeling of not wanting, of wrongness. The consternation felt foreign, but then he realized this was probably from Kylo, again.

"You just don't think of other people." Kylo said this, flatly, impassively. “I’m not even really part of this. This is all happening to just you, in your head.”

It was a statement, not a question. It was also true. Hux didn't feel the need to defend himself, or elaborate. Was… was he supposed to be doing something here? To Kylo?

He considered, reluctantly shifting his mind to Kylo's perspective, which would have been amusing even a week ago. What was Kylo getting out of all of this? He had clearly been brought to orgasm during their last little session without even being touched, so doing this to Hux must be pleasurable to him. Extremely. His mind moved away from that immediately, to consider what Kylo might want in reciprocation. Hux was more than an outsider in intimate situations, but had peripherally seen how this worked in his life-

“Are you serious, you’ve never had a sex partner? I thought you just didn’t want to fuck anyone after… after a fight. You’ve never had sex?” The look of astonishment on Kylo’s face would have been comical under other circumstances, but at the moment, Hux felt vaguely insulted.

Hux gritted his jaw, glaring up at Kylo. “I don’t know, you tell me. Is that what you’ve been digging through my thoughts looking for?” Hux was unwilling to concede the truth of the question.

At that thought, Kylo smirked. “Yes, although you did just admit it.”

Hux blew out a breath, trying to decide if he was more frustrated with the conversation or the fact that they had stopped. He didn’t really want to be talking about this. “We can’t all be Superstar Siths, fucking whoever falls in front of us. Or grabbing anyone we want.”

Hux could feel Kylo withdraw from his mind as fury clouded his expression. Hux wondered where this was leading, but to his astonishment, Kylo visibly reined himself back under control. Hux wondered vaguely what had set him off. The implication that he’d had multiple sex partners? The Superstar Sith comment? Neither one made sense to him. To his surprise, Kylo levitated him above the bed again, but this time he had slightly more freedom of motion.

“Look, I know you’re not used to this. But there’s two of us here. You’re going to have to come up with something I’d like this time. You’re going to have to think about someone else. You’re not going to make me forget by making me angry. I can make you wait for a long time.”

Hux balked at the pressure, thinking it was uncharacteristically rational of Kylo to calm himself down and refuse to get wound up. Alternately, it hurt a bit to know he was right, that Hux was trying to make this as impersonal as possible, which Kylo obviously didn’t want.

“I don’t. Most people don’t, you complete psychopath.”

Hux marveled for a moment that Kylo knew what this was, before Kylo jerked his arms so hard that Hux thought his shoulders had dislocated.

“You’re defensive, even in your own head.”

Kylo was right, again. Nobody had ever called Hux a psychopath before, but only because Hux tried to hide it. He suspected it of himself, though didn’t find it shameful, only a negative quality that was easily covered. He had been surprised to hear his own suspicions come from Kylo.

“I didn’t even hear you think this about yourself. It’s completely obvious.”

Hux rolled his eyes, trying to shift his shoulders to find out of they were dislocated. “Do other people think that about me, then? Or is it only obvious because you’ve been reading my thoughts?”

Kylo paused. “No, nobody thinks you’re a psychopath.” He reluctantly agreed. “At least not that I’ve heard.”

“Right.”

“Look, stop stalling. I’m getting impatient. I’m bored holding you up like this.”

“Than fucking get on with it. I came to get off, not to be criticized for the way I live my life.”

“You prefer sticks and stones to the words?”

Hux gritted his teeth, hating the truth, but figuring it was best to be honest, hanging naked in the air like he was. “Yes, precisely.”

“Than get back to what we’re doing. What would I like?”

Hux sighed, and pictured Kylo in his head. He tried to picture Kylo touching him, leaning over him on the bed, getting him off with his gloved hand, and he began to get excited again.

“Not you. Me.”

“Are gloves off limits?”

“No. You’re missing the point. You need to do something for me.”

Hux sighed, closing his eyes again, picturing Kylo. Picturing himself, naked. They stood next to each other. He tried to picture a bed. They both stood next to the bed. He pictured Kylo laying on the bed, and himself standing naked next to it. He pictured it the other way around, and himself sitting up. Was having trouble moving forward into action.

“For fuck’s sake, really? Do you not have an imagination?”

Hux blushed red, this time from unfamiliar embarrassment, the fact of not being good at something. “We’ve already been over the fact this is new to me. Is it my fault I’ve never pictured you naked before?”

“It’s your fault you can’t!” Frustration was creeping back into Kylo’s voice. Hux could hear him taking a moment, yet again, to steady himself, and was impressed despite himself that he had learned control in the two years he’d spent away from the First Order.

"Like it or not, you're going to have to see me naked. This time, I want you to actually undress me."

He dropped Hux onto the bed again. Hux sat up and reluctantly crawled to the foot, where Kylo was standing. He had his eyes pinned to the blanket on the bed, knowing he was going to have to do this. He straightened his facial expression and looked up.

Hux looked at Kylo, really looked at him. Let his gaze drift up and down, as much as he could see. He looked at Kylo's robe. It was a simple enough request, he would only have to pull the robe off, take off the belted tunic and pants underneath, the boots. He tried to picture it. He couldn’t see Kylo’s other clothes under the tattered robe, but in his head, Kylo was wearing them. Perhaps the boots would be the easiest place to start. Boots, then socks. Unlace the boots. He slowly untied the laces in his mind, pulling the ends through each of the eyelets-

"If you don't want to take off the boots, don't take off the fucking boots. I’m not wearing anything under the robe, I knew what we were doing here. Take off my robe and underwear. You can leave the gloves on."

"I can take off your fucking boots." Hux snapped back, irritated. He had seen naked men and women before, but never in an intimate context-

"You are a child." Kylo supplied helpfully, out loud.

This brought Hux up in anger, burning away his uncertainty. He threw off Kylo's robes, then stopped when he saw his underwear. It was... a kind of cloth, wrapped around his waist and through his legs, not doing much to conceal a considerable erection.

"What the fuck is this?" Hux asked, eyebrows creased, looking up at Kylo's face.

Kylo looked equally confused, and just as upset. "Underwear? What's the problem?"

"It’s a cloth wrapped around your dick, not underwear. I’ve never seen this before."

Hux could feel anger and embarrassment flood his system. He was getting frustrated with his lack of progress at this task, but he was pretty sure most of the anger and embarrassment were from Kylo. Rather than letting Kylo answer, he grabbed the front and jerked it, freeing Kylo's erection, but not understanding how the cloth was wrapped around Kylo's hips and buttocks. Kylo hissed, and Force-siezed his hands, showing him how to unwrap it.

Hux fell out of the mood slightly, fascinated with how the garment worked. He looked at the length of cloth, considering it.

Kylo grunted in anger, and jerked the cloth out of Hux's hands, then Force-jerked Hux’s hands down to his boots. Hux could also feel a Force-ripple along his own cock, and arousal flooded his system again. He yanked the laces and pulled off Kylo's boots, Kylo raising his feet from the floor to make the task easier. Then Hux rocked back on his heels into a crouching position on the bed, looking up at Kylo's face for orders. Having Kylo naked and erect in front of him bothered him less than he thought.

Kylo grinned wickedly, arousal plainly written on his face. He yanked the length of cloth that had been tied around his groin between his two hands, and used it to bind Hux's legs together and into the crouching position, the same one he had been locked in in the conference room the other day. Doing it physically made the action more intimate, and Hux wasn’t sure if this was more arousing or more uncomfortable. It was hard not to be aroused in this situation, so he settled on not thinking about it too much.

Kylo positioned himself and straddled his lap. When Hux began to balk, the lights went out, plunging them both into total darkness. Hux let out a breath, mentally conceding that this was better.

Gently, Kylo took Hux's hands and wrapped them around both their cocks, taking them away after Hux gripped both firmly. Hux paused for a moment, and Kylo's voice entered his mind.

_I'm close. It won't take more than a minute, and I don't think you'll last much longer._

Hux paused again, considering. It was true that he was so turned on he wouldn’t last much longer, though the new experience was throwing him and taking him out of the mood a bit. He wasn't sure how to process it-

_JUST FUCKING JERK. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT._

The command overrode Hux's reeling mental processes, and caused a spike of heat to go through his system in a way that not even controlling him with the Force could have done in this situation. Hux jerked. Neither one of them lasted long. Kylo did climax first, and of course the orgasm slammed into Hux and became longer, more intense, more prolonged as his own orgasm broke against the sensation.  Wave after wave rippled through his mind, and he wondered if it was the force of it rippling between the two of them, the Force, or if this was how it always felt. It was better than the first time. There was heat, and groaning, and Hux wasn't sure if the groaning was in his head, was Kylo in his head, or were one or the other out loud.

Kylo lost his balance in Hux's lap, and Hux fell backwards on the bed, with Kylo pinning Hux below him. Hux’s skin was hot and damp against Kylo, and there was come smeared all over both their hands and chests, which the fastidious part of Hux objected to, but the rest of him was too tired to do anything about.

Neither could move for a moment, but apparently Kylo gathered the mental faculties to Force-untie the band from around Hux's legs (they were aching, pinned below Kylo) and the cloth flew off somewhere in the darkness.

Kylo rolled off, Hux could feel his back against his side. Hux wasn't sure he could stand, or roll over, or do anything but lie on his back. He wasn't sure if his eyes were open or closed. He was gasping, sweating, and had semen slicking his chest that he wasn't sure was his or Kylo's. It didn't really matter.

His mind was purged again. He found he didn’t possess thoughts about what had happened, other than he had enjoyed it, needed it. He lay in the darkness, unsure if he was floating between wakefulness and sleep, or was just not thinking. He simply laid there, numb and exhausted and possibly content.

After a time that could have been thirty minutes or several hours, he could feel Kylo roll over to face him, could feel but not see his gaze on him. Could feel a prick of curiosity at the edges of his mind.

_Do you prefer men or women?_ Kylo asked. Hux felt contentment roll into his mind, realizing it was from Kylo. It relaxed him, although he wasn't sure he understood the question.

"To have sex with." Kylo elaborated out loud, dryly.

Hux thought about the question for a moment before Kylo broke in again.

_How do you not know?_

_I don't really understand-_

_It's not a hard question. Do you see men you want to have sex with? Women? Both?_

Hux was annoyed by the condescending tone. He thought about it harder, thinking back to the sparring matches he had in school. He had faced both men and women in them, so he supposed it was both.

He felt frustration that wasn't his own flood his mind. _No, the fighting turned you on, not the people. Who have you found attractive over the years?_

To annoy Kylo, he thought of a holo he had seen of Ben Solo when he was a kid, looking sulky.

He could feel Kylo pull out of his mind and roll over. He took the feeling of contented warmth with him, and Hux felt suddenly and irrationally lonely in his own head. He brushed the feeling away, and then decided to pull his thoughts to more practical matters. He began debating whether to shower in Kylo's room or to get dressed and go to his quarters. He wasn't sure he could quite stand yet, so a nap might be in order, too-

"I know you don't really think about other people, except in terms of what they can do, what kind of skills they have. I thought it might be an act, something you'd built up for yourself over the years. But it's just your personality."

Again, a statement. Hux didn't really have anything to add, wasn't sure where Kylo was going with this. He exhaled in amusement. "I've done plenty of things that make me a bad person, but I think you may be the only one who thinks it's because it doesn't occur to me to fuck people."

On the heels of that, it occurred to Hux that Kylo was a Sith lord. Weren't they sociopaths by nature? Did that mean that Kylo fucked less, or more? The speculations from earlier in the day came back to Hux.

"I prefer men," Kylo clarified aloud, still not facing Hux.

"Well... okay. That works out for me." Hux didn’t know what to say about the admission. He didn't really care who Kylo fucked, was more interested in how many.

Hux could feel Kylo pulling away from his mind again, hadn't noticed he'd crept back in. His annoyance spiked. "Either stay in there, or go, but stop fumbling around like a teenager. In fact, if we're going to continue this pillow talk, I think I'll shower and leave."

"Just you."

At this, Hux froze, with his stomach clenched and prepared to lever himself up off the bed. He did not want to hear this. He didn’t want any part of this. He considered skipping the shower and just throwing his uniform on-

"It's not like that. I told you, you're the only one who isn't scared of me. I'm not going to have sex with someone when all the mental feedback I'm getting from them is terror. That doesn't exactly lend itself to a good time."

Hux thought drily of the two times they'd been together.

"That's different. You're not actually afraid of me, and you like that I have power over you, that I'm forcing you to do humiliating things. You get off on that. I can feel it."

He balked again at the thought of the emotional symbiosis inherent in a sexual liason with a Sith, but Kylo helpfully supplied the memory of both of their double-orgasms.

"I didn't realize... you were taking something from me, too. That's... unintentional, but I suppose it works out in this case." Kylo added this, and sounded almost shy at the admission.

Despite the fact that he was uncomfortable with the unusually personal nature of the conversation, it helped that they were now talking about Kylo, and they’d established that Kylo didn’t have a schoolgirl crush on him. Hux relaxed back into the bed, calmer now. He supposed he was lucky. He felt the lightest twinge of happiness in the back of his mind, and was fairly sure it was from Kylo.

"I was attracted to you, from before. When we were working together on the _Finalizer_. You weren't afraid of me, the only one, and you're good-looking."

Hux worked this fact over in his head. He had never been called attractive before.

"You are. I'm not the only person who thinks that."

As Hux groped for mental clues, Kylo helpfully supplied a list of ten people from the _Finalizer_ and three from the _Pandora_. Hux recoiled slightly.

"You can pull that kind of information out of people's heads?"

"Don't act so offended."

"No wonder people are afraid of you."

"They can't tell I'm doing it. I'm not sure why you could tell, or how you knew to keep me out."

Hux frowned, still staring at the ceiling in the darkness. "How could they not? You weren't very good at groping around back then. It felt terrible to have you trying to get access to my head."

"You're the only one who's thought so. I know."

Hux sighed. Okay, whatever. So people found him attractive, including Kylo. Was this going someplace that wasn't going to send him from the room immediately?

"No, it's not like that, I told you. I just remembered you, and remembered you weren't afraid, and wondered what it would be like to have you in bed."

"Well, here we are. In bed. Having a fantastic time discussing our feelings."

"Look, this is coming out wrong," Kylo began. Hux felt the barest whisper of embarrassment at the back of his head. Hux began to get embarrassed for both of them.

"Look." Kylo said, more forcefully. "Where this is going... you have to accept that I'm sexually attracted to you. Obviously. I can pleasure you by thrashing you and tying you up and stripping you naked and having you beg in tears on the floor-"

_I would never beg in tears on the floor_ , Hux thought indignantly.

"We'll see," said Kylo, somewhat teasingly. "But you're going to have to accept that I also want to get off. You're going to have to look at me. You're going to have to touch my dick. You're disturbed by that now, but if we're going to continue, you have to not be. You have to accept that that's what it’s like to fuck."

Hux knew this, though thinking about it was getting him more annoyed, mostly at himself-

"I'm not going to force you into this. All of this has to be your own decision. I know you're not sexually attracted to me, you just like what I do to you. But know that the next time you come back, I'm going to take a more active part. We can go slowly. But I'm getting mine, and I don't want to make you do it if you're balking."

"I'm not... balking! I'm not scared of your fucking penis!" Hux burst out, growing more annoyed and a little angry. He sat up in bed and looked in the general direction he thought Kylo was in, though he couldn't see him through the complete darkness.

"Then why did I have to draw you a fucking diagram about what I wanted when I tied you up and climbed into your lap?"

"What part of this makes any sense?! What point of reference am I supposed to have for any of this? How was I supposed to know that you wanted me to jerk you off?"

"Because we were in bed together, and we both had an erection! In the future, your other options are sucking it or bending over so I can fuck you. There's your point of fucking reference."

"I don't know what you like! You're a fucking dark wizard! Do you even have sex? Aren't you supposed to have transcended... I don't know, feelings or whatever?"

"I'm not..." Kylo trailed off.

Where was that going? He wasn't a wizard? Didn't have sex? Wasn't celibate?

"My sex drive didn't die because I mastered the Dark Side! That's why I'm not a fucking Jedi!"

"Because you made a decision at the age of... what, twelve? Said, 'Fuck this, uncle, I'm killing all these children because I plan on getting laid later in life?'"

"I may be a Sith Lord, but I'm not a fucking monster like you. You don't even see the feelings of other people."

"Of course I see them! I see them all the time! Just because I don't want to have sex with them doesn't mean I'm a monster! I'm a monster because-"

Half a dozen reasons crowded Hux's mind. The planets. The soldiers he'd personally executed. All the First Order, New Republic, and Resistance soldiers that had died because he'd ordered military action. Even his newest-

He shut down that line of thought by reaching for Kylo's dick in the dark, locating it, and then putting his mouth on it. Kylo gasped, not expecting it, arousal flooding Hux's mind. Hux was somewhat impressed that it came back to Kylo that easily (something to file away for later reference).  The increasing anger and frustration he’d been having with this conversation and forced introspection had been seeding arousal in Hux’s mind already, but Kylo's arousal was beginning to turn him on in the worst way. He filed that away for later, too, an annoying but true fact.

Kylo’s dick was flaccid when Hux put it in his mouth, but it grew hard presently. It tasted salty, the semen residue still there from earlier. Hux licked the tip, and ran his tongue around on it. It felt good, and he could tell it felt good because Kylo was thinking it into his head as loud as he fucking could.

He ran his lips up and down the length, and got as much into his mouth as would fit. It was less than half of the length, and Kylo grabbed the back of his head and pushed further into Hux's mouth. Hux wasn't prepared for this, and began gagging on it.

"I'm sorry," Kylo said aloud, absurdly.

_Don't apologize when I'm giving you a blowjob_ , Hux thought in annoyance, his mouth currently occupied.

Hux soldiered on, attempting to half-swallow Kylo's cock. He couldn't quite manage it, wasn't sure how to get the full length in his mouth. He was pretty sure he was supposed to be able to. He sent out a mental query to Kylo.

"I-" Kylo was gasping. "It doesn't really matter, I'm about to come anyway-"

He did. Sucking Kylo's cock was, bizarrely, just as good as sucking his own cock. He would have thought harder about the implications of this had he not just then been struck by a secondhand orgasm, something else he’d have to think about later, because even after three times, it was still too good to be true.

He could tell how it felt from the thoughts Kylo couldn't help forcing into his head, and when Kylo came, Hux came as well, onto the sheets this time. He pulled his mouth off Kylo's cock just before, and caught the semen in his hand. He wasn't sure what to do with come in his mouth, or how he'd feel about Kylo squirting semen down his throat.

Kylo moaned, an errant spike of arousal coming through the mental link at Hux's thought of swallowing. The single orgasm wasn't quite as powerful as the double orgasm, though the whole mental link thing was still exhausting and overpowering, much like everything having to do with Kylo.

Hux's body was still shaking, and he didn't trust his limbs to bear his weight, to pull himself from his face-first position in Kylo's crotch. At the thought, Kylo Force-pulled him up the bed.

"That's annoying." Hux said out loud, dazedly, not sure if he meant it and too tired to be shocked by the sudden action. Waves of exhausting, contentment, happiness, wonder that he was experiencing this at all-

Kylo's thoughts. But they were comfortable, and Hux wrapped his mind around them as he fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

He woke up on his side, with Kylo at his back. Kylo’s face was pressed between his shoulder blades, and one arm was tossed over Hux's side. Hux shook slightly, suppressing a bark of laugher at the thought of spooning in bed with a Sith Lord.

_Go back to sleep_. Kylo spoke directly into Hux's mind, annoyed.

Hux was still drowsy.  He could go back to sleep, but he could also leave now and avoid a wake-up-in-someone-else's-bed ritual he didn't have the energy to contemplate right now.  He didn't know what time it was, and after consulting his mental and physical state, decided he was too tired to get up and check his PD, let alone leave.  But he was still mentally out-of-sorts, and felt like he needed to be doing something else. He ran through a mental checklist of things he had planned for the next day, which was mostly combat drills-

_They don’t want you there, breathing down their necks and criticizing every problem_ , Kylo provided helpfully. _If you're too tired to get up and check your messages, you should go back to sleep._

A persistent thought of needing to know what time it was stuck in Hux's mind-

_11:47 and 15 seconds exactly. Go back to fucking sleep._

At some point, a blanket had been tossed over the both of them. He was warm. Hux sighed, setting his paltry mental checklist aside. On the edge of sleep, he gripped Kylo's hand and brought it closer to him. He was too tired to register the spike of surprise at the action from Kylo.

***

He woke again later to dim lights, and a sensation of wrongness. He sat up and looked around, registering this wasn't his room (just barely - it looked like his room, and it took him a moment to determine what was wrong - the second stool) and panicking before he remembered he had slept with Kylo last night. After sucking his dick.

Hux collapsed back into the bed, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to dredge up an opinion on the matter. Found nothing. He could hear Kylo in the shower. He decided going about his day as usual was a good way to proceed. He sat back up and leaned over the edge of the bed to his pants, pulled out his PD, and checked his messages. Nothing important, and he still had a little time before the training exercises began.

Thinking about what to do next, Hux wasn't sure of the etiquette of the present situation. Did he wait for Kylo to finish in the shower, and just shower over here? Should he put on his clothes and go back to his room, shower there and exchange his uniform? Were he and Kylo going to walk arm and arm to the cafeteria and eat breakfast while beaming at each other?

_Wait_ , he heard in his mind. He panicked for a moment, thinking that Kylo might force them to go to breakfast together. _No_ , Kylo assured, annoyed.

Hux didn’t want to talk to Kylo naked, and he weighed his options. Staying in the bed, covered in come, with the sheets draped over him made his skin crawl. It was not how he wished to be seen, regardless of what they may have done together last night. So he pulled the sheets off and got out of the bed, still naked, still covered in dry, scaly patches. He needed more dignity than this to hold a conversation, so he looked at his discarded clothing, which Kylo had helpfully flung all over the room.

As Hux gathered up his clothes and considered dressing, the thought of putting his uniform back on while covered in crusted, dried semen also revolted him, and he realized he’d rather shower over here. But he still didn’t really want to be standing naked when Kylo came out of the shower. He grabbed his underwear from the floor, knowing it would save him some dignity, but it still didn’t feel like enough.

Glancing around, the other options were, of course, Kylo’s clothes. The only things Kylo had been wearing last night were his boots, his robe, and that ridiculous underwear. Part of him wanted to watch Kylo put the underwear back on, just for the satisfaction of seeing him going through the ritual, and to see him in the silly garment again.

_Fuck you_ , Kylo supplied helpfully in his mind.

_If you don’t like what I’m thinking, you can get out of my head._

_No. Fuck you._

_Impressive vocabulary and range of insults, Lord Caedus._

Resentment and anger curled through Hux’s mind, and he allowed himself a feeling of smugness before getting back to the task at hand. Which had become more annoying, knowing that Kylo was spying on his agony and indecision at such a simple thing. He felt the smugness again, not his this time, and angrily cast his gaze around the room.

His eyes landed on Kylo’s closet. He remembered, suddenly, that Kylo had had some new uniforms (specifically, Hux’s uniform) made, and the thought of putting on Kylo’s clean clothes while covered in human waste felt immensely right to him. But just then, he heard the shower turn off, and he knew he wouldn’t have enough time to go through the closet.

He quickly pulled on his underwear, and cast around desperately for something else to cover with, still unwilling to stand in the cold light of morning, so to speak, in just his underwear and his spent semen.

There was only his coat and Kylo’s robe, and he was definitely not going to dirty his coat. But he was torn. Was it worse to be naked, or to wear Kylo’s clothes? He really did not want either, considered throwing on his uniform pants again. When he heard footsteps, he grabbed the Sith robe instead, which was easier to put on. As the rough, tattered fabric settled over his shoulders and Hux sat on the edge of the bed, he registered the faint smell. It smelled strangely crisp and clean, like an electronics laboratory. It was… disconcerting. Before he had time to think about this, Kylo walked into the bedroom with a towel around his waist.

"Will you go on the mission?"

Hux, who had been staring at the towel and pondering whether it was for his sake or Kylo’s, looked up at Kylo’s face. He had forgotten about the droid mission, after Kylo had almost literally bent him over backwards when he found out Hux got aroused while fighting. It caught him off guard.

Uncharacteristically, Hux broke eye contact, his eyes darting over Kylo as he dropped them. He had not really looked at Kylo naked the night before. The scar cutting across Kylo’s face ran down his neck and over his shoulder, and he had several more lightsaber strike scars on his shoulders, across the back of his hands, one on his leg. The top of the large scar from the bowcaster, on the day that Hux pulled him from Starkiller, was just visible above the towel. The moles on his face peppered his pale skin all over. He had shaved, and his hair was hanging damply, pulled slightly longer and straighter than it normally was when it was dry. Kylo hadn’t done more than drag the towel over it so it didn’t drip.

Hux’s eyes fell to the floor again, and he hated himself for the indecision. It was unlike him. He needed to come up with an excuse. Anything. But, of course, Kylo knew what he was thinking, and he had Hux cornered.

Hux looked back up at Kylo’s face sullenly. Kylo rolled his eyes. As Kylo’s face had been covered for most of their acquaintance, Hux wasn’t used to his rage of expression. This gesture looked strangely wrong on such a dangerous person. Very juvenile.

"I'll be with you, if you're still scared people will judge you for getting an erection while fighting."

Hux dropped his eyes again. That was pretty much it. He didn't really have any other reason to reject it. It was dangerous, sure, but he had never really possessed a fear of death, and the thought of succeeding in this mission, of getting one over on the Resistance so personally, appealed to him.

But going with Kylo, with all the... new information, and he resented the fact that Kylo was implying he would _need him_ -

"We can still have sex when we're with the Resistance. Or not, as you prefer. I would like to, myself."

Hux locked his face into his usual impersonal mask and looked back up at Kylo.

"You'll just be some clone trooper. They'll care even less who you fuck than the crew of the _Pandora_ does."

Hux was on the verge of agreeing, when Kylo flickered, and his appearance shifted back into Hux, complete with fading necklace of purple bruises around his neck from that first day, the towel wrapped more loosely around slimmer, bonier hips. The nightmare flourish was that Kylo had duplicated what Hux assumed was his current hairstyle, which was more of a wreck than it usually was when he woke up. For obvious reasons. Hux hated that Kylo knew exactly what would humiliate him the most.

"They might be curious what it's like to have sex with yourself, wonder if it's like sleeping with your brother or something. I guess you'll have to answer those." He said it in Hux’s voice, with Hux’s accent.

Hux stood, furious, weighing his options, dragging his fingers through his wrecked hair.

A grin slid into place on his duplicate face, his duplicate blue eyes twinkling at him. "Go ahead. Run out into the hall wearing my clothes."

Hux's eyes darted to the shower, but stalking in and taking a shower, only to come out naked and put on his uniform from yesterday, wasn't nearly as satisfying.

"I don't understand why you're so hung up on the sex."

"It's… sex!  With you! The completion of your training obviously didn't make you more mature. Or… considerate." He was reaching, and it was obvious. Accusing someone of being inconsiderate sounded almost hilarious, coming from him.

_Your training obviously didn't make you considerate, either._

"Fuck you." Hux muttered, throwing off the robe in disgust and stepping into the bathroom.

_The mission_ , Kylo insisted inside his head.

"Yes, I'll do the fucking mission! Wait a fucking minute, and we'll set up how to do the defection." Hux yelled in from the bathroom.

Hux could feel a sense of smug self-satisfaction rolling in the back of his mind as he stepped out of his underwear.

Fucking asshole.


	8. Chapter 8

Hux stepped through the door of Kylo’s room at the completion of his shift. This had become a common part of his schedule the past several days - he ran training drills during his shift, then retired to Kylo’s room after, opting to stop and pick up food for both of them on the way. Of course Kylo didn’t keep any in his room, and never thought to have any there himself. Hux had been driven out of the room with hunger the second time he had been over.

He had an excuse prepared for why he was here, in case anyone noticed or asked. He and Kylo were planning their infiltration, and that was easy enough. Except they weren’t. Hux had come up with the details the first day, so really, they were just fucking. Hux knew this, but he couldn’t really stop himself.

Tonight they would probably get to it fairly quickly. Hux was sending Kylo away by himself on a shuttle the next morning. Kylo would round up the Stormtrooper unit necessary, and drill them on the details of the mission. He also wanted Kylo to perform general mind scans on the troop on that ship, something that he’d been obsessing about since one of his defected. He’d rather have Kylo do it on the _Finalizer_ , where the troops weren’t clones, but there wasn’t time (or, at least, Kylo had declined because it would take too long), and Hux had compromised with a report about the mental state of the clones on one of the other Star Destroyers, in addition to a full evaluation of the crew of the _Pandora_. Hux would join Kylo when he was finished wrapping up the drills on the _Pandora_. ETA to their infiltration was two weeks, and Hux was going to make sure they stayed separated for that time.

Because, really, he couldn’t have this.

Even though he wanted it.

Hux had never really _wanted_ in his life. He had goals that he worked towards, and he certainly wanted them to be successful. And there were small things. He frequently wished away obstacles, was hungry, all the normal things. But the sex had him distracted. He found himself thinking of it in the middle of the day. He had never had something quite like this, an activity he couldn’t set aside. He remembered, at inopportune times, the way he was pressed against the wall, how he was naked with Kylo’s gloved hands wrenching him down onto the bed, forcing his head to Kylo’s erection, where Hux had taken to eagerly swallowing in the hopes that Kylo would some day reciprocate. Kylo knew this, and part of Hux liked that Kylo didn’t do it, so he could look forward to it. Hux thinks Kylo knows this, too.

The thought of Kylo tying him up, the thought of Kylo stripping him, humiliating him, debasing him. Hux loved it. Hux loved surrendering like that. He had an organized mind, and thought he had valued control, but having it forcibly, noticeably, taken away was… the memories, the thought of it all day was ruining him.

He went to Kylo’s room every night without even bargaining with himself, without questioning or thinking about it. After he had slept over that first night, he had tried to ignore it, to set it aside, to tell himself he'd had enough. He had gone to his own room the next night, went about his usual schedule, practiced his sword, but was mostly just getting erect from the memories of what Kylo had done to him. The door had flown open. Kylo had told him he wasn’t to touch himself without his permission, and if he wanted permission, he was going to have to come to Kylo’s room.

And the door had slammed closed. And it wasn’t the thought of Kylo opening the door without security clearance, it wasn’t the annoying command, it wasn’t any of the things that he would have normally thought of that had set him off.

It was the thought of Kylo knowing he was wanting to masturbate, and not letting him. The thought of what Kylo might do if he did touch himself. This almost made him drop his pants and jerk off in the middle of his room. But he knew Kylo wanted to know that Hux wanted it, so he had gone to Kylo’s room and done it there.

Kylo had followed through with his threat.

What was the point in pretending? Hux wanted this so badly that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He might as well have it. He would send Kylo away, and he was fairly sure the wanting would fade when he wasn’t nearby. The mission would provide a good goal, something that he could think about, something he could challenge himself with. He wouldn’t have to do this anymore.

He couldn’t have a distraction. He couldn’t be thinking of something so personal, when what he should be thinking about was how many First Order pilots would survive the attack on the Farr convoy. If he made tactical mistakes because he was thinking of his hair being yanked back and of Kylo tying his wrists behind his back with his belt, if experienced pilots died because his mind was elsewhere, they were almost irreplaceable with their current resources.

Really, this was setting the First Order back. So he couldn’t have it. Even though he wanted it.

He wanted it a lot.

So here he was. For the last time. Because he wasn’t his brother, and he could stop whenever he wanted.

Hux went over to Kylo’s counter and deposited the two covered trays. He glanced over at Kylo, who was kneeling on the floor next to his bed, his back against the wall, his eyes closed and his hands in his lap. He had mostly been wearing Hux’s First Order uniform around the ship, which was irritating, but Hux supposed there was some logic in it. Kylo didn’t technically have a rank, but if he did, it would be above Hux, so the uniform was probably fine.

Hux had caught Kylo in the middle of some sort of meditation one other time. Hux wasn’t sure what all was involved in… balancing one’s magical powers, or whatever, but he figured he could leave Kylo to it. He grabbed the top tray, removed the lid, rummaged through Kylo’s drawers for a fork, and sat down on one of the stools. Kylo had two, probably because he hadn’t bothered to remove one, as Hux had.

Hux stared at Kylo as he took his first few bites of food, not tasting it. Slowly, Kylo opened his eyes.

“I can feel your dirty thoughts across the ship.”

“What are you doing?” Hux decided to ignore the comment.

“Meditating. You’re distracting me.”

“If you can hear me across the ship, than you need to get out of my head.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then you’re not going to be able to meditate on the ship.”

Kylo shrugged, standing and stretching. The buttons of the uniform jacket strained as Kylo closed his eyes and yawned. Hux followed him with his eyes until he reached the counter and Force-pulled the fork from his hand.

Hux frowned. “Don’t be lazy.”

“You wouldn’t believe how much concentration that takes.”

Hux didn't dignify that with a response, furiously digging the other fork out of the drawer.

The two ate in silence. Kylo’s eyes were on his food, Hux’s were on Kylo. Kylo could start at any time. Hux was never sure what to prepare himself for. Yesterday, Kylo had physically slapped the fork out of his hand, shoved him to the floor, and driven the fork through the collar of Hux’s uniform jacket. He had then slowly undressed Hux, binding his legs with Hux’s belt, then thrown him over his shoulder and thrown him on the bed. There had been some theatrics, Kylo ordering Hux to tear his uniform off, then tear Kylo’s uniform off.

“Liked that, did you?”

Hux didn’t answer, because of course he had, and Kylo could read his mind.

Before Hux could continue eating his meal, Kylo slapped his fork out of his hand again. Hux froze, not looking at Kylo. Kylo grabbed his chin in his gloved hand and dragged Hux’s face closer to his own.

Kylo’s eyes narrowed. “Do you think I don’t know why you ordered me away tomorrow?”

Hux’s eyes met Kylo’s dark eyes unflinchingly. Hux wasn’t sure where this was going, knew that Kylo had the truth already.

Kylo let go of Hux’s chin, but didn’t break eye contact. “Strip, Commander General.”

Hux stripped down quickly, standing at attention completely naked on the kitchen side of the counter. Kylo had stopped eating, and was quietly staring. He looked Hux up and down, then looked back over at his food.

“Are you hungry?”

Hux wasn’t sure what Kylo wanted to hear, took a moment to answer, looked down at the tile in the kitchen. They had worked out a system where Kylo had to tell him what he wanted, because Hux was apparently miserable at guessing or imagining.

_Yes._

“Yes.” Hux looked back up at Kylo as he said it clearly.

“Kneel. Right here.” Kylo pointed. Hux kneeled. The stool wasn’t tall, and his head was eye level with Kylo’s crotch when he sat up on his knees. The floor was cold, and the hardness of the tile pressed into his knees. He leveled his gaze at Kylo’s crotch, not looking up.

“Remove my glove.” Kylo had put his hand in front of Hux’s face. Hux reached up with both his hands to grab Kylo’s wrist, but Kylo’s hand grabbed the hair at the back of his neck and yanked his head back, so Hux was looking up into Kylo’s impassive face.

“With your mouth.”

His hand returned to Hux’s face. Hux closed his eyes and grabbed the tip of the middle finger with his teeth, and pulled back with his neck and head. Kylo’s glove slid slowly off, with some resistance. Hux dropped it on the floor, leveled his gaze back at Kylo’s hand.

Kylo pulled his hand back up to the countertop. He gripped Hux’s jaw with his other gloved hand, forcing his jaws apart painfully. Hux opened his mouth, and with his bare hand, Kylo placed a mouthful of the rice mixture into Hux’s mouth.

Hux closed his lips around Kylo’s fingers, pulling the rice grains and vegetables off. He chewed a few times and swallowed, Kylo’s grip around his jaw slackening to allow him to do this. But it tightened again. This time, there was less food on his fingers, and Kylo held his hand away, so Hux had to lick it off with his tongue.

Kylo did this several more times, sometimes with Hux licking his fingers, sometimes with Kylo running his fingers around Hux’s mouth, over his tongue, between his cheek and teeth, over his lips. Hux closed his eyes and let him.

The debasement, the ache at his jaw, even the slightly off-putting mixture of food and saliva into the sexual play was all turning Hux on, as only Kylo knew how to do. It was slower, tonight, which Hux also appreciated. He wanted it to last longer.

When Kylo stopped feeding him, Hux looked up, fully expecting Kylo to ask him for his mouth. Instead, Kylo looked down at him thoughtfully. Hux ran his eyes across the scar splitting his face, rather than meet his eyes, just now, because he was getting excited and it was starting to make him dizzy.

Unexpectedly, Kylo grabbed him physically, threw him over his shoulder, and strode the few paces across the room to the large bed. Kylo threw Hux roughly to the mattress, and Hux gripped the sheets in his fists, looking up at Kylo, waiting for the punishment to begin.  Kylo studied him while he removed his pants and boots, his face impassive, that slightly dull, stupid look on his face that Hux took for his blank expression.

Kylo crawled onto the bed, straddling Hux’s waist. The lights went out, unexpectedly, and the room was plunged into complete darkness. He felt Kylo’s weight shifting on the bed, felt him settling back for a moment. Then he leaned forward, and two bare hands began caressing Hux’s sides. Hux felt Kylo bend forward more, pressing his bare chest to Hux’s.

He could feel Kylo’s face very close to his own, his breath against Hux’s neck, which alarmed Hux. Hux didn’t want this, began squirming, thought about protesting until Kylo lifted, braced himself against his hands and shifted his knees forward, his calloused hands brushing over Hux’s chest, caressing his stomach, moving down to his thighs. Hux calmed down, feeling more comfortable in semi-familiar territory.

The unexpected roughness of Kylo’s hands tickled against his skin, and Hux was tingling with anticipation, waiting for the gentle caress to turn into a slap, to grab him and wrench, for the Force to flip him over, bind his arms behind his back. Hux shivered.

Kylo shifted, leaning his weight against his arm, bringing his palm up to press into the bottom of Hux’s ribcage. His mouth came close to Hux’s face again, and Kylo took his ear between his teeth, blowing a noisy breath against it that made Hux tense his jaw against a moan.

Kylo bit hard, but not hard enough to break the skin. Released the ear. Began trailing his teeth down Hux’s neck, breathing warm, moist breath against Hux’s skin. Neck, to collarbone, down to a nipple, that he teased between his teeth.

Hux was driven out of his mind by the sensation, the waiting for Kylo to bite. His hand roamed down Hux’s leg, squeezed his thigh, trailed his rough fingers along the soft skin between his legs. He should have been alarmed, thought about putting a stop to this, rolling over, he hated the soft caress-

Just then, Kylo bit hard into his bicep. Hux moaned aloud as Kylo ran his tongue around the bite, drawing the skin into his mouth again and sucking.

_Do you hate it so much?_ A timid voice asked into Hux’s mind.

Had Hux not been trembling on the brink of his physical limit, had he been more in control of his mental faculties, he would have denied it, would rather be dead than discussing his preferences, let alone for something he didn’t even want to think about-

_No._

Because Hux hated lying, really, when he didn’t have to.  And there was no point in lying to Kylo.

He could feel Kylo exhale against his skin in the ghost of a laugh. Hux lifted his head, staring in the general direction of where Kylo had worked his way down to his hips. Kylo felt the lift and sunk his teeth in again, and Hux moaned. But it still didn’t cover Hux’s irritation at the laugh. He didn’t want to be some fucking joke, a conquest that Kylo left and bragged about.

Before Hux could get any more upset, Kylo sat up, running both his hands down Hux’s legs, squeezing his feet, running his fingers along the soles. He picked one up and bent it at the knee, and stroked his tongue down Hux’s arch. Hux twisted in his grip, trying to pull away. He… wanted it to last longer tonight-

Kylo pulled him gently down the bed. He felt Kylo bend over, with his mouth just above Hux’s throbbing erection. Hux tensed, wanted Kylo’s mouth, would do anything, kill anyone, just to have that, and the release it offered in this moment.

Kylo exhaled a warm breath, and Hux could feel opening his mouth, leaning forward, the sensation of his penis millimeters from Kylo’s tongue, his teeth, the roof of his mouth-

Kylo pulled Hux forward suddenly, into his lap. Hux moaned in frustration, before Kylo grabbed his hand, running his thumb along the callouses of Hux’s hand. He put Hux’s hand on his own penis, which was just as hard as Hux’s, and dripping. Kylo grabbed Hux with one hand, and put his arm around Hux’s neck with the other, bringing his forehead to rest against Hux’s shoulder. Hux’s legs were splayed out to either side of Kylo’s waist, his ass resting on top of Kylo’s thighs.  Hux didn't know how Kylo could stand having his legs underneath him like this, and was somehow able to remember that Kylo meditated like this, so perhaps he was used to it.  Then Hux could spare no further thought for practicalities.

Without instruction, Hux began jerking Kylo, and Kylo returned the favor. His breath came in rough gasps against Hux’s chest, and Hux could feel him perspire against his skin, could feel his own sweat running down the back of his neck.

They came together, exactly, and the force of the orgasm was once again nearly too much for Hux. It had never been slow, or gentle before, and Hux had been driven nearly insane with the waiting. When it finally crested, he feared for a moment his mind had broken, wondered if his vision would be affected, but he couldn’t tell in the dark. There was a noise, and again, he couldn’t determine if it was in his head or in the room, himself or Kylo in either case.

Moments or hours passed, and his hand was still around Kylo’s softening dick. He wasn’t sure what to do, whether he should move, collapse backwards or forwards. He was still held in place by Kylo, who had bitten the base of his neck and collarbone hard enough to draw blood, that Hux could feel running down his shoulder. As he thought about the blood on his skin, Kylo raised his face up and licked it, and Hux shivered.

“Don’t.”

Kylo’s mouth stilled against his skin. “Don’t what?”

Hux was silent. Again, the truth defeated him.

Kylo exhaled again, in an almost-laugh, against Hux’s dampened skin. Hux pulled away, laying back on the bed, facing the ceiling.  He could feel Kylo lying down close next to him, on his side.

“What’s so funny?” Hux insisted.  He couldn’t see Kylo’s face in the dark, hated being exposed like this suddenly.

“Your… honesty. It’s unexpected.”

Hux deflated. “There’s not really a point to lying, is there?”

_Then tell me you liked this better than being beaten and humiliated._

Hux recoiled. Groped mentally for a conversation hold.  He hadn't liked it better, but he hadn't exactly disliked it, either.

“It was time to try something new. A different approach was needed. It was getting boring with the same thing every time.”

Kylo was silent. “’It was getting boring.’ Really. Then why are you here?”

_You were just congratulating yourself for not lying._

“No!” Hux shouted, sitting up. “I was… thinking about trying some of the... humiliation tactics on you.”

“Before just now?” Kylo asked drily.

Hux was growing annoyed, decided to ignore that. “Turn up the lights so I can see.”

Kylo did, and Hux saw that he was propped up on one arm, with an incredulous look on his face. “What makes you think I get off on being tied up?”

“You’re the one that thought of it!”

Kylo squinted, looked at the wall, looked back at Hux. “I just wanted to see what you’d do. It seemed like the most humiliating thing at the time. I wanted to see if I could scare you.”

“It didn’t work.”

“No, it worked.”

“I wasn’t scared.”

“You’re scared now.”

“I’m not fucking scared of you.”

_Then why are you sending me away early?_

It was like being punched. Hux stared in astonishment at Kylo. “Not because I’m scared of you.”

Kylo squinted again. “You believe that’s true.”

“There’s nothing to disbelieve! I’m not… I’m not sending you away. We are doing a mission, and you need to set it up. It’s your mission. You’re going to need to help with some of the logistics. I’ve got my own mission here to wrap up before we get started.”

“I told you, I’ve met a clone trooper before, and they’re all the same. They don’t have thoughts of non-conformity. I do not need to go to a different Destroyer and scan 100,000 of them. I’m telling you now: they are all loyal. We made them that way.”

“My mind would rest easier knowing you saw to this task.”

“Your mind is troubled by very little.”

“This is different.”

Kylo rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling. “Fuck, you’re annoying! I don’t really want to go and do some bullshit busywork. I want to stay here. What are you going to do about it?”

Hux turned and gave him a cold stare. “Are you disobeying a direct order?”

Kylo turned and scowled at him. “I don’t take orders from you. But yes. Why?  Are you going to punish me, Commander General?”

Hux narrowed his eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re being insolent or are trying some sort of sex thing, Lord Caedus.”

Kylo rolled over and put out the lights again. “I don’t know why I’m wasting my time with you.”

Hux stared into the dark in Kylo’s general direction. Weighed his options. He couldn’t tell if Kylo was in his head or not, and hated that Kylo probably already knew all this. But Hux had a strange impulse to say it all out loud, because Kylo was… worth placating, he supposed.

“I like this too much. It’s distracting. I need to know that I can stop anytime I want.” This was actually less humiliating than he thought to admit out loud. Of course he liked it. Why else would he come by every night?

“How flattering. It sounds like you should do it more. Then you won’t have to think about it, because you’ll know it’s coming.”

Hux was silent for a moment. “That doesn’t make any sense. We’ve been doing it every day.”

“I like it. You like it. You’re still getting work done. Is it a bad thing?”

“You told me earlier you can’t meditate anymore.”

He heard Kylo laughing softly in the dark. “Don’t worry about me. The reason I can’t meditate is that I’m not focused on a task. Or rather, I am, and the task is getting you to suck my dick. That’s going well, so I don’t really need to meditate, or use a lot of power for that.”

Hux was silent again, taking that in. “How nice for you. I’m having trouble not thinking about it during the day. I need to not think about it and focus for a bit.”

He could hear Kylo roll over. “You’re having trouble focusing because you’re bored of running drills. You’ve been drifting around for two years trying to pretend to be important, and having the other Generals not listen to you. Do you think I didn’t notice that you started wearing your rank insignia again? You never had to remind people who you were when you were setting up Starkiller. You didn’t care, because you had something to do. You need distance from your own fucking life. Try something new.”

Hux laid back down. Fucking mind readers. “Is this mission supposed to be some sort of epiphany? Is having two ancient resistance droids going to give me a new life direction?”

“Leia Organa tells all her plans to one, Luke Skywalker to the other. They’ll be able to lead you straight to both of them, if we can get them.”

Hux snorted. “This still seems too good to be true. I’m not sure how you talked me into this outrageous idea, where we can steal the personal droids of two of the strongest Force-sensitive people in the galaxy. Your closest relatives, who will probably recognize you.”

“I have nothing to do with them. They won’t recognize me.”

“I know this is a fantasy of yours, that you’ve somehow killed the person you used to be. There’s only the one of you. Ask your relatives.”

_SHUT UP_. This command was shouted into Hux’s mind, rattling him badly. He reeled for a moment, felt Kylo roll across the bed and draw him closer. “I wasn’t talking about that, anyway. I meant me. You’re trying something new. Sucking my dick.”

“How fucking charming.” Hux tried to pull away. Kylo held him close.

_Don’t go anywhere. I’ll leave in the morning._

“Really? You’ll follow my order?” Hux had brightened at the promise.

_I don’t think me following orders gets you off in the same way as you following mine, but I know it’s pretty fucking close. Yes, I’ll leave in the morning and do your bullshit busy work. I hate you. You’re literally the only person in the galaxy I’d take this shit from._ Hux could feel Kylo’s annoyance rolling through his mind.

“What an honor. I’ll remember that.” Hux tried to sound sarcastic, but was already thinking about how useful Kylo’s power, directed, would be.

_I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying._

“You’re not saying anything.”

Kylo bit his ear. _Shut the fuck up, you’re making me angry._

Hux could feel this was true, although he had never been intimidated by Kylo’s anger, and certainly wasn’t now, while they were both lying naked in bed together, with Hux shivering from Kylo biting his ear. Kylo continued.

_I’ll do what you say, but only because you’re scared. Promise me I can tie you up again if I let you miss me for awhile._

“I’m not going to fucking miss you!” Now Hux was the one getting angry.

_Tell me you’ll think about it. Or I’ll stay here and make you think about it in close proximity._

Hux squeezed his eyes shut. Of course he was going to fucking think about it. That’s why he was sending this asshole away in the first place. He hoped he thought about the sex, then forgot it promptly.

_That’s good enough for me._

With a teasing tone, Kylo prodded further. “At least you let me touch you all over. It makes my General disguise that much more convincing.”

This was a fairly obnoxious statement, but Hux couldn’t resist the bait. “What do you mean?”

“That’s the way the illusion works. It’s just a Force mind trick, I tell people it’s your face instead of mine. It’s hard to do… I’m not putting it directly in their minds, because it wouldn’t work if we were in a group of people. It’s something they have to look at me and see. It’s… something I figured out for myself. It works with the crew of your ship, I think, so I think I can keep it up longer, and with more people. But it’s hard.”

Hux tried to pull away, got angry. “We’re going on a mission where our safety is being guarded by your _experiment_?”

“No, that part is fine. Before I had only seen your face and hair, so that was all I could show people. Now I can picture you naked when I do it, so not only is the illusion more accurate, it’s easier to do if I can think about you naked while I do it.”

Hux frowned, trying to decide if this should make him angry. “Why does picturing me naked make it easier? Wouldn’t that split your attention and distract you?”

Kylo hummed. “Passion is one of the foundations of control of the Dark side.”

“Passion.” Hux said flatly. He didn’t like where this was going.

“If you don’t like it, then just think about it being for the mission.”

Hux thought about this. “Well, then it was for the mission.”

Kylo laughed aloud, fully, not like the little half-laughs he'd been doing all night. It sounded wrong to Hux, much like seeing the childish expressions on his face had. Someone so dangerous shouldn’t be able to laugh so freely.

Hux also didn’t like his confidence. The thought of continuing any sort of intimacy with Kylo made his stomach clench, made him shift under the blankets in unease. He heard Kylo exhale again in an almost-laugh. He thought about getting his clothes on and leaving, rather than have his thoughts scrutinized. But he was so tired, and he had decided that this really was the last time.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo stood with Hux, mostly wondering if he could stay calm enough to keep his Hux mind trick in place. He had never done it in front of more than a few people, and was somewhat afraid to practice it before the actual mission, some (small) part of him wanting to please Hux, who would have been upset if Kylo had impersonated him elsewhere. Kylo wasn’t sure that he could imitate Hux’s personality unless he was in Hux’s mind to consult, either.

And also, he would prefer to antagonize Hux to his face, otherwise there was no point. That was the part that didn’t want to please Hux.

Another part, the part that was a little bit afraid of Hux, didn’t tell Hux he wasn’t confident about the disguise mind trick. Hux didn’t need to worry about that, Kylo did.

As far as he could tell, they looked identical in the tight-fitting black pants and shirts that were standard issue for Stormtroopers. They also wore matching blaster belts, and both were leaning out of the bay door of the shuttle they had taken to the surface of Ki-Yaran. Hux was watching the Stormtrooper squadron run through the cover of dense but fragrant pine forest. The planet was wretchedly humid and gray, and sweat was already running down Kylo’s neck and soaking the uniform elsewhere, causing it to chafe uncomfortably. Kylo wasn’t really interested in this portion of the plan, so he helped himself to what Hux was thinking.

Unsurprisingly, Hux was completely calm and confident (not even sweating, the bastard). He had no doubts that the Stormtroopers would succeed since, according to First Order intelligence, the Resistance recruits would be unarmed. Hux ran through a worst-case scenario of all the troops being killed if the recruits were armed, and dismissed concerns. That was unlikely, though it would be bad for them. Hux had issued strict orders that any First Order casualties needed to be taken off the field, since it wouldn't look good if they explained they were part of a clone Hux army and came from a ship full of standard clones. But even with a few or twenty dead Mandalorians, Hux was fairly certain they'd still buy it. The only other explanation was that Commander General Hux had run into the arms of the Resistance under a thin cover story, along with someone who looked exactly like him. What they were doing was so far outside the realm of possibility that the Resistance wouldn't believe the truth if they told them.

Kylo was a little dumbfounded at Hux's confidence. He was right, of course, they would never suspect it was actually him. But few people would dare do this, have the confidence to pull it off, and be completely emotionally unaffected by it. Hux was. He wasn't worried at all. Digging deeper, Kylo found that the only thing Hux had any remote doubt about was their escape, but it was only a vague worry. He was confident in his ability to come up with a good plan when the circumstances made themselves known. Kylo was also relieved that it hadn’t occurred to Hux to question Kylo’s ability to maintain the mind trick.

Kylo allowed himself the luxury of wallowing in Hux's confidence. This mission did scare Kylo, though he would never admit that to Hux. Anybody but Hux would be at least a little frightened of doing this, of such a deception when the enemy knew both their faces. If Kylo lost concentration and his grip on his Hux disguise, the game would be up. Meditation hadn't rid him of his fear, though it never had been good for that. That it took relatively little concentration to hold the disguise in place was comforting, but his mind kept providing worst-case scenarios where either he or Hux was injured, and Kylo was fairly sure the disguise would fail him then.

He tried not to think about all the ways one or the other of them could injure themselves, how likely it was to happen. But he decided that he wasn’t going to worry about that right now. Or ever. Until it happened. But dismissing thoughts had never worked as well for him as it apparently did for Hux.

Kylo had sought out a vision of the future to try and comfort himself, to calm his mind aboard the _Endurance_ while he was waiting for Hux. The only visions he had received were about having sex with Hux, which weren't useful, but Kylo masturbated furiously to them anyway. There was a lesson in there about worldly attachment weakening his powers, but plowing Hux sometime in the near future was probably worth the sacrifice.

He tried to stop thinking about that too, since he didn't want his lust to bleed over and distract (anger) Hux. He definitely wasn’t as good as Hux at setting aside unwanted thoughts.  Trying to do it now was only making him think about them more, and turning him on. Not good, in these tight-fitting pants. Before he worried that Hux really would be able to tell, blaster fire started in the distance, and the two of them crept off the ship and across the sparse grass and soft soil into the towering, dim forest.

They heard the sounds of the fight from a distance, though it took them several minutes to work their way through the forest up to the clearing where the Resistance recruits were. They watched the fight taking place on what appeared to be a remote landing strip in an area that had been recently cleared. It was incredibly one-sided, and ended with the 70-member Resistance force on the ground and all the Stormtroopers retreating unharmed through the trees, standing out boldly in the dark. Kylo watched them briefly in annoyance, wondering who had designed their armor and how the Empire had ever conquered anything.

Then his head jerked back around to the field, his jaw clenching involuntarily. Kylo felt the emotional residue of the battle, the Resistance’s complete horror and shock at the attack, hit him like a wave. It unsteadied him, and he lost his grip on his Hux illusion. He took a few breaths, closing his eyes and concentrating, steadying himself amid the chaos of the dead and dying. He could control such emotional fallout. He was Sith. He was Master. He breathed out, and regained his control of the illusion, pushing the cacophony of the death of innocents to the back of his mind. Hux hadn’t turned around, hadn’t noticed his loss of control. Good. Kylo opened his eyes and looked out over the field again.

There were bodies everywhere. The Troopers had massacred them. There was never very much blood, but still, heads had been blown apart, luggage had split open and clothing was stirring in the slight breeze that wasn’t nearly enough to dissipate the oppressive humidity. Limbs were tangled up, people were face-down in the dirt. He had seen this before, though he’d never had to wade into it after the fact like this.

When the First Order was gone, Hux broke cover and ran over to the bodies, feigning distress.

Actually feigning distress.

Kylo stared in disbelief as Hux… emoted. Perfectly. His body language. His facial expressions. He was even mumbling under his breath. It sounded like concern. Kylo tried to remember when he had seen more than two facial expressions on Hux. Not even while he was tied up. Hux only ever looked angry or arrogantly bored. The person Kylo trailed after was a stranger, as much a stranger with Hux’s face as Kylo currently was.

Hux checked several people who were obviously dead, shot in the chest or through the head, while acting anxious, scared, sick. Rubbing his face, running his fingers through his hair, darting his eyes around, mumbling… was that actually… comfort? What the fuck was coming out of Hux’s mouth?

Kylo scanned his thoughts, and found the most relevant feedback was a string of curses and threats directed at the clones if there were no surviving Resistance members in this group. That made Kylo feel somewhat better, but he was still upset. He thought about asking Hux. Hux would be angry, and distracted, and it really didn’t matter because this was good, right? It was good that Hux could do this.

Not really.

_What are you doing?_

Hux jumped, dropping the arm of the corpse he had been mumbling over. He looked over his shoulder at Kylo, annoyed, his face folding into his usual arrogant expression briefly before he turned back and stood, trotting over to another body and going through frantic motions.

_What do you think I’m doing? I’m looking for a survivor that will take us to the base._

_That’s not what I mean._

He could feel Hux grit his teeth and flex his jaw muscles, could see him turn a bit too quickly and tightly to the next person, laying close enough that Hux didn’t need to stand to reach them.

 _May I remind you that_ you _are reading_ my _mind, not the other way around. Say what you mean, if you need to interrupt me like this. It has better be fucking important._

Kylo looked up, across the field of dead, back down to Hux. He wasn’t sure how to articulate what was wrong.

_You’re acting. When did you learn to act like that?_

He could feel Hux growing impatient. _I told you before, I watch people. We’ve established you don’t. But you’d better fucking watch people now, because we need to find someone alive._

Kylo wasn’t quite satisfied with this, since it still didn’t translate into Hux. But he was still Hux inside his head, so Kylo focused on his thoughts, which were still very much his.

Kylo followed him around silently. Hux was, unbelievably, an accomplished actor, but Kylo was bad at pretending and feigning interest in people he didn’t care about. He didn't see the point.

Part of him wondered how Hux would react if he suddenly started in on the concerned soldier routine, but he knew Hux wouldn’t notice, or care. If he did, it would only be because Kylo was aiding the mission. Which was bullshit, because it was Kylo’s mission anyway, but this was why he had decided to bring Hux in the first place, before he’d found out Hux was practically begging Kylo to fuck him. 

Or at least fuck with him.  The thought still made Kylo's feelings lift to the sky every time he thought about it.  It had been a long time since he'd felt good about anything, and he still couldn't believe his luck, that he might be allowed to have something he wanted so badly, that he wouldn't have to deny himself.  Anyway. Kylo had had a lot of fun fucking with Hux, but the actual fucking was coming later. He would trust in the Force, that it had shown him a true vision of the future.

Eventually, Hux found a survivor, someone who had been shot in the shoulder. It was a terrible wound, and this person would likely lose their arm if they didn't get help immediately, but Kylo thought they would live.

"I can help you!" Hux pushed out in a panic, pulling the fabric of the woman's clothing away from the burned, mangled flesh of the blaster impact wound. Hux put pressure on it, then took his hands away to pull with trembling hands at the bottom of her shirt, trying to tear a strip of fabric to bind the wound.

Very convincing. It looked exactly liked he cared. Kylo had no illusions about how Hux would have reacted had it been him on the ground.

But then he recalled an example of when it had been him on the ground. In the snow. Wounded, with a blaster wound bleeding freely from his side and a lightsaber burn across his face and shoulder, just missing his eye. Kylo closed his eyes, letting his mind move inward as Hux continued to put on an act that wasn't himself and save people Kylo didn't care about.

In his mind, the planet was collapsing around him, and he had resigned himself to die, beaten so thoroughly by an amateur, his newfound grip on the Dark Side compromised by his shame in his defeat.

Hux had come through the snow then. Looked down at him impassively. Kylo couldn’t believe that Hux had come for him.

Despite the fact Hux hated the thought of Kylo having feelings for him, and finding him attractive, Kylo did.  He thought about it a lot.  Obsessively.  These feelings had dominated his mind while stationed on the _Finalizer_.  He didn't really want them, since he had hated Hux, but being in his company had never not been thrilling.  Hux was not only unafraid of Kylo, he was also the only person who saw him as an equal, a coworker with a special skill set.  Not a monster, or a tool to be used, not someone to be manipulated.  Hux saw that there was a person to talk to, even though he didn't particularly like that person.

That Kylo could be attracted to someone simply because they were the only one who treated him like a real person was something he didn't want to think about.  It was weakness, and just... really fucking pathetic.  He wasn't an equal or a regular person, he was Sith, he was power, and people should rightly be afraid of him.  But that didn't help dissuade him from constantly fantasizing about a relationship with Hux during his many sleepless nights on board the _Finalizer_.  What did help was that he knew it would never be a reality.  Having anything other than a work-related conversation with Hux wasn't going to happen, since it wasn't in either of their natures, and Kylo didn't even know how to start such things, subtly or otherwise.

Part of Kylo cried out that it was dangerous to find someone who saw the monster in Kylo and thought nothing of it.  What must it say about Hux, if he really saw an equal there?  But Kylo wasn't truly bothered by this.  He knew that about Hux.  It was exactly what he deserved.  What he wanted.

It meant everything to him that Hux had come on that day, in the snow on Starkiller Base.

It meant a little less when Hux furiously spat out that he had been sent to retrieve Kylo, but still, Kylo had mostly dismissed this. His will to live came back to him as Hux field-dressed his wounds and he pretended to be too weak to walk, so Hux had to carry him. He had suspected Hux was strong enough to do it. He had been right. The complete elation had only caused his grip on the Dark Side to get stronger, emotion always lending itself well to his own grip on the Force.

All of it had been worth it, for that single moment. It was one of the best memories Kylo had, despite the knowledge he had been weak enough to want to give up his life.

But now wasn’t the time for that. He pulled himself away from the memory, feeling the Force surge around him as he relinquished his grip on his feelings from back then. He brought his mind back to the situation at hand.

"I... I need to call for help!" Hux said, looking around. "Do you... have a radio or something? Someone I can call? I can't tell if anyone heard what happened?"

Hux had yelled this, likely out of impatience to bring the girl to consciousness.  The girl opened her eyes and looked at Hux. She was wearing a grey jumpsuit that matched everyone else’s attire, but she had a very innocent, round face, brown hair that looked like it curled around her jaw. Her eyes darted quickly to Kylo, then back to Hux. "What happened? We were... we were waiting, and... I don't know why the Stormtroopers-" she cut off, wincing in pain as Hux bound her shoulder.

Hux's voice shook. "The Stormtroopers knew you'd be here today. They knew... you wouldn't be well-guarded."

The girl closed her eyes and laughed weakly. "I was excited to fight the First Order. I didn't think... they slaughtered like this..."

"They do!" Hux forced out, with emotion. He turned to Kylo. "Can you... do you think you could find a radio, or something? Get help. I know this... this is really hard. Are you going to be okay?"

 _You look pissed off, you fucking idiot. Do something about your facial expression. Scan for survivors. See if you can get a leader or something here._ Hux was trying to project his thoughts, hoping Kylo was still in his head. He was.

Kylo stood, unsure what to do, and Hux spoke again, to Kylo in his head. _Shake your fucking head and say I don't know. Then use the Force or whatever the fuck it is you do well, and get someone in charge here._

Hux was getting angry, although it was superficial. There wasn't really anything Kylo could do to compromise this part, save for dropping his Hux-face and announcing himself as a Sith Lord and using the Force to wreck things. Kylo sensed this thought and almost smiled, though he caught himself and shook his head.

"I... I don't know. I'll see if I can call for help."

Kylo jogged away, looking lost. He knelt down next to a body, grabbing its hand, using the action to cover his mental scan of the area.

There were only five survivors, which was probably less than Hux was hoping for. He told Hux this, and Hux cursed, his mental process suggesting that the Resistance might have been more accepting of the two of them if their unit hadn't just murdered 65 people, but weighing that against not killing everyone, for some reason, and realizing this outcome was more realistic.

Kylo's brow furrowed at Hux's incessant planning, and he cast around to the survivors, checking to see if any of them were in charge. One was, a male Bothan that had been shot in the leg. Kylo started walking over to him, telling Hux.

_Idiot, don't take a direct path to him! Look around, trace a path of body checks over to him. We don't know he's there until we literally trip over him._

Kylo frowned. This was going to get really annoying really fast. He knelt next to another body, then decided that he didn't want to drag this out longer than necessary. He scanned the survivors for Force sensitivity, found none, then Force-twisted the blaster wound the soldier had in his thigh. He groaned loudly, which was audible from where Kylo and Hux were.

Hux took the opportunity to run over to where the Bothan was. Because he was still angry about being ordered what to do in his own head, Kylo Force-pulled a body into the path where Hux was running. Hux tripped over its legs and fell splayed out onto the deceased. Hux cursed out loud as he pulled himself off the corpse, but nobody but Kylo was close enough to hear this. Hux did not suspect Kylo of a prank. Kylo filed the memory away for later perusal.

After trotting briskly over to the survivor, limping slightly, Hux did the same overwrought routine of concern that had unnerved Kylo earlier. This time, Kylo couldn’t keep it to himself.

“Quit that.”

Hux stopped himself mid-sentence. The Bothan looked up at Kylo. Kylo stared at the Bothan, then back down at Hux, who turned to look at him.

“I… don’t understand what you’re talking about… what are you trying to stop?”

“That fucking act!” Kylo closed his eyes and put his fingers in his hair, stopping before he pulled his hand through.  A stray thought told him that knowing it was his own hair might cause him to drop his Hux disguise, which would make this worse.  He grew even more frustrated. “I can’t… I can’t. Okay? Let’s leave. I can’t stomach weeks or months of you… acting like you give a shit. It’s... creepy.”

He opened his eyes. Hux had turned to glower at him, the loathing clear on his face. Kylo sensed vaguely that, for some reason, Hux was hung up on being called creepy. Kylo can’t determine why, though he wants to. It seemed like a strange thing to take offense to.

The Bothan on the ground was staring in open-mouth horror, first at Kylo, then at Hux. Kylo barely registered him as Hux began to lay into him in earnest.

“Creepy? You want creepy?” Hux stands. “You think I didn’t see that shit in your bathroom? I had to shower in a room that had not only some sick, twisted remnant of your grandfather- where did you even get that?”

Kylo’s eyes widened, more than a little alarmed. Hux’s anger was pressing in on him oppressively, but worse than that, Hux was apparently so angry that he was having difficulty articulating a description of what he found creepy in Kylo's bathroom. Kylo didn’t think that it was possible for Hux to lose his words, except when Kylo was physically intervening.

“I… found it.” Kylo's vague unease prompted him to answer Hux's question.  He didn’t really want to tell Hux about that mask, it was embarrassing.  He couldn't meet Hux's stare, was extremely conscious of the sweat running down his neck.  He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

Hux’s eyes narrowed. “Found it.”

“On… the forest moon of Endor, where my uncle said he held the Jedi rite for him.” Kylo pushed this out, narrowing his own eyes, not sure why he needed to defend this to Hux.

“So you traveled to the Outer Rim, dug through the forest for… an old fire pit. And found the breathing apparatus from your grandfather’s mask. That had been there for, what, decades? Unless this was an excursion you and your uncle undertook when you were young? Part of Jedi training?”

Kylo looked down. “It’s not…” he mentally groped for a reason for this, found one, looked at Hux and smirked triumphantly. “Most people want reminders of their loved ones! Something to remember them by. You’d know that, if you were a complete fucking human being.”

“Oh, yes. I’m sure many human cultures do the equivalent of exhuming their grandfather’s skull after he’s been dead for decades.”

“There was no skull,” Kylo scoffed. “We become one with the Force when we die.”

Hux blinked. Kylo could feel his confusion, and his refusal to indulge Kylo with a question that Kylo so obviously wanted to explain. He smirked instead.

“Well then, why keep the sentimental remains of your grandfather next to the open box of the ashes of your enemies? Am I missing something, in my… incomplete nature? Are most people compelled to incinerate the bodies of beings they personally kill and keep them in their fucking bathroom I can’t even believe you-”

Kylo stared at Hux as he began to grow furious. Kylo stilled his mind. He didn’t feel the need to defend himself against this accusation, but the conversation had the unintended effect of riling Hux to the point of arousal. Kylo was getting hard at the sensation himself, and he began glancing around the perimeter of the clearing while Hux continued to rail at him. His mind reached out for a sheltered place to drag Hux. Would Hux consent to a clump of trees, or would it have to be a building? The ground in this forest was a little soft and spongy, so maybe outside would be okay. Maybe he would finally suck Hux’s dick. Certainly it was time, certainly letting Hux know how that felt was better than the pleasure Hux got from the denial-

“You two… you… look alike… Are you with the First Order?”

Hux clamped his mouth closed, and Kylo’s wandering mind quickly snapped back to his present surroundings. Kylo scowled in annoyance at the Bothan as Hux governed his expression back into his usual arrogant indifference.

“Wipe his mind.” Hux spat this and turned back around, dropping to his knees in front of the soldier.

Kylo grew even more frustrated at the curt command. As if it was that easy, as if anyone commanded Darth Caedus, like he had control of a powerful Sith Lord-

“I can hear you.” Hux spat, not facing Kylo. “Wipe his fucking mind, and let’s get on with this.”

Kylo briefly thought about taking Hux here, for his impertinence, right in front of this man and the other four people who survived the attack. Something about it appealed to him-

He sighed. No, he was going to have to be much more careful about this with Hux. He was sure Hux had decided against continuing their physical relationship, and Kylo was going to have to… re-introduce it correctly. Fucking him in a field of corpses with a wounded audience likely wasn’t the venue for that. Though some part of Kylo’s mind, the Dark part, whispered that maybe it was, in some ways, that he was that monster, and so was Hux.

But that voice was never a pleasant thing to listen to. With a glance, Kylo wiped the soldier’s mind of their recent conversation.

 _Continue_ , he told Hux silently. Hux’s simpering started again, and it was still irritating.

As Hux was binding the soldier's leg wound, the Bothan sat up and thanked him, looking from Hux to Kylo and back again exactly as if he was seeing them for the first time.

"It's lucky that you boys were nearby. Is there more help coming?" The soldier was older, obviously in pain.

Hux looked back and up at Kylo, who was standing over them both, then back to the soldier. His face and body language were radiating terror-

_If you can't wipe that sulky look off your face, have the fucking grace to look at the ground._

-but his mind wasn't. Kylo did as instructed, feeling a vague discontent from Hux at the thought that Kylo might be the weak link in the plan. Kylo resented it, despite his own fears that he wouldn’t be able to hold his disguise, and was, quite literally the weak link in this plan. He resolved to try harder. He did look away and down, but didn’t bother to keep the resentment off his face.

"It... it wasn't luck, sir." Hux stuttered this, looking down at the ground, obviously terrified. "We... we ran away." This last part was whispered, Hux leaned in close. "We couldn't do it. We had to... get away." Hux was looking around at the edge of the woods, a rather transparent gesture that was meant to indicate he was checking for stray Stormtroopers. Kylo turned and did the same thing, mostly hoping to hide his face.

The soldier's eyes widened. "You ran away in the middle of a battle?"

"Please, sir." Hux whispered. "These people are hurt, and I don't... I don't want to be here any longer than we need to. I'm not sure how long... I'm afraid they'll come back. For us." Hux was forcing the words out, half-whisper, half whimper, and he grasped the man's hand.

The soldier looked at him skeptically, then scanned the sky where the _Endurance_ transport ship had come from. "All right. Do you know how close the nearest large transport center is?"

Hux shook his head. "We... we weren't told anything, except what to do. I don't even know where we are."

The Bothan sighed wearily. "Do you have your suits? Can you use the radios in them to get another frequency?"

Hux looked quickly at Kylo again, and shook his head. "We left them."

Kylo frowned. He wondered if Hux had anticipated this question, and that’s why they weren’t wearing armor, or if this was improvised. Hux wasn’t thinking about it right now, and Kylo couldn’t tell.  Kylo had taken his armor off as soon as the oppressive humidity from the bay doors hit him on the transport.  The suits were thermo-regulated, but being in such a confined micro-environment and not feeling the atmosphere of the planet interfered with his connection to the Force. Also, he just hated wearing armor.  Hux had taken his off too, Kylo had assumed it was because Hux hated the thought of being viewed as a regular Stormtrooper, but he hadn't bothered to check.  Had it been part of a plan all along?

The soldier looked around again, seeing if anyone else was stirring. "This looks pretty bad. Can I count on you boys to run northwest until you find the Henlow base? There'll be help there, someone who can find us."

Hux squeezed the soldier's shoulder. "What if they come back for you while we're gone?"

The soldier raised his eyes. "Son, I don't think you'll be much good if they do. But you might help a lot more people if you can get us some med transports faster."

Hux turned back around to Kylo, who was still looking off into the trees, around at the bodies. "Can you? I... I want to stay and help. I think... you seem like you're more shaken up by this than I am."

This wasn't meant as an observation on Hux's part, it was a dismissal.  It was still somewhat true, though. Battle scenes like this left the Force unbalanced, which was bad enough, but the emotional residue was awful. It was one of the reasons Jedi didn't kill people unless they had to. It was better if it was an actual battle, where the soldiers were somewhat mentally prepared, but massacres like this, taking the unsuspecting... the feedback was hitting Kylo's head like knives, twisting in his stomach. Kylo was Sith, and killing opponents in battle made him strong, set him free. But killing innocents unbalanced the Force in a way that he had never learned to control. He didn’t normally slaughter like this for just that reason, usually ordered other people to do it for him while he went away. The last time he had personally taken this many innocents, he had been a Jedi, and they had been children.

He wondered if his distress was seeping into Hux. He turned back, nodded, and trotted off through the trees, leaving Hux to wade through the dead and pretend he was helping them.

He found the base after 40 minutes on foot. Finding it wasn’t difficult, but the walk was long, and the humidity was oppressive. Once there, Kylo explained what had happened to a confused guard, but was intentionally vague about what he had found.

They believed him, which surprised Kylo. He had almost not bothered, had considered just using the Force to get them to the scene, but some small part of his mind thought it might be helpful to have people remember him doing this.

When Kylo explained he had been with someone who was still at the scene, the med unit that was dispatched allowed him to ride back with them. It took only five minutes, in the fast speeders they used.

When they arrived, Kylo saw that Hux had found the other three survivors and had dragged them together, away from the main area of battle.  There were three humans, the Bothan, and a badly-wounded Togruta, which Kylo was surprised to see alive - they were normally the easiest targets to remove first, owing to their size and bright coloring, especially on a dark planet like this. Hux was bloody, and still looked very scared. When he saw Kylo, he ran over to him and grabbed his hand. Kylo was taken aback by this, even though he could sense the complete lack of intimacy in the action, that Hux was only doing it to make their companionship seem more realistic - which it was, wasn’t it?  But it was still an odd gesture.  Kylo didn't really pay attention to such things, but he was having a hard time picturing Stormtroopers holding hands.  He thought about consulting Hux's memories to find out if this was factual or done out of genuine fondness, but Kylo knew the answer, and pretended it was the latter.

Hand in hand, they watched as the survivors were loaded into the two med-shuttles. Hux and Kylo were taken away on a separate transport that had arrived shortly after Kylo, blessedly cool inside. Kylo sensed it wasn't quite a prison transport, and relayed this to Hux. He sensed the Bothan with the leg injury had told the base about Kylo and Hux, abut their defection. Once they reached the low, single-story bunker-style base, they were both detained in a sterile waiting room. There was a door, a table, four chairs, and an obvious one-way window.This was fine with Kylo, since it was an improvement from the oppressive humidity of the atmosphere.  His hair and close-fitting uniform were still soaked with sweat, and he wanted to clean up and change badly.  But he'd take cool temperatures first.

Hux and Kylo sat in silence for over an hour, Hux running through scenarios and the successes of the day, and Kylo not interrupting him to have a conversation, even though he was bored and he thought Hux’s train of thought was dull and excessive.

Eventually, a human in an officer’s uniform came in to speak to them, settling himself in a chair across the table.  He hadn't brought anything with him, but he flipped open a console in the table's surface that Kylo couldn't see.  He didn't consult it, but his fingers were poised over it, presumably to take notes.

"I hear you boys defected today." The man got right into it, giving the two a level look. Kylo sent a tendril of Force power to slip undetected into his mind, to get a thin reading on his thoughts.  He was weary, but not very suspicious. He thought they might be spies, and Kylo knew they would be detained for a while regardless of the results of this interview.

Hux looked at the table, fiddled with his hands. "Yes, sir."

"Do you want to tell me how you managed this?"

Hux looked over at Kylo, the back down to his hands. "Well, we were trained as soldiers, of course... Stormtroopers. Everyone is." Here Hux's eyes darted up to the man's, then back down again. "But we hadn't been on battle duty before. We were just... sort of training dummies, maintenance workers, lots of odd jobs.  We were an auxiliary unit. But the Mandalorians on our ship got hit hard, so they decided to use our unit for battles. We were pretty old, to have never done it before. We had our first mission, about a month ago..." here Hux trailed off, seeming to not want to continue.

"What happened?" the man said, not without sympathy.

Hux clenched his eyes, then opened them again and looked up at the man. "I don't... I don't think it was even a hard battle. It was on Isolver," Here, Hux looked up, and the man nodded, apparently familiar with the incident. "We attacked a New Republic base there. They were soldiers, and it was just a regular fight, just a war. But... actually killing people, seeing the people I had lived with all my life getting mowed down... I got scared. We got scared." At this, Hux clasped Kylo's hand.

Kylo was impressed for a moment that Hux had referenced a real battle, a detail that would not have occurred to Kylo and another good (real) reason to do this with Hux.

Hux was finally a little nervous.  It stemmed from getting found out, but anyone would be nervous in this situation. Kylo didn't have much comfort for him, since he was still scared himself, but fed him the thought that the officer wasn't looking to kill them. He scanned Hux's mind deeper, greedily, unable to help himself this time, to discover if the hand-holding was for comfort or show. The latter. Of course.

"I... didn't think I could do it again. We both got disciplined, for not firing our guns during that battle. I knew he was as scared as I was. Nobody else in the unit was. I tried talking to them a little, thinking it would be easier if the whole unit defected during the next battle... but they were excited to finally be fighting, and they filled in our casualties with Mandalorians, so... we weren't the same unit anymore."

Here, Hux looked up. "During the next battle, we volunteered to stay with the ship, to intercept communications. I took the tracking chips out from here,” Hux pointed to a spot behind his right ear, “and put them with our armor, and we left our armor. So they couldn't track us when we ran away." Here Hux looked down again. "I know I'm a coward. But after years of being trained to do it... I just couldn't pull the trigger and end someone's life like that."

Kylo wondered vaguely where Hux even came up with this garbage. He didn't believe a word of it, and he didn’t think Hux was particularly inventive, in this way. Kylo found a memory of a Stormtrooper begging for his life using this logic, and turned away from it.  He also realized he'd had his earlier question answered, about whether Hux had decided in advance to leave the armor behind and use it as an excuse for not having a radio.

The man studied them for a moment, his face hidden by clasped hands in front of his mouth. "You know that's the same speech I'd expect to hear from someone who had been sent to spy, right?"

Hux flinched, genuinely, as did Kylo, though he could tell the man still didn't know what to make of them. Hux recovered gracefully. "I'd do anything, sir. Anything that would make you believe we're not... we can't go back."

"We want information. Are you from the _Finalizer_?"

Kylo was confused by this until he remembered only the _Finalizer_ didn't have clone troopers, because it had been Hux's ship. Hux didn't give anything away save for a timid desire to please. "No sir, the _Pandora_."

The man's eyes narrowed. "Are you regular recruits, the ones General Hux raided for?"

Kylo withered at the mention of Hux's name, and Hux balked at the accusation he would raid for children to train, as if he were that desperate. "No sir... we're clone troops. Just not Mandalorian."

The man nodded, a bit perplexed, but more willing to believe this. Kylo sensed that he thought they were identical twins, and had been confused by Hux's story of how they had defected together. "We didn't know they had different clone troops. Do you know why, or what you do differently that the Mandalorians don't?"

 _Actually kill people with blasters_ , thought Kylo immediately. Had he thought this at Hux? He had, he could feel a spike of amusement from Hux. Hux still hated using the clone troops.

Hux looked at Kylo thoughtfully, then back at the man. "I've never seen any other different clones, outside of our unit. And like I said, we didn't really do anything special."

The man's brow furrowed. "Then why make you at all?"

Hux took a deep breath. "I've heard... that we were made by Commandant Hux, towards the end of the Empire." He looked back at Kylo, then at the man. "We're clones of General Hux."

At this the man's eyes widened, and he spun around to activate a screen on the wall.  This was odd, and Kylo wondered why he didn't use the console in front of him.   The officer called up information on Hux, which appeared in a language Kylo couldn't read. He scanned Hux's mind for what it said, frustrated.

Hux was cataloging the information they had, not reading it. They knew his age, his training background, a little bit about his family (Kylo groped for this detail, but Hux didn't linger on it). They knew he was among the first group that defected to form the First Order (Kylo didn't know this - it made Hux older than he thought). They knew which ships he commanded, and knew he had received a promotion when he had taken over Starkiller Base. He was presumed dead in the implosion there. Hux finished, relieved that this was all they knew.  Kylo only now realized that Hux was giving them his former General rank, rather than revealing his current position of power.

Mostly, there was a photo from two years ago, taken from Hux broadcasting his warnings from Starkiller Base.  Hux was wearing that stupid hat in it, and Kylo had to keep a smirk off his face at the thought of that photo being the one the Resistance used to identify him. The man studied the photo, then turned around and studied the two of them. Kylo looked down, unsure whether he could take the incredulous look off his face. He knew the man wouldn't spot any differences.

"You are a clone, aren't you? Can you tell me any more about that?"

Hux looked up at the photo, no longer staring at the man. "We've never met him. We were all cloned as... babies, I guess. I remember growing up. He looks younger than us in that photo, but maybe it's an old photo.  Unless he's also a clone of someone else." Hux's eyes returned to the officer. "Some of the old Mandalorians told us that the other Officer Huxes had clone units too, but I've never seen them." Hux looked down, looked unsure whether to continue, apparently made a decision, looked up again. Kylo was fascinated by his pantomime, and still greatly unnerved that Hux had transformed into a different person.

"I've heard... I don't know if it's true, do you mind that?" The officer shook his head, put his hand out for Hux to continue. "I've heard they were killed. The oldest ones... I heard the older one was kind of... wild, and they were worried the clones would be, too." He looked a little giddy, to be speaking this kind of gossip.  Kylo turned to stare at him, wanting to beg him to stop the act again.  Hux finished his story. "I've heard the other one had his executed when he got old enough."

The officer's eyebrows went up. "How large was your unit?"

"Twenty men, sir."

"Do you know why General Hux would have kept you around?"

Hux shook his head. "No, sir. Like I said, I've never met him. And nobody really treated us any differently from the others, except we didn't get combat detail, for some reason.

The officer frowned, then turned back to the screen and brought up a biography of Hux's father, still in the other language. Kylo scanned Hux's mind hopefully, but Hux wasn't reading it, just confirming that it was the biographical information that had been available in the Empire's records. He looked until he found his father's execution date. The photo was of a dark-haired, hollow-cheeked man, very gaunt and sinister-looking. Hux looked nothing like him. Kylo thought he must take after his mother, and wondered what she looked like.

The man was reading this file, as it contained much more information. He turned back to Hux. "This says he was one of the first pioneers in staffing the Stormtrooper program with non-clones."

Hux looked confused. "Who is?"

The man gave a lopsided grin. "Commandant Hux. The General's father."

Hux looked at the photo, somewhat hungrily. "They don't look anything alike," he offered, on a tangent.

Kylo wondered if he had picked up on his own curiosity, if his thoughts were leeching into Hux again. But it wasn’t that. Hux thought it might be more believable for a clone to want to know who his father was. Kylo confirmed, scanning the man's thoughts and finding him wondering about that.

The man studied Hux, looked at Kylo, then continued. "No, they don't. But Commandant Hux didn't like the Clone Troopers, primarily because they all had the same weaknesses. Why would such a man clone his sons?"

Hux looked away from the screen, back to the officer, and shrugged. "Maybe he wanted to try out other types of clones? Maybe he wanted spares of his sons, so he could replace them if they died?"

Kylo could feel the man swallowing this logic, though he was beginning to wonder why a clone would know this.

 _Careful_ , Kylo warned. Hux confirmed.

The man turned back around, and pulled up biographies again. Consulting Hux, he found that these were Hux’s older brothers. Hux skimmed through, disinterested again, confirming that these were the Empire's records. Kylo studied the photos. One looked a lot like his father, dark hair and eyes, a fuller face, still too gaunt. The other had a round, cherubic face, with curly brown hair and blue eyes. Kylo wondered which one was the berserk one. He couldn't tell, and Hux wasn't thinking about them right now.

The officer turned back around. “These two don't look familiar to you?”

Hux shook his head. Kylo did the same after a moment, realizing that the man was waiting for him to respond as well.

The man sat back. "We're going to scan you for technology, to make sure you didn't smuggle anything with you. You're going to be isolated, and on limited duty for a while, probably a long time. We aren't going to be able to trust you."

Hux nodded solemnly, then more enthusiastically. "We're grateful. As long as we don't have to go back." He dropped Kylo's hand, looking at him, then back at the man, a hopeful look on his face. "Can we stay together, at least?"

The man smiled. "There's no harm in that. It's worse if you didn't, I think!" He laughed, then looked at them again, his mood lightening. "What are your names?"

"RE-04," Hux answered immediately. "And he's RE-11."

The man's brow furrowed, and he looked a bit sad. "I've heard that troops don't get regular names."

"No, sir." Hux shook his head, unsure if it was better to look sad or matter-of-fact. He decided on the latter, since names were never important to the First Order. Only officers got more than a number, and even then, it was only a last name. Kylo wondered again what Hux's first name was, decided he'd dig for it later.

The man smiled. "Okay. You'll have to stay under lock and key for a time. I'm sorry, we're going to keep you in a cell here, before transferring you elsewhere. Is that okay?"

Hux looked up, privately very amused that the man would ask for permission. "That's fine... only... would you like us to do something useful? Is there any tasks you want us to take care of while we're here?"

Hux didn't mean this, hoped they wouldn't be put on some disgusting menial duty, thought they probably wouldn't. He was right.

The officer shook his head gravely. "Not until we can confirm you're not in contact with the First Order. Until then, take a break." The man smiled, hoping that the two of them weren't spies, feeling bad that they had apparently only been brainwashed to do work.

Kylo stood up, meeting the man's eyes. "We're not bad people."

He Force-pushed it into the man's mind. The man blinked. "You're not bad people."

Kylo mostly did it to annoy Hux. The officer hadn't needed the mind trick, and Hux was wanting to convince him without the use of Kylo. But Kylo knew it wouldn't hurt, and wanted to show Hux that he could do something.

The officer blinked again, rapidly, his thought process re-starting, then looked at the two, more sympathetically. "My name is Captain Jul. You can call on me if you need anything. I hope you’ll see this as time off, and not a punishment." He leaned over the desk. "And I sincerely hope that you aren't spies." He looked at Hux, then lingered longer on Kylo.

"We're not spies." Kylo tried again.

"You're not spies," The officer repeated, blinking as his thoughts started again. "Come with me. I'll lead you to your room."

Jul turned and walked out of the room, thinking of the implications of clones of General Hux defecting. Did it mean the General himself wasn't all bad? Did it mean there were other clones out there, waiting to defect?

There weren't. The Mandalorians were so institutionalized, brainwashed over three generations, that there wasn't a single mutinous thought among them. Kylo had checked. And checked again. As per Hux’s request. Kylo also lowered his head and smiled at the thought of Commander General Hux being like the timid Stormtrooper Captain Jul had just spoken to.

Hux and Kylo followed to one of the base’s holding cells. It was much nicer than the ones they kept on board the First Order ships, and looked more like the living quarters for the Officers in the First Order. It was institutional white, it two single beds, and a separate small room for a bathroom. There were no windows, and the door locked from the other side. There were two non-networked PDs on a low table in front of a relatively comfortable red upholstered couch. No place to eat other than that, and he could feel Hux recoil mentally at having to eat on the couch.

Kylo’s reminder that he had eaten off the floor more than once was not appreciated.

Captain Jul showed them in, promised they'd be fed later, gave them one last smile, and closed the door behind them.

Hux looked slowly around the room, and collapsed into the couch. He looked warily at Kylo before closing his eyes, leaning back, and carefully relaxing his face into his arrogant neutral expression. This looked correct on Hux, but probably didn’t match well with the act he was putting on here. Kylo smirked at the thought that Hux might not realize nothing about his real personality was going to mix with this Resistance cover persona.

As Kylo sat on the couch next to him, Hux started the inquisition that Kylo had been expecting all day.

_Are you fucking serious? You didn't say or do a single helpful thing the entire time!_

_What was I supposed to say?_

_Anything! Act scared, throw in a comment about how much you hated the First Order, something along those lines would have been helpful. You looked bored and pouty the whole time._

Kylo resented that, although he knew it had been true. Most people had engaged Hux and found him believable, even wanted to believe he wasn't a spy, but Kylo had given them pause. He had tried to school his features into at least blankness when that happened.

To annoy Hux, he Force-froze Hux's face into the impersonal mask. He could feel Hux twitching against it after he did it.

_You're getting a little angry, General. And there are eyes on us._

_Are there?_

Kylo looked around the room, but didn't see any cameras. He closed his eyes and sent his mind out through the base, seeing if there was anyone monitoring their actions.  There was one person, watching a feed from three cameras in the room. Kylo opened his eyes and looked for them where he knew they were, but still didn't see them.

_Three cameras. Bed, bathroom, and table. No blind spots. They're definitely watching us._

_I wonder what they expect us to do for three days._

_True. A real clone trooper would lose his mind._

_Really?_ Hux seemed genuinely interested.

_Yes. All the ones I checked hated down time. They don't read, and most of them aren't interested in the holoarchives. They're too separated from reality._

He could feel Hux re-adjusting clone trooper schedules to eliminate leisure time, and Kylo felt his impatience spike, though he was careful to keep his face schooled into the same mask of indifference he was forcing on Hux's face.  But he liked this, talking in a room by themselves, and he wanted to continue the conversation as long as possible.  Kylo's conversation skills had gotten rusty over the years, however (he was sure he had spoken more to Hux today than everyone else he'd spoken to for the last five years combined), and he struggled to find a topic to discuss.  He couldn't think of anything except Hux's completely out-of-character acting.

_That was some show you put on. Your drama could probably fool your own mother._

_Let's hope so._

Cryptic, though Kylo cast around for deeper meaning and couldn't find anything. He thought about asking instead.

_Is your mother part of the Resistance?_

Hux was amused. _No, she's not. But your mother runs it. Can your disguise fool_ your _own mother?_

Kylo tensed, growing angry.  He did not want to talk about his mother - Leia, not even with Hux.  That was off-limits.  Hux recoiled mentally at Kylo's fury, and Kylo tried to get himself back under control. He realized he was also squeezing Hux's face, and released the pressure. It was a pointed, but valid question. Kylo didn't know. He didn't want to admit it to Hux, though.

_That's fine. She won't see past my disguise._

_Let's hope not. Better yet, let's hope that we don't cross her path at all._

_Unlikely. She'll probably have C-3P0 close by._

_Is C-3P0 one of the droids?_

_Yes, the protocol droid. The other one is an astromech droid, an old R2 unit. I think Luke probably has it, so I'm hoping he's found his way back to the Resistance. If not, C-3P0 will probably be able to find R2-D2._

_I'd rather not cross paths with Luke Skywalker either, if it's all the same to you._ He could feel Hux’s annoyance. _You didn’t tell me that we were stealing the personal droids of the two people I would like to encounter least on this excursion._

Kylo smiled, but only because Hux's eyes were still closed. _I know you like a challenge._

Kylo debated whether he should cast out, looking for his mother and Luke. His mother probably wouldn't notice. He was fairly sure Luke wouldn't notice either, but he didn't want to draw attention to himself in a base.

Hux must have felt him thinking about it, or maybe it was a coincidence. _Are there any Force-sensitive individuals here?_

Kylo closed his eyes and cast out again, looking. He found a few who probably had low midichlorian counts, but nobody who would be able to sense him unless he grabbed them and smashed them against the wall with the Force.

 _No_ , he confirmed.

Hux got angry. _Did you just check now? You didn't think to check when we walked in, or when you were using mind tricks on the Captain? Or when you were looking for the cameras?_

Kylo got angry himself. _What difference does it make? I would have dealt with it if anyone had noticed_.

_Look, I know this is nothing to you, that you can just fight your way out and disappear, or whatever. But I don't want your carelessness to be the thing that makes the Resistance realize I’m doing something this stupid and deserve to be caught._

The mental image Hux had of Kylo wiping out most of the base was something Kylo decided to keep and cherish, to pull out when he was having a bad day. That Hux thought Kylo was capable of such acts was amusing to him, as Kylo had never done anything like that before.  Well, mostly.  Not really.  Not by himself.

But Hux was probably right, he could do it. He could feel Hux growing increasingly angry over the thought that Kylo was an unknown element in his own fucking plan, and Kylo got offended enough by the thought to calm Hux down.

_Look, I'll keep my mouth shut and my face straight. I can't do anything that way, right?_

Hux agreed, but only grudgingly. He could feel Hux return to the mental image of Kylo smashing through the base with his lightsaber, and Hux wonder idly if Kylo had brought it with him.

_I didn't. They would have found it. I'll build one later, though._

He could feel Hux pause at this. _Where are you going to get the kyber crystal for that?_

Kylo considered feigning ignorance, but he was fairly certain Hux would simply kill him before he could get to the punchline. He reached into the neck of his black shirt and pulled out a chain, where he’d wrapped the small, cracked, red crystal from his lightsaber in wire.

_It’s not a weapon, they won’t find it on me. They won’t know what it is._

Kylo felt Hux fighting the Force-hold on his face, and he released him. His usual look of annoyance flickered briefly, then he frowned and reached for the chain, studying the stone.

_Why didn’t you ever get another one?_

_This is the one I found._

Hux’s eyes flicked up to his briefly. Kylo held his breath, trying to stay calm. Hux leaned against one arm, the other holding the crystal while he levered his body over Kylo.

_I found this one._

Kylo broke eye contact, pulling out of Hux’s mind and staring at the wall. He didn’t want Hux to have even a hint of his thoughts on this matter.

They had worked together, for a grand total of two days, years before they had been stationed together on the _Finalizer_. Snoke had sent both of them to find kyber crystals. Hux needed to find a significant source of the crystals for the weapon he had designed that would become the gun on Starkiller Base, and Kylo needed to find one to make his own lightsaber. Both of them had been much younger, much lower rank.

Kylo had been the one that had found the crystal deposit on Prental, and Snoke had ordered him to take Hux with him, since Hux's ideas for new weapons had impressed him.

When they found the crystal, and it was massive, Kylo had walked toward it to strike a piece off, to claim the stone he would use to do battle with the Force.

Hux had shot him in the back.

When Kylo woke up, he had a small, broken stone in his hand, and he was in an escape pod with a rescue beacon flaring. A comm was in the pod’s system.

 _To Supreme Leader’s Apprentice:_  
_Your service to the future of weapons development for the First Order is appreciated._  
_\- Lieutenant Hux_

At the time, he had let rage consume him to the point of nearly blowing up the pod with the Force alone.  When he asked permission to find Hux and take his life, or to get a new crystal to make a weapon with, Snoke had declined.  He insisted that Kylo had found the crystal, and that the Lieutenant's treachery was a legitimate part of the selection rite.  He could also feel a kind of fondness from Snoke over the treachery, as if Hux was a cherished pet that had done something amusing.  This had only made the whole thing worse.

 _I didn’t think you remembered that, or recognized me._ Kylo went enough into Hux’s mind after his reminiscing to continue the conversation.

Hux leaned back into the couch, away from Kylo, closing his eyes again. _I did._

 _Did Snoke tell you to do that? Back then?_   Kylo had always wondered.  He had assumed Snoke was happy with the action because Hux had followed through on what probably would have been a difficult order for most.

_No, he didn't tell me to do anything but get the crystals I needed._

Anger, which Kylo quickly quashed. _I always thought he had. You… just decided to shoot a Force user in the back?_

_You didn’t even have a lightsaber. That crystal was huge, and I needed it for my gun. There's only been a few known specimens that large. I thought Snoke would understand that I didn’t want some apprentice magician to spoil it for one sword._

Kylo smothered his anger again, and was silent, brooding, pulled out of Hux’s mind.

The whole incident had left him roiling in fury, in Dark. He had built the sword that way, the sword that was broken, too powerful, not enough control, unstable.

It suited him. And he had Hux to thank for that, too.

His control had never come easily after that, and part of his assignment on the _Finalizer_ , unbeknownst to Hux, was to avoid killing him. Snoke sensed that Kylo still held a grudge, which he did. Kylo would hold most grudges to the grave, usually that of the person who had earned the grudge. But Hux had been… a little too… not afraid of Kylo, and attractive, and so much himself, that Kylo had slipped far past forgiveness and into a horrible kind of admiration. That’s just what Hux did. He shot people in the back when it suited him, usually when they least expected it.

As a small measure of revenge, Kylo plunged deep and hard into Hux’s mind. There was a brief feeling of loathing from Hux - he had thought they were done talking, and he considered trying to close his mind to Kylo, then brazenly decided to leave it open. As if the act of defiance would somehow wound Kylo.

Kylo opened his eyes and thought about the cameras again, then decided to have some fun with Hux. Or at Hux’s expense. Either was fine.

"Come here," quietly, out loud.

"What do you mean?" Hux’s eyes sprang open, his surprised tone was genuine.

Kylo Force-froze him in place, then scooted over and put his arm around Hux's shoulders. He made Hux lean against him, resting his head against his shoulder and closing his eyes. Kylo laid his head on top of Hux's.

He could feel Hux mentally railing, but mostly about being forced to cuddle. Kylo smugly tried to soothe him.

_We just escaped an extremely emotional situation. You're the one that thought it would be more realistic if we held hands in our initial interrogation. This is much less strange than us sitting awkwardly apart._

Hux calmed, only somewhat convinced that Kylo wasn’t doing this for his own pleasure.

Kylo cast out to the person watching the three cameras. He felt their regard for the two soften, and showed the mental image to Hux.

Hux relented, mollified. He still seemed unhappy that it looked like he was comforting himself - the strangeness of looking at Kylo and seeing himself had not worn off, and Hux did much to avoid looking at him all day.  To Kylo's surprise, Hux found this just as unnerving as Kylo had found Hux's act.  Having Kylo's expressions on his own face, his thoughts in his own head, was taxing Hux in an intangible way that Hux was refusing to acknowledge.

But he did stop struggling against Kylo.

As it had been many hours since the start of the exercise on board the ship to their little prison cell, Hux's whirring mental calculations eventually slowed and tapered off into sleep.

After he was sure Hux was asleep, Kylo turned his head slightly, so his face was in Hux's hair. It was soft and thick, though Hux kept it cut short enough to be somewhat prickly against Kylo's (Hux's) face. He smelled his scalp, letting himself luxuriate in the feel, the scent of the only person who would let Kylo near him, the only person who was enough of a monster not to fear Kylo. Of all the people who Kylo had met, of all the minds he had touched, Hux was the only one who wasn't scared, didn’t want to beat him in a fight, or use Kylo for his own ends - except for that one time, and that didn’t count. Kylo knew what it was to be exploited for his power, to be taken advantage of, and he knew Hux didn’t want to use him like that.

Kylo's eyes shot open in a sudden realization.

Nobody here would be afraid of him.

If he learned from Hux and put on his own act, he could make friends.

He could... stop being Kylo. Darth Caedus.

Stop being a Sith Lord.

Learn to live a normal life.

As he thought about it, his mind wandered back to the act Hux had put on. All those people thought Hux was a coward, defenseless, harmless, ingratiating. But he wasn't. He was still Hux, and he was still manipulating them to think and do what he wanted. Kylo could put on any act he wanted, but he was still a Sith Lord. Still the same inside. This was the same lesson he'd learned when he'd been an unhappy Jedi and thought turning to the Dark Side would make him happier. It didn't.

Though, with his face in Hux's hair, he thought he might be at least a little happy.


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo fell asleep with the lights fully on, his arm around Hux, and his face buried in orange hair. Which was surprisingly soft without whatever Hux styled it with, and also smelled strongly of sweat and Hux. He hadn’t meant to, but he had been comfortable, and the day had been long, and he had gotten what he wanted, which happened so rarely. Though he was concerned on some level that, if he let himself sleep too long, his mind would relax enough to let go of his disguise.

But not only did he sleep, he fell deep enough that when the soldier appeared with their meal (Kylo assumed it was the morning meal, but he wasn’t sure about the day cycle on this planet), he started badly, jerked his arm from around Hux, and reached for his lightsaber. Hux clamped a hand on his wrist to stop him, and politely thanked the soldier who had brought it.

Kylo turned his face away from the door and checked and rechecked himself, frantically, to make sure his disguise was still in place. This was difficult, because touching himself might break the illusion when he was this badly shaken, but he could not calm his mind enough to determine if the low-level Force deception was still being practiced by rote. There were no mirrors for him to check, and eventually he calmed by telling himself that either Hux or the soldier would have reacted badly to his own face in the cell. He took a breath, closed his eyes, and found the place in his mind where he kept a barrier around the trick. Sleep hadn’t disturbed it. He was all right.

He opened his eyes and glanced over at Hux, who was answering polite questions about how well they had slept, that they were both very shaken to have given themselves over to the Resistance, thankful for the meal, and some other convincing lies.

Kylo balanced his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands, careful to ignore the shape of his features, not trailing his fingers through his hair. He was upset and angry, and badly shaken after the sleep. He knew the soldier would notice and Hux would berate him again if he didn’t somehow hide his mood. He stood and walked to the corner of the room, put one palm against the chill wall. The conversation hitched briefly as the soldier’s attention obviously wandered to Kylo, but Hux redirected her back to the prattle he was plying her with.

As the conversation trailed off, Kylo turned back to the table with the two trays of food and the soldier’s departing back. She turned and smiled at them, giving the two a mischievous look over her shoulder as she departed.

Hux frowned as the door closed, but quickly cleared his face, dropping his attention to the food but directing a question at Kylo. _Why was she so happy to see us?_

Kylo, mood suddenly improved, turned toward the door to hide his grin from Hux. He double-checked the woman’s thoughts to confirm his suspicions as she strode away from the cell. _She was the one watching us on the security cameras earlier._

Hux cursed blackly in his mind, still not liking the fact that it looked like he was comforting himself. Kylo ignored him, and collapsed back onto the couch close enough that their thighs rubbed together.  Hux moved away incrementally to separate them again, which only brought another smile to Kylo's face.

The Resistance food was better than what the First Order served, even to officers. They had provided a mix of what Kylo assumed was indigenous meat and vegetables. It would have been powdered or reconstituted rations in a First Order prison, and a sort of bland food blend for soldiers and officers alike, all the ingredients of a balanced meal mixed together into a bowl, soup, casserole, or something else that Kylo generally couldn’t taste. He grabbed the tray into his lap, ravenous, and began eating messily, not caring what Hux thought of him.

Predictably, Hux wasn’t happy with the food arrangement. He studied the meal, wished that he didn’t have to eat on the couch they had just slept on. He eventually sighed and set the tray in his lap, beginning to eat the food gingerly with the cutlery provided on the side of the tray. Something else the First Order wouldn’t have given prisoners, lest they use it as a desperate weapon. First Order prisoners ate with their hands, or drank the rations from a bowl.

Kylo watched Hux eat, staring openly as Hux consumed the meal. Hux didn’t seem to notice, was gazing vacantly at the wall and contemplating possible outcomes of their interrogation. Hux ate in an almost delicate way, cutting the food into small mouthfuls and chewing carefully. His hands were pale, his fingers long and shapely - Kylo was transfixed. The First Order uniform included gloves, and Kylo was so used to seeing them on people that bare hands were immodest, something one wasn't shown save intimately. Hux’s were beautiful, and seemed ridiculously out-of-place on someone as generally unpleasant as Hux. But Hux’s contradictions appealed to Kylo, and he ached to have those hands on his body again. He looked down at the illusion of Hux’s hands on his own body, flexed the fingers and turned them to study the backs, then the palms. He wondered if he could maintain the illusion if he masturbated with them. Discarded the thought after deciding it would be more fun to have the real Hux do it for him. Kylo had done most of the touching, between them, but he would make sure to have Hux do his share, next time.

Kylo’s attention strayed to Hux’s mouth, then away - much more of this and he would get hard, and he didn’t want that distraction right now. He moved his thoughts away from Hux’s mouth and back to the food inside it, and the mental processes behind his delicate dining. Hux’s care with eating appeared to be ingrained - as far as Kylo knew, he hadn’t eaten in almost a full cycle and had to be starving, but his hunger seemed to be a low-level concern, barely noticed, and curbed patiently, completely unlike the way Kylo was openly satisfying his need.

Kylo finished his food, sparing a glance around the room to spot the hidden cameras.  He still didn't see them.  He could feel their presence constantly, pressing in on his conscience and restricting his movements and behaviors.  Staying aware of them was already a chore, and Kylo dreaded the days they were to stay here.

Still, he had to remind himself it was easy to stay within and show nothing to the cameras.  They impeded certain activities he had in mind, but for everyday purposes? No need to act. So Kylo closed his eyes, crossed his arms, leaned back in the chair, and treated himself to what Hux was thinking.

After sifting through several different interrogation scenarios, Hux let his mind stray to the problem of how to kill time in the cell for the next several days. Kylo smiled wickedly, his eyes still closed. He had a few ideas that didn’t seem to be entering Hux’s mind. He considered putting the ideas there himself, seeing how Hux reacted.  But he thought surprising him might be better, and besides, he knew how Hux would react. He would say no, and tell Kylo to stop doing it. Boring.

Hux was still eating slowly and ignoring Kylo, so Kylo decided to try talking to Hux. But as Hux had helpfully pointed out before, Kylo wasn’t very good at talking to people. He knew too much about them, could sense their thoughts too easily. Talking to them was mostly unnecessary to learn what he wanted, and when he did speak, he hated getting negative mental feedback when he made a verbal misstep. Reading people's thoughts while he talked to them had always frustrated him, made him feel foolish. He had developed his habit of sullen silence as a child, withdrawing when he found he couldn’t charm people as easily as his mother or father. But he cared less now, and was bored, and wanted to learn more about Hux, to see what he would offer when Kylo asked.

He opened his eyes to look at Hux while he decided whether to try to talk aloud or keep the conversation between themselves.  He decided faking a conversation for the cameras aloud would be too tedious, and Hux wouldn't say anything true out loud anyway.  So he talked directly into Hux's mind.

_This mission is something like an old holodrama. Did you ever watch those as a kid?_

This felt like a terrible opening, even to Kylo. He shifted uncomfortably, turned away and scowled at the wall, not wanting Hux to see him react.

Hux froze for a moment, turning to stare at him with the fork raised almost to his mouth, before remembering himself and carefully closing his lips around it, turning away to feign a blank stare at the wall once again.

_What are you doing?_ Hux asked, immediately seeing the gambit for the lie it was.

Kylo decided to make it less of a lie. _Practicing how to talk with people._

_Clones don’t watch the dramas. You just told me they’re too detached from galactic culture._

_Consider it common fucking ground. Isn’t that a good place to start a conversation? Is that how you have one?_

Hux sighed, unable to hold it in, his face immediately creasing in annoyance. Kylo felt a spike of pride at having broken Hux’s composure, then even more happy when Hux answered him.

_No, I didn’t really watch the holodramas. I only liked stories if they were true._

_Wow, how completely unsurprising that you never liked fictional stories. But you watched the ones that were real?_

Hux paused, thinking back to his childhood. Kylo dug greedily at the memories, had been hoping to make Hux recall them so he could plunder them in the very likely event Hux didn’t want to share himself. But Hux wasn’t that interested in dwelling on his childhood interests, and Kylo couldn’t grasp the memories in more than nonsensical images. _Yeah, I liked the ones based on true stories. The adventures and things. The ones about the Rebellion were my favorites._

Part of Kylo was surprised by this, and wanted to tease Hux, or somehow tell everybody that the head of the First Order had been a fan of Rebellion dramas as a child. But this was dangerous territory, as Kylo didn’t want to accidentally learn that Hux had liked the ones about his parents. So he decided to needle him about something different.

_How old were you when those were popular? I’m surprised you were still watching them at that age._

_I’m not that fucking old_ , Hux thought back, with withering anger. Kylo liked scoring the hit.

_Did your parents take you to see them?_

Hux was silent a moment, and Kylo could feel his mood drift back to neutral. _No, my parents never took me to see dramas. I watched them on my PD, sometimes. I liked reading better, though._

_What did you read?_ Kylo knew this might be pushing too far, and hoped that Hux wouldn’t dwell on the nature of his interest. Kylo didn’t want to be interrogated about that.

_What a probing question._

This time Kylo sighed, exasperated.  Though the wall was expected, Kylo still didn't like running into it, because why keep something so unimportant to yourself?  _I’ve seen you come so hard you thought there was blood in your semen. Why does it still bother you to tell me about yourself?_

That particular health concern wasn’t something that Hux had told him, or that Kylo had commented on at the time. Kylo knew Hux wouldn’t like it, and he was rewarded with a rare, delicate red blush that crept up to his ears. Hux was difficult to shame, so Kylo knew it wasn’t quite embarrassment. But Hux didn’t like sharing himself, and Kylo had been hoping for this kind of reaction. He looked out of the corner of his eye as he turned his head to feign interest in the wall, covering his smirk. It was nice to see that blush in a non-sexual context. Even nicer when Hux ignored the dig and continued.

_I read the biography of Governor Tarkin a few times, and I liked reading stories about my older brothers._

Kylo turned back to study Hux, who was still fussily attending to his meal. _They wrote books about your brothers? That were still available after the Empire fell?_

_No… not quite. My mother had… articles and things, she collected stories about my dad and brothers, and gave them to me when I was old enough to read. She wanted me to know… what to aspire to, I suppose. The Tarkin biography was still available, though. The New Republic liked having that sort of thing out there, lest we forget the terror and all that._

_Little did they know that it would provide inspiration to young minds._

Hux laughed, a little, out loud. Kylo was inordinately happy to hear it, to be the source of that laughter without being laughed at himself, but he felt like he should probably not look at why right now.

When Hux didn't respond, Kylo was at a loss as to how to continue.  He desperately wanted to keep the conversation going, and to learn more about Hux’s family. Asking more personal questions might silence Hux, however. More dangerous, it might make Hux ask about Kylo’s family, which would also end the conversation. While suffering this dilemma, he was surprised when Hux himself continued the questions.

_What did you read, then, young Jedi?_

Kylo smiled. He could feel Hux tense slightly at the comment, thinking it would set Kylo off but not being able to help himself.

_I didn’t really read myself… well, my uncle… Luke Skywalker._

Kylo closed his eyes. He didn’t like to think about this, but Hux’s question was innocent enough, and these memories weren’t bad ones. He opened his eyes, met Hux’s blue gaze calmly, and continued.

_I lived with him, mostly. He kind of adopted me when it was obvious I was Force-sensitive. He would read to me at night, but mostly the same legend over and over again._

_Some Jedi thing?_ Hux asked, and Kylo could feel his interest waning.

_No… I don’t think it was_. He paused a moment, rifling through memories he hadn’t examined in a long time. _I don’t remember what it was called_.

Hux raised his eyebrows, attentive. _What was it about?_

Kylo could feel interest in solving the problem of what the legend was and whether Hux had heard of it before. But not in what it actually had to do with Kylo.  That hurt a bit, but he continued anyway and pretended not to notice.

_I think it was old. Really old. Luke said that it was a story his uncle had told him, and he had to have C-3PO help him find it. The droid eventually did find a version, and he translated it for Luke. We both liked it. We read it every day._

He stopped to gather the threads of the story, trying to remember enough to summarize it. He hadn’t thought of it in a long time. Incredibly, Hux was still listening.

_It started off with this boy, who was just… he was no one. The friend of another boy, who was more important. But a wizard-_

_I thought you said this wasn’t a Jedi thing._

_It’s not_. Kylo frowned, trying to remember why the wizard wasn’t a Jedi. _He wasn’t a wizard because he could use the Force. He could do things… like, I remember he aged backwards and could turn into animals and things._

_Aged backwards? Like, he was born an old man and got younger?_

_I can’t remember, but yeah, I think so. He also knew everything that was going to happen._

_You said that’s a Force power._

_Yes, but I don’t think he was a Force user. He knew the future because he had already lived it, but hadn’t lived the past yet. That’s not how the Force works. Force users also can’t turn into animals. And he definitely wasn’t a Jedi. This magician dies when he lets himself get tricked into a cave by a woman that seduces him. My uncle wouldn’t have told me a story about a Dark Side user, so I think it was just an old legend._

_Your uncle wouldn’t tell you a story about a Dark Side user, but would tell you about a horny old wizard that meets his end when he follows a beautiful woman into a cave?_

Kylo sat and thought about that a moment, unsure what to make of it. _Yeah, I guess so._

Hux turned away, towards the wall, returning his tray to the small end table. _Whatever. So, he knew the future? How did he rule?_

_No, he wasn’t the ruler, the boy was._

_I thought the boy was nobody._

_He was the main character!_ Kylo was getting exasperated at Hux’s constant interruption, and shouted out loud without thinking. “Am I going to tell you the story, or are you going to tell it to me?”

Hux blinked at him a moment, then recovered smoothly. “Nobody’s telling a story. Go back to breakfast.”

Kylo looked down at his empty plate and thought about challenging Hux out loud about what, exactly, he was supposed to do with his breakfast. But he was torn between anger, the desire to be a smart-ass, and wanting to continue the story. He sat and fumed in silence until Hux sighed again.

_Tell me the fucking story, if you’re going to sit and pout about it._

Kylo smiled down at his plate, mollified, and thought about the old legend some more.

_The boy is nobody, but the wizard… kind of trains him to rule, in the first part. They both get turned into different animals, and the boy learns about war, and how unpleasant it is, and that animals are mostly better off without it. So as a man, the boy believes strongly in justice, and doesn’t make war unless he has to. Because he wants to believe people can do what’s right without being forced to._

Hux thought about this a moment. Kylo was surprised to find that this set of morals seemed to appeal to Hux. To Kylo, this was at odds with being the head of the First Order, and didn’t seem to mix well with his love for ruthless takeover strategies. As he wondered what part of Hux’s recent plans against the Farr smugglers had to do with justice, he was unexpectedly brought back to the topic at hand by Hux.

_I’m pretty sure this is a Jedi legend._

Kylo thought about it some more, and laughed aloud, which surprised Hux, and that only made him happier. _No, it’s definitely not. Remember how you asked me about the horny old man? Well, there’s more of that._

_Your uncle must have been fond of sexually explicit legends._

_No, really, just this one. It was long, and it would take several months for him to reach the end. When he did, I would beg him to start at the beginning._

_So who fucks who, then? Does the young man have to marry a female ruler to get his power?_

_No, his power had something to do with a weapon, I think._

Hux scowled. He was looking right at Kylo, cameras forgotten. Kylo didn’t care, though he told himself he should.

Hux thought about gaining a power to rule through a weapon. _That’s stupid._

Kylo thought about reminding him of Starkiller Base, which Hux was not currently thinking about.  But while this would feel good, it would also start a fight, and he wanted to finish the story.  So he shrugged and let it go. _It’s just a story._

_So does he use the weapon to kill people? Is that his justice?_

_I can’t remember what he does with the weapon, I don’t think it’s important after he’s ruler. He doesn’t really fight people. It’s eventually about different people. The main character later is the greatest warrior in the ruler’s army. He has the strength of ten men, but is so ugly that nobody will talk to him. He falls in love with the ruler’s wife, and she with him. The ruler ignores it, because he loves them both and wants them to be happy together._

Hux’s interest waned again. Kylo should have known he wouldn’t be interested in a love story. Hux hadn’t heard the legend before, though, and wanted to hear more, mostly out of boredom. _That’s fairly unorthodox, for a legend being told to a child. Does the ruler abdicate and let the warrior take his place, because he’s stronger and loves the other ruler?_

No, the warrior and the ruler’s wife were both ashamed of what they’d done… Kylo thought about it a moment. Yeah, I think it ends when the ruler’s son… he trailed off. _The ruler fucked his sister at the beginning of the story, and their bastard son comes back later and kills him._

Hux seemed stunned by this revelation, and sat in silence for a few moments, processing it. _What kind of story did your uncle tell you? And how old were you when you read it again and again?_

_Yeah, I’m not sure where the moral is in all that._

They stopped talking after that, both absorbed in the bizarre legend. After deciding he’d made enough conversation for the day, Kylo rose and went to one of the beds, wanting to be alone with his thoughts.

Both he and Luke had loved the story. Despite the romantic elements, it did reek of Jedi training, though Kylo was still fairy sure it wasn’t that. And the romantic elements all ended badly, anyway. But he had remembered liking the knight at the end of the story. He was stronger than anyone, and could have anything with the blessing of the ruler, but not the one thing he wanted.

Luke had, predictably, liked the ruler, the boy who grew up to be someone powerful and was killed by his own son at the end of the story. Kylo wondered if Luke saw himself or Anakin Skywalker in the role. Wondered if he saw more of himself in it after Kylo had run away.

He rolled over onto his side to face the wall, absurdly missing Luke Skywalker, superstitiously afraid that he could hear Kylo thinking about him from wherever he was.

Kylo had genuinely enjoyed the story as a child, and the two had gone to sleep reading it aloud together every night until Kylo killed all the other Jedi students and ran away.

He regretted not having a copy after he fled Luke’s home, and had trouble sleeping for a long time after that. He told himself it was because he couldn’t read that stupid legend anymore, and nothing else would do. He’d searched, briefly, to see if he could find it again, to see if it would help him sleep at night. But even when he could remember the title, he had never found a trace of it anywhere but in Luke’s house.

One particular line, a favorite of Luke’s, ran through his head over and over again. He closed his eyes and put his hands over his face, trying to release his consciousness and meditate in the Force to get rid of it, but part of him was afraid the litany would attract Luke, the only other powerful Force user in the galaxy, and maybe the only other sentient being that loved that stupid story as much as Kylo had.

_Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Luke's bedtime story is The Once and Future King, by T.H. White.


	11. Chapter 11

Kylo was extremely careful about his plans, as he knew Hux would resist if he did it wrong. Which was ridiculous, because these people could care less if the two Stormtroopers had a sexual liaison. It would probably only make the staff like them more. Or it would make them more curious, because the mental image of Hux sucking his own dick was admittedly weird. But anyway, it wouldn't hurt, it would only make the two of them look more human.

So after milling around the cell all day, both leaving the other to their own thoughts, they went to bed separately. Kylo put the lights out and noticed there was a darkness-activated security light that ran the length of one wall that cast a pale glow over the room. He was careful to toss and turn, to keep himself up all night. Which was easier than he thought, as he kept himself aroused with the visions he'd had of fucking Hux.

The second full day on the base, someone arrived at the room and issued them both dull grey jumpers, what Kylo took to be the standard-issue grunt uniform for the base. Theirs was simply a bodysuit that zipped up the front without a belt, but the variations for different positions appeared to include insignia, belts, and different colors and styles of jacket. There was underwear and a shirt to wear beneath, but Kylo hated the style, and didn’t wear them.

He spared a thought to wonder why it had taken so long for the base to issue them new uniforms. Theirs weren’t in bad shape, but they had been wearing them for two days, and Hux’s was bloodstained from the field dressing he had done. Neither of them had showered, for lack of something clean to change into. It seemed unlike the rest of the humane treatment they had been given. But Kylo put the thought out of his mind. Maybe it was just an anomaly.

Kylo showered, and realized with a mix of regret and joy that he was going to need Hux’s help with certain ablutions. He pulled on the jumper and zipped it up, considering the discarded Stormtrooper outfit.

“What should I do with my old clothes?” This seemed like a safe enough question to ask out loud, and he kept his eyes carefully pinned on the floor, not moving them up the wall or turning to look at Hux through the door.

“Throw them in the garbage chute. Do we have one of those?”

Kylo carefully moved his eyes around the room until he found one, slightly larger than the palm of his hand.

“There’s a small one. I can probably stuff the outfit into it.”

“Let them burn it, then.”

Hux hadn’t used the shower yet, and as Kylo retrieved the uniform and stuffed it down the chute, his eyes avoiding the opposite wall, he put out his plea to Hux.

_You have to help me with something._

Annoyance, but low level. _Do you need my help burning your clothes?_

_No. I can’t… really groom myself while I’m holding the illusion. You’re going to have to shave me and brush my hair._

Hux strenuously didn’t believe him, didn’t even take a moment to process whether Kylo’s reasoning was sound. When he didn’t respond, aside from glowering mental annoyance, Kylo tried again.

_I’m serious. If I do this myself, I’ll become too aware of what I actually look like, and my control of the illusion will fall. They’ll see me on the cameras._

_We don’t have time for your childishness. Don’t think I don’t know where this is going._

Hux wasn’t wrong, but this honestly was just a bonus. He couldn’t think of what would convince him, other than the truth.

_I need to shave and brush my hair. I can’t shave without feeling my own, real face. Same with my hair. That’s all I want you to do. I won’t touch you, I promise._

_‘That’s all’? That’s plenty. I don’t go around shaving and combing grown men. Besides, can’t you just mask a beard and messy hair under the illusion?_

Hux was adamantly opposed to this, and Kylo couldn’t sense a single crack in his resolve not to, or his suspicion that Kylo was lying. Kylo was growing frustrated, groped mentally for some way to appeal to Hux’s nature.

_Would you want to go around with a beard and messy hair? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t. Please. I’ll do it myself if you won’t, but if I can’t hold my disguise in place, we’re both going to have to make a quick getaway. All because you wouldn’t do this one simple fucking thing._

Hux had a brief mental struggle over whether Kylo was lying or telling the truth. Kylo knew that Hux would ultimately decide that he didn’t care about Kylo, and he could do these things because he wanted to continue the mission and Kylo was an impediment.  Kylo wasn't sure if he enjoyed how predictable Hux was, or would rather he just reacted to things like a regular human being.  Fuck's sake, he wasn't asking for anything difficult.

It hurt, but he reminded himself that this was enough, for now, and he would get more later.

Hux was still teetering on the mental brink, so Kylo pushed harder with reassurance and slight taunting.

_I said I won't touch you. I’ll sit on my hands if you’re that frightened of me._

That did it, and Hux came into the bathroom, appraising Kylo.

Kylo kept his face carefully blank, and put his back to the huge, wall-sized mirror. He could deal with catching Hux’s reflection instead of his own in glimpses, and he would sometimes check his reflection to make sure the illusion was still in place. But staring into a mirror this large, by himself, especially when he was naked, was too much trouble. As much as he would have liked to have abused his borrowed disguise, he couldn’t without dropping it.

He thought about this while looking into Hux’s face as Hux took the shaving accoutrement from him. He didn’t break eye contact as Hux soaped his face, though he was thrilling all over with the surprisingly gentle touch of Hux’s palm against his cheek, his stubble rasping against the smooth flesh of Hux’s hand and the cool touch of the gel he was spreading onto his cheeks and chin. A warm throb went through him, and he nearly broke eye contact to close his eyes to will away an erection. He did a quick mental calculation to determine that the loose-fitting jumper would probably conceal better than the tight under-armor did, and decided to keep his eyes open.

Hux turned slightly to rinse his hand in the sink, then turned back and raised the blade to Kylo’s face, beginning. His brows creased slightly as the weight of Kylo’s scrutiny began to make him uncomfortable.

_Must you stare at me like that? Shouldn’t you be closing your eyes and concentrating on keeping your spell in place, or whatever?_

_Staring at your face is reminding me of what mine is supposed to look like._

Hux paused long enough to close his eyes and release an annoyed exhalation of breath. _I don’t have time for this._

_Don’t have time? We just spent a whole day in a jail cell, doing nothing. We don’t even have anything to read, and won’t be doing anything active until we’re allowed to move more freely. It seems like ‘this stuff’ is what we do have time for._

Hux glanced into his eyes before returning his gaze to the line of Kylo’s chin. _You know my proclivities. When I say I don’t have time, I mean I don’t want to. I have no interest, outside of working with you on First Order business._

Hux frowned at his own bluntness, as his words were more like his true, unfiltered thoughts than he intended, and would have normally kept them back. They hurt, and Kylo knew they were true, but he also knew that Hux was being more honest with him than he would be with anyone else. Hux was letting him close. It was a small victory. Kylo pressed.

_But you like having sex._

_Yes. I enjoyed that._

_We can keep doing that._

_Not on this mission. And I don’t intend to keep that up after, either. It was too distracting. It interfered with my concentration for more important tasks.  I decided not to do it again.  It was too distracting, too disruptive._

_Because you liked it so much._

_Because I liked it too much._

At this, Hux’s eyes didn’t lift to Kylo’s. Hux didn’t feel any particular affection or embarrassment regarding the admission. It was a fact, something he’d run through his mind a lot after sending Kylo away, and he’d arrived at this conclusion. There was no regret, nothing. It was simply something he’d done, and something he’d decided not to do anymore.

As much time as Kylo had spent drowning himself in Hux's thoughts since they'd met back up on the Pandora, he would never stop marveling at the way Hux's mind worked.  To Hux, things really were this simple, this black and white.  He either cared, or he didn't, usually the latter.  Either he wanted something, or he wanted nothing to do with it.  After he'd taken a short time to consider a thing's place, he gave it a title, and used it (or not) accordingly.  There was no feeling, no emotion, no consideration for others.  Upsetting the status quo made him mad, but that was almost the only opinion he registered.  He simply didn't seem to know how to think like a regular person, didn't act like anyone else Kylo had met.  Finding that he, somehow, had arousal bottled up and buried under his fury had been one of the most beautiful and perfect discoveries of Kylo's life, like finding the only present he had ever wanted, and it was just for him.

Not that Hux felt that way.  Or ever would.

Kylo realized, with some disappointment, that continuing this conversation was a more masochistic task than he would normally tolerate. But he was going to press Hux more anyway, because Hux was leaning in, inches from his own face, letting him stare as much as he liked, and Kylo could imagine feeling Hux’s breath tickling across his smooth, damp cheek and wanted badly for Hux to lean in and kiss him. Hux would never do that. But the thought of it was only twisting the knot of arousal in his stomach further.

Before Kylo could think of what to say to continue, he felt a sting on his right cheek. Hux jerked his hand away, studying his face.

 _I cut you somehow. I’m not sure how._ He stared at the razor, which had a few beads of blood on it.

Kylo squinted at the blade, before remembering. _The scar on my face, you hit it. It’s still there, you just can’t see it_.

Hux frowned, looking at Kylo’s face. _This is complicated. So your face is still under my face? But everything felt right while I was shaving it._

 _That’s part of the illusion, but… yes, you were actually shaving my face, and…_ He felt his concentration waver with the effort of trying to explain this to Hux, who wouldn’t understand. _Look, I can’t really talk you through this right now, or I’ll drop the disguise. Never mind, I’m going to have to deal with facial hair._

Hux’s face folded in distaste for a moment before he smoothed it and continued. He hated the thought of Kylo being only half-shaved. _No, I remember where the scar is on your face. I can shave around it._

Kylo’s eyes met Hux’s again, this time in disbelief. _You remember my face that well?_

Hux was slightly annoyed. _I remember everyone’s face fairly well, but yes, I know where your scar is. Can I…_ Kylo felt him resisting against the question, and he subconsciously leaned forward, hoping Hux would come out with whatever it was he found so distasteful to ask. Kylo didn’t look, wanting the surprise.

_Can I run my finger along it, so I can mark where it is in the gel, you cal tell me if I’m right, and I can shave around it?_

Kylo’s mind ground to a halt with the question. Was Hux really asking if he could touch his face? Was Hux really going to do something… so intimate that Kylo could barely hope-

_Fuck’s sake, I can feel how excited you are. Are you going to be able to do this or not?_

Kylo exhaled, and calmed himself, closing his eyes. He would have to cling hard to the illusion in the center of his mind to be able to hold it while Hux ran his finger along his scar, but he thought he could do it.

It was a stupid risk, but he wanted it very badly.

_Yes, do it._

It was easier than he thought, his desire and lust feeding into his control of the Force, making it very easy to maintain. He kept his eyes closed, a concession to Hux, as Hux quickly finished. Hux handed him a towel, and Kylo wiped off his face. He glanced around the room, eyes landing on the small metal shelf with the stock bathroom and grooming supplies, including a comb. Kylo found that Hux was as fascinated by this detail as he had been. Why would they give prisoners all these items?

Hux picked up the comb and looked at it. It wasn’t very sturdy, but Hux was thinking about attacking a guard with it. Intrigued, Kylo waited until the amusing scenario played out in Hux’s head before bringing him back to the task at hand.

_Do it fast. Don’t ask me about it if something doesn’t feel right. My illusion isn’t going to be great under scrutiny from you, since you’re the only one who knows what you and I actually look like. If you question it, I might lose it._

Kylo thought that having Hux’s fingers play through his hair and scalp might provide him with a strong enough feeling to channel into his hold on the illusion, but it would be dicey. He wanted to try it, because he didn’t relish the thought of going around for days with matted hair. He closed his eyes, standing in place and waiting for Hux to start. He pulled himself out of Hux’s mind, doing so with enough of a pull that he hoped Hux could tell.

“I don’t love this.” Hux was mumbling, and Kylo almost opened his eyes before Hux began roughly jerking his scalp.

Kylo yelped, hoping that conversation might help keep them both distracted. “Because you don’t like touching my hair.”

“Because it’s like looking into a fucking mirror that I can reach into and touch myself on the other side. It’s creepy.”

“You’re saying this out loud.”

“I’m brushing my own hair on another person. Besides, it’s a waste of time to watch the security feed in the bathroom. They’re probably just waiting for us to both go out in the front room, dressed, before they come to collect us.”

Kylo shrugged. “If you say so. Seems like a strange risk, from you.”

“Well, then they’ll know we’re less nice to each other than we are to other people. I don’t have a problem with that.”

“You can be nice to me, if you want.”

“I don’t.”

Hux was jerking the tangles out of his hair hard enough to give Kylo the beginnings of a headache. While not inside Hux's head, Kylo could pretend that this was a practicality, rather than a cruelty, to speed up the process. He told himself that this was extremely likely.

When Hux had got all the knots out, he began to quickly style it. Kylo smirked when he realized he was parting his hair the exact way he did it on himself.

“How did you wash this, anyway?”

Kylo sighed. “Not very well. I dumped the stuff in- Oh, there’s a bunch of stuff in there, by the way, all sorts of soap. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Which was both in character and true. Neither Kylo nor Hux, nor any of the officers in the First Order as far as Kylo knew, had anywhere near the range of grooming products in the bathroom as this prison did. It really was remarkable.

“I dumped the stuff in and just ran my fingers into my scalp quickly. It’s annoying, because I can’t wash it very well, but it helps that I don’t have to look into a mirror or have my hands in it that long. It should be fine.”

“Well, I hope that gets better.” This was cryptic, and Kylo couldn’t tell if it was for him or Hux. Hux took the comb out of his hair, and Kylo heard him take a step back.

“Do I look like you, but clean?”

Hux scowled. “Yes. Get out of here and let me use this luxurious bathroom.”

Satisfied, Kylo strolled out of the bathroom and stretched out on the couch. He was still exhausted from his missed night’s sleep, and he allowed himself to doze while Hux was in the shower.

He was surprised when Hux woke him up later kneeling next to the couch, a gentle touch on his arm, mumbling his fake code name in his ear. He smelled the soap on Hux, and blinked a few times in confusion at the intimacy, staring into what appeared to be Hux's concerned blue eyes. It took him a moment to remember what was happening, during which time he was confused enough to nearly drop his disguise. He grounded himself in Hux’s mind to find that Hux had taken this approach to not startle Kylo, since he had been ready to attack the last person that came into the room while he was sleeping.

Hux stood and turned towards the guard, beginning to reassure him about something. Kylo felt Hux’s mild annoyance at the thought that Kylo needed to be treated so delicately. He thought about reminding Hux that being prepared to attack strangers from a dead sleep was a useful skill to have in their situation, but he wasn’t sure if Hux would agree with him, so he left it, following Hux and the guard out of the cell.

The two were separated and interrogated for hours, Kylo in a cell identical to the plain room he had seen on his first day in the base. Kylo kept a mental link with Hux, who was in a similar room nearby, to make sure their stories matched. Hux seemed to have anticipated all the questions, and had the answers planned down to small divergences, which would make the recollections look more authentic. No two people ever gave the same version of the same story.

The mental energy required to keep in constant contact with Hux between rooms all day wiped him out, but he managed to feign wakefulness another night.

The third full day on the base, they were separated again, and searched thoroughly. Really thoroughly. Scanned again and again, and again. They didn’t question the stone around Kylo’s neck. Kylo kept quiet through this, and didn't bother with the mental link to Hux. They weren't asking him any questions. He did manage to sleep for a handful of hours while laying on a table, getting scanned and probed and whatever else they felt like doing. The only thing he feared was a midi-chlorian count, and they hadn't done that. Foolish. The First Order always tested for that, mostly at the insistence of Snoke. And Kylo.

He could feel Hux's barely contained anger at the lack of contact through the day when they met again, in the mess hall of the base. Kylo had been informed they would be let out of their cell to dine with the rest of the staff, but they would still need to stay otherwise isolated for a bit longer.

Kylo wanted to be happy about Hux’s anger, pretend he was mad because he missed having Kylo in his head, but Kylo knew it was because Hux didn’t trust him by himself. He didn’t even have to check.

There were quiet murmurings as the two of them stood in line for their meals, blending in reasonably well with the rest of the staff. They likely would have blended in, even looking alike, if Hux weren’t tall and orange-haired. Kylo probably looked very tired, which was authentic, and Hux put on a show of meekness. The two sat by themselves in the corner, away from the other soldiers. Kylo felt the fury, barely masked, radiating from Hux, and could sense Hux's furious efforts to sling mental questions at him. Kylo ignored him, staring down, exhausted, at his meal.

While Kylo was trying to muster the energy to eat his dinner, a group of people ran into the mess hall, chattering excitedly. Kylo squinted, trying to gather enthusiasm and concentration enough to spy on them, when he heard enough through the low murmurings to determine why the Resistance were so agitated. The First Order attack on the Farr Convoy. He had foreseen the success, and judging by how agitated these soldiers were, he had been right. He darted a glance at Hux, who look puzzled, genuinely, apparently not overhearing the same snatches of conversation that Kylo had.

Kylo made no effort to enter Hux’s mind and ease his confusion. He decided it might be better if they appeared completely ignorant of what was happening. Keeping this from Hux was somewhat spiteful, however, since Hux was a good enough actor that he could conceal his true feelings. The bigger risk was Kylo, who was too tired and detached to care or register any sort of opinions, verbal, physical, or otherwise, right now.

He and Hux finished their meal, and went un-escorted back to their prison cell.

Then, Kylo put his plan into motion, willing the fatigue away. Persistence would be worth it.

He collapsed onto the bed, closing his eyes. "I'm tired! I didn't know that testing would be so exhausting." He hoped this sounded suitably harmless out loud, and not nearly as rehearsed as he feared.

"I'm sure you're tired, you haven't been sleeping. I can hear you rolling around all night." Hux sounded appropriately concerned, but the offhand comment caused Kylo's eyes to shoot back open. He hadn't known that Hux had noticed, or cared.

He corrected himself. Hux probably hadn't cared, unless it kept him up at night.

"Do you mind if we go to bed early tonight?" Kylo sat up, propping himself up on his elbow.

Hux looked from Kylo to the bathroom. "No... no. That's fine. Do you mind if I shower before we turn the light off?"

“You showered this morning.”

Hux glanced at him, annoyance on his face. Kylo was surprised for a moment, before he remembered that Hux had decided to be more of himself in the rooms, for whatever reason.

“I’m showering again. It feels like a luxury, and I’d like to indulge.”

Kylo badly wanted to do a mental link with Hux, because this was unusual and out of character, but he waited. "That makes sense. Go ahead. I'll get changed out here, you go ahead and shower. Turn the light off when you go to bed.”

As Hux was taking a shower, Kylo got into the Resistance pajamas (a sort of loose-fitting pants and large tunic set, cream-colored, not really Kylo’s preferred sleepwear) and got into bed. He had needed to dress sort of hunched over, as he had an erection. He ran through a mental list of everything he wanted to do, then pared it down to the bare minimum of what Hux would probably let him do.

When Hux came out of the shower, Kylo made sure he was laying on his side, facing the other bed. Hux dutifully turned the light off and got into his own bed, bathed in the soft blue glow of the security light.

Kylo rolled onto his back, making as much noise as possible. "I think it's the light that's bothering me. Do you mind if I pull it out?"

Hux didn't answer. Kylo was fairly certain Hux could see where this was going. It took all of Kylo's restraint not to look into Hux's mind. He would make it pitch dark. Then he would enter Hux's mind. If he really didn't want it, he wouldn't go any further.

Hux was still silent, so Kylo Force-rolled him onto his side and made him say, "I hope it helps."

"...I'm having trouble with the bed, too. I'm used to the floor and bedrolls... the bed is more comfortable, but I feel like it's too narrow. Do you mind if I push them together? I think I'll feel better that way."

Kylo knew this was too obvious, but again, he was fairly sure the staff didn't care what they did to each other outside of murder. Which Hux might do to Kylo, if this didn't go well. A shiver of anticipation ran down Kylo's back at the thought. Hux would have to be clever indeed to pull it off, and Kylo would love to see the plan. Of all the people in the galaxy, he was sure that only Hux was smart enough to actually kill him. The thought excited him, especially in light of what was about to happen.

He made a sound of confirmation come from Hux, and kept Hux pinned in place as he pushed the beds together, trying not to do it too fast or too eagerly. He took slow and deliberate strides across the room and worked the bulb loose in the light, plunging them into perfect darkness. Then he did a mental scan of the security guard monitoring them. There was some slight concern about the blackout, but Kylo erased the concern, and then implanted the thought that it's fine as long as they could sleep. They weren't contacting the First Order from their room.

Then, in his excitement, he Force-levitated Hux into a kneeling position, facing the wall, his hands in his lap. Kylo climbed into the bed behind him, standing on his knees. He reached around, grabbed both of Hux’s wrists, then yanked his arms behind his back and pinned them with his hands, twisting them at an awkward, painful angle. He knew exactly how far he could go before it would do damage. He squeezed Hux’s wrists hard enough to feel the bones grind together, thrumming with anticipation.

He then made the mental connection to Hux. Guiltily. He should have asked before binding Hux, but really, it wasn't much different than Force-choking him, the tried and true Sith punishment.

Even from the barest touch on Hux's mind, the wave of anger and arousal hit Kylo so hard he nearly came. He clenched his jaw against a moan, marveling at how someone like Hux, who barely felt at all, could feel so strongly about this. He had forgotten. It had been so long.  He had forgotten how Hux, who went through life content to simply go through the motions and do the best he could at self-appointed tasks, could _want_.  Hux's wanting, his lust, was much stronger than anyone Kylo had ever met, another complete surprise to find inside Hux.  That Hux could _want_ Kylo in this way, that anyone could want Kylo, let alone the person he had been obsessing over for years... it was too much.  He had been so overcome, when he had realized.  He couldn't believe he had kept it from Hux.  But he also knew that Hux wouldn't want an admission like this from him.

He was relieved that he was too far away from Hux for the man to feel Kylo’s knees shaking and weak, and thanked whatever Force Ghost was listening for siring a line that led directly to Kylo, who was proudly using his powers to see in the dark and manhandle someone for sexual pleasure. He was fairly certain this was an excellent use of the Dark Side.

He looked around to the cameras again, ran his mind through the circuits. He didn't have much of a head for electronics, so he rifled through Hux's memories, which didn't make much sense to him. Nearly moaning aloud in frustration, he settled on freezing the mic components in the cameras, so they couldn't transmit sound. He wanted to make noise. He switched his focus back to Hux, who was trying to pull his wrists out of Kylo’s grip, which was beginning to slick with sweat.

The thought of being found out, the fury at Kylo's audacity, and being forced to kneel and face a wall in a Resistance prison was nearly too much for Hux. He was angry, and the arousal had been an almost immediate thing when Kylo seized control of his body. Kylo grabbed both of Hux’s wrists in one sweating hand so he could reach around and run his fingers along Hux’s erection, which was straining against the front of his loose-fitting pants. He pulled his teasing grip away and Force-clamped the base of Hux's erection, moving his hand up to Hux’s mouth and inserting three of his fingers, wondering if Hux would bite down on them. "Not yet, Commander General. You'll only come with my permission, tonight."

He had changed his voice and appearance back to his own. The appearance part would be lost on Hux, but he hoped his own threatening voice would strike a chord. He could feel waves of arousal in Hux surging against the threat. Kylo continued.

"Ahh... in fact, I think we have a matter to address between us, regarding that." Kylo dug through Hux's mind and found the memory of Kylo's last night on the _Endurance_ , the Destroyer they had launched their current mission from. Hux had masturbated to the thought of Kylo dominating him in his own room, just before showering and retiring for the night. Kylo showed this to Hux.

Kylo had, of course, felt this across the ship, and had his own alone time with the thought of having his way with Hux. But Hux didn't need to know that.

"Did you touch yourself without my permission, Commander General?"

He pulled his saliva-slicked fingers from Hux's mouth. Hux protested. "I didn't-"

Kylo left his hand on Hux’s chin, and used the Force to cut Hux off in mid-sentence, jerking roughly. "No excuses. Yes or no, Commander General?"

Loosening the Force hold on Hux's throat, Hux got out a strained "Yes."

Kylo tightened it painfully, and released again. "Perhaps you're too stupid to remember the lesson from last time. When I want answers, I want them nice and loud."

"Yes!" Hux gasped, louder this time. Kylo still had a Force grip on the base of his cock, and was still holding his hands from behind. He debated turning Hux around so they would face each other, but the effect would be lost on Hux. That didn’t matter a great deal to Hux right now, and Kylo would be able to see Hux’s face, so he thought about doing it anyway. But it was easier to touch Hux from behind, so he kept Hux clamped firmly in place, pressing his chest between Hux's arms and leaning forward.

"We're learning things the hard way tonight. This lesson is so that you'll remember never to touch yourself where I can't see you. Do you understand?"

"Yes!" Hux yelled again, nearly moaning.

Kylo bent and hissed warm breath against Hux's neck and ear, inhaling, smelling the soap and Hux’s hair and Hux. "What punishment do you deserve?"

Hux only moaned. Arousal flooded Kylo, that he had the tightly restrained man moaning, pinned beneath his grip and his power, that he could do anything at all to Hux right now and Hux would moan and writhe and come and want more desperately and passionately than he did anything else in his life.  Hux, who felt nothing, except when he was doing this with Kylo.

Riding the waves of Hux’s lust was proving to be too much, Kylo was losing himself to feeling, to the Force, in a way that was heady and disconcerting and dangerous. He never felt as powerful as he did when he was with Hux, and he had somehow forgotten just how good, how fucking perfect they were together, just like this. But he didn’t know what to do with himself, with the Force he felt surging through every part of him, through Hux, and if he didn’t do something he was going to come and dissolve and die in it, and he wasn’t sure if that was possible but it felt like it was in this exact moment. He pulled nearly all the way out of Hux’s mind to continue.

Kylo reached up and trailed the fingers of his right hand along Hux's jaw, a slight stubble present. Hux hadn’t shaved during his most recent shower, and his skin had roughened through the day.

Kylo lost some forward momentum when he realized he didn't have many options for punishment. He thought Hux might respond well to corporal punishment, but he didn't have anything to whip or cane him with. Fuck. He looked around the room, desperate for anything he could use. His bare hand would have to do. Grounding himself in practical concerns, he lamented the loss of the elaborate disrobing procedures they used on the _Pandora_. But he was determined to make this work.

He kept Hux frozen in place just as he was being held, and he crawled back across the bed to yank his own pajamas off. Hopping back in and sliding behind Hux, whose arms were still bent painfully behind him, he realized he was going to have a problem coming up with a way to undress Hux. He was going to have to unfreeze him and have him do it himself.

But he couldn’t wait that long. So he used the Force to split the seams of his pants and tunic, and sent the garments flying off elsewhere in the room. It was easy. He felt like he could do anything, right now, even without being in Hux’s head and feeding off his feelings. He scooted Hux back away from the wall, closer to himself.

He ran the fingers of one hand lightly down Hux's back, which was beginning to dampen with sweat, his twisted arms and hands slick with it, Hux struggling weakly, still, against the hold. He cupped the back of Hux’s neck briefly before running his fingers through his hair, which was still damp from the shower and very soft. He closed his eyes, adding the texture, the feel, to his mental image of Hux. It would help the illusion, it would help the next time Hux had to comb his hair, but it was also for himself.

And with that thought, he used the Force to bend Hux over and struck Hux sharply with his palm, raising a satisfying cracking sound throughout the room. Hux cried out roughly, his voice muffled from where Kylo had pressed his face against the mattress. He brushed against Hux’s thoughts lightly enough to find that the stinging sensation was pleasant, and Hux was going out of his mind from wanting to come against the Force Kylo was using at the base of his cock. His dick was straining, throbbing, extremely painful. Kylo pulled back, nearly shocked by the strength of it into letting it go, along with his own control. He tried to put his own arousal out of his mind, as much as possible, mastering it and trapping it, overpowering it, focusing on Hux, on the feel of Hux below his hands and pinned with the power of the Force. He closed his eyes and ran his hand over the warmed skin of Hux’s ass, feeling Hux shiver below the touch.

His fingers skated over and up Hux’s crack, and when he felt Hux flinch below the touch, he brought his hand up and down again in another flathanded strike, over the already-warmed flesh that had been slapped previously. He brushed against Hux’s mind, unable to help or control himself, to find Hux going nearly mad, his mental processes blurring, becoming less distinct.

"Tell me. Are you going to touch yourself again when I'm not around?" Kylo leaned over Hux, his unoccupied hand wrapping around Hux’s still-bound wrists, his stomach brushing against Hux’s hands and sweating back, his face nuzzling Hux’s neck, whispering into his ear again, blowing his breath ever so slightly into it.

 _Please, please, oh fuck please-_ Hux was screaming inside his head. Kylo could hear it, even with the barest minimum of contact.

This time, Kylo jerked up suddenly and his hand came down on the other side of Hux’s ass, the smacking sound echoing throughout the room, Hux bucking from the unexpected contact after the closer intimacy.

"Say it out loud."

_"No-"_

Hux moaned. Kylo slapped him again, and jerked the Force bonds around his body tighter for good measure.

"No what?"

"I won't- don't make me-"

Kylo slapped him again, harder. Hux moaned again. Kylo could feel Hux losing himself. He wasn't going to be coherent, or conscious, much longer. He was balanced along a perfect knife edge. Kylo would have to make this quick.

"Say what it is you want." At this, Kylo caressed Hux's stinging ass with both his hands, his hands stroking along the warmed flesh.

Hux didn't even hesitate. "Please! Please, please please-"

Kylo bent forward again and nibbled on Hux's earlobe. "What are you begging me for?"

"I need... need..." Hux was groaning, barely able to get the words out.

Hux. Begging him. This was. This was unspeakable. It was absolutely, just-

No.

It wasn’t Hux. But here he was, showing himself to Kylo in a way that he had never given to anyone else, and it was.

It was.

Kylo bit his earlobe, and pulled away. The arousal was tight in his belly, and Kylo was also approaching the limit of his own endurance, his own ability to hold back. He wanted one more thing, though.

"Commander General, it seems like you can barely control yourself. What am I to do with you, if you finish so quickly every time? And we haven't even gotten to me yet."

He wanted so badly to make Hux beg for an orgasm, to put the whole thing into words. He was almost sure he could do it now. But he thought it might be better to wait for it.

Instead, he sat Hux up and spun him around, briefly running his fingers up the length of Hux’s straining, painful erection, almost feeling bad about the delay. Hux was wracked with another spasm, another climax that was stemmed before it could escape.

His fingers came up and caressed the underside of Hux’s chin, pinching and gripping it roughly, pulling Hux’s face closer to his own. Hux was sweating, panting, straining.

Kylo wanted. He wanted Hux so badly. There were so many things that he could do, and Hux would beg him for every single one right now.

He wasn't going to last long, but he didn't think it mattered to either of them at this point. Sweat was dampening his hair, rolling down the back of his neck and the line of his jaw. It was taking an incredible amount of power and concentration to...

Dimly, he realized he wasn't even using Force power anymore, that their mutual animal need and arousal had caused his powers to temporarily flee from him. At some point, he had let go of Hux's mind, stopped monitoring his reactions, knew that he needed this as much as Kylo did right now. More, maybe. Hux was kneeling, with his hands behind his back and his face clenched in Kylo’s hand, because that’s where he wanted to be.  And Hux still hadn't come, even without Kylo's control over him.  Was he holding himself back because he didn't want to come without Kylo's permission?  Was that true?  How?

Kylo thought about asking for one more thing. He knew Hux would prefer him not to ask kindly.

"Suck it."

Hux immediately bent down and took Kylo’s erection into his mouth. He licked, nipped, and sucked enthusiastically. It was physically painful for Kylo to endure, but he wanted this so fucking bad, wanted it to last just a few seconds more, he held himself back, pulled every ounce of self-control he'd learned through meditation over the years to bear on the current situation, trying to divorce his mind from his body just long enough to make Hux suck longer-

But he was enjoying the bodily pleasures too much to control himself for long, and he came, pulling his erection free to come onto Hux's chest and face. He shouted an affirmation, and Hux came as well, spilling over both of them, his arousal slamming into Kylo, and Kylo had enough of a coherent thought to spare to be impressed that Hux had held out longer than he had. But that was the only sliver of consciousness he had to spare before they both blacked out.

Kylo remained kneeling upright, leaning against Hux’s back, who was hunched over on the bed. Both were panting, sweating, the double-orgasm rocked through his mind, and through Hux's, reverberating again and again and again. His cock strained, trying to empty more than it already had. It felt like Kylo's whole being was dissolving out of his skin, like he was becoming One with the Force. He thought he might be dying. His fear from earlier, about his lack of control over this situation, came back to haunt him. Had he lost control? Is this what it felt like?

Funny. He had been accused of it so often before. This was so personal, so profound. Dimly, he wondered if Hux felt like this. He couldn’t tell, felt like he couldn’t do anything. Might not be able to do anything ever again.  It had been worth it.

At that mental admission, the door opened, spilling light into the room. Kylo was still hunched over, but his blown-apart consciousness registered that it really would be better if Hux was hunched over him, because it was immediately obvious there was a stranger in the room.

The curious guard stuck a head in, and Kylo rolled over, off Hux, and onto his back, exposing himself as well as his face. Kylo immediately put his hand out, and held the guard and door in place. The other hand went to Hux's head, where he froze Hux.

He closed his eyes in a silent mental exultation that he had summoned enough control to use the Force. Would anyone else have been able to do so, under these circumstances? Probably not.

He breathed hard, trying to think of what to do. A full three minutes passed before he calmed down enough to realize the answer was simple.

"You checked on us. Both the clones were sleeping."

"I checked on you. Both of you were sleeping."

"Everything is fine."

"Everything is fine."

Kylo removed the memory of his own appearance from the guard's mind, searched it to see if the microphones had given them away. They had. Kylo removed that memory as well, and did the same to the person still watching the monitors. Then he dismissed the guard, making sure the door locked behind him.

Breathing out, he released Hux, who slumped flat on the bed. Kylo crawled up, grabbing Hux around the waist and dragging him up the bed with his arm, then covering them both with the blanket.

Hux was still a little too mind-blown to fully wrap his head around what had just happened. So was Kylo. Both understood that they had almost been caught, and that it had been nothing. Especially compared to what had happened between them. Hux was laying face-down into the pillows, and Kylo was face-up next to him. Both were breathing hard, still trying to think, or not to.

Kylo reached out his mind to Hux's, felt the emptiness, the contentment. Wrapping his own mind around this, he drifted off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Kylo woke two hours later to Hux drowsily rolling over onto his side, away from him. Kylo rolled behind him and threw his arm over his side. Kylo was still in Hux's mind, and Hux was drowsily trying a mental review of the evening's entertainments. Kylo watched the whole thing from Hux's perspective, thrilling with the sensation. He was embarrassed to see himself during the orgasm, where he'd taken such a powerful Force-grip on Hux's mind that Hux had somehow been able to see him in the dark, the same way Kylo could.

 _If it embarrasses you, don't do it._ Hux said simply.

_Go back to sleep._

He could feel Hux pondering why this embarrassed Kylo more than tying Hux up and making him suck his dick.

_Because it means I lost control of my power. I don't like it when that happens._

Hux was satisfied with this answer, seemed pleased, as much as he was ever pleased about anything. Thought about how he hated it when he lost his own power, when situations left his control.

_Actually, I think you do like it when you lose your power._

Hux pulled away from him angrily, but Kylo gripped him tighter with his arm, pulling him into his own chest.

_Am I wrong?_

Hux sulked. Kylo tried to go back to sleep again, but Hux was still rubbing his wrists and thinking about their earlier congress.

"You're not wrong." Hux said out loud.

"Does that mean I can do whatever I want?" Kylo whispered in Hux's ear. He hadn't turned back into Hux yet, and didn't want to speak loud enough for the cameras.

He could feel Hux mentally recoil at the thought of the cameras, and Kylo was overcome with embarrassment again at his own thoughts spilling into Hux.

_Really? Why is it okay for my thoughts to be on display and not yours?_

_I told you. I'm not doing it on purpose. I don't like it._

Hux exhaled, laughing slightly. Kylo buried his face in his neck, and he could feel Hux's wonder again that he was lazing in bed with a Sith Lord. Kylo was still thrilling with the sensation of what had happened earlier, and pulled away from Hux's thoughts a little, somewhat spitefully, worried that Hux would see too much.

As he was trying to drift off again, he could feel Hux thinking about the cameras, and the guard that had interrupted them. He wasn't embarrassed, or worried. Kylo could feel a slight awe in the assessment of Kylo's powers, like he could literally do almost anything imaginable.

 _Depends on your imagination_ , Kylo answered. _Go back to sleep._

At this, he did let his emotions spill over into Hux. Contentment, the residual mind-blowing fatigue. Hux began falling asleep again, still surprised that Kylo got as much out of their sex as he did. He sleepily began wondering about Kylo's other sex partners. A pang of embarrassment shot through Kylo, and Hux's mind sharpened, more alert. Hux was thinking of another time Kylo had gotten flustered by a reference to his sex life. Damn his memory and intuition. This wasn’t going to translate into jealousy or curiosity about what Kylo preferred in bed, this was just Hux being nosy, and he didn’t want to deal with it, and couldn’t think of a lie fast enough.

_Why embarrassment again?_

Kylo pulled out of Hux's mind completely, and rolled over. To his surprise, Hux followed him. Because of course he would seek intimacy when Kylo didn’t want it. Even if that’s not what this was.

"Tell me." Hux’s voice was firm, annoyed. Kylo would take pleasure in denying him, in revenge for Hux not actually caring about this.

Hux leaned into his back, and whispered into his ear. "Sith mind-invade me again, I want to know."

"No." Kylo hissed through his teeth, hating that Hux was using his admission about his own lack of control against him, hating Hux. For someone who needed a fucking map to find Kylo’s dick, he was doing an annoyingly good job at turning him on right now. That this was all accidental was both incredibly vexing and somehow more sexy, though he knew Hux would pull away and stop him if he rolled over to pursue. Kylo didn’t want to push him again tonight, had gotten much more than he had hoped for already. Part of him also hoped that Hux would just keep going with his ridiculous unintentional seduction.

Hux paused for a few moments, considering. Kylo was still refusing to read his thoughts, so he wasn’t sure what Hux was hung up on. When a few moments of silence passed, Hux tried again, whispering his logic in Kylo’s ear. "You're not hiding anything from me.  I've seen how social you are, so I know there can't have been many. And I've seen your fantasies, in case you thought those were secret, and they all involve me."

The thought of Hux seeing his fantasies made Kylo whither and die inside, and he very nearly reached out when he had a sudden and absurd impulse to find out what Hux thought of being fucked, which was the main content of those fantasies.  But he couldn't.  He hated that he had let Hux see so much. He curled in on himself, humiliated.

When Kylo still didn’t respond, he could feel Hux propping himself up behind him, laying a hand on Kylo’s shoulder, leaning in to whisper again. Hux’s palm was warm, and his skin prickled once again with the unintended intimacy.

“You’re the one that told me you wanted me to think about what you like. Tell me. Show me.”

He was doing it on purpose, the incredible shit. He couldn’t tell from Hux’s whispered tone of voice if he was asking to taunt Kylo, or if he was actually trying to seduce him.

Kylo gritted his teeth, and went into Hux's mind again. Hux was doing neither, he was just curious, and Kylo should have known better. The disappointment forced the admission from him. "None. There are none."

Hux was surprised, which also surprised Kylo. “I told you, I’m not attracted to people who are terrified of me.”

“Yes, you told me you were only attracted to me, which was incredibly touching, I’m sure,” this was so insulting that Kylo tried to pull away again, but Hux held firm to his shoulder and kept going, “But I assumed you had fucked other people. And, in case you forgot, I know you get turned on by people being terrified. I have experience with that.”

“No, that’s different. That gets you off. I told you.”

“I assume I’m not singular in this proclivity? There are a lot of other humans out there.”

Kylo thought about this a moment, thought about the other minds he’d touched. “No, you’re not. But you’re also not actually terrified of me, which makes a difference.” They’d been over this before, and Kylo hated that Hux was making him repeat himself.

He could feel Hux’s incredulous disbelief for a moment. Hux took his hand off Kylo’s shoulder and rolled over onto his back. “I’m having a hard time believing that you were born terrifying. Certainly there was a time in your life when people weren’t scared of you? Or did you have a habit of sulking around in a mask, driving people away as a teenager, too?”

Kylo curled up on himself further, trying to tell himself that Hux was curious about him, and this was a good thing, and that he already knew that Hux has no idea how to be sensitive.

“No. Certainly you can sympathize with… not fitting in.” He paused. “You can’t sympathize, I suppose. I didn’t exactly seduce anyone as a teenager, or later. Obviously.”

“You’re not seducing anyone now, either. So that doesn’t mean you haven’t had a sex partner.”

He was angry, thought about getting up. Talking to Hux was a fucking waste of time, and he should know better than to open up to him. Hux wouldn’t, and couldn’t, understand how it felt to know exactly how disappointing you were every time you opened your mouth.

He felt humiliated as he sensed Hux’s exasperation, his confusion. Hux was fumbling mentally for what to do, had no idea why Kylo couldn’t answer a simple question.

_Why are you embarrassed about not having sex?_

_I'm a little fucking old for that, aren't I?_ He was absolutely humiliated having anybody, even Hux, know this about him.

_I don’t care. I haven’t either. I just assumed you knew what you were doing._

Kylo abruptly pulled out of his mind again, not wanting Hux to know the relief, excitement, comfort that came to him from that statement. "Perhaps you should be a little less proud of that, yourself. You're even older than I am"

"I really couldn’t care less."

Yes. Kylo knew. With that fire quenched, he went back into Hux's mind, determined to put this exchange out of its misery.

_All right then. Here we are, two virgins, just trying to get some sleep. If you don't go back to sleep, I'm going to make you._

He could feel Hux wonder if Kylo could make him sleep. He pulled up a memory of seeing Kylo do it before, considering, intrigued.

_Fuck's sake, you don't always have to be impressed._

_Do you know what I'd do if I had your power?_ Hux was indignant.

_I try not to think about it._

_No you don't. You think about it all the time._

This wasn't strictly true, it wasn’t all the time, but Kylo was unsure for a moment. Had to evaluate just how often the thoughts had occurred to him. He felt a spike of victory from Hux.

_You've thought about it before, at least._

_I have_ , Kylo admitted reluctantly.

He could feel Hux settle back into his thoughts, uncharacteristically... cheery. He could hear Hux going back over the conversation, lingering on Kylo's admission that he was too old to lack sexual experience.

_Am I still a virgin if I sucked your cock?_

"Are you fucking fifteen?" Kylo asked out loud, loudly, not meaning to.

Hux balked at the rebuke, angry again, rolled over to sulk.

Kylo followed this time, wrapping his arm around Hux.

He could hear Hux thinking to himself that this was more trouble than it was worth, then deciding that wasn't true. His thoughts went to the next day, to speculations about what they'd ask of them. He could feel Hux lulling himself to sleep with a mental list of possibilities and pros and cons for the Resistance.

Something else occurred to him, and before Kylo could tell quite what it was, Hux had rolled over to face him in the dark.

_You erased the memory from the guards that… heard us, and saw you, earlier._

_Yes?_

He felt Hux getting angry. _Then I don’t actually have to shave you and brush your hair. That’s just you being self-indulgent, and quite the spectacular liar._

Kylo pulled back slightly in the face of Hux’s fury, propping himself up on his elbow, alarmed. This was different than the usual, a genuine betrayal: Hux left himself open to Kylo, expecting honesty in return, and hadn’t gotten it. Hux apparently couldn’t abide liars among those he trusted.

 _No!_ Kylo protested vehemently. _No, it’s not that easy._

_I only have your word that it’s not, and evidence to suggest that it is._

_It looks easy, but…_ He put his hand over his face, not really liking having to explain the technicalities behind this, knowing he wasn’t very good at explaining. _Doing it from a distance like that… it’s hard, and…_

_If you can do it after being completely fucked out, it must not be that hard._

_No!_ He paused, lowering his head. _The cameras are recording, too. Even if it were easy enough to erase the memory of the guards, there would still be a record of my face, right? That would be bad, if someone reviewed security footage of us, for some reason?_

Hux sighed, still angry, still weary, but some of the sense of betrayal was receding. _I think you came up with that on the spot._

 _Please, I’m not… I’m not lying to you. I know you think that I can do anything,_ he could feel Hux’s slight annoyance with this, because it was true and a little childish, _but it’s better if I don’t have to. I’d rather not have to bend over backwards to erase people’s memories because I don’t want to walk around with a beard and matted hair. Can you believe me?_

Hux was beginning to calm down, and was teetering mentally with the decision to trust Kylo. Ultimately, he decided to take Kylo’s word for it. They were here, and that explanation made sense, and he even seemed a little convinced by Kylo's anxious sincerity, which had leaked into Hux's thoughts again. And to distrust Kylo at this point meant that Hux would likely have to make a quick escape from the Resistance base, as he refused to work this closely with someone he couldn’t trust. Kylo sensed a half-form thought about his own execution before Hux threw up a mental barrier. Intrigued, Kylo attacked it greedily.

“Enough.” Hux said aloud, piqued, rolling over onto his back. “I believe you, it’s enough. Calm down.”

Kylo blinked, letting his hopes soar, hating his optimism. “Will you keep doing it, then?” he whispered, meaning the morning rituals, pushing the rest of the question at Hux, unable to ask out loud.

“Fine. Just go to sleep.” He could sense Hux not wanting Kylo in his thoughts, trying to think of an easy way to mask them and calm himself to sleep. He began reviewing engineering drafts for some sort of plasma weapon that had been in development recently.

Kylo relaxed back on his side, throwing one arm over Hux again. Hux left it there, as was his habit. Kylo let himself relax, trying to separate himself from his thoughts, to focus on nothing. He was dimly aware of Hux drifting off to sleep, grabbing Kylo’s hand once again before doing so, not really aware of it.

Kylo smiled, thinking about his happiness again. It seemed wrong, but maybe only because he'd never been happy. He remembered suddenly to bring his Hux disguise back, a pang of anxiety about nearly forgetting quickly quashed. He allowed himself to fall asleep, his arm wrapped around Hux's chest, holding hands.


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo and Hux endured one more round of intense questioning. It was, of course, another test to see if their stories matched, with different interrogators and different questions. Kylo didn’t have to read their minds to see through it. The interrogators were satisfied, and the results were the same, since Kylo verified all his answers with Hux.

The next day, they were allowed to go to the cafeteria to eat with the regular shifts of soldiers. Kylo was surprised when a few soldiers gravitated to the two clones with, as far as he could tell, a genuine desire to be friendly and inclusive. Hux struck up superficial friendships with them, based on the same sorts of shallow topics he'd engaged the First Order officers in. Weapons, training techniques, places they'd been, and a handful of stories about what it was like to be clones. Kylo advised him on this, warning him that clones didn't really have much of an opinion on this, would have no point of reference, and would probably be a bit uncomfortable with the luxuries offered by the Resistance.

Eventually, they were allowed out of the base, free to go wherever they wanted outside.  While something in both Kylo and Hux still marveled at the kind way the Resistance treated prisoners, there really was little danger of letting them out, since the base seemed completely isolated in all directions, as far as Kylo could tell.  There were only a few scattered buildings, equipment centers, and Resistance-affiliated residential blocks clumped near the base.  Further away, only the humid pine forest stretched out over the planet's surface.  There were no houses, no villages, and no way for Kylo, Hux, or any other spy to contact anyone off-planet.  In theory.  Kylo and Hux had a method, of course, but they had no current use for it.

Kylo and Hux were watched, of course, but not in an obvious way. Their guards kept a distance. Kylo was only aware of the surveillance because he could feel the person, whenever they came out with them. The guard seemed strange to him, since there really wasn't anywhere for them to escape to. But he supposed they could be meeting with a First Order contact that had set up elsewhere on the planet, away from the base.  Ren and Hux eventually would have to do this. So there was some logic to observation, he supposed.

He and Hux frequently walked through the woods in silence, where Hux busied himself by mentally running through scenarios about how long they'd be on this isolated base. Kylo didn't mind the tedium of this activity, or the way it excluded him from Hux's company.  Kylo enjoyed being outside too much to really care. He’d always preferred being planetside to a ship, and he particularly enjoyed wooded areas. The pine forest on this planet, though oppressively hot and damp, was the kind of rare environment where he could have peace, when he could quiet his mind enough to find it. Kylo sometimes let Hux walk alone and took his leisure time sitting and meditating, testing for visions of the future, seeing how his powers ebbed and flowed. It was easier to do outdoors, with sweat trickling down his neck, than in the base, though the Force flowed the same through the organic life on the surface of the planet as it did through the life of the beings on the base. He simply preferred the non-sentient communion.

Kylo felt incredibly good since he'd started a more regular sexual relationship with Hux. He felt like having something that good was freeing him from worries he'd always possessed, an indescribable something that had always been wrapped around his mind, and the visions were coming easier now. Especially since he was no longer subconsciously seeking ways to trick Hux into his bed. Kylo saw snatches of the new base, though he couldn't tell when they would be there. A flash of the golden C-3PO. That was good.

And, admittedly, he did see a lot more of himself taking Hux, fucking him properly. These visions would hit him unexpectedly. He chose to calm his mind afterwards, though, rather than act on such feelings immediately.

But he was working up to it, slowly. He and Hux took pleasure in each other's company every two or three days. The mutual orgasms were so intense that they were both too wary of trying again after only one day, but craved it after two. Kylo had stolen rope, wire, and other things that were significantly more fun than the sheet. Although that was still a frequent aid.

Hux was enjoying it more and more. Humiliation, taking orders, sucking Kylo's dick... all of it.  Right now, he was working on making Hux beg, which he hadn't quite managed yet. Both of them usually climaxed so fast and hard that it drove one or both absolutely out of their minds.  Kylo was enjoying himself so much that he had to bite his own tongue to make sure it wasn't him that begged. 

He'd consulted with Hux about the microphones in the cameras, and Hux had helpfully mentally diagrammed the parts that could be detached and reattached to make them silent. Their sex was now very, very loud.

Kylo was almost giddy about the fact that Hux was enjoying their physical relationship as much as he was, growing to like it the same way Kylo did. It still felt like there was an essential part of Hux he wanted and would never have, but a physical relationship was better than anything Kylo had ever imagined.

He had plucked his share of sexual fantasies from other people's heads. He had gotten the domination fantasy from one person in particular... where was it? Kylo thought it might have been a village on Telmaira. The Knights of Ren had been sent to torture confessions out of certain villagers, looking for the location of a First Order ship that had been stolen. They had executed everyone in the village to hide their presence. Before executions, Kylo would sometimes devour the contents of a victim's mind, greedily wondering what made up lives other than his own. He was usually disappointed (everyone was so mundane), but one of these villagers, an older woman, had enjoyed a very violent sexual relationship with her husband, who had passed away from a heart attack while being dominated by his wife.

Kylo was so shocked by this realization that he'd almost spared her life. Another soldier had struck her down, mostly to spite Kylo.  Kylo often thought of her, and sometimes wondered what the woman’s opinion was of her husband’s death. The man had died happy, presumably doing what he loved, but the woman would never find another partner that suited her like he did.

It had stuck in Kylo's mind. Kylo had sustained himself, fueled his devotion to the Dark Side, by feeding off fantasies of being powerful. Sexual domination quickly became a favorite after that, but he knew from disappointing experience that he could not use his own power to compel others to have sex with him. The mental link, the pleasure, was too important. He had spied on enough sexual liaisons to want that pleasure badly.

Hux had been a fantasy of his, too. He was attractive, of course, and Kylo had sometimes allowed himself fantasies about being with attractive men. But when he imagined himself sexually dominating such a powerful man, someone who enjoyed control so much, who never showed any fear and to whom Kylo couldn't get mental access, whimpering while Kylo tied him up and forced him to his will... that's when Hux had become Kylo's go-to masturbation material, when the need came upon him.

Which wasn't often. He hadn't thought of ever taking it farther than that, though, until he found out that he and Hux were basically made for each other's sexual taste, in the most confusing up way possible.

Which was pretty much the only way for either of them, wasn't it?

So it went that Kylo enjoyed himself immensely while waiting to be transferred to a Resistance base.

After one particularly pleasant afternoon, after Hux had taken a lengthy walk and Kylo had soothed his mental soreness from the night before through meditation, the two were eating in the cafeteria when a group of soldiers ran in, loud and agitated, led by Admiral Jul

He could feel Hux's attention sharpen on the soldiers, subtly at first, and then openly when everyone in the hall began to quiet and focus on what the group was doing.

The soldiers assembled at the front of the room.  The admiral stepped forward and slowly looked around the hallway, taking in the now-silent staff of the Resistance outpost. The soldiers behind him appeared both agitated and distraught.  After a moment, Admiral Jul addressed the hall.

"I regret to announce that the First Order has made another move, a strike against a powerful ally.  You were all notified about the attack that caused the loss of the material for the new base not long ago, when Edryan Farr's convoy was hit by the First Order. This time... this time they struck harder. At Corellia."

There were animated murmurings throughout the cafeteria. Hux barely had enough focus to tell Kylo they needed to look at each other with confusion and a little worry, and maybe hold hands. The rest of Hux was dying to know where this was going, how successful his plan had been.  The admiral continued.

"Farr was... difficult at times, but I counted her among my friends. She had been very interested in helping the Resistance these past few years."

A spike of annoyance and... betrayal? from Hux. Kylo supposed he had been a little bitter about the need to eliminate someone they'd formally had a good relationship with, a powerful ally who had unwisely switched sides. But taking her out had been necessary. Kylo wasn’t sure why Hux felt particularly betrayed.

The admiral waited for the noise in the room to die down. An attack on Corellia was unprecedented, and the staff was in an uproar. Admiral Jul turned around, and activated a wall-size screen behind him that Kylo had never seen used before.

A broadcast was being made, again, in a language that Kylo didn't recognize. Annoyed, he spied off Hux's thoughts.

The broadcast confirmed that Hux’s plan had gone flawlessly. The large Star Destroyers had slipped into Corellia with stolen credentials from Farr's own fleet. Then, they had taken out her entire operation on the planet's surface and slipped through the Corellian blockades before the defense force could engage. He could feel jubilance coming from Hux. Kylo tipped Hux's face to the table using a Force nudge, and covered his own mouth, hoping they looked properly shocked and regretful to anyone who saw them.

As the broadcast continued, the death of Edryan Farr was confirmed, and her picture filled the screen.

Kylo's shock was so complete that Hux looked up at him, then at the screen. Then he remembered that he should look shocked, too. Because apparently it hadn't occurred to him to care, or he had forgotten what he had actually done.

The woman was the spitting image of Hux. Red hair, long enough to be slightly wavy, same blue eyes, same cold face. Same fucking expression of indifference, superiority.

Fuck.

More than a few people turned to look at them, also noticing the similarity. Kylo watched as the screen showed photos of two younger people, in their early twenties, a twin son and daughter of Farr's who had helped her run her business. They were identical, but had apparently taken after their father, because they looked nothing like Hux and Farr. Dark hair, dark skin, smiles on their open faces.

Hux could feel the shock from Kylo, and was retreating into himself, throwing up mental barriers. But he did remember to look properly scared of the attack, and to shrink from the attention of the soldiers that turned to study them thoughtfully.

The broadcast went on to explain that reprisals were expected from Farr's allies, including her older son, who was allegedly her most powerful and well-placed ally.

Kylo remembered one of the generals aboard the _Pandora_ saying the same thing. Hux. It was Hux. And he had said nothing. He had coldly calculated the best way to destroy his mother and her business, because she was no longer an ally.

The broadcast went on to discuss the number of Corellian dead (many people had been killed in the warehouses and shipyards that the First Order had destroyed), and stated that the planet would go into mourning. According to official sources, nobody had claimed responsibility for the attack.

The screen flicked off, and Admiral Jul addressed the staff again. "The First Order hasn't claimed responsibility, but it could be no one else. This is a dangerous blow to us, and another feather in the cap of the First Order. This will only get them more allies. Shipping concerns will likely gravitate to their lines in the void of Farr's death. More people will feel unsafe after the attack on Corellia, more ready to accept the rule of the First Order. This was more effective than blowing up Corellia with the Starkiller Base would have been."

The room's murmurs eventually tapered off to silence. The Admiral bowed. "I hope this serves as a reminder of what we are fighting against. I apologize for interrupting your meal. Anyone with family on Corellia... come see me. We'll find out if they're okay."

Kylo squeezed Hux's hand, and mentally groped for something to say. There was a lot he wanted and needed to know, but he wasn’t prepared to discuss it, even mentally, among this many people. He needed something that would get them up and out of the room, but couldn’t think of anything remotely appropriate.

"I'm... I'm so glad we left when we did." Not great, but something.

"We wouldn't have been part of this," Hux said in a low voice, staring into his lap.

"But we would have had to do something else. Even worse."

He could feel Hux's barriers coming down again, reaching tentatively for Kylo's thoughts. Kylo smiled at him, squeezed his hand again.

 _Do you need to go with the Admiral to check on your family in Corellia?_ Kylo asked, unable to restrain himself fully until they were in private.

Hux had to put his hands to his face to stifle a snort of laughter, which he disguised as a sniffle, then wiped at his eyes.

Kylo broke their mental link so Hux wouldn't feel his reaction, and turned to look at the bustling crowd in the mess hall, not wanting Hux to see his face, but the expression too appropriate to the current mood to waste.

This man was likely the most coldhearted person in the galaxy. Full stop. And Kylo felt he would be an expert at such an assessment.

He squeezed Hux's hand once again and stood up. "We need to leave... I don't think we'll be welcome right now."

Hux sighed, still looking like he was on the verge of tears. Kylo scanned him to make sure he wasn't still laughing, was somewhat relieved to find that he wasn't. "You're right... I just hope there's a day when we can... really, really stop being First Order."

 _Nice touch_ , Kylo added through the mental link. Kylo glanced around to see that more than a few people were staring openly at them, though none seemed overtly hostile. Aside from Kylo’s need to question Hux about this new discovery, it probably was wise to retire from sight while this news was breaking. It would be… awkward if anyone made the connection between Hux and Farr.

The two went to their cell. Kylo closed the door behind them, and they both sat on the couch. Kylo wrapped his arm around Hux, pulling him in, putting his face in his hair. The two closed their eyes, and had their conversation mentally.

_Your mother? Really, Hux?_

_You pushed Han Solo into my thermal oscillator. How is this any different?_

He had a point.  But still.  It wasn't the same. _That was... I was being torn in the middle of Dark and Light. I needed to do that to make the Light go away.  
_

_Did it work?_

Kylo hadn't examined this memory since making peace with it, shortly after it happened. He took a moment to check it again, and himself, just to make sure. _Yes. It did. It helped._

 _Well. I needed to do this. She was giving aid to my enemies. A lot of it. She had effectively switched sides, allied against me, and she was a force to be reckoned with. I warned her it would happen if she kept offering her services for free_. Hux was slightly defensive. He probably should be. Kylo hated the thought that Hux was capable of turning on people like this, made a mental note never to cross him or to do anything that he might construe as a betrayal.

_You told her you would kill her?_

_Not in so many words. I told her the First Order wouldn't stand for it._

_She didn't believe a threat from you?_

Hux was quiet for a moment. Kylo saw his thoughts. He had sent the message a year ago, the first one in a long time. Hux wondered if she knew he was still alive after Starkiller Base was destroyed.

_You don't keep in touch with her?_

_Not anymore._

_You know what I mean._

Hux paused, then continued.  _We only talked when we had mutual business arrangements. Then that ended, too, after we got the materials for Starkiller and began our own shipping lines. I used her own techniques and clients against her, and I don't think she liked that, but aiding the Resistance wasn't her style. I suspect that was probably Ris and Ral's idea._

_Your younger brother and sister?_

_Yes_.

Kylo didn't ask any more, felt Hux dwelling on the photo of the twins, thinking about how he had never met them, examining his feelings, finding none. It had simply needed doing. Kylo didn’t like that Hux’s assessment matched his own earlier one, before he had found out that Farr was his mother.

Hux's cold-bloodedness made his flesh crawl, but Kylo tried to put it out of his mind.  Hux seemed in an introspective mood, and Kylo thought he might be able to exploit it to learn more about him. He wanted to keep the conversation going, and didn’t think Hux would pull away so easily tonight.

 _I didn't know you were Corellian_ , Kylo ventured.

_Half Corellian._

_Did you grow up there?_

_I lived there until I was ten. Then I moved to Arkanis, to go to my father's school._

_Your parents weren't married?_

_No. Neither of my parents ever married. Ris and Ral's father was a gang leader from Otem. Black and Brown also had different mothers._

_Black and Brown?_

_My two older brothers, my father's sons._

_Were those actually their names?_

Kylo felt a spike of annoyance. _Yes, my father only named his sons based on their hair color. Are you stupid?_

_Are you Red?_

_Yes, I was Red._ He could feel Hux's exasperation.

_Really?_

_No. Nobody really called me that._

_Then what did they call you?  What's your name?  
_

Kylo could feel amusement at the question, which pleased him. _You asked me this on board the_ Pandora.

_You didn't answer._

_I don't have an answer for you. I don't remember my first name._

Kylo felt this might be more shocking than the fact that Hux killed his own mother. _How do you not know your own name?_

 _You might have noticed the First Order doesn't have much use for names_. Kylo could feel the dryness, as if Hux was explaining this to a toddler, which was annoying, but Kylo let him continue without comment. _Neither did the Empire. At Arkanis, I was 5882286. My mother called me Hux, since my father was a high-ranking officer, to emphasize that I was his. My father called me by my number. I sometimes got called Red by my instructors, especially the ones that knew my older brothers. My brothers were frequently called Brown and Black, since they were closer in age. Red was an amusing nickname to apply to me since I had a different hair color._

Kylo was charmed by this, and wanted to know more about Hux’s family, though he could sense Hux thought little of them himself. He considered digging through Hux’s mind for the information, then decided he wanted to hear Hux speak it aloud, to have Hux tell him the story. Hux was unusually communicative right now. Maybe killing your mother did that. Then again, Kylo hadn’t exactly felt like bearing his soul after he’d killed his father. So.

_You weren't close to your father?_

_No. We spoke twice a year once I moved to Arkanis, when we discussed my grades and academic career. I was always top in my class, mostly so I didn't have to have an exhausting conversation with him._

_You weren't close to your older brothers either, then._

_No, I never met them._

Something about this struck Kylo as terribly lonely. Hux wasn’t close to his mother, who didn’t call him by his first name, had never met any of his four siblings, and had only spoken to his father twice a year while he was in school. Kylo still felt little more than betrayal when he considered his own family situation, but…

But his parents had always called him Ben. As had his uncle. And all of them had cared for him. Maybe Hux’s family had too, and he just didn’t realize it because he was the way he was. But maybe he was that way because his parents hadn’t even bothered to call him by his first name.

Kylo could feel there was something more to Hux’s family. Hux was dwelling on a niggling thought, a detail about one of his brothers. Kylo paused a moment to follow Hux through his mind, and could feel a twinge of fondness for the one Hux thought of as Black.

 _You liked him?_ Kylo asked.

Hux sighed, weighed the merits of continuing such a personal conversation, decided not to. Did it anyway.

_I did like him. He was a brilliant strategist. I studied his battles more than anything else at school. I grew up fantasizing about joining him someday, helping him, having him complement my strategy._

Kylo was surprised by Hux’s candor, but decided not to comment on it. _He didn't defect with the First Order, like you did?_

_No, he was executed for war crimes when the New Republic hunted down the last remnants of the Imperial military. My father was captured just before he was, and met the same fate. Brown killed himself rather than being captured._

_Brown was the... one you didn't want to be like._

_Yes_ , Hux answered tersely.

Hux thought about battles his brother Black had been involved with. Kylo was fascinated by the reasonably authentic joy this seemed to give Hux. Kylo was also impressed by the fact that Hux remembered everything so precisely.  Hux hadn't allowed himself to think about his brother in a very long time, and took his time mentally moving various units and soldiers around the mapped battlefields in his mind.

But Kylo soon grew bored when Hux continued to think of nothing but strategic advantages in aerial Imperial combat. He wanted to get back to the subject of Hux’s family, and Hux when he was young. He tried to think of a nice way to phrase how Hux thought of his brother. Kylo didn’t have any siblings, and wasn’t sure how this sort of relationship worked. Then again, Hux had never met his brother, so he probably didn’t, either.

_It was nice that you had someone to look up to. A childhood hero._

_He wasn't my childhood hero._

_Who was?_

Kylo could feel Hux physically and mentally draw back at the question. He was somewhat surprised that Hux would even want to talk about this, and that he seemed to take the idea of a “childhood hero” very seriously, though he supposed that maybe it was more important in Imperial society. When Hux remained silent, Kylo dug deeper into his thoughts, which only annoyed Hux. He showed Kylo. Kylo's eyes snapped open against his will, and he spoke aloud, recoiling from Hux.

"Han Solo."

_The hero of Corellia. I lived there until I was ten, and Han Solo was Corellia's favorite native son. Every ten year old Corellian boy wanted to be Han Solo._

But Kylo could feel Hux pull back again, that he was hiding something else. He closed his eyes and gave another hard mental push into Hux’s mind, frustrated by this revelation, and wanting more, wanting something that... would make it better, or explain. Hux got... embarrassed.

Embarrassed?

Kylo opened his eyes again, grabbed Hux's shoulders. Hux pulled back. "Tell me."

"Not this. Let me have my privacy. Please." Hux didn't sound particularly embarrassed out loud. His impersonal mask had slid into place, though, and he was mentally on guard against Kylo’s intrusions in a way that he hadn’t been since they had reached the base.

"Don't make me turn off the light," Kylo whispered through his teeth.

Kylo could feel Hux's mental barriers fall as his stomach tightened and a pulse of heat shot through his body. Kylo dug greedily, and Hux yielded, smugly putting his arms back around Kylo.

He showed Kylo a memory of a visit Han Solo had made to Corellia, just before Hux left. Han looked young, roguish, much like he always did. He was hamming up for all the little boys. He was followed by Leia, who was smiling, looking proud and slightly annoyed.

Next to Leia was Ben, sulky even at that age. Kylo could feel the envy and hate in the memory.

_Every ten-year-old Corellian Boy wanted to be Ben Fucking Solo. Not only was he Han Solo's son, something any kid on Corellia would have loved, but he was also a fucking Jedi. Literally the luckiest person in the galaxy, and he always looked so bored._

Kylo pulled away, pulled his mind out completely, took his arm from around Hux. Sat for a moment, his head in his hands. His mind was going to a dark place. Very dark. Part of him fought the depression, the anger, the blinding rage. He told himself he was better than this. He had more control. Hux was only telling him the truth, showing him the past like this. Giving Kylo something of himself, even though it was meant to mock Kylo, somewhat. But the harder Kylo struggled away from the darkness, the more the darkness pulled at him, telling him that he would find the luckiest person in the galaxy there, if he looked hard enough, and he should show Hux.

He decided to turn the light off after all. Pulled the mics on the cameras. Let his Hux disguise lapse and turned back into the envy of every boy on Corellia, though Hux could not see him with the lights out. But it didn’t really matter. Some part of him did hold back, though. He didn’t reach out to Hux. He was afraid of poisoning Hux with the dark, and conversely, wanted to keep the dark for himself. Touching Hux’s mind to find that he wasn’t being intentionally malicious would only pull him out of this, and now that he was here, he wanted to keep it.

This was bad. He was miserable as Ben Solo, and time hadn't made this any better, had only exaggerated his wretchedness. He had left Ben Solo behind, along with all his misery and feelings of betrayal. He was better off as Darth Caedus, but seeing himself back then, especially through someone else’s eyes, and being told he had an enviable life... it wasn’t good.

He closed his eyes, tried one last time to get himself under control. He stood and faced Hux. Tried to explain himself. Tried to explain that Ben wasn’t the envy of every boy on Corellia.

"I was-"

"I don't give a shit how you actually felt. I don't care about your sad childhood, or about your path to the Sith. I don't know if there's a story there or not. Maybe you didn't have the capacity for being that good in you."

Kylo's stomach twisted. It sounded like a taunt. He knew it wasn't, coming from Hux, that Hux simply saw this as a trait that some people possessed, and that maybe it was an astute observation.  After all, here he was, and he had never really been the son of the Heroes of the Rebellion that people saw him as. But Kylo’s rage... his rage was too much. It hadn't been this bad since before he'd made his commitment to the Dark Side.  And he hadn't lost control since he'd killed his father, either. These were amateur problems, but he was so angry...

No.

 _No_ , some part of his mind screamed. _Don’t do this. Not now. Not when you don’t have control_.

But this was quickly buried beneath the rage, hot and thick and smothering, and the waves of power he could feel rolling off him. He needed to... needed to stop it...

"Don't. I can feel... something's wrong." Hux said aloud. His voice was steady, and he didn’t sound particularly concerned, despite his words.

At the sound of Hux's voice, Kylo bound him with the Force with a twitch of his fingers, feeling the directed power flowing easily, out and into the room, the base, the surface of the planet. He felt invincible, in his anger. He bound Hux’s legs, his hands behind his back, bent him down to kneel on the floor in front of him, grinding his knees into the concrete. Kylo drove the Dark into him, felt Hux fighting to stay upright against the pressure.

Kylo bent down to hiss in his face. "You were jealous? You wanted to be me?"

He could see Hux clenching his jaw, searching the dark for Kylo's face. He wasn't going to see it. Kylo tightened the bonds in a rage until Hux cried out sharply.

"Answer me when I ask a question."

Hux was gasping from the pain, a thin sweat breaking out on his skin. 

"I'm sorry..." Kylo's fury relented slightly when he heard an actual apology fall from Hux’s lips, but then Hux continued softly, through the pain of Kylo's punishment. "...the question made me think you were deaf, since I already answered it. I didn't think repeating myself would help."

The anger rushed back, far worse. He was out of control, too powerful, felt like he would dissolve and take everything nearby with him. Some detached part of his mind compared the sensation, clinically, to the climaxes with Hux, where he lost himself to sensation the same way. But this was far darker, far more massive, and wasn’t tied into his body the way the other was. This was his mind, pure and simple, where berating himself for losing control only made him feel worse, more angry for not being who he should be, and it made for a viscious cycle.

He had been avoiding Hux's thoughts, some small part of himself still trying to shield Hux from what was happening. But it gave way to the Dark, and Hux's thoughts began leeching into his mind, his own rage likely flooding Hux. He could feel confusion, arousal, disappointment in the loss of control.

No fear.

No, Kylo tried. No, just... don't...

Kylo knew what he was about to do, and he knew Hux knew, too. Arousal spiked, in both himself and Hux, which made the rage worse. How could he want this, right now? How could Hux want it?

He bent forward, into Hux’s face again. Hux attempted to recoil back, but Kylo held him in place.

“Do you know what’s about to happen?”

Hux paused, but answered, his voice still steady. “Yes.”

Kylo leaned past Hux's face, put his hand on Hux’s shoulder, crushed it in his grip until he felt bones grind together and Hux writhing. “Tell me,” he whispered into Hux’s ear.

Hux turned his face away to reply, which Kylo allowed. “You’ll either take me or kill me.” His voice was still steady, matter of fact.

Kylo put his other hand on Hux’s shoulder, then rocked forward, pushing Hux to the ground hard. Hux gasped and shuddered beneath his hands. Kylo leaned over him, one hand going down to Hux’s hot, hard erection. His hand moved down, cupping Hux’s balls. Hux shuddered again, tried to writhe. His legs and arms were still bound through the Force, and pinned below him. His thigh muscles were straining, stretched almost beyond their limit. Kylo could feel his pain.

“Which would you prefer?” Kylo squeezed Hux’s balls, and Hux cried out, gasping. But he quickly got himself back under control, and managed an answer, through the pain and the weight of Kylo bearing down and the Dark, the Dark that was tearing into both of them.

“Either.” Level. Detached. Emotionless. “Anything.”

The last of Kylo’s rational thought fled him at that, which, even in this state, he recognized as one of the most sentimental things Hux was ever likely to utter.

Kylo rolled off Hux, then reached for his head, grabbing him by his lovely hair and flipping him forward, forcing him face-down on the floor with his bound arms behind his back.  Kylo kept his hand in Hux's hair, wrenching it tightly against the scalp.

Lotion flew into his hand from the bathroom. He forced Hux up to his knees, face down on the floor. Hux suddenly wasn't wearing any clothes, and neither was Kylo. Kylo wasn't sure when or how that had happened.  Time was speeding up and stuttering strangely, and he wasn't fully able to follow what was happening.  He had lotion on his fingers, was jamming them into Hux. He had never done this before. Neither had Hux. A part of Kylo's mind reviewed the countless memories of this he had seen over the years, but he wasn't precisely in control right now. Hux was grunting, moaning, fucking himself backwards onto Kylo's slick fingers, excess lotion beginning to roll down his thighs. Kylo wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing. Neither was Hux. They both did it some more. Hux was angry, mostly at himself for wanting this as badly as he did. He was so hard, as hard as Kylo was, and both were leaking.

Kylo positioned Hux and buried himself in him. There was no grace in it, and neither of them wanted this to be gentle. It needed to be hard, it needed to be angry, in order to happen at all. Hux was still face down on the floor, tears running from his eyes, hot and furious, and Kylo bent over him, pressing himself against Hux's back.  The sensation was surreal enough that it gave Kylo pause and brought him slightly back to himself.  While buried in Hux, Kylo made one last attempt to grab hold of his own rage.  He chased it back to the source, trying to rationalize it, calm himself down, tell himself he was having this, that Hux was having this, that he didn’t need the Dark.

But it didn’t work. He remembered what started this, and he began to fuck Hux hard, pushing hard and grunting at the bottom of each stroke inside. He lost his Force hold on Hux’s limbs, but kept Hux's face pinned to the ground with his hand fisted into the hair on the back of his head.  He could feel Hux reach up and begin to work his own leaking erection. He couldn’t stop himself, or the emotions that were raging out of control in his own mind, and Kylo couldn't tell if they belonged to himself or Hux.  There was plenty for both of them.  He yanked Hux's head to the side and put his lips to his ear.

"You were fucking jealous. Of me. Didn't think I deserved what I had. Do you want to know what it's like to be me? I'll show you."

He lowered his face and sank his teeth into Hux's shoulder. He slapped Hux’s hand away from his dick roughly, grabbed it himself, squeezed too hard, wrapped his fingers around the base. He could feel that Hux was going to come just from the anger, and Kylo poured his efforts into holding back Hux’s physical release, which only made Hux more angry, aroused, made him cry out. Kylo pounded harder, mercilessly into Hux. Again and again and again. Overwhelming. The rage abated, replaced by something else. The taste of Hux's blood in his mouth, the tightness of Hux spasming around his cock, the smell of Hux’s sweat mixing with his own, Hux's moans filling his ears.

It was what he had wanted. More than anything. Hux wanted it, too, right now, in this moment. He was angry too, and could feel Kylo, didn’t know that anyone felt so deeply, so uncontrollably. He could feel Hux reaching into the Dark, too.

Kylo lost control, of himself, his powers, his mind completely. Some small, cornered, trapped part of himself wondered if the Force would, or could, somehow make them the same person. It was what he ultimately desired. He could feel some part of Hux wanting it, too. He blacked out, unsure if that caused him to stop what he was doing, to stop the violation, or if they both finished.

***

He came back to himself with a start, opened his eyes. Time had passed, he didn’t know how much. He was on top of Hux, on the floor. A sick mixture of shame and fear rolled through his body, threatening to make him physically ill.

What had he done?

He tried to reach out with his mind, to check that Hux was okay, but he couldn't. He reached, and there was nothing there, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he lost his powers or because Hux was dead, and nothing was making sense. He rolled off of Hux, began to panic, to shake Hux.

"Hey. Wake up." His voice cracked, sounded very rough. He didn’t recognize it. But that didn’t matter right now, was a problem he’d solve if Hux was still alive-

Hux made a noise and rolled over, away from Kylo. He moaned thickly, not opening his eyes.

"I don't think I can stand. Use your powers to put me on the bed. Physical or mental, your fucking choice."

Kylo blinked, trying to gather himself. Hux saying something so completely himself helped.  It was normal, and it calmed Kylo. He tried accessing his powers again, found them functional, but weak. He had emptied himself. He tried to reach out to the rest of the base. Couldn't. He thought about reaching out into Hux's mind, but was afraid to. He wasn't sure how long they'd been out, if his loss of control over the Force had alerted anyone nearby, if they had been checked on, found out.  He swallowed and decided to tell Hux the truth.

"I can't use my powers right now. I used them all up."

Hux snorted. Another comforting normality. "What does that mean?"

"I can't... stand, and I used too much of the Force. I can't control it right now."

"You couldn't control it before, either."

Kylo sat up. "Hux, I'm sorry-"

"Don't fucking apologize."

Kylo recoiled, dread settling in his gut, fear wrapping around his mind. He had... he lost it, his control of the Force, would never have it again, they were going to have to leave, he had lost his powers, Hux was going to be executed and so would he-

"What did you even get angry about? That I was jealous of you when I was twelve? Because I still am. But please don't fuck me again, I don't think i can take that right now."

Kylo's mental processes ground to a halt. His mind cleared. He-

"You're jealous of me?"

Hux shifted. "We are not having this conversation."

Kylo paused, instinctively trying to read Hux's thoughts. He found the Force came easier, but Hux's thought still weren't clear, he could still only get the barest hint of emotions... which Hux mostly didn't have. Kylo was silent for a few minutes, unsure what to do, sick to the pit of his stomach. He flexed his Force powers again, but they were still too weak to do what Hux asked. He got to his knees, found he could. Hesitated for a moment, decided to ask anyway.

"I can't Force-lift you into the bed. I think I can lift you, though. Is it okay if I touch you?"

"Are you asking permission to touch me?" Hux asked, sounding incredulous, still not facing him.

"Look, I really didn't... I lost control-"

"Don't be ashamed of who you are, or apologize. It's infuriating."

Kylo was dumbstruck at this instruction. What did that even mean? Was Hux... did Hux... not care? Did he really not care that Kylo had just… lost control, like that?

"I think I almost killed us," Kylo blurted, bluntly, his thick, roughened voice almost swallowing the admission.

Hux was silent, still not registering any emotion in Kylo's weakened scans for his well-being. A full minute passed before Hux answered "I told you it was okay. Before and after." Hux shifted slightly, and spoke up again. "I've seen you strangle people with your bare hands, murder children with your sword, and rip out so much of people's minds that it's a mercy to kill them. Why is this bothering you?"

Kylo sighed. He would never stop being impressed by Hux's lack of a moral bottom. Then he winced, realizing that he’d finally had Hux on the day they’d heard that Hux had successfully ordered an attack that effectively killed his mother. Perhaps Hux was dragging him down with him.

Kylo decided to set that matter aside, and thought hard for an answer he thought Hux would want to hear, would understand. It was that he had lost control, had maybe nearly killed them both, but it was the sex too, and part of him shied away at the thought that the first time they’d had sex may have literally been at death’s door. He didn’t want Hux to think about nearly being killed if they were to ever try again, especially if Hux didn’t feel the same way he did about sex.

"I like sex too much to stop. And I told you, I can't do it with an unwilling partner... the emotional feedback I get from that doesn't work. I thought you might be too terrified to try again."

"It looks like you get off just fine on terror." Hux returned sarcastically.

"You weren't actually afraid, I could tell."

Hux was silent for a moment. "No, I suppose I wasn't. If you can tell, what are you asking me right now?"

"It's... just..."

"Look," Hux interrupted. "I don't know what you need to hear from me to stop apologizing, or hating yourself, or whatever it is you're trying to do right now."

Kylo considered this silently for a few moments, before blurting out "It sounds like you enjoyed yourself."

Hux blew air through his nose in what could have, almost, been a laugh on someone else. "Yes," he admitted, surprising Kylo "I don't know what you did. I thought you were killing me with your mind. It felt like you unmade and remade me."

"Yes," Kylo repeated, absently, settling onto his back and staring up through the complete blackness at the ceiling of the cell. He didn't know why it had felt like that, why it had felt so good. Why nothing he'd done in his life, nothing on his path to the Dark Side, had ever satisfied him so much. But maybe killing someone with your mind while plowing them was sort of a reward for Masters of the Dark Side of the Force.

He decided not to push it anymore, especially since he couldn't tell how Hux was feeling. With no further instruction from Hux, he sat up and grabbed Hux around the waist, slung him over his shoulder with one arm and walked to the bed, throwing him onto the mattress. Ungently. Just in case Hux had been angry about being carried to bed.

Kylo looked at the door, tried to reach out to determine if anyone had felt them fuck. Still couldn't reach out. He then tried to change his appearance back into Hux. With some effort, he got it back into place, but wasn't going to be able to hold it thoughtlessly, or in his sleep like he had before. He climbed over Hux, getting between Hux and the wall.

"I can't change my appearance right now. You have to hide me, in case anyone comes in."

Hux grunted, but was otherwise silent. Kylo brushed against his mind again, could only sense fatigue.

Hux moaned, sounding annoyed, and rolled forward against Kylo. He pulled the blankets up over them both, and pulled himself around Kylo's head, which would mostly hide it from view of anyone at the door.

Kylo fell asleep, feeling content with the day's work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr! [@vadianna](http://vadianna.tumblr.com)


	14. Chapter 14

Hux woke to the Sith Lord Darth Caedus smothering him, physically and mentally.  It was the intense sensation of contentment pressing into all the corners of his mind that woke him, and it felt _very wrong_.  Kylo's thoughts, his emotions leaking into Hux's mind, was still an uncanny sensation - Kylo _felt_ so much, and Hux often wondered how Kylo was able to process all of that at once.  Kylo's emotions were like square pegs in the round holes of Hux's mind:  obviously foreign, uncomfortable, unable to fit, and just making a mess of everything.  
  
But as he tried to stir, he also felt Kylo draped over his side, pressing into his back, with his arms wrapped around his neck and chest, his legs intertwined, and his half-hard dick pressing against Hux's sore ass.  His face was pressed into Hux's hair, and Hux could feel the fingers of one hand carding slowly through his hair.  Kylo's breath was making the back of Hux's neck sweat, and Hux was uncomfortably hot and damp in all the places their skin touched.  
  
Hux tried to disentangle himself and roll over onto his back, turning his head to face Kylo.  The lights in the room were dimmed, but not out, and Hux could see Kylo's face.  Of course Kylo looked like himself, his disguise gone.  Hux wasn't sure if this was better than laying with a visual duplicate of himself or not.  Kylo's eyes were closed, and his brow creased slightly at Hux's motion, his face framed with a riot of particularly unruly dark hair.  
  
As he surfaced from sleep and tried to press Kylo out of his mind, he became aware of a pounding, painful headache that made him close his eyes against even the dim light in the room.  As he tried to dial back the pain in his head and eject Kylo's nosy presence, he attempted to assess the rest of his body.  He ached everywhere, of course, but that was to be expected.  His arm and leg muscles hurt, and the muscles in his back and abdomen were throbbing in pain that he likely would have taken notice of had his headache not been so overpowering.  Kylo had tried to pull him closer, and was again breathing hot, sticky breath against his neck.    
  
Too much.  It was too much.  He was laying in bed with someone who was, for all intents and purposes, one of the heads of the First Order, on a ridiculous undercover mission that he couldn't quite justify to himself right now, and he had just had sex for the first time.  Which had, admittedly, felt great.  But if this was the morning after result, he never wanted it again.  He never should have allowed this.  He wanted Kylo off of him and out of his head, he wanted his aches and pains relieved, and he wanted his sense of self back, but mostly he wanted to die as he tried to cope with the pain in his head.  Hux twisted and tried to crawl out of Kylo's grip, but it didn't work.  He could tell Kylo was awake, and felt Kylo's mind pulling away slightly at the cresting anger and pain in Hux's consciousness.  With his eyes closed, he decided to get the unpleasantness out of the way immediately.  
  
"Change your appearance.  Right now.  Then get out of my head, and get out of the bed."  He tried to add as much of an edge to his voice as he could.  For good measure, he let himself feel a low-level anger, under the pain, about just how much he wanted Kylo away from him right now.  Kylo would probably be offended, but he didn't fucking care as long as he could be by himself in his misery.  
  
He could feel Kylo's disappointment, hurt, and just a taste of fear as he shifted slightly around Hux.  There was an uncanny ripple against Hux's flesh that made him shiver, and he saw the flesh of Kylo's arms turn paler and freckled to match his own.  His grip only tightened, however, and Hux still felt the overwhelming presence in his own mind, overwhelming amidst the throbbing pain that he could feel in the back of his eyes and in his teeth.    
  
Hux was still caught in his grip, and he tried to writhe to loosen himself again.  He was at the edge of the bed, and couldn't get any further away without going to the floor.  
  
"Let me go and get out.  I mean it."  
  
He felt the disappointment from Kylo again, this time mixed with annoyance, but Kylo pulled back as asked.  Physically, at least.  He still wasn't leaving Hux's head.  Hux wanted to grit his teeth and murder Kylo, but the relief of not having Kylo's hot, sticky flesh against his own was a small relief, and he supposed it was something to have Kylo listen to at least one instruction.  
  
Kylo's disappointment turned into trepidation, then fear again, and Hux nearly groaned aloud when he realized that Kylo wanted to have a _talk_.   
  
"I thought we... that you, last night, that it was okay now-"  
  
"You thought we were in love?  No."  Hux cut him off as cruelly as he could, and felt a sickening mix of anger, indignity, and confusion wash through him.  "What happened last night was that you fucked me to death's door.  I feel like it this morning.  What I need you to do, right now, is get well fucking out of this bed, out of my head, out of this room,  and away from me.  I don't really care how it happens, just that it happens soon."  
  
He could feel Kylo sit up and shift over, probably to lean against the wall.  The surface of the wall would be cool, and Hux wanted desperately to lean against it himself, but he didn't think he could manage sitting up right now.  The wounded anger and confusion and _hurt feelings_ were radiating off Kylo.  "So that's it?  That seems a little cold, even for you."  
  
The throbbing was getting worse.  "Did you kill the cameras?  Are they listening to us do this right now?"  
  
Kylo paused, and Hux could feel something happening.  He felt a slight shiver again.  
  
"I can't-"  Kylo began, then finished silently, in Hux's head.  _Use the Force_.  
  
Hux rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into the pillow, sliding his arms into the cool space below it.  "What are you talking about?"  He decided to speak aloud, as Kylo's words had made him feel as if his brain would leak out his ears.  
  
Mercifully, Kylo took the hint.  "I can't tell... right now.  I can't... use.  It."  Kylo finished, stilted.  Hux could hear him struggling for non-incriminating words.  Hux decided to suffer and continue this mentally, hoping they could wrap up this pathetic conversation and get Kylo out sooner.  
  
_Fuck's sake.  You're using it right now.  You just changed back into me, didn't you?  And I can feel you in me.  It's disgusting.  Stop it._  
  
_I'm not!_   He could feel Kylo's angry indignance again.  
  
_So, somehow, I suppose one of us has become spontaneously psychic overnight.  Grown some head-tails?  The mystic gland?  Whatever it is that aliens have?_  
  
He could feel Kylo working this over.  He heard Kylo's thoughts without Kylo having to vocalize them.  Kylo couldn't feel their current mental connection like he could feel the Force, and he couldn't currently use the Force to reach outside the room.  
  
_All right.  I don't care about any of this.  Get out of this room.  I need you away from me right now._  
  
He could feel doubt and insecurity seize up Kylo's mind.  It made Hux even angrier.  
  
_Don't start that again right now.  Do you not think I need a moment of privacy, even in my own head, after that?  How can you not have a thought for other people, when you are literally inside my head, reading my mind?  I wish I could give this fucking headache to you and be done with it._  
  
The doubt receded, replaced by the annoyance again.  He could feel Kylo thinking that Hux was the one that didn't have a thought for other people (which was true), then he felt Kylo making the decision to get into the shower, thinking that Hux didn't enjoy sex as much as he did.  
  
_Get. Out. Of. My.  Head.  I absolutely do not want a blow-by-blow of what happened last night.  I want sleep._  
  
_I'm telling you, I'm not in your head!  I can barely feel your emotions!_  
  
_I'm angry and in pain.  Those are my emotions.  I can feel every one of your thoughts in my head, so you need to figure out how to get control again._  
  
He could feel Kylo thinking of how he wished he and Hux were the same person last night, followed by a rush of affection.  
  
_This is exactly the type of thing I never want to know about you.  Get into the shower._  
  
Angry again, Kylo did just that.  When Hux could still hear what Kylo was thinking, Hux nagged him until Kylo began chanting some sort of meditation in his mind to quiet himself.  The cessation of Kylo's thoughts made Hux's headache recede and lulled him into a nap, to be awakened again when Kylo began to think about whether to ask Hux to shave him.  Hux cursed him steadily until Kylo left the room.  
  
Because things needed to be as complicated as possible when Hux couldn't think without wanting to die, Kylo leaving didn't help silence or even dampen his thoughts.  Hux pushed his pain into Kylo's head the best he could and bullied Kylo into the meditation chant again.  
  
And that did help.  The quiet was a relief.  Hux drifted in and out of a light sleep as Kylo went and ate a meal.  Hux asked him to bring food back to the room for him, not at all sure he was going to be able to sit up or keep any food down, but he thought it might make him feel better.  Kylo resented it, but did it anyway.  
  
Hux mustered enough energy to sit on the edge of the bed, refusing to talk to Kylo.  Kylo sulked on the couch in his Hux disguise, and Hux could feel him mentally testing his Force abilities.  The process was fascinating.  Hux could feel a slight ripple in his mind when Kylo made the attempt, and Kylo's increasing anger when it apparently didn't work.    
When the headache became too much for Hux to keep his eyes open again, he sent Kylo away to meditate somewhere, instructing him that meditation would likely help him regain his Force powers.  Kylo knew Hux didn't know anything about the Force, or meditation, and was just trying to silence Kylo's mind.  He could feel Kylo's resentment that the only one of his powers that still worked was his mental link with Hux, which wasn't even under his control and was particular taxing now that Hux was being whiny and ungrateful.  
  
Hux tried to resent that, but couldn't.  
  
Hux reasoned the sooner Kylo got control, the better.  They would both feel better about one another.  Soon enough, Kylo went outside and meditated, silencing his mind and sending it within and without.  The sensation was a strange one, but Hux could relegate it to the back of his mind and sleep more, trying to alleviate the pain in his head and body.  
  
***  
  
Hux drifted in and out of sleep, and began to think of ways to turn the Corellia attack to their advantage in the current situation.  He seized on an idea, building it into a workable plan, and waited until Kylo was done meditating to order him into action.  No sense ending his mental quiet sooner than he needed to.    
  
When Kylo was done, Hux tried to explain the new plan to him, but was instead met with a wave of pleasure at the thought that Hux could reach out to him.  Hux rolled his eyes at Kylo rationalizing that it was because Hux liked him enough to do so, though the majority of his mind seemed to agree with Hux - he was simply getting his Force control back.  
  
Hux sent Kylo to Admiral Jul, with instructions to speak to the man himself and refuse an audience with anyone else.  Jul saw Kylo immediately, and Hux was surprised to find that he could feel the interview rather vividly through Kylo, even through the pounding pain in his head.  
  
Kylo was annoyed he couldn't reach out to Jul's mind.  Hux told him he wouldn't need to.  His plan was simple, and would be very effective even without mind control or the need to gauge Jul's reactions.  Hux knew exactly how the commander would react.  
  
He had Kylo admit that the clones were terrified that Commander General Hux would come after them.  It was well-known that the Commander General was fanatical about traitors, and the longer the Hux clones stayed in one place, the more they feared being a target for the heads of the First Order.  This fear had only deepened after the clones realized that the Commander General had organized an attack against his own family (Hux wasn't sure if this was confirmed or not - if it hadn't been yet, it soon would be, and he looked enough like his mother that it wouldn't be a stretch for the clones to see themselves in her, he hoped).  If he could do that to his family, what would he do to his clones?  It was rumored he was ruthless and unstable, and needed to be stopped.  
  
Kylo added more unflattering descriptions, which Hux didn't appreciate.  But they did seem to convince the Admiral.  Still, the Admiral wasn't the blind, optimistic fool that Hux thought he was.  Rather than agreeing immediately, he tried to reassure Kylo that nothing could happen to them here.  
  
Hux rolled his eyes.  The base was on the planet they deserted at.  It would be the first place Hux looked, if he really was trying to track down errant clone troopers of himself.  But, of course, Admiral Jul would be in comfort and consolation mode after speaking with any of the native Corellians after the attack.  Kylo tried to argue his way out of Admiral Jul's firm pity, and began to get genuinely angry, but Admiral Jul was having none of it.    
  
Until Kylo pointed out that the First Order also contained a very powerful Force user who was also known to be unforgiving to even rumors of treason.  Escaped troopers had felled the base headed by both the Sith and the Commander General.  It was what made both of them so unforgiving towards traitors, but as fanatical as the Commander General was about treason, he left the dealings and punishment to the wrath of the Sith.  It was fear of him that kept most of the clones with any sort of doubt serving with the First Order.  
  
Hux tried to get Kylo to leave the details of the Sith Lord vague, since he wanted to tell a story that made it unclear whether the Sith was away or actively involved in the Order.  But Hux could see that, once Kylo had introduced himself into the narrative, Admiral Jul would hear of nothing else.    
  
Kylo, of course, gave his real title and many flattering details about his powers and skills, even with Hux mentally shouting him down.  Hux wondered how Kylo could stand Hux mentally screaming into his mind without even flinching, when even Kylo's thoughts not directed at Hux hurt terribly.  
  
At the end, the Admiral agreed to send them to a more secure location as payment for the information Kylo had given him on... well, Kylo.  Hux hated that it was Kylo's details that secured their path out of the base, but that was the desired result.  
  
The strain of connecting with Kylo across the base had stirred up the pain in his head again, and the relief he had slowly gained through his naps and silencing Kylo receded under a wave of pain that was terrible enough that Hux lost consciousness.  
  
Hux woke again when Kylo came back to the room very much in a good mood.  Hux was laying on his stomach on the bed, which he'd stripped of the sheets earlier, after determining they smelled too much like sex.  He didn't bother lifting his head from where it was resting on his hands.  It hurt.  Mental conversation hurt too, but he didn't want to send his mind reeling right away by moving his head.  He would deal with an internal conversation.  
  
_You're thrilled._  
  
Hux was still naked, and he could feel the low-level arousal pulse through Kylo as Kylo took in his naked back.  He shuddered slightly, and tried again.  
  
_Get out of my head.  I cannot tolerate your near-constant lust.  I can say with complete certainty that I can live with suppressing my desires as I always have if the result is that I am incapacitated for a full day and have to listen to you mentally rub your hands all over me.  If you do not immediately get out of my head and let me rest, you will never touch me again._  
  
He could feel annoyance and unhappiness pulse through Kylo, and he sat down on the edge of the mattress.  
  
"I'm not in your head.  I'm not even reading your emotions right now.  You're the one broadcasting loudly at me."  
  
_Fuck you, I can feel everything you're thinking.  You brought bacta from medical, and analgesics to help with my headache, hoping that I would be less angry with you for causing the pain in the first place.  That's not what I'm angry about.  I'm angry because you will not shut up.  It's exhausting._  
  
"I haven't been in your head since I left the Admiral."  He could feel that Kylo was puzzled, and wanted to stroke the hair on Hux's head.  Hux sighed, frustrated.  
  
_You're happy because you regained control of your powers._  
  
_Yes_ , Kylo answered, his confusion washing over Hux along with more pleasure that Hux had been able to discern this.  Kylo was worried about Hux being able to read his thoughts even when Kylo wasn't doing the same for him, but Kylo didn't seem to mind.  Of course he wouldn't.    
  
The cameras and sound were back on in the room.  They had stopped working last night, but nobody thought anything suspicious of it.  Someone had come in to do the repair while Hux had lost himself in the conversation between Kylo and the admiral.  Hux hadn't even cared enough to stir himself and put on underwear for the benefit of the maintenance worker.  Why would he?  
  
_All right.  Then why can't you break the mental link between us?_  
  
_I don't know.  What we did last night was... powerful._   A shudder of both lust and fear went through Kylo, and Hux embraced it, since it seemed like the correct reaction to what they had done.  That, at least, was true.  _It might take longer for me to gain finer control, especially when what I desired was a... bond with you._   Hux felt this as an overpowering need that Kylo had trouble putting into words, and sighed again as Kylo continued.  _Perhaps I did that, and it will take some time to undo._  
  
_That's not what I want to hear.  The only time I haven't heard your thoughts was when you meditated.  You need to fix this now._  
  
A hand went to his waist, and Hux groaned and resisted, but Kylo persisted and roughly rolled him over.  Hux put a hand to his face and squinted through the fingers, seeing Kylo with his own face and a barely-suppressed look of pleasure that had no place there.  Asshole.  Kylo loved that he needed to take care of Hux.  Hux felt angry again.  His eyes were closed, but he could feel his attention focus on the small bottle of bacta Kylo had in his hand.  
  
_Give me that, and I'll do it myself._  
  
"No, let me."  Kylo popped the lid on the bacta with one hand, and smeared the cool gel over Hux's wrists first.    
  
_Fucking annoying,_ he thought, not sure if he was broadcasting it or not.  _Give me the analgesics first, before you get more masturbation material._  
  
His fingers paused in their ministrations.  "You don't like this?"  
  
_Do I like feeling like an invalid?  No, I don't like this.  Give me the analgesic and meditate until I wake up._  
  
Hux sat up, popped the pills dry, and laid back down, his head throbbing.  Kylo's mind stilled and stopped, and eventually, so did Hux's.  
  
When he woke back up,  the analgesics were working and he was aching much less in both body and mind.  Kylo was still meditating quietly, which surprised Hux.  Hux was still naked, and he drug himself out of bed and into the refresher, wincing and shuddering as he considered that he would still have last night's sour smell on him.  He felt mental stirrings as Kylo came back to himself, and decided to inquire further about their plans.  
  
_I couldn't clearly hear everything about your conversation with Jul.  Is he sending us to the main Resistance base?_  
  
_I think so_ , Kylo sent back mentally.  _I was having trouble reading his thoughts at the time, but that seemed to be what he was considering at the end._  
  
_Can you find out for sure?_  
  
He felt Kylo grow annoyed at the command, but follow it anyway with a measure of apprehension.  Then, in an incredibly uncanny sensation, he felt Kylo send his mind throughout the base to touch the employees.  He processed each employee's mind lightning-fast, disregarding the majority of the staff fast enough that it brought Hux to his knees in the 'fresher stall.  
  
He felt Kylo's attention focus on half a dozen employees in the comm center for the base, then three who were actively manning transmissions to and from other Resistance bases.  He scanned their minds, and somehow, despite the fact it felt like a rough violation to Hux, the employees didn't know.  
  
Kylo found the one who had relayed all the info he had given about Darth Caedus to the Resistance main base, along with a request from Admiral Jul that the two defected clones of General Hux be transferred to a more secure location.  The comm specialist at the main base confirmed that Admiral Ackbar had okayed the request, and arranged a transfer in two days.  
  
He felt Kylo's mind snap back to the room like a rubber band.  
  
_It looks like-_  
  
_I heard it_ , Hux broke in.  _How do you do that?_  
  
Confusion.  _Do what?_  
  
_Your mind scans.  You... you processed every mind on the base.  You touched them all, read all their thoughts for a second and decided the information was unnecessary.  How?  How can you sort through that many thoughts at once?_  
  
Kylo still seemed confused, though the question also stroked his ego, and Hux felt the other gain an edge of arrogance and pride.  _I've always been able to do that.  I got better as I got older._  
  
Hux shook his head, still kneeling on the floor of the refresher.  He shut it off in disbelief.  _I would do such wicked things if I could read minds like that_.  
  
Kylo seemed curious.  _Like what?  What kind of wicked things?_  
  
_Like what?_   Hux was baffled by his lack of creativity.  _Casual mind-reading on that scale is an infinitely useful tool.  I'd evaluate sections of the population on any planet where I wanted to do a takeover, to find out what they wanted to hear and tell them that exactly.  It would make things so much easier.  You can stroll onto the base we're moving to and gain any information we'd need on decrypting their transmissions.  You could also learn how and where to intercept all their supply shipments.  You could also pluck the history and details of the Resistance from anybody's head, anyone who spoke to one of the droids, and we wouldn't even have to steal them._  
  
He picked himself up off the floor of the shower and walked back into the room to retrieve his dull Resistance jumper as Kylo tried to comprehend that information.  _What wouldn't I do with it?_ Hux added  
  
_It's... not quite like that._   Kylo said, slowly, trying to find the right words to explain to Hux and growing frustrated.  _I can't sort through their thoughts individually like that.  It's too difficult.  What I just did was like... I was looking for something specific, knew it wasn't in those people, found something similar in a few, then exactly what I was looking for.  If I'm not looking for something specific in a crowd, it becomes harder to sort through.  Especially..._ Hux could feel him think of the dead Resistance recruits when they first came here. _Especially if there has been some emotional trauma.  That becomes hard to... be in close proximity to.  It's like every mind shouting at you at full volume, even when you're not reading them._  
  
Hux contemplated this as he dressed himself, opting to stare at the wall rather than Kylo's still-creepy clone disguise.  
  
_But you shouldn't have been able to see that_ , Kylo said slowly, contemplating the ramifications of Hux's question.  _You should only be able to touch my emotions, maybe, when I'm in your head.  You shouldn't be able to see my thoughts that clearly, especially when I'm using the Force like that._  
  
_I'm not doing it on purpose.  I'm not entirely sure you're not doing it on purpose, either, but you seem puzzled enough by it.  I suppose I'll have to suffer until you gain control of your arcane powers again?_  
  
Anger and frustration came to the forefront of Kylo's thoughts, along with personal chastisement that he likely didn't mean to share with Hux.  Kylo felt his focus was slipping, and that he shouldn't have control issues, he was a Master, and Masters didn't let others into their heads, even Hux, but maybe it was because it was Hux-  
  
_Enough_ , Hux stopped Kylo's train of thought, exasperated.  _The sooner, the better.  Does meditation actually help?  Do you feel more yourself afterwards?_  
  
_I feel strong now_ , Kylo supplied hatefully.  _I feel stronger than I ever have.  I'm trying to shield my mind against you, because you keep complaining, but it isn't working, as you continue to point out._   _Like I said, I believe it has something to do with my intentions last night.  I wished to make us one.  Perhaps it linked our minds more than intended._  
  
Hux heard the resentful f _or one of us_ float through his mind, unintended, along with an accompanying twinge of jealousy.  
  
Hux rolled his eyes and turned to face Kylo.  _Fuck's sake.  I can't take your pathetic teenager act much longer.  Will it make you more happy to move into my mind?  Help yourself.  You've already stripped out the most private moments._  
  
He saw his own eyes widen in his own face, and felt the uncanny rippling sensation again.  Surprisingly, Kylo's thoughts did settle, though Hux still had the overwhelming sense of being touched all over and inside.  At least the touch was merely mental this time.  He scowled and turned away.  
  
_Will we meet your mother at the base?_  
  
He could feel resentment curling through his own mind, and an answering _Yes, we likely will_.  
  
_What will you do?_  
  
Coldness, determination.  _Sith do not have attachments, and she is the head of an antiquated system of government that is making war with us and refuses to see reason.  I will treat her as I would any other enemy, Commander General._  
  
Hux couldn't stop his sense of approval for the unsentimental plan of action, and he could feel coils of pleasure in response.  He ignored them.  _Will she be able to sense us?_  
  
_My mother?_ He thought about his mother's Force powers.  Considered.  She likely wouldn't pick up anything amiss with Hux, but she would certainly see through Kylo's disguise.  
  
_Well, that's fine,_ Hux finished, not letting Kylo articulate the thought.  _We'll just make sure I'm the one she meets with, if we have to meet with her._   He considered this.  _One would think a powerful Sith Lord would be able to cloak his presence from a weak Force user, though._  
  
Resentment, anger again.  _It's the bloodline.  It's difficult to hide from your own like that._  
  
_And you still believe we'll have to deal with your Uncle?_  
  
A pause, some trepidation.  Interesting.  Kylo wasn't often unsure of himself, except in regards to Hux.  He could feel Kylo's resentment at the thought.  _You know well how I feel about you._  
  
_Please, we do not need to go down this rabbit hole every few minutes.  You know how I feel about that, and conversations like the one you are attempting to have, correct?  Your Uncle.  You are concerned about him._  
  
_Yes_ , Kylo pushed out through his anger.  _He is powerful.  But I don't believe he actively fights for the Resistance.  One of the droids will be with him, so we will need to find him sooner or later.  Or I will, for other reasons.  But we may also have everything we need from C-3PO, too._  
  
Hux sighed, and did some mental calculations.  _It will be easier to plan once we're there and have an idea of the staff, and what the command will want with us, if it's as prisoners or if they trust us to do other work._   _Useful work._  
  
Amusement.  _Are we going to fight for the Resistance, Hux?_  
  
Hux rolled his eyes.  _We will if necessary, and that will give us a good chance to sabotage operations, too._  

_What did you have in mind?_

_Hmm... nothing specific yet.  We don't know where the base is, nor am I certain we will be told its location, though we will presumably find it eventually.  Honestly, if the protocol droid has the information we need about the Resistance communications, history, major players, and allies, I'm thinking we can get that and ourselves off the planet and then just call in several squads to destroy the base._

_That simply?_

_Well, I haven't considered strategies.  Why, are you planning on watching me piss in the ashes?_

_It seems like something you'd do._

_Yes, because getting my dick out and taking revenge on my enemies is something I feel the need to do._

Kylo didn't respond to this, but went back to thinking about the plan. _It's elegant.  But you don't want the astromech droid?_

_Not particularly.  You do._

Kylo made a sound of affirmation.  _It will either be with my uncle, or know where he is.  I would like to tie up that particular loose end._

Hux scowled.  _That wouldn't be why we're doing this mission in the first place, would it?_

Kylo was silent a moment, and Hux felt something that was dangerously close to contrition.  He didn't want to know.  _I suppose I'm getting the protocol droid I want, and that's enough._  
  
He turned back and opened the door to their cell, deciding that he felt good enough to go to dinner.  He didn't bother ending the conversation with Kylo.  Kylo knew what Hux was doing, and would either follow him or stay in the room.  Hux cared not what.  
  
As they walked down the hallway, Hux felt more of a pressure in his mind.  He sent annoyance Kylo's way, who let resentment coil through his thoughts.  The closer Hux got to the mess hall, the worse the pressure became, until his head was throbbing again.  
  
He heard the edges of so many voices, so many thoughts.  
  
"I don't think I can eat another lousy meatloaf-"  
"Damn, I spilled on my shirt again-"  
"Is today the day I sit next to-"  
"I messed up in training-"  
"I should have told that asshole-"  
"Two more months-"  
"If she comes-"  
"I want-"  
  
Hux collapsed on his knees.  
  
"What are you doing," he gasped aloud.  "Pull out of their minds, I can't- It hurts."  He pressed his palms to his temples and closed his eyes.  
  
Kylo was kneeling next to him, hissing.  "I'm not doing this, I'm trying to stop it-"  
  
"Need to cut out the caf-"  
"My allergies are getting-"  
"How will I pay off-"  
"Am I pregnant again-"  
  
"Stop it please!"  Hux was having trouble controlling his voice, hearing his own thoughts and words over that of the cacophony.  Some of the small noises in the immediate vicinity had stilled, and he could feel the thoughts turning towards him, the two clones kneeling together, one in pain-  
  
"The wall color is ugly-"  
"When will Days on Belderone come back-"  
"I'm getting too fat for-"  
  
He could sense, rather than see, Kylo put a palm on his forehead, then Hux succumbed to blissful black a second after wondering why Kylo hadn't been doing that all day.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't use a lot of tags to avoid spoilers, but I'll note content in chapters as they come up. There's a death and some sudden gore at the very end of this chapter. There'll be more of this as the story continues.

Two days later, Kylo found himself at a much larger Resistance base on Nensil, which was a miserable Core World planet with rocky terrain and absolutely no redeeming features save for the fact that nobody would suspect it of supporting life. Kylo still wasn’t sure it did. Standing outside the base, he closed his eyes and reached out, could feel the atmospheric conversion tech at work to make the air breathable. Such things were unnatural and grating, and Kylo winced as he reached further, mostly out of angry curiousity. Further away from the atmosphere tech the soil thinned. Further away from that the planet grew into frigid tundra. There were only clouds and moisture where the base was. He opened his eyes, satisfied that the Resistance had somehow found the most inhospitable planet in the galaxy.

He squinted against the grit blowing in the artificial wind, and glanced over at the low scrub forest, visible in the low light of the dust storm, also planted and maintained near the base, presumably as relief against the rest of the miserable landscape.

He had Hux in his arms. Hux hadn’t been conscious since Kylo had knocked him out in the mess hall. He’d used Force redirection to avert inquiries, get Hux’s unconscious body aboard the shuttle, and to walk with Hux in his arms through the base and to their new room. The redirect had been easy, and nobody had asked or even looked twice.

He hadn’t roused Hux, and could feel Hux drawing in the Force steadily, like a magnet. Kylo could redirect it while touching him, but Hux had been so ill just before Kylo had put him under that Kylo thought it might be better to rouse him when he had an idea of how to fix it. Hux would be ungrateful and still find something to complain about - probably the fact that Kylo hadn’t immediately located C-3PO and R2-D2 - but Kylo could forgive him that. Usually.

Kylo’s control had come back quickly after he’d stopped worrying about (and listening to complaints from) Hux, and he still felt very good. Better than ever, actually. Still, there was something untouchable about the draw in Hux. He hadn’t run across it before.

He had thought to take Hux outside, since he could feel Hux’s body growing weaker from lack of food and water, and he thought drawing in the Force outdoors would be easier on Hux. Kylo could even wake him up, since Hux likely wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the thoughts of others before Kylo could find a way to help or block him. But outside here wasn’t very pleasant. The planet was the temperature of lukewarm soup, the light dim and dusty, and the forest they had enjoyed at the last base was a sparse, low kind of prickly shrub on this planet that was hard to lose yourself in. Kylo’s spirits fell as he walked with Hux among the plants that were clearly struggling for life in the soil and thin atmosphere. The base didn’t have any windows, and while Kylo had been warned there wasn’t much to recommend the surface, he hadn’t realized it was quite this desperate of a situation.

The inhospitable environment that appeared to support no life, combined with the unnatural atmosphere tech, made the Force flow outdoors feel harsh and abrasive. This might actually be harder on Hux in the short term, but it would be easier for Kylo to divert away from him, and maybe he could learn a way to do so here while Hux was awake. And out here, Hux still wouldn’t have to deal with the other soldiers, so Kylo thought he could make it work.

Kylo looked around, doing a quick scan to see if anyone had seen him walk out one of the base doors with Hux’s limp body in his arms. They hadn't. He had one arm under Hux’s knees and one under his shoulders, and carried him toward the sad forest, pushing out a thought that there was nothing to see to anyone who crossed their path.

He carried Hux into the obscuring scrub fairly far, to make sure they wouldn’t be within range of any of the base’s sensors, then laid him out. He scanned for anyone in the vicinity, just in case someone was lingering in their leisure time in this depressing place, but found no one. He turned back to the base and frowned as he crouched down next to Hux’s body and really considered the problem.

What had happened? What had overwhelmed Hux, and what was causing the Force to poison him? Could anyone else feel it? Had Kylo done something desperate and irreversible? He sighed and ran a bare hand through his hair, letting the Hux disguise dissipate as he looked at Hux in frustration, then closed his eyes.

Hux’s own life force was beginning to weaken due to lack of food and water. Kylo put his hand out and felt the Force stabilize around Hux, considering. Perhaps he could wake Hux to have him eat, and keep a hand on him while he did so. Hux would be annoyed, but Kylo could tell him… what? That he’d been unconscious for two days, but here they were on the new base and everything was fine, eat up? Hux wouldn’t buy it. But he might eat, if he was hungry enough. If he wasn’t, Kylo would make sure he did feel hungry enough to eat.

He sighed and opened his eyes again, looking wearily from Hux to the base. Should he bring Hux to the mess hall? Keeping the Force from sinking into Hux, redirecting all the minds when he brought Hux in and took him out unconscious, and keeping his disguise and doing whatever tedious check chores Hux would request might be too much. And part of him delighted in leaving Hux unconscious in the grass by himself. He grinned and stood, walking back to the base. He kept part of his concentration on Hux in the scrub forest, warding him so he remained undetected. Leaving a part of himself with Hux wasn’t difficult, since it was what he liked to do anyway. This would also ensure that Hux wouldn’t wake up naturally and be confused and in pain. Kylo was fairly certain Hux would still be able to handle himself, but just in case. Kylo entertained himself by imagining Hux waking up, panicking, and giving their mission away.

Kylo quickly collected a light dinner (sandwiches, some strange green fruit that was soft and a bit tart), and went back out to the dim, dusty forest for Hux. It was late afternoon, which would last far longer than Kylo was used to on this planet’s 40-standard-hour cycle. The sun was a purplish-orange through the dust, which lent a strange twilight quality to the light. The atmosphere was thin and warm. Kylo shivered involuntarily. Everything felt wrong, bad. The light, the dust blowing against his new olive-colored jumpsuit, the grating and unnatural quality of the Force, the magnetism in Hux. He wanted to accomplish something, to somehow break the mood, but wasn’t sure how as he crouched back down at Hux’s side.

He scanned the area for observation tech and found none (unusual - why weren’t the grounds monitored? Were they really so trusting, or was this planet’s surface really so terrible?), and he also found no organic guards or soldiers on patrol. Nothing. This only added to his dread, and he began to grow angry as he let his Hux disguise fall once again and began to consume one of his sandwiches. The grit blew into the rough bread, and he could feel it between his teeth as he chewed. Foul.

He made a bare connection to Hux, enough to get an empathetic reading from him, and just looked at him. He didn't want Hux in his head right now, couldn’t bring himself to wake Hux when he was so uneasy. He began to dwell in his anger, the result of his powerlessness on Hux’s behalf and the fact he was acting like a scared child, crouching and hiding in the ugly pine shrubs and stuffing himself with sandwiches before someone found him. The anger washed through him, burning away his uncertainty, calming him.

As he let his mind wander, it inevitably went to the sex he had with Hux, as it so often did. He replayed the memory in his mind. He always reminded himself it was to determine where his power had gone wrong, what had happened at the end. But he found himself too caught up in the memory to analyze it in that way. He could replay it almost like a holo in his mind. He could feel himself, and feel Hux, the loss of control, what it had been like inside Hux, fucking him roughly.

He snapped his eyes open, not realizing he had lost himself, mentally escaped reality with an unchewed bite of sandwich still in his mouth. He swallowed roughly and looked back to Hux. He could definitely see why attachments were discouraged. But still. All of it seemed worth it. Even the current predicament meant that, at worst, he would have to touch Hux for the rest of his life. Hux would likely kill both of them before allowing that, though. A shame.

But that violent sex had also been bad, in so many ways. That Hux had been okay with it had been both bad and good, because all that Kylo could think about afterward was how he wanted to fuck Hux again and again and again, and what that meant. What the rest of his life would be like, if the only thing he had was his desire for Hux.

He couldn't bring himself to be upset about this, try as he might. He was supposed to focus, get the larger mental picture of everything. But he only wanted Hux.

Oddly, his Force powers had increased, once he had them back. He could easily reach out and enter anyone's mind on the base from where he was, could go even further, into the orbiting patrol ships, to read emotions if he wished. (they were scared. everyone was scared after the attack on Corellia) He could uproot a tree, could probably bring the whole base down to its foundations, could make Admiral Akbar, wherever he was, beg him to let him tell Kylo the coordinates of the base, and then he'd simply take the memory of doing so away.

He'd considered it, but he thought Hux’s tricks might get them farther. And besides, he wanted to pretend to be Hux's partner longer. He wasn’t sure what would happen after they returned to the Star Destroyers. Kylo would follow him around through all of them, but he wasn’t sure Hux would allow the level of closeness he did here, nor would he allow Kylo to monopolize as much of his time.

Of course, Kylo could demand, but… He smirked. He wouldn’t hesitate to remind Hux, constantly, that he had that power, in more ways than one. But it was so, so much better to feel Hux wanting. He would never take when Hux could give freely.

And _pretend_ wasn't the right word for their current relationship. Hux didn't care how Kylo felt. What Kylo felt was that he wanted Hux all the time, wanted him with him, didn't want to be parted from him. Wanted to devour him, make them both the same person. He felt. He felt very strongly, and he hadn't felt like this before. This was so much better, and so much worse, than when he'd merely imagined having sex with him.

He moved from a crouch down to his knees and kissed Hux on the lips, a little guiltily. He wondered if Hux would let him do it while he was awake. It was 50/50, but Kylo was pretty sure Hux wouldn't care, and would at least let him. It would probably feel the same as kissing him when he was asleep.

He felt a pressure building to his left. He broke the kiss, turned, and was surprised to see someone he recognized from his childhood.

"Grandfather," he said mildly.

"Ben." Anakin Skywalker looked young, anguished, sad. He'd always looked this way when Kylo had seen him as a child, before he'd turned to the Dark Side. He was life-sized this time, rather than being the small vision Ben used to see, but he still looked the same, was still wearing the old-fashioned Jedi robes, was still blue, and Kylo could see the pine scrub straight through him.

His grandfather had been an occasional companion in childhood, when nobody else would speak to him, when he was alone because he was special, because people were afraid of him, because his parents were never around. His grandfather was often there for him, and his grandfather loved him. He always made Ben laugh, and Ben loved his stories about being a Jedi Knight, always told with such a sad look on his face.

His grandfarther had also taught him things about the Force, mostly how to move objects and play with his food. He’d taught Ben how to boil water, and jump higher, and many other things that had ultimately resulted in him being sent away to his uncle. He sensed that his mother was afraid of his rapidly-developing powers. He had grown so angry at his grandfather, then. But he never saw his grandfather again after he went to his uncle.

His grandfather had made him promise never to tell anyone they spoke. But when his grandfather no longer appeared, and he was in isolation with his uncle, who he didn’t know that well and spoke in cryptic riddles and didn’t like telling Ben the stories about the war, he had finally broken down and tried to ask his uncle. He’d done it without mentioning grandfather, just in case his grandfather was thinking about coming back and didn’t, because Ben had done the one thing he was asked not to do.

He asked his uncle whether someone who was dead could come back to life through the Force and talk to them. His Uncle had asked him such earnest questions about how he’d known that, whether anyone was talking to him. His intensity had scared Ben, and Ben had lied.

He’d also learned about the Jedi Masters Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Apparently Obi-Wan was his grandfather’s partner. His grandfather never used his name when he told stories. His uncle had told him a few stories about “Ben” during the Clone Wars, but they weren’t nearly as good as grandfather’s stories were.

Apparently, Master Yoda and Ben had both stopped speaking to his uncle years ago, when he’d struggled with his communion with the Light. His uncle told him that anyone who touched the Dark side couldn’t commune with people who had become one with the Force anymore. Ben had cried, by himself, that night. He wondered what he’d done that was so bad he’d turned to the Dark side. He’d been seven.

He’d never really stopped speaking to his grandfather. He’d pretended he could hear, and young Ben always told him what he was trying to accomplish. It was a habit he never really grew out of. He’d stopped believing his grandfather would come back to him at age 10, and it had been a habit after that.

However, on this miserable planet, kneeling next to Hux’s unconscious form, he didn’t think the ghost of Anakin Skywalker was going to tell him anything he wanted to hear. He grew angry, thinking back to how he’d been abandoned, as a child, and how much it would have meant to young Ben to see his grandfather again. How it meant nothing to him now. He seized the anger, trying to believe his uncle that the Dark side made the Force Ghosts go away.

It didn’t. His grandfather still stood in front of him, looking sad. It only made Kylo angrier. He scowled, his voice coming out more sharply than he intended.

"Why can I see you? I'm no Jedi, seeking advice from past Masters. And you were never made a Master."

At the insult, the vision flickered. Anakin scowled. "I was a Master. Haven’t you had any history lessons since I last saw you, Ben?”

Kylo’s fist clenched at his side, and he thought about the flicker he had just seen. He wondered if he could somehow affect the ghost of his grandfather. “Don’t call me that.”

Anakin crossed his arms, his face hardening. “What should I call you?”

Kylo’s eyes drifted down to Hux, then back to his grandfather. He’d had a lot of names in his life. The request not to be called Ben was automatic - it didn’t really hurt anymore, despite the way Hux had riled him with bad memories previously. But he decided, in the moment, to stand by his request. Hux was the only one allowed to call him something different.

“Darth Caedus.”

Anakin sighed, looking more exasperated than sad. “You don’t want that.”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Try me.”

“I had a title, too. It ruined my life.”

Kylo glanced briefly down to Hux again, and back up. “Mine didn’t. I earned it. So did you.” He raised his eyebrows. “Eventually.”

Anakin dropped his arms and made a noise that Kylo could only interpret as a scoff. “I did. I had to redeem myself eventually though, and so will you.”

Kylo stared at him fior a few silent moments, thinking back to the Clone War stories his grandfather had told him as a boy. He thought about his question, assuming Kylo would know he was a Jedi Master, when there were so few of their names recorded. And he thought of a story his uncle had told him, eventually, about how his grandfather had betrayed the Republic.

“You weren’t a real Jedi Master. Palpatine made the Council give you that rank. And you only held it briefly before Order 66.”

The blue, life-size, translucent vision of his grandfather flickered briefly as a look of rage crossed his face. The man shut his eyes and his expression smoothed, his blue form appearing more solid. He opened his eyes again and stared levelly at Kylo.

“There;s something you need to hear. But because of your focus on the Dark Side, It has to be me that speaks to you, I'm still the only one who can talk to you. Normally Dark Force users can’t see those who have become One at all. Don't make me angry before I tell you what I came here for, or I'll disappear."

Kylo cocked his head, considering this, still not sure he wanted to hear what his grandfather had to say. "Why am I talking to Anakin Skywalker and not Darth Vader? Certainly it would make more sense for the Sith Lord to appear to me, rather than the Jedi ‘Master.’” Kylo put a heavy sarcastic emphasis on the title. “I don't remember waking up a Jedi this morning." As he said it, Kylo reconsidered. Did he? Did that explain why he felt more powerful? The peaceful feeling?

Anakin rolled his own eyes. Maybe that was hereditary. "No. You still aren't a Jedi." Maybe he could see into Kylo’s thoughts, too. Not important. He’d know he wasn’t wanted, then, and there wasn’t anything Kylo thought he would need to guard from a ghost.

"Why can I see ghosts, then?"

Anakin stepped forward, looking more grave. "You did something irrevocable. You merged with the Force, became One with the flow of life. You joined with it, but you pulled yourself back out, were able to re-form your body. Nobody has done that, in the history of the Jedi or Sith."

Kylo blinked, trying to take this in. "I actually died?"

"Yes," Anakin said, growing sad again, looking like he was hitting his stride. Kylo had always sensed a vague self-importance in the talks with his grandfather. He wondered if it was part of his personality, or if all Force Ghosts were self-obsessed. Maybe you needed to be, to feel like people who were still alive needed to hear what you had to say. Anakin continued after a pause.

"You channeled so much of the Force that it broke you apart. You shouldn't have been able to control it, but you did.” He paused and swallowed, and Kylo had a moment to wonder what it was that ghosts needed to swallow down. “You shouldn't have that kind of influence over the midiclorians. Nobody should."

Kylo thought about this, was impressed with his own power. "I have power over death, then? Isn’t that one of the legendary Sith powers, rare and difficult to master?" Exciting. It was said that many had specialties. Kylo’s had always been, ironically, empathy and the way he could see into other people. Knowing and taking such information was fairly Dark, despite the fact that young Ben had always protested that knowing how to accommodate and sympathize with others made you more attuned to their needs.

Power over death was better, though he couldn’t presently think of any regular, practical uses for it.

"Ben, please.” Kylo frowned at the use of the name, after he had told grandfather not to, but he didn’t interrupt. “I can see you making the same mistakes I did. This was the power that Sidious used to seduce me. Don't go down this path. It was power I sought myself, to save... your grandmother. I would have done anything for her, and I did. I lost her because of it. Because I turned to the Dark Side. And it wasn’t just me. I did things for Sidious. After Padme died. I regretted it at the time, I regret it to this day. And there are so many people that still live with the consequences of those decisions. It wasn’t just me. It was the whole galaxy that was upset by that power. It’s not something that’s meant to exist. You have to relinquish it. Turn away."

Kylo was impressed by the intensity of his feelings, and adjusted his opinion of his grandfather slightly. This was slightly less self-obsessed than he had thought. He sounded genuinely remorseful. These events had happened 60 years ago.

But had his grandfather really lived his whole life regretting his choice, or was this Anakin Skywalker speaking, and not Darth Vader? Kylo knew there was a difference.

He also wondered how time passed for those in the Force. Grandfather had been dead almost 30 years, did he feel the passage of time? And… was he together with grandmother now? Was that something that happened after death?

Anakin's grief at speaking this aloud was so intense that Kylo felt it in weak waves from the ghost, and felt a twinge, a knowledge in the back of his mind, that they were the same, because he also-

No. And what was the point of this talk, exactly? Was his grandfather advising him against… what? The Dark Side? Using his powers to bring himself back to life? Ridiculous.

Kylo narrowed his eyes, letting his words come out slowly, a sarcastic drawl. "Grandfather, we havn’t spoken in over twenty years. It sounds like we should catch up first. You must not know that I made my decision in regard to the Dark Side years ago."

Anakin sighed, flickered, obviously suppressing some emotion again, but Kylo couldn’t tell what. "I know that. But it’s why I’m here. You don’t know this, but you can find balance, and then find your way back to the Light. Think of the good you could do the galaxy if only you saw your way to it. The peace of mind you’d have if you learned to control your emotions, expel your passion."

Kylo looked away from the ghost of Anakin Skywalker, out across the seedy twilight of the planet. Down into Hux's face.

He wanted this. His emotion. Everything attached to his current situation. An appeal to the welfare of others wouldn’t work on him. It probably would never have worked on him. He didn’t look at his grandfather when he spoke.

“My feelings, my powers, it’s all me. It’s who I am. The Light demands that you be like all the others before you. I’m not. I wasn’t good at denying myself. But I am better at controlling myself now. The Dark helped with that.” He looked up at his grandfather. “You weren’t well-suited to the Light either, were you?”

It was an appeal for common ground, understanding. Anakin shifted on his feet before responding. “I was irresponsible, and I’m trying to tell you not to be. It’s better if you are like everyone else.”

Kylo exhaled in amusement, seeing that the ghost would not indulge him in any sort of sympathetic discussion as to the similarities of their path.

“I always thought you would understand what I’d done. You’d understand how I struggled with my uncle, why I never fit in, why this still feels like it suits me better than the Light.” He clenched his jaw. His grandfather was right here, and he might as well admit it. “I see I’ve been wrong about you all this time. You’re set on making my decisions for me, not trusting me to know myself. You’re just like the rest of my family.”

Kylo would be more disappointed, but he had the First Order now. The freedom to make his own choices within it was more immensely satisfying, more of a relief than he was willing to admit to even himself.

His grandfather set his jaw and stared at Kylo, but didn’t reply. Apparently he didn’t have a rebuttal for Kylo’s expectations. Kylo looked back down at Hux, back up at his grandfather. “And you had grandmother. The Jedi are a celibate order.”

Anakin was silent for a moment, then said flatly "You don't need to have sex to use the Force."

Kylo allowed himself a twinge of anger, but clamped down on it fast, trying to prove to himself and his grandfather that he had control. Of course he did. His grandfather had control too, even as Darth Vader. Probably more of it.

"I know I don’t need sex, or… attachment to use the Force. I've been without my whole life. But it’s different now. It feels better. I feel better. It’s not something I plan on giving up."

His grandfather crossed his arms again, and looked at Kylo gravely. “Attachment blinds you to many other things in the world. It breeds selfishness, and causes you to value a few over the many. It’s not the view of life that benefits a Force user. All is the Force. Life, death, attachment to places or things or people… it’s nothing to the Force. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way, and I’m trying to give you the benefit of my experience.” He clenched his jaw again, pausing for a second. “I’m trying to fix my own mistakes by guiding you in the right direction."

Kylo was finding this conversation increasingly hypocritical and condescending. His patience was wearing thin. “I think this talk would have worked better if you had given me this advice when I was seven, instead of leaving me alone with my thoughts and a mold I didn’t fit in.” He paused. “It was you showing me my own powers that caused my mother to send me off to Jedi training.”

Anakin’s brow creased. “I couldn’t help you any more back then. But your powers have escalated into a serious threat, and you need to be stopped.” He pursed his lips. “Turned in a different direction.”

"You," Kylo began, voice low, getting more angry. The vision of Anakin sharpened. "You of all people should know how I feel. What would you have done, to get grandmother back?"

Anakin flickered again. "Anything." he whispered, dropping his head, then raising it again. "That's why I'm telling you this. Attachment only leads to misery. It’s the wrong kind of power. You can save yourself that, if you’re not currently interested in others."

"No," Kylo insisted, his anger spiking again. He could feel it pounding in his head, against the back of his eyes, at his temples. It was dull. This conversation was pointless. He wished he could send his grandfather away.

To his shock, Anakin Skywalker became more solid, shifted out of a blue spectrum to natural color, stumbled to his knees, fell to the ground. He looked up at Kylo, confused.

The odd filtered light played off Anakin's curls. The grit in the wind blew into his face, and he winced. The wind tossed his brown robes, and his hands plunged into the loose, dry soil of the scrub forest. Kylo could see the pulse throbbing slightly, just below his jaw.

They stared at each other. Anakin sat up on his knees and studied his dirty hands, wiped them against his robes, put them to his face. Pulled them away, flexed his fingers, made fists. Looked back up at Kylo, steadily.

“This isn’t right, Ben. It’s not something anyone or anything should have the power to do. This is dangerous.” But he was quiet as he said it, looking back down to his hands again, one going through his hair.

Kylo's mind boggled, the ramifications of this becoming more and more clear. "I can… what, make people?" It seemed so surreal, so... deliciously wrong. "I don't understand. You're begging me not to use my powers, when I've brought you back to life? Why wouldn't you be asking me to bring grandmother back too, so you two could try again?” He paused, considering the message his grandfather had just been trying to get across. “Or maybe you can follow the path of Light this time, since you already lived one lifetime the other way." This seemed reasonable to Kylo. It might be what he would do himself.

"Padme wouldn't want it," Anakin admitted sulkily, reluctantly. "Padme wouldn't... you have to understand, Ben, what it's like to make a decision like this, to decide that you should hold the power of life and death over people. When I did it..." his face crumpled. He put his hand out, showing the memory to Kylo rather than speaking it out loud. Kylo closed his eyes, unused to having visions forced on him like this by others, unused to being around other Force users at all.

It was the last time his grandfather had seen Padme Amidala. She had been pleading with him, pregnant, completely heartbroken that Anakin had done so many evil things.  He wanted to overthrow the Republic, remake the galaxy with Palpatine.  _You’re going down a path I can’t follow._

"I can follow it."

Kylo opened his eyes and looked down at Hux. He was embarrassed to find that he had been holding his head in his lap. Predictably, Hux didn’t seem to react to this.

"Please." Hux said, disgustedly, presumably at Kylo's embarrassment. He sat up.

“If I understood your vision correctly, your wife denounced you didn't believe in democracy?  Because you used sudden, unexpected violence to bring an end to the Republic?" He turned to Kylo, shrugging. "Does that sound like something I’d object to?"

A thrill ran through Kylo, wondering if Hux returned his feelings. He didn't push into Hux's mind to find out. Suddenly, he realized the wrongness of the situation.

"You shouldn't be able to see him." He probably shouldn’t even be awake. How had that happened?

Hux shrugged. "I can see him. Any explanations from beyond the grave?" He asked, turning to Anakin.

The muscles worked in Anakin's jaw, and Kylo could feel the hate rolling off him. It felt good, to feel this firsthand. The anger that had been Darth Vader, even if Anakin Skywalker was only a ghost of things to come.

Well, not really a ghost any more.

"Ben, you killed him too, and brought him back to life at the same time as yourself. He's one with the Force, as you are."

"I... gave him my powers?"

"No. He's merely a pale reflection of what you can do-"

"But I can use the Force? I can... read people's minds, and know what they're going to do in battle, and… all the rest?" Hux actually sounded excited, and wasn't acting. This was a first for Kylo.

Anakin sighed, closing his eyes. "It's not the Jedi way, but you're going to have to kill him, too."

Kylo laughed. He felt Hux recoil at the sound, laughed harder. It was ridiculous, all of this was ridiculous, impossible. At some point, this afternoon had turned into the worst Jedi morality tale he could imagine. He was being given advice by his grandfather - by Darth Vader - to turn to the Light and kill his lover. He’d also somehow brought him back to life, because he could do that now, too.

"Why would I kill him? What makes you think I would do that, just because you asked?"

"He's an abomination, Ben. Worse than Sidious, worse than you or I. We had to feel something in order to cross over to the Dark. He was born with it. He's feels nothing. He can't have the kind of communion with the Force he has and be allowed to live."

Kylo grinned, overly amused at the whole conversation. "And would you have killed grandmother, if ordered to by the Jedi Council?"

"I did kill her! I killed her with my life choices, my arrogance, my certainty that I was the most powerful Jedi in the history of the Council-"

"But I can bring Hux back to life if he dies. Also, grandmother's death sent you to the Dark Side. But I'm already a Master. And, as it turns out, Hux is okay with that. We have similar goals."

Kylo could feel Hux gloating, feeling so proud of Kylo. It emboldened him.

"So dying won't really change anything, for me or for him. Plus, the Sith Rule of Two seems to have been made for us." A Master and an Apprentice. The Apprentice always sought to overpower and kill the master, but if Hux’s powers were a shadow of Kylo’s, it would never happen. Probably. The thought of training Hux, of having this in common, something to tie Hux to himself after the mission… it was exactly what he wanted.

Anakin's jaw dropped. "You can't do this! You can’t seriously be considering training him! It's... Ben, you know better, you know you can't-"

Kylo was done with this. He knew he had heard everything his grandfather had to say, and that the two of them weren’t going to agree on anything. And his grandfather couldn’t be here, would certainly turn them in to the Resistance, hoping that Kylo would somehow see his way to the Light. Kylo curled his lip. Well, if his grandfather was so enlightened and indifferent about the difference between life and becoming one with the Force, let him go back to where he came from.

Kylo put his hand out. He used the Force to stop Anakin Skywalker's heart. His grandfather’s eyes rolled down, and back up to meet Kylo’s. Kylo spoke, feeling an eerie sense of calm, of _rightness_. The heavy, oppressive feeling from earlier, his uncertainties about the conversation, all of it disappeared in the feeling that he was doing the right thing, that he was taking the right thing for himself. And for Hux.

"I have to train him. He’s sick with it right now. And you just explained. I can do anything I want. Including bring you to life and kill you, over and over again."

Kylo held on and watched the look of stunned incredulity fade into death. He dropped him, after a moment.

There was silence. Kylo recognized he’d done a cold thing, a callous thing. Perhaps his grandfather was right. This wasn’t power he should have. He sought out the part of himself that would agree with his grandfather, that would understand the message he had been trying to give Kylo.

But instead he found Hux, Hux’s thoughts inside him. Hux was mildly curious, looking at the body on the ground. But that was it. There wasn’t anything else. Kylo despaired, but was also relieved and thrilled that Hux was well, had finally woken up.

Hux got to his feet and studied his grandfather.

"Can you get rid of the body?"

Hux was right, of course. They couldn’t leave him out here, someone would find him. Kylo considered it. He walked over to stand next to Hux, gathered the Force into his hands, knelt next to his grandfather. Forced the power into him, trying to unmake his body the same way he’d felt it snap into existence just a short time ago.

The body exploded into a bloody mist, showering Kylo and Hux with offal.

Hux looked disgusted, then his face smoothed. He turned to regard Kylo, and was silent for a moment before speaking.

"This is one of the most unusual things I have ever seen."

"What, me blowing a body apart with the Force?"

"No." Hux paused. "Somehow, that might have been the most normal part."

"I love you." Kylo blurted, absurdly, not looking at Hux. Hux didn't respond. He turned, looked at Hux, who had bits of gore blown through his hair, clinging to his jaw, spattered all over his Resistance jumpsuit. Parts of Anakin's brains were stuck in his eyebrows.

Hux smiled. And then he laughed. He laughed so hard he sat down on the ground, doubled over.

Kylo stared at Hux, laughing until tears mingling with blood on his face. After Hux had finished, he leaned his head between his knees. Kylo knelt down on the ground in front of him, grabbed his face roughly, and kissed him.

It was like kissing him when he was asleep, so he provided more instruction. _Open your mouth and use your tongue._

Kylo was waiting for the pointed comment, but Hux did as asked, and Kylo forced his tongue between his teeth. Hux bit down, and Kylo tasted blood and possibly Anakin Skywalker. He dug his fingers into Hux's jaw until his mouth opened further, and Kylo could explore more.

He broke the kiss, both breathless. He didn't look up into Hux's eyes. Partially because he didn't want the memory of his first kiss with Hux to include them both being covered with the remains of his grandfather’s ghost.

"You're going to have to deal with that. It’s all over us."

Kylo looked up into Hux's eyes, saw their cold blue arrogance, fell a little more in love.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter include a moment of a suicidal thought. There's also not a lot of verbal communication when they have sex, but both enjoy violence, and what they do is consensual.

Hux was, of course, bound by smooth black ropes and dangling upside-down from the ceiling of the room he and Kylo had taken to using for training. The rope was bound over his clothes, across his chest, waist, thighs, and calves, with his wrists bound behind his back. And why wouldn’t he be hanging from the ceiling? They had been nearly a month on board the freighter _Meritus_ , hurtling towards some forsaken Outer Rim planet that Kylo knew the location of because he had raided the pilot’s mind like a pantry. Hux continued to leave this kind of work to Kylo, who could move in and out of people’s minds and remain largely unaffected. Kylo claimed it was the specialty of his powers, and Hux didn’t see a reason to disagree.

Shortly after their arrival at the main base, the Resistance had sent them on a tour of all their operational bases and outposts. As defected Stormtroopers, others found them inspirational, and their knowledge of the First Order was comforting. The Resistance fighters liked to hear that there were troopers like Kylo and Hux in the First Order, people who could be freed, who genuinely wanted and needed the Resistance’s help. They had faces (or, in their case, one face), and many of the fighters had gone up against Stormtroopers. They were a more tangible symbol than the alien population of a distant Outer Rim planet, someone they could actively save, as opposed to the vaporized population of the Hosnian system.

Hux thought this situation might actually be laughable, were he inclined to such things. Kylo and the intensive training programs assured him that the Troopers were loyal. There was FN-2187, but in theory, there weren’t any Troopers like what Hux and Kylo were pretending to be. They were getting the Resistance motivated to waste their lives. The Resistance fighters might try to reason with Stormtroopers who were happy with their place and would slaughter them without thought. Perhaps giving them a symbol was a bad idea, as they would fight harder for it. But there was a certain kind of heartlessness in delivering this type of false propaganda directly to every member of the Resistance from two of the most powerful members of the First Order that appealed to Hux.

Hux almost didn’t believe they trusted him this much when they had first approached Kylo and himself about the tour. Kylo had found the trust very funny. Hux had been suspicious, but Kylo couldn’t see a trap in the minds of the officers at the base. Hux didn’t trust that either, as the orders were coming from elsewhere, but these men seemed to believe it was sincere.

His suspicions had almost led him to beg off with some sort of false modesty excuse, or fear of being discovered by the First Order. The initial temptation to discover all the locations, officers, and tech that the Resistance possessed was also mitigated somewhat by the thought that the droids they were after should have a lot of that information. But it was possible the droids hadn’t visited all the bases, or interacted with the personnel, and it was too great an opportunity to map out the locations himself, meet the staff, find their weaknesses, and gain a strategic advantage for eliminating every location. So of course he had accepted.

The propaganda just made the decision that much better. But it was exhausting, giving the same false message over and over again.

So for the past month, they had gone from base to base, and talked with everyone from officers to pilots to infantry to the maintenance workers and tech staff. They had all fallen for Hux’s particular brand of simpering fear and the basic descriptions he gave of Stormtrooper routines, and how there were so many other Troopers just like himself and his companion. He didn’t really give them any information they could use against the Order, and he downplayed the skills of the soldiers, hoping it would gain the Order a strategic advantage in a fight.

Hux wasn’t inclined to lying, necessarily, and was tired of the acting and constant falsehood. He was also increasingly annoyed at the open acceptance of everyone they met, but Kylo was growing to enjoy the deception immensely. His specialty, in these talks, was the Order’s Sith Lord. Hux allowed him to exaggerate (or, at least Hux thought of it as such, he suspected Kylo didn’t agree) his own talents, telling the soldiers that his main purpose behind agreeing to visit the bases was that it kept the two of them away from the relentless attention of the Sith Lord.

Hux found himself wishing almost daily that it was true.

In the _Meritus_ , Kylo stood silently looking at Hux, arms crossed. Hux regarded him from his upside-down position on the ceiling, his face and head long gone numb. Hux silently fumed as he studied Kylo’s sturdy, muscular frame, his wide shoulders, the long fingers wrapped around his own forearms, his massive thighs, the deep brown eyes set underneath the unruly black hair.  The blank look on his face, which was still bored and just a little stupid-looking.

They had no need of disguises aboard this ship, nor their false personalities, and Hux found himself studying the true face of Kylo more and more. He tried to form an opinion of him, some connection, some feeling for this. But he couldn’t, aside from his usual feelings of exasperation and frustration, with his training specifically and Kylo in general.

The Resistance hadn’t trusted them enough to send them by themselves, but the crew of 4 who had been sent to babysit them had been child’s play for Kylo. Kylo brought them in and out of consciousness as needed. Most of the time, they were not needed, and Kylo and Hux frequently chose to stay aboard their personal freighter (a freighter, of course, to mask themselves, though Hux preferred the room aboard the freighter to the ones on a standard transport shuttle), claiming to enjoy the company of the crew they were growing closer to. The crew, whose names Kylo couldn’t be bothered to remember, backed them up in this.

Hanging from the white-paneled ceiling was, somehow, a training exercise. Today, Hux was allowed to look at Kylo. He was wearing a Resistance uniform that he had stolen from the pilot. It was one Hux hadn’t seen before - blue jacket trimmed with gold and gold buttons, a blue command cap in gold and black, a red insignia that Hux couldn’t parse, tight pants that fed into black ankle boots, a gold-buckled belt over the tunic. It didn’t fit him, and the buttons strained down his chest, the cuffs came up short over his wrists, and the jacket was likely cut to mid-thigh, but came up much higher on Kylo. His dark hair had grown long, and curled and waved under the cap and down past his ears, nearly to his collar. The lightsaber scar cut across his impassive face. He wasn't wearing the helmet that hid his expression today, but he had taken to wearing a shielded fighter helmet lately, when Hux had a stray memory of it and thought it might hide Kylo's boredom better. Kylo had locked him in a room designed for captives for a full day and had worn the mask for another full day, emotions fully blocked from Hux, when Hux was allowed out.

The training was allegedly for both of them. Today, Kylo was holding out well, as he'd been standing in the same position and staring at Hux for hours. Hux suspected he was practicing meditation while using the Force to hold his facial expression neutral. Behind him, three crewmembers were also staring vacantly at Hux, propped up against reflective steel cabinets and semi-animated by Kylo.  The main lounge was plain, with no viewports or screens, only one door in or out, and now, no chairs or tables once they had been removed.  There were a few storage cabinets around the perimeter, the low lights that ran around the edges of the ceiling, and two doors out.  Otherwise, there were the three captives, Kylo, and Hux, hanging from fixtures Kylo had installed himself.

Kylo kept the crewmembers asleep, waking them periodically so they could complete their duty rounds, eat, and do other things. They were oblivious to their downtime. Hux thought they were rather like Kylo’s pets. Today, Kylo was using them as props to try and distract Hux. Hux didn't know why. He was fairly sure Kylo knew Hux didn't feel threatened by the fact Kylo could wake them up, since they'd just have to kill them or manipulate their minds. He wondered if Kylo thought Hux might feel shame, being tied up in front of others. Hux wasn't sure why he should be embarrassed by zombies who couldn't see him. He was also fairly sure that, short of Kylo plowing him in a feed broadcast galaxy-wide as a sex act between Darth Caedus and Commander General Hux of the First Order, Kylo was right. Nobody cared about Hux's sex life.

Hux was also wearing an officer's uniform, stolen from a base early on. It was black and very similar to his own First Order uniform, down to the gloves and black buttons and belt. Only the flared pants were different. The thick fabric kept the pull of the smooth rope from his skin. Being tied up tended to turn him on to distraction, so he had been allowed to at least have the sensation of the rope off his skin. Today, rather than sex, the objective was to undo the bonds himself using the Force.

Hux's Force training had been mostly bitter failure thus far. In terms of controlling the Force for his own purposes... he couldn't feel it moving through him like Kylo said he should be able to, and thus couldn't harness it to do other things, like lift small objects, divert blaster shots, or undo knots.

He could only feel it when Kylo laid a hand on him and moved the Force through him. When that happened, Hux thought he would pass out. Channeling the Force felt like touching the lives of every single person and thing that had ever lived in the galaxy. Hux couldn't fathom or process it. Nor could he adequately explain to Kylo why he found the whole thing overwhelming and unpleasant.

Kylo told him that sometimes the ability came out under distress. Thus these lengthy sessions of Hux hanging from the ceiling with the blood rushing into his head and out of his tightly bound extremities, Kylo and the crewmembers staring at him. Or not staring at him, as the case may be. This kind of test was difficult for Hux, since there wasn’t much he felt distressed about, necessarily, and the mundane, low-level anger he often felt as a result of Kylo’s antics didn’t seem to be the kind of emotion that was necessary for this.

He would speak, to interrupt this little charade, but speaking out of turn during Force training was apparently taboo.  The resulting punishment, which had sometimes included sex, hadn't quite killed and remade him, but had come close. Hux wondered, if he pushed Kylo that far again sexually, would he get more Force powers? Would he get more control?

Today, his patience outlasted Kylo's, but only Kylo could really tell how much time had passed. Kylo blinked (Hux couldn't tell if Kylo hadn't been, or if he was only doing it deliberately now) and looked Hux up and down, a condescending look on his face that Hux wished he could somehow wipe off.

Kylo walked up and around Hux, silently studying his bindings as he made a full circuit and stopped directly in front, looking up into his face.

"You've failed. Again." Mostly dispassionate, tinged with just the right amount of disappointment to set Hux off.

Hux dug his gloved fingertips into his palms and said nothing. Kylo would punish him if he gave an excuse, which is all he had, but failing at tasks, not being able to plan his way out of something, truly upset Hux in a way that he didn’t often feel. He had no equivalent experience to this training, and he was beginning to understand he just couldn't do it.

Kylo took the Force training very seriously. Hux thought it was unlike him, and he appreciated seeing this side of Kylo, even when it came at his own expense.

This type of training necessitated negative reinforcement. It had taken some days before Kylo had devised punishments that didn't involve physical force, since that turned both of them on. Hux didn't like to dwell on the alternatives.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?"

"No."

Kylo sighed dramatically. "It's like you don't even want to use the Force."

Hux flexed his wrists, trying to keep the frustration to himself. Failing. "You know I can't! I can't feel-"

A twinge in the back of his head. Kylo had learned how to manipulate his emotions, which was a nasty skill. Hux hated it.

Hux often immersed himself in Kylo’s thoughts after sex, finding that Kylo’s feelings gave the experience an ending and purpose he lacked without a connection to Kylo. Kylo had felt him doing this, and had been curious if he could put his own emotions in Hux’s head. Hux hadn’t exactly been amenable to this, though Kylo had eventually convinced him to try it as an experiment. The experiment had succeeded, and had been extremely effective. Kylo could force Hux into feeling anything.

He wasn’t a fan of it, though he found it was a fairly effective negative reinforcement for mastering the powers Kylo had somehow given him. The way Kylo could do this was truly unpleasant, and made it easy for Hux to find the strength to gather the fledgling powers he felt and force Kylo out of his head.

Hopelessness washed through Hux, twisting in his gut, clamping his mouth shut, making him feel like a complete and utter failure. Kylo claimed Hux felt these emotions more than most he coerced in this way, since the feelings were unfamiliar to Hux. Hux hated it, though he acknowledged it as part of the training process.

Hux began gasping for breath, trying to twist out of his bonds on the ceiling, not caring about the fall to the floor. After Hux struggled physically for several minutes, writhing without reaching for the Force for help, Kylo released him, and he fell onto his back to the shiny durasteel floor. Hux rolled over and got on his hands and knees, facing the floor, wanting to disappear, knowing that there was no point to resisting Kylo, knowing there was no reason to try and master anything. He would always fail. He contemplated his current situation, and the many ways it had gone wrong, the bad decisions that had led him to kneeling on the floor at Kylo’s feet.

Failure crushed him, robbing the breath from his lungs, and suddenly, he wanted to be free, he wanted to end his own suffering, wipe himself out of existence. He wanted to do it fast.

Kylo's lightsaber.

He reached for it, tried to Force-grab it. It was so close, and he knew he could do it. It was so light, and he needed it so badly...

With an effort, he threw Kylo out of his mind.

Kylo could only force his emotions for a few minutes before Hux regained control. Hux crouched, gasping on the floor for another minute before he stood and faced Kylo, his impersonal mask back in place.

Kylo exhaled sharply through his nose, looking annoyed. "I don't know how you expect to learn control when you won't let me utilize one of the most common and important bonds in the master-apprentice relationship."

"It's not a lack of control, _master_ ," Hux emphasized the sarcasm on the title. Kylo had insisted on being called this, and Hux made sure it was an insult each time, "It's that I can’t feel the flow of the Force at all. If anything, the fact you can't control my mind suggests that I have a great deal of control over myself, at the very least. Or that you lack control of the Force."

Kylo spun away, not wanting Hux to see the look on his face. Outside of sexual interaction, Hux had mostly stopped reading Kylo's mind and emotions when he had learned how to clamp down on it. He no longer went into the minds of others, either, by choice.  His initial experience had been so overwhelming that he didn't feel entirely safe trying it again. He left that to Kylo. Control over his own mind, and control not to enter the minds of others, was the first thing he had learned, and it had come fast. Kylo had needed to keep a mental barrier around him, and they had sat for nearly two days in isolation until Hux no longer felt the brush of Kylo’s thoughts against his own.

It had been extremely difficult and hard-won. Hux suspected that he wasn’t succeeding at any of the other aspects of his training because he wasn’t motivated by insanity as he had been for that.

Hux was used to understanding and being good at things very fast. This training was becoming increasingly futile, and he found it infuriating to throw himself at a barrier he couldn’t overcome, again and again.

He suspected his anger at the failure was why Kylo was insisting on the training, for the novelty of seeing something that Hux was bad at. Which made Hux even angrier. He was sometimes tempted to go into Kylo’s mind to verify this, but he didn’t have to. Kylo was easy to read.

Abruptly, Kylo turned around and backhanded him across the face. Hux took it, withstood it. Turned and regarded him coldly. "What was that for?"

"Don't speak to your master that way."

Without thinking, Hux struck Kylo harder across the face. Kylo looked suitably shocked for a moment, and Hux rode the wave of his success by physically grabbing Kylo’s lightsaber and turning it on, taking a high guard position.

"I'm confused. I thought masters were capable of teaching their craft to their students? That doesn't seem to be happening here. Give me a reason to treat you with respect, and I will."

This had only worked because Hux was capable of striking out without thought. He didn’t need to think about slapping Kylo. He found that he could do it impulsively, and Kylo somehow couldn’t anticipate it. He'd been doing experiments this past week, realizing that Kylo could block him if he thought of striking and couldn’t if he struck out on instinct. Useful, since clamping down on those reactions took effort. Letting them happen had come surprisingly easily. He could let himself go in a fight, if needed.

This fight was still stupid and futile, because Kylo could just freeze him and take the lightsaber. The hopeless anger that flooded through him, knowing that he could never best Kylo in a fight, made the situation even worse. He hated feeling useless, lost at anything, and this whole trip was growing into an exercise in frustration. He gritted his teeth, and his grip tensed on the handle of the lightsaber before he reminded himself to relax.

Kylo stared at him a moment, a trickle of blood running from his nose. To Hux's surprise, Kylo Force-grabbed the other lightsaber they had made, on a workbench in the corner of the room, and turned it on.  The red blade extended and hummed steadily.

This had been the only other part of training that Hux had actually been good at. And this only because Hux had been good at engineering and electronics in school. Kylo showed him how to assemble and disassemble his lightsaber, but told Hux he likely wouldn’t be able to get a crystal. This had confounded Hux, since they’d already spoke of the rarity of the crystals. But then Hux remembered that the crystals were sometimes used in heavy armament, and had managed to find one in some older weapons on one of the bases they’d been to. It felt satisfying to have his own energy weapon, though he wasn’t sure when he’d use it, save for fighting Kylo. He was unlikely ever to be in a hand-to-hand combat situation, and he couldn’t use it to practice in the same way he could with his other swords. So what good was It?

He could use it to hit Kylo, and that was something, but that was basically all.

The current situation wasn't ideal, since he had Kylo's stupid fucking crossguard blade, which was impossible to use without burning your hands or killing yourself unless you were Darth Caedus. But he hadn't been doing his regular exercises in nearly two months, and they hadn’t actually practiced dueling with these lightsabers. This was partially because Hux had completed his recently, but he also suspected that Kylo knew Hux wouldn’t pull his strikes. But if Kylo was willing to indulge him now, he ached to try it out.

Hux stepped eagerly into the first attack, and they fought. Hux knew he was excellent at what he practiced, and had been drilling himself ever since he’d first learned. But against Kylo, Hux felt lazy and untrained. Kylo was fast, and his style was merciless and unnecessarily showy. It was infuriating. Kylo had been away from sword training at least as long as Hux. Possibly longer, as he doubted Kylo did exercises every night prior to this mission as Hux had. But Hux was losing, and Kylo was fighting like it was something he did daily.

But the more Hux fought, the more relaxed he became, and the more like an exercise it was. He dodged and parried, and eventually found a rhythm to the fight. He couldn't land a blow against Kylo, and Kylo was obviously toying with him, but it felt good to try.  The unstable blade hissed and crackled in Hux's grip, and the weapons came together in loud clashes and bright bursts of light.  The energy blade was balanced differently than what Hux was used to, but he found he was adapting easily, and he was surprised to find he wasn't distracted by the ridiculous noises and lights of the fight.  It was excessive, but so was Kylo.

After some time trading guards and blocked strikes, Kylo lunged forward suddenly and burned Hux's side with the blade. Not a strike, just the merest brush with a weapon that could burn through the hull of the ship.

"Open your mind to my thoughts. You'll be able to read my actions and reactions better."

Hux stepped back a moment, panting and sweating, ignoring the blistering burn on his side, and realized it was good advice.

He did the exact opposite, which was to completely close his mind to Kylo. He left it open to Kylo as a matter of course, since Kylo would just force his way in eventually anyway, and this was less painful. But he had always been able to shut him out for a period, and had since learned more effective ways to shut down any readings at all from himself. Hux did so now. Kylo's face grew angry, and the fight continued in earnest.

Kylo was holding back, but no longer toying with Hux, who was a dangerous opponent. Hux wasn't pulling his strikes, and would maim or kill Kylo if he landed one. Kylo was obviously trying not to hurt Hux, which gave Hux more confidence. Hux didn't care if Kylo hit him. If he died, he knew Kylo would just bring him back to life.

Hux lunged, and Kylo twisted impossibly away. He brought the sword over quickly, then up to block a strike from Kylo that was merely meant to send him on the defensive. Kylo spun his sword in his hand, and brought it down in another arc, then another, trying to push Hux back. Hux blocked, but didn't give ground.

Kylo twisted impossibly again and attempted to knock Hux's legs out from under him. Hux dodged by jumping back, annoyed that Kylo was beginning to resort to Force maneuvers. He brought the sword down, trying to land a strike against one of Kylo's legs as he moved back, but Kylo had pulled back impossibly fast, and Hux had never had a great deal of control when he had to move quickly and defensively.

They traded a few more hits, and Hux landed a light blow on Kylo's shoulder. Kylo hissed and stepped back, then ended the fight by seizing control of Hux's body and freezing his limbs in place. Both were panting, sweating. Hux was aroused, of course, and annoyed with himself.

"I should have known you'd cheat." Hux responded cooly, between breaths, trying to ignore his state, wondering if Kylo would pursue him.

"You were trying to kill me. There's no rules in a fight to the death."

Hux smiled insincerely. "Now you're learning from me."

Kylo snorted. "I learned that long before I met you."

At this, Kylo wrenched the lightsaber away from Hux, letting it fly into his hand, deactivated. He put it back in his belt, and turned the one in his hand off, tossing it casually into a corner. Hux bristled at the mistreatment of his weapon, one of the only tangible signs of his achievement on this stupid mission. Kylo turned back to Hux, who was frozen in mid-stride, and regarded him.

"I won. Does that mean you'll call me master?"

"Cheating in a fight is hardly a respectable action."

Kylo's brow furrowed, more angry. "And I haven't done anything respectable lately? Covering our actions from the Resistance? Seizing control of the ship? Teaching you to control your new powers?"

"I wouldn't have to control them if you hadn't give them to me in the first place, after you’d lost control of your own powers." Hux returned icily. "Besides, this is your mission. I'd like to think it would be expected that you perform the bare minimum to make it succeed."

Kylo forced Hux to his knees, pushing him to sit back on them with his hands forced to the floor just behind him, bending his face to look up at Kylo. Hux let it happen, didn’t fight it, kept his arrogant mask in place.

"What do you want from me? Really?"

Hux's eyes lit up. This was easy. "I want you to get these droids. I want you to help me find every single cell of the Resistance and crush them. I want you to go in to every government that refuses to submit to First Order regulation, and I want you to kill until the only people left agree that strict galactic oversight is necessary. I want you to do that until every planet in every corner of the galaxy knows that they’ll answer to you unless they do what I want, and then I want you to stand behind me and look threatening whenever I tell people to do something they don't like. I want you to kill until people stop telling me no. And I want you to fuck me until my body and mind are a bloody ruin, then I want you to do it again as soon as that's no longer the case."

Kylo stared at him, and Hux couldn't read his face. He had been honest, which was probably best, given the direction that Kylo’s thoughts seemed to be taking.

"You don't care how I feel. You don't care what I want."

Hux wanted to sigh, but didn't.  He was tired of this conversation, growing weary of Kylo.  He had honestly tried to give Kylo what he wanted, to try to pull the thoughts and emotions from Kylo's head and make them his own, if for nothing else, to see what that felt like.  But it would have also ended these tedious conversations.  

Kylo was an immature mess, even with all his power, all his dangerous abilities, and the way he could effortlessly do anything that Hux wanted, save for keep his hands to himself.  The contrast between who Kylo was and how he presented himself drove Hux absolutely up the wall.

Still, he needed him.  While there was nothing inside himself that drew him to Kylo the same way that Kylo was drawn to him, he did find that he developed a certain possessiveness.  Kylo was ridiculous, but Hux needed to tolerate him, didn't want to drive him away.  So he gave Kylo honesty instead, which was one of the only things inside himself he had to give.

"No, I don't care what you want. I'm not sure where you would have gotten the idea that I did. The sex is a mutually beneficial situation, I thought, and I'd rather not stop, but you're free to go anytime you'd like."

"That's cold."

"Again, who do you think I am? You can read my thoughts."

"I can. I know you don't... really feel for me, like I do."

"No. You can love me if you want, or not. I don't care. If it makes you happy to do so, feel free."

"It would make me happier if you pretended you liked it, just a little."

Hux shrugged. "You'd know I was lying. And I hate lying." It was true. He valued the truth in an ally above anything else. That he wouldn't lie to Kylo was one of the strongest trusts he could place in him. He opened his mind so Kylo knew this.

Kylo's face softened. "Is that all there will ever be? You'll tell me the truth, and that's it? I can know that I'm the only person you'll always tell the truth to?"

Hux attempted a stiff-shouldered shrug, unsure what to say, waiting for Kylo to continue.

Kylo sighed. "And what about government reform? What if I have no interest in that?"

"Then why would you be a member of the First Order? Are you tied to it through Snoke?" Hux was genuinely puzzled. If Kylo wasn't looking for power, what was he doing, wrecking the Resistance?

Kylo shook his head, smiling a little. "I'm not tied to Snoke for anything. I killed Snoke. It was how I completed my training."

Hux was stunned. Had he not been held in place, he would have rushed forward, shaken Kylo. This news was… typical, he supposed, of what he’d been learning about the mess of Kylo’s life. "Snoke is dead? For how long?"

Kylo looked away as he thought about it. "Six months? Seven?"

That's why Snoke hadn't contacted any of the generals, or Hux, in so long. His mind boggled. "So who's running the First Order?"

"You are. And me, I guess, since you have to do what I say."

Hux was furious. "Why didn't you tell me immediately?"

"I thought you might not have agreed to go on this mission."

"I wouldn't have! Why are we here, rather than monitoring the power vacuum after the shipping lanes went to us?"

Kylo stepped forward, his brow furrowing again. "Because this is the next step! If we can get these droids, we will know every single facet of how the Resistance works, who its members are, where they’re located, and which governments are sympathetic. We'll know every site Leia Organa has visited to plan any sort of Resistance alliance, every single place that has even been vaguely considered. We will know every person those two droids has seen and spoken to. And we'll also know where Luke Skywalker is, so I can kill him and end the Jedi threat."

Hux thought this over. It was still a good plan, and hearing more detail about the aftermath made him feel better about being away from the First Order. As did the thought he was seeing much of the Resistance first hand. He was beginning to wonder at how complete the picture was that these droids would paint, and feeling better about his own involvement in this scheme.

"Will killing Luke Skywalker really be the end of the Jedi?"

Kylo stepped back, his face smoothing. He shrugged in turn. "For a while. When there's a power vacuum on one side or the other, the Force gives the power to an individual. When Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda stopped fighting against the Sith lord Darth Sidious, the Force founds it way more strongly to Luke Skywalker, and guided him to the path of a Jedi, even with minimal training. When Darth Vader killed Darth Sidious and died in the struggle, I was born a year later, and gravitated to the Dark side. When I kill Luke, someone else will be born to the Light, but the threat won't be real until they mature.

Hux blinked, processing this. He didn't really like asking Kylo personal questions, but something didn't make sense. "Why did it fall to you to balance the Force? Wasn't Snoke out there? Aren't there other Sith, slithering around in dark corners of the galaxy?"

Kylo smirked. "There is a rule of two. There can be only two Sith, one master, and one apprentice. When one dies, it is either the apprentice killing the master and completing his training, or the master replacing his apprentice. Snoke was no Sith, he was merely an evil creature meant to guide me down the path."

Hux grunted. "You said something about the Rule of Two when we were talking with… your grandfather. So you killed Snoke? Why?" Hux was genuinely curious. Was he fed up? Had his training completed? Was it because he wanted more power?

"He told me I would never be a Sith. That in order to fully embrace the Dark side, I would need to divorce myself from human emotions." His eyes darted to Hux, and held them. "I disagreed, and showed him that it wasn't necessary."

Hux smiled, something he knew Kylo didn't like. His smiles were always insincere, so perhaps this was a type of lying, but Hux liked to think they proved his point effectively. "Turns out I'm better at this than I thought."

"You won't kill me."

"I can't." Hux had no qualms about this. He couldn't kill Kylo, because Kylo was too powerful. Kylo wouldn’t let Hux kill him. But Hux didn’t particularly want to kill him, not really, as he was a particularly powerful and devoted ally. Plus, Kylo would never kill or betray him, and would protect him from people that would.

"Don't be so sure." Kylo returned, reading his thoughts.

"I am."

Kylo's face folded in on itself. "I won’t be used as your bodyguard."

Hux blinked again, unable to shrug or gesture dismissively with Kylo’s continued hold on his limbs. “Then leave. I know you’ll never kill me, and you won’t need to guard my life if you don’t stay near. The benefit for me isn’t in giving you an order, it’s knowing that you’ll do it anyway. I’m not forcing you to stay, or to guard my life, or to resurrect me. Those are all choices you’ll make yourself.”  Hux felt the possessiveness surge tightly inside him in protest, but he crushed it.  Kylo wouldn't leave.

Kylo’s face became downright ugly. “I hate that about you.”

"You should hate a lot more about me."

"I should."

"But you don't. That's why I'm sure."

Kylo spun around, once again concealing his expression. "You're bad for me. You compromise my free will."

"I’m not bad for the path you've chosen, apparently."

Kylo spun back around, and Hux sensed he was about to get dramatic. Hux knew the conversation would end soon.

"But what if I don't want the same thing you do?"

Hux frowned. "What else would you want?"

Kylo covered his face with his hands. "I want to end the Jedi with my own hands! After that... I don't know."

Hux was quiet for a moment, not sure what to add to this. The confession was… unexpected.

"Being the most powerful being in the galaxy doesn't appeal to you? You have no opinion on galactic reform? You have no likes, no hobbies, no opinions, other than killing the Jedi?"

Kylo uncovered his face, still looking angry. “Force training is all I’ve known. I was told not to want, to bend to the will of the Force, when I was trained as a Jedi. As a Sith, I’m allowed to want, and I want-” He stopped himself and closed his eyes, opened them again. “My family betrayed me, and I want to end them, to show them that the power they told me I wasn’t allowed to have is what comes of their deceit.” Kylo shook his head. “But aside from that, I’m not used to wanting anything, no." He blinked at Hux, and Hux braced himself for something embarrassingly sentimental. “You’re all I’ve wanted for myself.”

"So be with me." Hux said this evenly, with no emotion. "Stay by my side. Want what I want."

"You want... you want to be Emperor." Kylo lowered his hands, calming somewhat.

Hux smiled again. "I've always thought I’d be good at it, yes."

"You probably would be good at it."

"And you're the Sith part of the Emperor equation. Does being a two-person Emperor appeal to you?"

Kylo blinked at him, not looking convinced. "Only if that person is you."

"That's how I was picturing it, yes."

"But you... it doesn't have to be me, for you."

"It does."

"No! If it was someone else with my powers, it would be the same to you. It’s not like... it's not the same thing, if you don't love me."

"But there isn’t anyone else with your powers.” Hux sighed, closing his eyes briefly to gather himself for this attempt. “Kylo." It was the first time Hux had spoken his name aloud. "I don't know what you want from me. I've given you everything I have. Is it not enough?" He said this flatly, as a matter-of-fact statement. It was also the truth. It came out sounding more affectionate than Hux had intended, but it didn't make it any less true.

Kylo looked down at him, sadly. "I guess it is."

Hux didn't know if he was talking about if it was enough, or the fact that it was true. It didn't really matter. He repeated himself, because he knew Kylo wanted to hear it, and it was also true. He couldn’t bring himself to soften his face when he said it, because that would be a lie, but he said it, all the same.

“Stay with me.”

Kylo knelt in front of Hux, running his fingers through his hair, looking into his eyes. Hux stared back. Once again, Kylo gripped his jaw, hard enough to force his mouth open, and kissed him, deeply. Hux met Kylo's tongue with his own, leaning forward as much as he could into the kiss, straining against Kylo’s Force bonds, closing his eyes. Their kissing was like a physical fight with their mouths, and Hux had grown to like it as much as the sex. A thrum of anticipation ran through him at the kiss. He could feel an answering wash of feeling from Kylo, coming through now that he was losing concentration and dropping his mental barriers.

_If he learned to like kissing, maybe he can learn to like me too._

_I do like you._

It was true, though the admission was just a fact from Hux, with no real affection behind it. But the truth of it meant a lot to Kylo, resonated between them. Warmth flooded through Kylo, washing back into Hux. The emotional feedback had gotten stronger since Hux had gained Force sensitivity, and he had grown greedy for the pleasant sensation of Kylo's strong emotions spilling into him during sex, as he had never possessed any of his own.

Kylo pushed him backwards, onto the floor. "Your pillow talk is pathetic. Is that supposed to turn me on?"

"Yes. And it does."

Again, a statement of fact from Hux, but Kylo growled, reaching through his tunic and working the fly on Hux's pants and running his tongue along Hux's jaw, licking up sweat, working his way down Hux's neck with firm bites. Hux wasn't bound with the Force any longer, so he used his hands to begin unbuttoning Kylo's uniform jacket.

Shockingly, the sex hadn't lost its appeal after he'd let himself have it.  It was his solution to the problem of wanting it all the time - he thought if he let himself have it, it would become rote.  But it hadn't.  The fighting still did it, and he was finding that even verbal fights were turning him on with the promise of violence.  The swordfight had left him aching for release, and even without being bound, he found he was frantic to get Kylo out of his clothes.  He felt increasingly unlike himself when he was immersed in sex, and he blamed the fact he was wallowing in Kylo's emotions to do it.

They finished at the same time, Kylo breaking contact to pull Hux's pants off, impatiently. Hux obliged him by undoing his own buttons and removing his jacket, leaning up to get it off.

Kylo jerked impatiently again, pushing Hux back down to the floor with a hand on his chest, still with a layer of undershirt fabric, damp from their swordplay, between him and Hux's skin. He reached his hand under the shirt, stuck to Hux with sweat, and Hux did the same thing, sliding his hands between Kylo's damp back and shirt. Kylo bit his ear, and moved down to nip along his collarbone. The kisses were turning both Kylo and Hux on, it didn't really matter who, since Hux would enjoy anything Kylo would. It was much better this way.

Kylo flipped Hux over and yanked his shirt off over his head, pinning Hux’s thighs with his own knees and running his hands along his bare, sweaty back. He gripped Hux's forearms hard, and leaned forward, whispering into Hux's ear.

"Why is it you only ever feel like mine when you're pinned beneath me?"

Hux moaned, Kylo's hot breath in his ear was one of his weaknesses. He was Kylo’s when he was like this, and he hated it, hated that Kylo could do this to him. But he pulled more of Kylo’s attraction and euphoria to himself through the Force, and it was enough for Kylo. Hux could feel the pleasure tinged with desperation as it welled up in response to Hux’s thoughts.  

Hux closed his eyes and pictured the two of them in the austere room, amid discarded clothing, one man pinned below the other.  But not just any men.  Hux was the head of the First Order, the head of the most powerful government and military force in the galaxy.  Pinning him to the floor was one of the most powerful, violent men in existence, someone who could break a mind by laying a hand on them or by splitting it with a sword.  Here in this room, they were just two men undone by lust.  On this mission, they were simpering fools.  In their element, they were invincible.  Hux exhaled, and opened his eyes again, a shiver passing over him.

Kylo leaned off his thighs and flipped him over again, staring at his face, possibly waiting for a real answer, spoken aloud.

"Because this is when it’s true."

Kylo's face crumpled, and Hux could feel sadness, tenderness, love, resignation. "I know it's true! But... you say what I want to hear, what lovers should feel... you don’t feel it. You're only mine because..."

Hux blinked. “You think this isn’t a decision I made? That I don't want this?”

Kylo’s forehead came down on Hux’s sternum. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.”

"Why are you torturing yourself with this?"

"Because I want you. I want all of you, and I want you to give it to me," he mumbled into Hux’s chest.

Hux thought this should be embarrassing for at least one of them. But Kylo wasn’t embarrassed. He blinked again, staring at Kylo’s hair, trying to find the right thing to say.

Then he thought of it. He gave another insincere smile, lost to Kylo, whose face was still pressed into his chest. "You said wanting was part of your Dark Force powers? Does it ever stop?"

Kylo moaned. "No. I don’t think this ever will. I’m not used to it." He ground his pelvis into Hux's. Both were still wearing underwear, and both were hard.

"Does it make you happy that nobody else can do this to me?"

Kylo forced himself into Hux's pelvis again. "But they could! Anyone with enough Force control would... could..." He trailed off, hand going down between them to pull out both their erections and work them together, letting the precome slick both. Hux was very aroused, despite the odd turn of conversation. Kylo was, too.

Hux moaned aloud again at the sensation of Kylo’s hand, the warmth of their erections pressed together. He arched up into the touch, despite himself, trying still to find the right things to say. "No one else would. Do you think there's anyone else would know to use the Force to hurt me until I got off? Do you think there's anyone else like you?"

And there was no pain now, but it still felt good to Hux, and he used the roil of Kylo’s emotions to keep himself riding the wave of arousal. Kylo was also frustrated, and increasingly furious, one of the few times Hux didn’t have a use for the emotion.

Kylo’s hand wasn't enough for either of them, and both were arching their hips frantically into Kylo’s fist. When the frustration built between them, Kylo reared up, straddling Hux's body and shifting up to Hux’s chest. They blinked at each other for a moment, skin slick with sweat, one of Kylo’s hands gripping Hux’s shoulder tightly. Kylo leaned down to put his nose near Hux’s temple, then shifted up, crouching over Hux’s head and propping it up with one hand buried tightly in the hair on the back of his head. Hux had a moment to process what Kylo was about to do before nearly choking as Kylo began rutting into his mouth. Hux had had plenty of opportunities to study oral technique over the past weeks, and after a few moments to get used to the idea, he relaxed his throat and began sucking and tonguing Kylo’s erection. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensation of Kylo yanking his hair, and Kylo began pumping against his throat roughly.

"Careful, Commander General. Telling me that there’s no one else like me sounds very close to admitting you have feelings for me."

Kylo pulled out of Hux's mouth, close to orgasm. Without saying anything, he flipped Hux over and Force-grabbed the lubricant he'd begun keeping in the pocket of his uniform, since their training often ended this way. He impatiently dumped some on his fingers, and forced his hand into Hux, opening, massaging, violating. Getting Hux ready. Hux gasped and clenched against the attention, gritting his teeth against a sharp order to simply do it.

When Hux let a moan escape through his teeth, Kylo smacked his ass hard, then without warning, plunged in.

Both of them usually finished very quickly after Kylo began fucking him properly, but Kylo had recently begun controlling the feeling of arousal between them, dampening it just to the point where his cock softened and Hux began to feel pain, and when that happened, the arousal spiked again. They could usually get through this cycle three or four times before they mutually orgasmed.

Today, Kylo had a great deal of control, and Hux groped greedily for arousal, to have the feeling coursing through him. A stray thought occurred to him, the thought of trying to feel the flow of the Force during sex, the overwhelming way that Kylo showed him when they trained. He thought reaching for it might work this time, since Kylo was touching him. Kylo had ebbed the arousal, so pain was registering vaguely in his awareness. He tried to reach out to the Force, touched it briefly.

The result was immediate and overwhelming. He had no control over it. It flooded his body so that all thought ceased for a time, he couldn’t determine how long. He came back to himself with a snap.

Both he and Kylo jerked from the sensation, gasping aloud. Kylo nearly pulled out. "Don't! Don't... do that, I can't concentrate if you're tapping the Force with no control."

Hux was speechless after the sensation. "How? How do you control such power?"

Kylo gasped, sitting still while he collected his thoughts. He was gathering himself, and gave Hux only an absent, automatic answer. "Same for Sith and Jedi. You use a strong emotion to access it."

Hux grunted in annoyance. After a moment, Kylo began pumping again, and both men were on the verge of orgasm. Kylo dampened the arousal, but Hux could feel Kylo’s control straining, he knew this would be the last time.

Hux wanted to try, still, to tap into the Force, thinking that it might make Kylo angry enough to unmake them again.  He vaguely registered this as an earlier thought to gain more power, but in the moment, it seemed like something that might only enhance the pleasure.

He thought the animal lust between them might not be enough of an emotion to tap and control the Force, since that was the only emotion he was feeling when he touched it a moment ago. He opened his mind wide to Kylo's again, groping around for the strongest emotion he could feel inside Kylo.

It was his love, of course. The love he had for Hux. Sometimes it was the rage, but right now, it was love, after everything Hux had said today.

Hux grabbed it, and brought it to himself, and in that moment, he loved Kylo, loved him deeply and desperately, felt lucky to have him, could not believe that the two of them had found each other, discovered how well they fit together, among the uncounted billions of people in the galaxy. His loved washed back into Kylo, and just when he knew Kylo was about to reach orgasm, he touched the Force again.

Love or rage, it was no different, but neither Kylo nor Hux had the capacity to appreciate the irony as the Force flowed into them, into every molecule of their beings, filling the ship, filling everything, with Hux and Kylo and the Force. The Force separated them, and in that moment Kylo, who loved Hux beyond all reason, beyond the limits of his rational or irrational mind, reached out for Hux, and began remaking them, knowing it was the only way they could be together.

And they snapped back to reality, coming in a kind of blind, thoughtless emptying of their bodies and souls. Kylo emptied himself into Hux, which he didn't often do, but couldn't help this time and he wondered vaguely if Hux would be mad, then nearly laughed aloud because they had ended and began together again, and he would be tired and might not have the powers to stop the crew standing and staring at them from waking up and telling the Resistance that one of the clones was a Force user and he was thinking everything at once and Hux was thinking nothing-

Hux snapped back to himself, collapsing face-down on the floor. He tried to close his mind to Kylo's, and couldn’t. He glanced, weakly, over his shoulder, trying to see around Kylo to the crew, wondering if the sex was his weakness, if it would wind up leading to his death in a way that Kylo couldn't protect him from, because he was drained, thinking that, in this moment, it was worth it.

Kylo collapsed on top of him. The three crewmembers crumpled to the floor behind him.

"You... have enough power to control them still." Hux gasped, not knowing where he found the energy to talk.

"Not... control them, but make them sleep."

"Than you're better than last time."

"Yes." Kylo rolled over, off of Hux, then turned to look at him, reaching up to touch Hux's face, run his fingers through Hux's hair. "It was easier, the second time."

"Easy?"

Kylo laughed, smiling, genuinely. Hux didn't remember seeing the look on his face, which was always the eternal pout of Ben Solo. "It wasn't easy, no. But the first time, it felt like I'd lost my powers, trying to bring us back, like I'd given them away. But this time... I didn't give them away. I just... used what's always there. I wasn't afraid of losing them, and they stayed with me."

Hux closed his eyes. "Good." He rolled over. Kylo pulled his back to his chest, and it was ridiculous, lying here in an undershirt, with his underwear rucked around his thighs, Kylo naked but for underwear behind him, both of them lying in come on the cold floor, with three near-corpses lying behind them.

But Hux knew this was his path. This was good. He reached into Kylo's mind, and grabbed the love again, and fell asleep comforting himself with it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No significant warnings this time. I promise I'll make up for it with the next chapter.
> 
> Which won't take four months this time. Also, this story celebrated a year anniversary a few days ago. I'm hoping to wrap it up soon! It may be one chapter shorter than I forecasted, and the final chapter and epilogue will be posted together. So, I'm anticipating three more updates.

A standard week later, Hux decided he could not stomach another false tour, testimonial, and training session at a Resistance base.  Nor could he tolerate any more of Kylo's training, which wasn't going anywhere useful.  As much as they both ultimately enjoyed it, it was sidetracking Hux from the goal of this mission and his return to the First Order.  It was an indulgence.  They had so much information now, and he needed to end this and return home, droids or no.

They had the crew of the ship report a brush with a patrol they believed led by Darth Caedus, and Resistance command ordered them to halt their mission. They landed on the surface of a planet named Mensallia, in yet another system that Hux was unfamiliar with. Kylo claimed this was an administrative center for the Resistance, with a small force to guard it - the pilot had been there before. The base was nestled in a valley among rolling farmland. Hux couldn’t spot a city, and the weather seemed cool and moderate, if somewhat grey. The air was clean, and there were no stinging dust storms or the hum of atmospheric equipment. As they landed, Hux noticed a complex of bunkers, but it appeared that most of the base was underground.

Its placement, in the shallow valleys of this apparently pastoral world, or at least this rural section of it, puzzled Hux. It wasn’t all that concealed. The complex was obviously unlike the farm buildings that he spotted from the shuttle ride in - the farmers constructed their buildings with dark wood and bright red brick, and they were small. The bunker complex was made from poured grey duracrete that had obviously come from off-world. They'd flown over a lot of the surface without spotting any sign of a city or infrastructure, which was an indicator of a mostly uncolonized agrarian outpost. If First Order intelligence had even a whiff of traffic on and off world, they likely would have spotted this target immediately. Why so open? Were they really so confident with their concealment strategies? Hux supposed they hadn’t been spotted yet. He wondered how long the base had been here.

Kylo was back in his clone Hux disguise, and Hux was back to loathing the unsettling sullen mirror of his own face. None of the crew of the cargo ship were aware of what had happened to them, nor did they appear to be any worse for wear after having their minds manipulated so extensively. Kylo was indeed much better at this than he had been before he finished his training. This farce of a mission was drawing out far longer than Hux had intended, but Kylo was a powerful ally. Hux was eager to get back to the Order and make better use of him. He wanted to move forward with his new knowledge and his own ideas for the direction of the Order, especially knowing that he was now, apparently, free from oversight.

Hux still didn’t understand why Kylo had failed to mention _that._ Droid or no, even with Kylo's stated desire to end the Jedi, once Hux had finalized everything he wanted to move forward with, they would leave. He knew enough to end the Resistance, and with Kylo and… his own new insight into the thoughts of others, they wouldn’t even need a large military force to sway planets. He could just tell them whatever they wanted to hear. Failing that, it was a simple matter for Kylo to make them think joining the First Order was their idea.  The Jedi would come, or they wouldn't.  Was Kylo's balance really necessary?

He kept that to himself.

Hux and Kylo were questioned extensively about their trip, first together, then separately. They had been reporting their progress as they moved around the various Resistance outposts, and Hux assumed the personnel there were also reporting on them. From what Hux could tell from their interrogators, they still didn’t have any reason to suspect either Hux or Kylo of persisting First Order ties. Though he still didn’t trust himself to open his mind to read the thoughts of others without taking in too much, and Kylo discouraged it as well through their more private connection.

They were obviously more interested in their “encounter” with the First Order patrol. They were mostly questioned separately about this, presumably by high-ranking Officers, but it was nobody Hux recognized. Kylo verified, through what he claimed was a more accurate read of their thoughts, they mostly seemed to trust the fact the clones were telling the truth about defecting. That made everything else easier, including what would likely be their final exit from this very base. It seemed unlikely that they’d be sent elsewhere again.

At the conclusion of their interrogation, Hux offered to drill new recruits in Stormtrooper techniques. It was something he could do without much artifice - he had designed most of the First Order Troop training himself, long ago improving on his father’s program. He could also do it poorly and inaccurately. The impulse behind the offer, however, was to avoid being assigned the menial tasks of standard personnel. This was something Hux absolutely refused to do, even for intelligence. They had so much now that they could simply leave, more would not be worth scrubbing toilets or doing the laundry of the Resistance. Kylo was very amused when he picked up on Hux’s motivations, and Hux could have killed him when he ducked his head to hide the smirk in front of the Officers.

After taking a day to confer, the leadership seemed pleased by the offer, so Hux and Kylo passed a week in training, learning the routines of the base, before assuming their posts as instructors to the small number of elite soldiers stationed there.  Indeed, this base was very small, and mostly seemed like the equivalent of a command center.  Hux thought it was a smart idea, to keep the head separated from the body of the force, but he preferred to be closer himself.

This base was otherwise very like the others. Kylo and Hux were given bunks in a large soldier’s quarters with many others, much to Kylo’s chagrin. The curiosity from the others on the base about their identical appearance faded within days as their story spread. Few of the soldiers they interacted with regularly seemed to recognize Hux anyway, so they merely looked like twins.

Kylo seemed even more restless and sullen as they settled into their new routine, likely sensing from Hux that this was to be the last stop for them on the mission.  His rapid switches between dark brooding and casual intimacy annoyed Hux. The latter was problematic when the soldiers didn’t realize that they were supposed to be clones. Hux made more of a point to talk about that when Kylo failed to keep his hands to himself. Hux continued to lay out his plans for the First Order, mostly blocking out Kylo’s annoying entreaties. Kylo took to meditating by himself when Hux refused to interact with him, and so they passed the time at arm’s length, which suited Hux.

They were coming back after a day-long training session, walking silently down the hallway in matching one-piece work uniforms, looking identical. It still bothered Hux to look over and see himself exactly, and he was even more aware of it when Kylo was in an introspective mood and not bothering him. But he pushed the thought down, not wanting to draw Kylo into yet another debate about it.

As Hux decided to return once again to his First Order strategies, Kylo interrupted him - not with an intrusive mental comment, as per usual. But by bodily pulling him into a recessed doorway, pushing his back against the closed door, and kissing him hard enough to steal Hux’s breath.

He was shocked to inactivity for a moment, as Kylo hadn’t been this bold since they’d left the freighter. But only for a moment, and he immediately began struggling and trying invective both verbal and mental. Infuriatingly, Kylo responded by Force-freezing him in place.

_Stop. The droid is coming._

As he said it, Hux heard the whirring sound of a droid approaching, and relaxed against Kylo’s ministrations, still confused, but mollified slightly by what could be a valid reason. As he relaxed, he felt Kylo’s Force hold on him give way, so he wrapped his arms around Kylo’s neck and tried to make the kiss look more convincing, while leaving his eyes open and taking in the hallway over his shoulder. He also pushed himself into Kylo’s thoughts, trying to understand and hoping that there was a good reason this was the tactic Kylo chose.

Kylo was panicking somewhat, taken off-guard by the droid’s appearance and trying to calm himself down. He was listening for the group to walk down the hallway and pass.

Hux could hear someone walking with the droid, talking to it indistinctly, voice mostly drowned out by the loud whine of its motors. As he watched, a bright gold protocol droid, one of the oldest models Hux had ever seen, shambled into his view with an escort, an older man dressed like neither a soldier nor an officer, slicked gray hair and sharp suit out of place on the base. As Hux watched, the droid abruptly stopped in the doorway and looked in.

"Oh, my! How indecent! And in the middle of the hallway!"

Being addressed in such a way by an ancient droid was enough to make Hux want to pull away, but Kylo pulled him tighter and once again froze him in place.

Annoyed, and with nothing else to do, Hux watched as the man walking with the droid pulled on its arm, somewhat embarrassed.

"Threepio, come on, leave them alone."

"Wait-no! That man is General Hux of the First Order! You'll need to alert the guards!"

The droid was getting increasingly loud and more panicked, which was alarming Hux in turn. Kylo continued to hold him in place with the Force and take liberties with his body in the meantime. His mouth was moving a little too convincingly on Hux’s own, and Hux’s mouth had been frozen open, Kylo’s tongue entering and having its way. His hands slid from his shoulders down to his waist and squeezed, and he hunched over, further into the alcove and against Hux.

The man was tugging on the droid, trying to pull it further down the hallway and alter its position, which was turned to face Hux and Kylo. "No, those are the clones of the General that just arrived. You heard about them, right?"

"But-"

"Threepio, leave them alone. They, ah... come on." The man was obviously embarrassed by the kiss between Hux and Kylo. Kylo pulled his mouth away and exhaled against Hux’s lips, then laid his head against Hux's shoulder so Hux could have a full view of the droid, the embarrassed officer, and two junior officers in pale blue uniforms that he hadn’t noticed before. He closed his mouth of his own volition, and it took him a moment to decide how to react to the group watching them. The older man was now more urgently yanking the droid away, but the two junior officers were staring with unconcealed curiosity at Hux and Kylo.

Hux remembered to look embarrassed. "I- uh, sorry. Sorry for that. I guess we got a little carried away. Sometimes... sometimes that happens when I train." Kylo snorted against his shoulder, and rage bubbled up through him. His leg twitched against Kylo’s Force hold, though he likely would have stopped himself before actually kneeing Kylo and ruining the show.

The junior officers, one man and one woman, blinked. The woman shook her head. "No, that's... that's fine. Not very professional to do it in the hallway."

Hux ducked his head and looked even more sheepish. “Sorry. We don’t. It was just… the training. And I thought we’d be quick enough to not be noticed.”

The man squinted, clearly wanting to ask something. Hux watched him through his eyelashes, head still bowed, and braced himself.

The man opened his mouth, closed it, licked his lips, then came out with it. "Can clones tell the difference between one another?"

"Yes, of course." Kylo answered quickly, pulling away from Hux, but only glancing over his shoulder, keeping his back to them. His face was blank as he stared at the wall next to Hux’s head, and Hux mentally nudged him, telling him to look more embarrassed, and to turn around and face them. For some reason, Hux could sense a stubborn refusal to turn around. He also wondered if Kylo was telling the truth. Did Kylo know if clones could tell the difference between one another, or if they even cared to?

 _Of course they do! They’re still human. Only you would wonder if they cared enough to tell each other apart._  Kylo replied, incredulously.

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course." The female junior officer said, blushing slightly and looking from one to the other. "It's... hard to imagine... so you don't... see yourself, in each other?"

Hux had a hard time not reacting to the woman's complete lack of tact, nor to blurt out the truth, that he hated making out with Kylo while Kylo looked like him. Kylo answered again, still not turning around.

"No, RE-04 looks different than RE-03 or RE-05. We're all as different as anyone else."

The female officer, at an angle to see both their faces, looked from Kylo to Hux and back again, greedily looking for the differences. The male junior officer was more forward.

"You look completely alike! What's different about RE-04 and yourself, then?"

Kylo turned to stared at the man for a moment, then looked over at Hux. "RE-04 was always the peacemaker in our unit, whenever any of us got into fights, and he was always trying to stand up for us with the commanders. To me, he has the most honest, open face of the unit."

Hux looked down at the ground, blanking his mind to ignore Kylo’s statement entirely.

"Oh... okay." The female officer said, sounding dissatisfied. "What about you? What's different about him to you?"

Hux continued to look at the ground. He could act this role, but ultimately he wasn't a very good liar, and couldn't think of anything very convincing on the spot, so he told the truth, and then spun his story from that. "RE-11 is the strongest of us. Completely ruthless when we train. I feel safer when he's around."

Both junior officers looked disappointed. The older man, standing further down the hallway, made a show of smiling at them. "That's very nice. I'm glad you feel at home here on Mensallia. Let us know if you need anything. I'm Captain Tolra, and this is Lieutenant Ket and Lieutenant Unforia." The man and woman saluted the older man before turning back to stare at Hux and Kylo. Kylo kept his back to Tolra, which Hux thought was unforgivably rude, though none of the officers seemed to notice or care.

Tolra turned toward the gold protocol droid. “And this -”

“I am C3PO, human-cyborg relations. But I fail to understand, Captain Tolra. You mention that these two are clones-”

Kylo cut the droid off. “I’m RE-11. This is RE-04.”

Kylo crossed his arms and kept his back to the droid and the Captain. The silence following Kylo’s obvious statement grew awkward, and Hux didn’t bother to fill it in himself, hoping for the group to leave.

Tolra nodded. “We were just taking Threepio for a walk. He’s an older model.”

“I am perfectly capable of walking myself, Captain Tolra.”

“Of course, Threepio.” He turned back to Hux. “As I said, let us know if you need any help getting settled in. A pleasure.”

Tolra turned and walked off, one arm on the droid, who shuffled after him. The Lieutenants lingered a moment longer.

“Keep that sort of thing in private from now on, all right?” The female Lieutenant, Unforia, added, before turning to follow Tolra. Ket followed her with only one more curious glance.

“Of course, Lieutenant. Thank you for the pleasure.” Hux saluted, then dropped his hands back to his side, watching the group continue down the hall.

When they turned the corner, Hux grabbed Kylo by the sleeve and continued down the hallway, holding a silent conversation to confirm his suspicions.

_The gold protocol droid is the one we're looking for?_

_Yes, that’s C-3PO._

_Was that flagrant show in the middle of the hallway necessary? Did we really need to draw that attention to ourselves?_

_The Force disguise doesn’t work well on droids. It wouldn't have fooled his visual scan._

_So? They wouldn’t have believed it actually saw me in the middle of the base. The same thing would have happened, except the conversation would have been shorter._

_No. Threepio knows me. He would have recognized me as Ben Solo and said something to me. There wouldn’t have been anything I could do about that._

Hux understood, and thought that had been quick thinking on Kylo’s part, though he refused to say so out loud. Kylo picked up on it anyway, and Hux felt his smug sense of pride, annoyed.

_Do you have a sad past with the astromech droid as well?_

_If you’re asking if he’d recognize me too, then yes, he would._

Hux sighed and dropped his hand from Kylo’s arm, still staring straight ahead as they approached the troop quarters. _Does it only communicate in binary?_

_Yes, but there were always a lot of people around who understood him, so if he’s still around that’s probably still true. He’d say something, and they’d take R2D2 more seriously than Threepio._

_Right, because this is a place where an ancient navigational droid is more trustworthy than an ancient translation droid. Noted. Do you think the astromech droid is here_?

Hux could feel Kylo weighing the possibilities, and went in deeper to spy on his thoughts.

R2isn'toftenseparatedfromthreepiobuthe'susuallywithLukesomaybehe'swithLukemaybeLuke'shere-

Hux latched onto the thought about Luke Skywalker. That seemed more important than anything about the droids. _Wouldn't you be able to tell if Skywalker was here?_

Kylo thought a moment more before answering, mind still obviously turning the problem over in agitation. _I don't know. I can't look for him, I don't know if he'd be able to tell I was scanning for him._

_Are there a lot of Force-sensitive individuals here?_

_From what I can sense, yes, though nobody as powerful as me._

Hux frowned. _Can they sense me if I can’t sense them?_

He felt Kylo’s fondness for him. _I can keep you hidden from everyone else without a problem as long as you keep your mind barred from the thoughts of others, as we trained for._

So Hux couldn’t push at others like he’d been hoping. Annoying, that Kylo hadn’t thought to tell him that before.

_You haven’t been doing it, except for the moment in interrogation. I would have said something if you’d tried on the base._

_Right._  He thought through any other issues that might arise from Force-sensitive individuals. He didn’t know much about it himself. Supposedly anything with significant Force sensitivity had been purged from the galaxy decades ago, and he had what was likely one of the only experts on the topic standing next to him, more effective than any screening process.  Allegedly. _Do we have to worry about getting scanned, or a midiclorian count or anything like that?_  He wondered if Kylo had any other insight about how to identify individuals, or how the Resistance might do it.

He could feel a push of confidence from Kylo. _We don’t have to worry about it. I can sense other people before they can try anything, and I can dissuade them if there is some sort of testing like the Jedi used to have. Because we’ve been with the Resistance so long, and have already been vetted at another major base, I think they trust us._

Hux made a mental note to institute regular loyalty tests again when he returned to the First Order. This was foolish indeed. _What do we do if we are tested for it?_  He wasn’t willing to believe in their good luck as much as Kylo seemed to.

Kylo paused. Hux didn't push.

_Fine._

***

They began walking around the base separately, hoping to spot C-3PO and learn its usual patterns. Hux reminded Kylo again and again to be diligent about being spotted by the droid, though Kylo was correct in that it was not difficult to see and avoid the droid whenever it appeared. Everything about it was an affront to Hux’s senses. Hux found it increasingly unpleasant the more he watched it.

When they were sure where and when it would be by itself, Hux decided to speak to it, to determine how difficult it would be to lead it away for capture.

The spot where he was hoping to catch the droid was reasonably isolated. Hux didn't, strictly speaking, have a reason to be in this area of the base, but the droid entered and exited this area often, usually at this time of day, and Hux was hoping to cross its path. He heard the whirring from around a corner and knew he had been successful.

He made a show of rounding the corner in a hurry and nearly colliding with the droid. He took a few steps back, stammering an apology and waving his hands.

"Sorry! I was in too much of a hurry... I really should slow down..." He clasped his hands in front of him and dipped his head, hoping he looked pathetic enough to the droid, wondering if this droid could register the nuances of human expression. Kylo had said this one was a protocol droid who had served two senates, so perhaps it could.

“Oh! You are RE-04, the clone of Commander General Hux. What are you doing in this area?" The droid made wide gestures with its arms that Hux found extremely unnecessary.

"I was hoping to ask Lieutenant Unforia about something... I thought she might be in her quarters."

"Lieutenant Unforia? No, I'm afraid not. This time of day, she would be in the offices in the west quarter of the base. Do you need direction there?"

"No, that's fine," Hux answered hurriedly, still looking at the droid’s feet. "It was something... simple anyway. Something she had told me about... it can wait until the next time I see her." Hux looked up shyly. "Thanks for the help, though... uh..."

The droid stared at him until Hux waved his hand to indicate he didn't know what to call the droid.

"Oh! I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. A pleasure to meet you again, RE-04.” It paused. “If you don’t mind my saying so, it has been some time since I have seen a clone. My visual sensors tell me you are very like Commander General Hux.”

Hux didn’t know what to say to this inane statement. “That’s what they tell me. I’ve never met him.”

“Odd. You were just a regular Stormtrooper for the First Order?”

“Yes. Not anymore.”

“Of course.” The droid paused again. “Is the matter you wished to discuss with Officer Unforia something I may help you with?"

"Well... I'm not sure. What do you do on the base?"

"Oh! I'm afraid they haven't much use for me lately. I find use sometimes as a translator, as I am fluent in over six million forms of communication. I used to service the droids and equipment more frequently, but the technology has gotten so much better, they don't need me to interface with the machines or repair them nearly as frequently. The Princess tells me I am lucky, and that's my primary function."

"Lucky?" Hux couldn't keep the incredulity out of his voice, and tried to hide it it by pushing his hair off his brow. Then he thought to add, "Princess?"

"Princess Leia, of course! Certainly even a clone has heard of her?"

"Princess Leia? Yes... I think I heard her mentioned at the other base. She's the leader of the Resistance?"

"Princess Leia has been the head of the Rebel Alliance and the Rebellion for over thirty years! Doesn't the First Order know about her?" The droid sounded a little overwrought, and the volume of its voice was increasing. Hux had to turn this conversation in a less stupid direction before someone overheard them and found him in the restricted area.

"They don't really tell us anything except how to fight and fix things."

"Certainly you know what you are fighting for and against?"

"Until recently, no. I didn't want to fight after I saw... the members of my unit getting killed..." Hux trailed off and looked down.

"You hadn't seen anyone die? Oh, I can't recall how many deaths I've seen over the years-" Hux heard a whirring noise, and the droid spoke up again. "Wait, yes, I have a count. Excluding the starfighter battles, I've personally witnessed the deaths of 27,563 sentient biological entities. The most would have been-"

At this, C-3PO began a long story that Hux only half-listened to, as it was a fairly famous Rebellion battle, and there was something inherently aggravating about the droid. He tried to reach out to Kylo, but was having trouble finding him, partially because the droid was giving a lot of gory details that were distracting Hux, and partially because Hux had been more cautious about making their connection himself after Kylo had told him of the other Force sensitive individuals at the base.

"-we wound up having to walk out of the cave across the Kowakkian corpses! Can you imagine?"

Having avoided combat personally, Hux could not. But this was a droid after Hux's own heart. He needed a more natural response, though. "That… sounds like quite the battle. How do you keep going, after something like that?"

The droid whirred. "It's always sad when a friend dies."

This sounded fake to Hux's ears. Someone had probably chided it for being insensitive. Hux could understand.

"Yes... it was hard when I saw that fight and those deaths myself. Maybe I'll be like you some day, battle-seasoned... but I worry about being desensitized, and I sometimes wonder how long it takes before I… can stop thinking about what I saw.” Hux paused for effect. “How long... did it take you to see all those deaths?"

"75 standard years."

"Oh, wow! You don't look that old!" Hux hoped he sounded impressed, wondered if the droid was programmed with a sense of vanity.

"Thank you, RE-04. I have been rebuilt many times over the years. Recently, I got this red arm..."

Hux stopped paying attention when the droid started telling another inane story, hoping he was reacting to the right details. He reached out for Kylo hesitantly again, was able to weakly brush his mind and get Kylo to reciprocate.

_I found our target. I'm talking to it now._

_Does he like you?_  Kylo sounded amused.

_Is there anyone it doesn't like?_

_If he likes you, there probably isn’t._

Hux frowned. _I’m convincing when I have to be._

_Oh, very._

As the droid continued on with the story of how it lost an arm, Hux began to grow impatient, shifting nervously from foot to foot and glancing around the still-deserted restricted area of the base.

_Is it always this annoying?_

_Yes. He was programmed to guide interaction between different speakers and cultures, but his programming's gone haywire over the years. He's bad at taking social cues now. Or, at least he was getting worse when I was a kid. Judging by the incident in the hallway, he's probably still on the decline_.

_What should I do? How do I make friends with a droid? Can I get it to stop talking?_

Kylo paused, and Hux could vaguely sense him going over memories of the golden droid. _Make him feel useful. Have him do something for you. He'll like that._

At some point, C-3PO had stopped talking, and was staring at Hux. Hux came back to himself and looked down at the ground, clasping his hands behind his back. He groped for something to say, tried to pull a solid detail from the story to comment on. He couldn’t. He hadn’t been paying enough attention. He hoped the droid wouldn’t notice.

"That's really quite a story. Not something you hear every day."

"Oh, yes! I don't often meet people that appreciate what I go through to help the Resistance!" Its shrillness and hand gestures were getting worse. Hux had never seen a droid programmed with a personality this distinct before, and it was grating on him.

"Hey... I was wondering, you mentioned that the offices were on the west side of the base. Can you take me there? Maybe give me a little tour along the way? I've really only seen my quarters, the mess hall, and the exercise yards here. I don’t want to ask for a tour and make a nuisance of myself, but it would be nice to have someone to show me around."

"I would love to, Master RE-04! Please, follow me!" The droid sounded delighted, gesturing widely, his whirring starting up again as he strode stiffly forward.

The droid was very slow. And chatty. Hux cursed Kylo repeatedly for the entire mission when they reached the offices 45 minutes later, noticed by what felt like every person stationed at the base. None of them bothered to interrupt the annoying droid and save Hux from his own bad decision.

Claiming he couldn't remember what he wanted in the first place, Hux begged (desperately) the droid's apologies and parted company with him, meeting Kylo in the cafeteria. The two smiled and shook hands for appearances when they met, collected their food, and sat down silently to eat it, conversing mentally.

_What do you think?_

_Why has your family kept that droid around for 75 years?_

_My grandfather built it._

Hux choked, prompting Kylo to pound him on the back and the two of them to do a song-and-dance of apologies and wellness checks. Annoying.

_Is everyone in your family hung up on Anakin Skywalker? Do you all keep little shrines to him in your bedrooms? Or is that just you?_

Kylo obviously thought Hux didn't know about that, and he sulked in silence for a moment. Hux continued.

 _Well, at any rate, I feel better and better about torturing him as we did. The problem with his droid, though, is how to get it out of here. It’s loud and chrome gold. It won’t be easy_.

_What did you have in mind?_

_A problem. Neither of us can leave with it without raising suspicion. We also can't use the communications at the base to radio the First Order. Communications on the whole planet are likely monitored, if there's anyone else here at all._

Kylo thought this over.

_You're right about that. There aren't any other settlements nearby. I’ve been asking about the planet, it’s fairly isolated._

_Then we'll have to wait until we find the other droid, and escape with them both at once. Or we can just escape with only this droid. How essential is the other one? You mentioned this one would know where it was._

_The other one is Luke Skywalker's personal R2 unit. He will have data on anywhere he’s been recently and in the last seventy years, the details of fleet sizes, what kind of equipment they have, and schematics for every base he’s been to.  Threepio will be able to tell us where Artoo is if he's been told, but he'll only have verbal records.  Artoo will have technical specs, and details.  He'll know where to find Luke.  He's essential._

Hux thought this over.

_What other use is there for the protocol droid, then?_

Kylo was silent for a moment. _My mother used to keep him close. He will remember conversations he’s had, and overheard. Probably several decade’s worth._

Hux clenched his jaw. That almost wasn't worth lifting the annoying droid.

_How willing will it be to tell us that information?_

Kylo was annoyed. _He won’t tell us. But we should be able to extract his memories._

 _That was a trick question. It told me quite a great deal that I wouldn’t want it revealing to a casual visitor._  He was quiet a moment. _Is there still value in that information? Wouldn’t the astromech droid have everything else we need on the Resistance, after our extensive reconnaissance? And is it worth tracking that droid down, now that we can leave with the other? You and I know the locations of what I assume is most of the bases, and have seen much of their ground and air forces. That should be enough for this mission. It’s been long enough, and we can easily crush the Resistance with this knowledge._

Hux could feel petulance and resistance from Kylo. Kylo could sense that Hux was trying to move him away from his goal. _If we find R2-D2, we find Luke Skywalker, and I can kill him._

_Yes, but you already said the protocol droid would know where he was._

_I said he would know if he was told.  I want to be positive._

Hux rolled his eyes, continuing to eat. _Even if it doesn't, there are other ways to lure Skywalker out. We can do a concentrated strike on the Resistance, and send out a galaxy-wide warning that, unless Luke Skywalker comes, we'll execute every person on this base. We have a lot of options for this, and sneaking around and acting like oblivious allies isn’t the most efficient strategy._

Kylo was angry, putting his fork down and glaring at Hux, knowing it would annoy him. _Don't get impatient. The original plan was to recover both droids, and kill Luke Skywalker._

Hux was angry right back, and began shoveling food into his mouth faster. _Don't get greedy. The original plan didn't involve Luke Skywalker, not as you told it to me. If Luke Skywalker perceives us as a threat, he will come out to fight you. If he does not, then he will grow old and die without doing so. He's been in hiding for almost 20 years. There's no reason he should be a top priority right now._

Kylo was silent. Hux could feel him fuming, railing against this logic.

_I can contact the First Order._

Hux paused with his fork partway to his mouth, surprised enough to break the act and gape at Kylo. _What?_

_I can use the Order’s holocommunications equipment from here, the same way Snoke could. That was a Force connection, not done with standard equipment. We can deactivate C-3PO and take him someplace on the planet's surface that we arrange in advance. We can have an unmarked First Order ship pick him up. A single-person transport coming and going on a random part of the planet shouldn't raise an alarm. Then we'll stay here and wait for the other droid, and leave once our objectives are complete._

_Wait, we- what are you talking about? You can contact the First Order from here? Undetected? Aren't there Force users on this base? And your mother?_

Kylo tightened at the mention of his mother. _She's here?_

 _The droid mentioned her, but… how do you not know? Shouldn't you be scanning for threats like that?_  He remembered his reluctance to consult Kylo mentally as he spoke to the droid. _Can she hear it when we talk to each other across the base?_

 _She- no, no. She can't hear that. We're... bonded too closely, I don't think anyone can eavesdrop on or detect our conversations_.

But he didn’t sound sure. His hesitation was making Hux more certain that they should leave, finish the mission right now. _And they'd be ignorant of you reaching across half the galaxy to communicate with the First Order? If you do that, and there are other Force users here that may detect it, why don’t we just leave with the droid once you do?_

_That's... they might sense me if I contact the First Order, yes. Luke would pick up on it, and Rey. My mother might not, and none of the people whose minds I've touched here could do it. But I’d sense if they found me. We can stay longer._

Hux laid his fork down, nearly apoplectic at what Kylo was telling him. _Are Skywalker and Rey here?_

Kylo smiled with Hux’s face. _If they are, this is a good way to find out._

Of course he didn’t know for sure. Hux made a disgusted noise and looked back down to finish his meal. _That will get us both killed. Why wouldn’t we just be safe?_

_No. It might get you killed. But I can bring you back. We don’t have to be safe. You remember. You know._

Hux had to stifle a groan. _I'd rather not die at the hands of the Resistance and test your powers of resurrection._

_Think about how much more you'll be feared if you're suddenly alive again. Especially if they think you died on Starkiller Base. They’ll think it’s something you can do at any time._

Hux thought this over, trying to think of a way to explain to Kylo that dying wasn’t a viable strategy. _Fear won’t be that useful as a tool against the Resistance. Not in this case. Nobody who doesn’t see me dying and you bringing me back to life would believe in such outlandish magic, even those who believe in the Force. And I can’t use fear against the few who do witness it, because if we’re in a situation where they’ve overpowered me and you bring me back to life, we’re likely still outnumbered and overpowered. Fear just doesn’t serve every purpose. I know Snoke believed in its absolute power, and you likely do too. He was wrong about it. It's one of the reasons Snoke wasn't the best leader._

Kylo was silent for several moments, digesting that information and processing it in his own way. Hux could feel low-level affection and admiration from him, which he didn’t really want. He tried to mentally nudge Kylo to continue his meal and stop staring, but Kylo pointedly ignored him.

Eventually, he asked _What do you use to control others, Commander General?_

_Well-trained individuals with confidence. People who can do their jobs expertly and believe in our cause, and know when an order is good and why they are following it. It's one of the reasons your screenings were so important._

_So you trust people._

_Yes._

_How unusually noble. Or naive._

_People who fear you are unpredictable. If a situation happens, they will let it, or they will defect. If you have people who are proud of the work they do, they will stop a situation, or go down trying._

Kylo worked this over in his mind. Hux was right, except-

_You're planning on using me to scare governments into joining the Order._

_You can't trust everyone. If you can build up a governing body of like-minded people, you can use that to monitor the rest._

_So fear does work._

_There's some merit in it, yes, but not among those who are serving you directly. There's no reason they should be scared._

_I see why Snoke liked you so much._

_Well, it's nice to know I was appreciated. But we're getting sidetracked. So you can allegedly contact the First Order-_

_Not_ allegedly _, I_ can _contact the First Order-_

Hux increased the strength of his mental voice. _-And tell them to pick up the droid. And either this brings the wrath of the Jedi down on us, or it doesn't. What happens if we do this undetected, if you are so unwilling to leave with the droid?_

_Then we wait at the base for Luke Skywalker to show up with R2-D2._

_How long do we wait, Kylo?_

Kylo didn’t answer. Hux sighed, finishing his last bite and laying down his fork. Kylo was still staring with his arms crossed, and Hux was tired of the charade. He wanted to leave. He leaned back, crossed his arms, and stared right back, not caring what the other personnel thought.

_What if we find R2-D2 before Luke Skywalker?_

_Then we continue to wait for Luke._

Hux was exasperated, and was on the edge of telling Kylo to continue the mission without him, to just wipe the memory of him from the base. Kylo jumped back in with more logic Hux could appreciate.

_Look, if we find the droid before Luke… that droid will know where he is, so we can leave with it, and I’ll go after Luke myself._

_What if the other droid knows where he is? Will you order a strike against the base?_

Kylo was silent, sullen. _Yes, I'll tell them if C-3PO knows where Luke is, to make an attack on this base._

 _Tell them to strip that droid's mind once they're done. I want him making my tea from now on. Silently_.

Kylo stifled a laugh. _You don't have to strip his mind for that, he'll just do it. Are you sure you want a droid doing that? That one isn’t very good at it_.

_Tasted his cooking, have you?_

_Yeah, like that was ever a good idea._  Kylo turned bitter, probably at some memory Hux didn't want to hear about.

_And tell them to erase the minds of all the First Order droids every 6 months and send them to new locations with only their protocols loaded. Fuck's sake, I don't want this happening to us accidentally._

_It is an oversight, isn't it?_

_I hate those._

_So what about the plan?_

Hux thought it over. Realized he was going to need time with it.

_Give me a day to think it over._

Kylo didn’t seem like he was going to budge from the goal of Luke Skywalker, but Hux hated tacitly agreeing to something Kylo had devised without working out all possible contingencies. Silently, they rose and retired to the trooper quarters.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, at least it was only three months instead of four. ;_; This one is a cliffhanger, so I will try not to be as cruel this time. You guys are so kind for sticking with me for so long. I will finish!
> 
> No particular warnings this time, the more violent parts got pushed back to the next chapter. I did wind up shortening things, so yes, two more updates after this, the last chapter will be posted with the epilogue.

It felt needlessly complicated when Hux developed and implemented his plan to steal Threepio. Subtlety was not Kylo’s strong suit - he wanted to just lure Threepio off the base, deactivate him, and have him picked up. It was how Kylo always did things. But Hux needed so many details, and went over worst case scenarios over and over again. He wanted to know if Threepio was tracked (Kylo didn’t think so - Threepio didn’t have anything to hide, and who would steal him?), what people would say when he went missing and they were the last ones to see him, why had they been talking to him in the first place, and just about every other thing that could conceivably happen. For someone who constantly complained about how long this mission was taking, it seemed unreasonable to want to spend days on something so simple.

These things weren't important. Kylo could easily avoid such questions. Hux’s plan seemed harder to him, and took a lot longer.

Hux feigned an interest in mechanics, and eventually had some of the personnel train him in maintaining the landspeeders that were used for patrols and leisure. He questioned the staff relentlessly about these - what their components were, what they could do, and whether they could be tracked. He eventually took the one in the worst condition, restored it, and began riding it around on short overland runs to test its operation, and afterwards, would sabotage it just enough to keep it in the maintenance bays and provide an excuse to continue working on it.

After Hux decided this had gone on long enough for their purposes, he tracked Threepio down and begged him to run diagnostics on the speeder, saying that none of the droids in the bay were giving him the results he was expecting.

Kylo waited in the bay for Hux to bring the droid back. It was late in the shift, and he'd made sure that any stray mechanics that were interested in after-hours repairs had thought of something more pressing to do. The bay was dimly lit with just the blue emergency lights, surprisingly cold, and he was already cursing the fact he’d only worn his baggy one-piece work jumper instead of something warmer. He was going to have to go out into the night, and it was even colder there.

He sat inside the speeder, head in his hands, not at all sure he was ready for this. He desperately wanted to be. He wanted it to be nothing at all. Threepio was just a droid, after all, and they needed it. This was what Hux wanted. Threepio would help him find Artoo, and Luke.

But.

He clung to his Hux disguise with a fierceness and determination that he hadn’t felt in weeks. Everything had been coming so easily to him lately, but this he could do nothing about. A manipulation that was less than a thought for others would be impossible here, and it felt unfair.

It would be a test. If he could withstand what would likely be genuine joy at his re-appearance from the droid, and still deactivate him and send him away to meet his end at the hands of the First Order, then he knew he could do the rest of it, too. He’d be ready for Luke, and he’d be willing to fight and defeat his mother later. Threepio was a good test. His father prepared him for what this would be like, and Threepio would help get him used to the idea again.

He heard them coming, the echo of Hux’s footsteps and the loud whining of Threepio’s joints amplified by the high ceilings of the hanger. He decided to get out and lean nonchalantly against the side of the speeder. Until just before they rounded the corner. Then he darted to the opposite side and crouched down, pretending to study one of the maintenance panels that would be out of Threepio’s immediate line of sight.

“-would be most helpful if you could _tell_  them about the droids in the repair bay, Master RE-04. I’ve told them about that LE unit _I don’t know_  how many times, but they clearly don’t listen to _me_. It is disrespectful, and full of the worst ideas. If that’s the one that refuses to diagnose your speeder, Master-”

“Must you hide from us? I don’t understand why you’re so afraid of a droid.”

Hux had sensed his trepidation, of course, and cut Threepio off mid-sentence. Somehow, this made Threepio stop talking. Kylo crouched in silence, trying to come up with a good excuse for Hux, feeling the silence grow more awkward as he waited.

His distress increased, and of course Hux had to dig in again. “Stand up. Stop being ridiculous.”

“Is that the other clone?”

“He’s being unreasonable,” Hux snapped to the droid in return.

“Oh! Master RE-11! I haven’t seen you at all since our introduction. I had no idea you were frightened of me. There’s no need. I am simply an old protocol droid.”

Hux was right. He was being unreasonable. This was ridiculous. He finally gave Hux the truth.  He'd already told Hux, but he didn't think Hux did, or could, understand. “I can’t fool the droid. He _knows_ me.”

And Kylo turned around, and for just a moment, he was-

“Master Ben! Oh, it’s been so long! Your mother will be so pleased to see you here! Well… that is. Is it true, what they say about Captain Solo? In all honesty, I’m not sure how she will react. She hasn’t spoken of you since then. And rarely before that. But! It _is_  good to see you again.”

Threepio had started forward, his joints whining and creaking. Kylo couldn’t help but smile at him.

“It sounds like you need an oil bath, Threepio.”

Other than a new red arm, he looked as he always did - gold chrome plating that his mother had always taken care to have polished. Even when Threepio wasn’t useful in other ways, she had wanted him to look sharp. He sounded much worse than he had, every move he made straining some internal mechanism. But he still looked good.

“I’m afraid that oil baths do me no good, Master Ben. They’ve replaced my components so many times that I’m a different droid three times over. Except for my programming, of course. But my parts are so old-”

“Kylo. I’m not going to sit through your heartfelt reunion, or whatever this is.”

Kylo looked to Hux and scowled, trying to push down his nostalgia and keep it hidden. Hux was wearing his own one-piece worksuit, his hair falling across his eyes. Kylo had a brief pang at the thought of their mission ending and Hux styling his hair again. It looked so good loose across his face.

He pushed the affection down, too. Hux was being difficult. He shouldn’t be distracted. “Okay. I’ll take him.”

“Take me where? Master Ben, are you already acquainted with RE-04? He told me there was a malfunctioning speeder and that LE-”

“Deactivate it right now. I can’t find the killswitch.”

“Deactivate!” Threepio awkwardly turned to face Hux again, as indignant as he got. “I say! I don’t need to be rebooted to run a diagnostic-”

“He doesn’t have a killswitch. They removed the 3PO standard one years ago.”

“Master Ben! You know I don’t need to be rebooted-”

“I don’t _actually_  care about the fate of its killswitch. _Shut it up and get it out of here_ , Kylo.”

“I told you I would!” He turned to interrupt Threepio before the droid started speaking. “Threepio. The speeder works fine. I told- I told RE-04 to bring you to me. As a surprise. Will you come with me for a ride? I want to talk to you for a little bit.”

“Master Ben, I am touched-”

“ _Kylo_. It’s a droid. Are you going to take it for a stroll down memory lane before we-”

“ _Hux._ ”

“Hux? As in Commander General Hux of the First Order? I was told-”

Kylo was losing his patience with both of them. “No, Threepio. He just looks like him, so I call him that.”

“Did you just-”

“ _Hux_.”

Hux didn’t take the hint.

 _Did you just_ lie _to a_ droid? _Are you really getting sentimental over an archaic pile of plating and circuitry? It’s not even alive, Kylo._

 _For fuck’s sake, Hux. I’m not getting into this with you right now._  He didn’t want to, he knew Hux wouldn’t understand. And he didn’t want Hux mocking him for it later. _If we keep him here much longer, he’s more likely to attract notice. I want to ask him some questions before I deactivate him. Is that all right with you?_

And, out loud, Threepio was still talking, responding to Kylo's comment.  “He does! He’s a clone. Just like a Stormtrooper! Can you believe it? I didn’t think I’d see another, after all this time.”

Threepio’s nattering was almost too much. Kylo’s nostalgia and patience rapidly retreated, and he nearly turned the droid into dead weight on the spot.

“Threepio,” Kylo managed, through gritted teeth, clenching his hands against the side of the speeder. “Can you climb into the speeder now? I want to take you for a ride. _Away_  from the Hux clone.”

“Of course, Master Ben! It would be my pleasure!”

Kylo glared at Hux as the droid awkwardly climbed into the speeder. Threepio wouldn’t have managed it gracefully even when Kylo was younger, and Kylo had plenty of time to try to press his anger into Hux as the droid awkwardly slid down the side of the speeder again and again, joints and motors straining and whining increasingly loudly as they were overtaxed with the droid’s weight.

Hux didn’t respond to Kylo's baiting, he simply continued to give Kylo the cold look, his displeasure plainly felt. He seemed immune to Kylo’s anger. A waste. Kylo didn’t think he’d get back in time tonight to enjoy Hux’s wrath anyway.

When Threepio was nearly settled, he swung himself into the pilot’s seat wordlessly and took off out of the maintenance bay without a look back. It would have been satisfying to see Hux knocked on his ass from the force of the acceleration, but the wrath he felt through their connection was enough, and he carried Hux’s curses, verbal and mental, with him as an endearment.

Threepio was uncharacteristically silent as they rode across the nearby fields, having righted himself in the seat and apparently content to take in the view. The fields were vacant and full of some sort of tall crop that would be harvested soon - yet another part of Hux’s planning, to conceal the speeder and First Order shuttle more thoroughly. All of the nearby moons were also absent from the night sky, so the surrounding area was lit only by stars. The top of the speeder was open, and it was a very cold night. He could feel the freezing wind pulling tears from his eyes as they flew rapidly over the countryside, his hair snapping and pulling at his scalp.  It was cold, but it felt good to let his hair down without worrying about his Hux disguise.

He felt overwhelmed, almost too much himself, and he wanted to talk to Threepio.

“Threepio.” He swallowed, and shielded his thoughts from Hux. Successfully - he could vaguely feel Hux’s anger spike as he was shut out. He’d likely be able to feel Kylo’s distress at this conversation, but not know why, which was important. He didn’t need to hear about it from Hux later.

“Was my mother very upset about… about Han?”

Threepio gave a whir and turned to face him. Ben caught the slight glint of the stars and the lights of the dashboard in his chrome head. “I’m afraid so, Master Ben. She was told about what happened, of course.”

“Were they… close? Before that? Did they get back together after I left?”

“No. They separated permanently just after you left. I had not seen Captain Solo until shortly before you were reunited yourself.”

Kylo pressed his lips together. “I had to, Threepio. I had to prove that I wasn’t tied to the past.”

Threepio was silent for another moment. “As you say, Master Ben. It would not be the first time I had heard of such a thing.”

Kylo sighed. “Grandfather.”

Threepio perked up at this, and turned toward Kylo. “Oh yes! Master Anakin! You always wanted to hear about him. Yes, it was Master Annie that had last gone contrary to my expectations.”

“Contrary to your expectations,” Kylo repeated wryly, not looking over to the droid. “You told me about how he killed grandmother.” Kylo was silent, and before Threepio could speak again. “I met him recently.”

“Master Annie!” he exclaimed, sounding as astonished as he could. “How extraordinary. He has been gone so many years. How was it done?”

“The Force.”

Threepio paused again. Kylo wondered if his processor had finally slowed over the years. “Of course. Master Luke had said he could speak to Master Ben and others with the Force. It is beyond my understanding.”

Kylo thinned his lips and tightened his grip on the steering column, turning slightly and feeling the wind whip the baggy sleeves of the jumper against his arm and blow frigid air up the cuff of the sleeve.

“He told me about Padme, how much he loved her.”

“He did, Master Ben. He loved her deeply, and it was forbidden for both of them.” Threepio paused for a moment. “I was happy to get my memories of that time back from R2D2, though I was not pleased he withheld them for so long.”

Kylo ignored the droid’s annoyance, and tried to cut him off before he went off on an extended tangent about Artoo. “You said… you said my grandfather built you.”

“Of course! I existed before that, but it was Master Annie that built me from spare parts and programmed my present functions.”

Kylo exhaled. “Tell me again… about when they got married.”

“It made me so happy, Master Ben. They as well. They struck me as deeply unhappy, and devoted to their separate causes. I was pleased to witness the joy they gave each other. And of course, Master Annie gave me as a wedding present to Mistress Padme. He told me that, as a Jedi, I was the only thing he could be said to own, since he had built me. It was quite the gesture! Padme gave him Artoo as a wedding gift, though they were already-”

“Okay.” This was depressing Kylo. He wanted to be bound to Hux, even further than they already were, though the angry encroachment at the edge of his thoughts told him that he may regret such feelings later. He pushed his own strong emotion at Hux before shutting him out again, which only made Hux more angry.

He was absolutely everything to Kylo, and did want to be bound to him tighter, wanted to be secure in the knowledge that Hux was his, and he was Hux’s, and they would stay that way.

“He told me that I would regret what I was doing. That this wasn’t the way.”

“Killing Captain Solo?”

“No.” He paused again, and realized it was ridiculous to feel shy around a droid, especially Threepio. Especially now.

“I fell in love, Threepio.” It was thrilling to be telling another being about this. “I love him. I would do anything for him.”

Threepio was silent. “Yes, that was indeed what Master Annie said about Mistress Padme. I would heed his warning, Master Ben. You are very alike.”

“You don’t understand, Threepio. It hurts so much, living every day knowing that… he’s there with me, and just how much I love him. That we can work together, and live together, and be together. It hurts, but I also feel… better than I have in years. I feel like I’m finally doing the right thing. That I’ve found my place. That it’s with him. I would tear the universe apart to make him happy. I want to destroy everything in my past that made me a different person, Threepio, because it helps him, and it helps me do as he asks me.”

“You are correct, Master Ben. I do not understand.”

“It’s just… he doesn’t love me back, and I know that. It’s just how he is. And I’ll do anything for him if he asks me, and I… can. Part of that makes me so angry, to know that I’m tied to him like that. But on the other hand… nobody knows that about him, except me. It’s something only I have-”

He stopped himself, because he knew it was stupid, to tell this to a droid, when it didn’t even matter. But it felt good, and it was Threepio, who knew him. Before. Perhaps this was necessary.

But it was also ground he’d been treading so often, lately. Maybe there was something to that as well.

He pulled to a stop in a field that Hux had chosen previously, well away from the base, the crop here different, a purple foliage that crept low to the ground. It was surrounded by the fields of the tall plants, so they were concealed, and a ship may be able to land and take off unnoticed, until the crops were found destroyed the next day. As the old motor in the speeder ticked and cooled, he turned to Threepio, who was still uncharacteristically silent. Threepio turned to him.

“I am glad to know that you are happy, in a way, Master Ben, and that you have found someone. Will you be bringing him with you to the base, now that you’re here?”

Kylo smiled. “Threepio, how’s Artoo? Is he around these days?”

“That pile of bolts! He’s still with Master Luke! He’s still insufferable. I hope one day to-”

“So you see him regularly?”

“More than I’d like! I regret all the time I spent worrying about him while he was in self-imposed hibernation! What sensible droid does-”

“You know where he is?”

“Yes, he’s with Master Luke, they’re over in-”

“And does Master Luke come to this base often?”

“He does, to check in. Perhaps he will be happy to see you, Master Ben. He was not married to Captain Solo, as the Princess was. And you were closer to him, were you not?”

“Well,” Kylo considered. “I don’t think he’ll be happy to see me, no.”

“You are likely correct. He was quite attached to Captain Solo himself. In fact, before the Captain was married to the Princess-”

Kylo put up a hand, sensing where this was going and not wanting to know. “Please, Threepio.”

“It was quite passionate, Master Ben. Both your parents and your uncle seem to have that in common with you. Perhaps they’ll be pleased to know you have a lover of your own, though, and a new path in life. You didn’t answer me before, will he be accompanying you to the base soon?”

Kylo’s smile widened. “He’s already here.”

“Oh! How wonderful. Can I meet him?”

“You did. He was Commander General Hux of the First Order.”

Threepio had paused again, longer than usual this time, and Kylo could hear some internal circuitry whining. “I don’t believe I’ve met that individual, Master Ben, though I find this information to be rather troubling. You both were in charge - are you both defecting?”

“No, Threepio. You saw him just before we left. That wasn’t his clone.”

“Oh! Then- He’s been at the base all this time! How did that happen? They should have been able to-”

“I did that part. I-” he waved his hand in front of Threepio’s sensors. “You know. You know us well enough, right?”

“Master Ben-”

“But I couldn’t trick you, Threepio. Thanks for… thanks for listening.”

“Master Ben, _please_ -”

Kylo pinched his thumb and forefinger together in a gesture in front of the droid’s face, and the wires connecting Threepio’s power source disconnected. The droid’s eyes dimmed, and he leaned forward, lifeless.

Kylo felt his anxiety drain away, and was glad of it. This wasn’t hard after all. He smirked at his reflection in Threepio’s head, happy to see it without having to worry about his appearance to others, or any sort of monitoring device.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a comm unit that Hux had constructed for him, something to augment his Force powers and make the connection easier for him. It was difficult, and required concentration, but if he didn’t use his full effort, he might be able to shield what he was doing better. He hadn’t really wanted to do it, so he played up the risk a little more than necessary. Of course, if Luke _was_  here, he would very likely notice what Kylo was doing. But Kylo welcomed the challenge. He was ready for it now.

He told Hux he could mask the broadcast and connect directly to the holo-chamber that they had previously used to communicate with Supreme Leader Snoke. Hux had wanted to come with him and do a separate fleet-wide announcement to declare himself the new Supreme Leader. Which was typical of Hux. Kylo had been the one to kill Snoke, and _Hux_  was the new Supreme Leader.  But there was no point in arguing.  He would do whatever Hux asked of him.  Of course Hux was the new Supreme Leader.

Hux had liked the idea of projecting a meters-high version of himself into the main chamber and declaring himself the leader of the First Order, but Kylo had balked, not agreeing to it. But he did need to send a comm to get Threepio off-world, and that channel was the easiest way, so he placated Hux, telling him that once they finished this mission, which would be very soon, they would soon be rid of their only opposition, and they could announce themselves free and clear. Hux had agreed to this only reluctantly, but had provided the comm all the same. It would also receive an encrypted broadcast, a very limited one, that the Rebellion would detect but be unable to crack. Hux could easily handle it.

Kylo would need to tell the nearest First Order ship where to pick up Threepio, and what they would need from him. He assumed the _Pandora_  was still in this quadrant. If they were, they could be here for Threepio before the sun rose. If not, Kylo would have to leave Threepio in the field. That was somewhat dangerous, but Hux had decided to risk it, as they’d learned that most of the farms were automated and did not require daily maintenance.

And… if Threepio was correct, they wouldn’t need to receive any signal from the First Order before they finished here. Luke would come to Kylo.

Kylo looked at the palm-sized comm, considering. Perhaps he would keep that from Hux. He would pretend ignorance as to why they didn’t send the coordinates, stall until Luke arrived. Meanwhile, the First Order could mine whatever information they liked from Threepio.

He would ask them for a copy of the droid’s memories, though. He hated himself for it.

—-

A week passed, then two. The Jedi didn’t detect the signal and immediately come to slaughter them, but neither did the First Order contact them with the comm that Hux had built. To his knowledge, nobody had missed the droid at the base.

Hux waited impatiently for Kylo to confirm their next action, and didn’t quite believe Kylo when he claimed he had no idea why the First Order hadn’t found the coordinates they needed yet. Kylo claimed he couldn’t send another signal and risk detection until they were sure there was nothing else they could do, lest they immediately be found out. Hux still suspected Kylo was waiting for the Jedi to show up at the base on their own. A waste of time, when they could confront them elsewhere, without an opposing army at their back. He regularly told Kylo this, but it made no difference.

Hux finally made the decision to insist. He had waited long enough, this stupid mission had run its course, and as the new Supreme Leader, he could no longer engage in this sort of high-risk subterfuge, no matter how much information was at stake, and no matter what Kylo wanted.

He was determined to tell Kylo immediately. He had just finished his training with the new recruits, and was walking down the hall and partially shielding his thoughts, running through the conversation he’d have with Kylo, and how to mask his anger and keep Kylo from distracting him with his sexual antics. He wouldn’t be dissuaded this time.

He wanted a shower badly, and was distracted by this and his thoughts of how Kylo would sidetrack him when he was intercepted by Junior Officer Unforia, taken quite unaware.

"RE-04, good afternoon! How was training?"

Hux blinked in surprise, and raked a hand through his sweaty hair to buy himself an extra moment to compose the correct act. "The recruits are eager, and I enjoy being useful. I like the training a lot better here, to be honest." Hux gave her what he hoped was a winning smile. "It feels good to have given up my life aboard the _Pandora_.” He paused, wondering how earnest to make himself sound. “It’s also comforting to know that me and RE-11 are safe. That means a lot to me." He looked down briefly, and made himself blush before looking up to meet her eye again.

Unforia smiled back. "I'm so glad. You're a real asset to the base, and so is RE-11.” She paused, and her smile faltered. “We'll have to give you real names soon, you know? All of us feel bad calling you by numbers."

Hux had hated the nicknames they had tried out so far, deferring in feigned embarrassment whenever they came up with a new one. He thought he might have to suggest one soon, to save himself the annoyance of these conversations. But he brightened at the thought that he’d decided to end this, and this may be the last time it would come up. One more reason to talk to Kylo tonight.

"I think a name might make me feel more like I gave up my old life. That would be for the best," He replied thoughtfully, turning away from her to stare down the hall in consideration, hoping it indicated he was looking for Kylo. He turned back to Unforia, smiling slightly. "But listen to me, taking up your time in the middle of a crowded hallway. I'm sure talking to me after I've had such a workout is unpleasant.” He pulled at the collar of his loose uniform shirt to indicate his discomfort. “Was there anything you needed my help with?"

"Oh, yes!" she said, brightening slightly. "Admiral Kenvir let me know that there has been a pretty significant intel source gained within the First Order recently, and the higher-ups wanted to ask you a few more questions, see if you could help them."

Significant intel source? Hux’s mind ran through the possibilities as he continued to offer pleasantries to the Lieutenant. "Of course. I'm always happy to help. I feel like they'd get sick of hearing me tell the same stories over and over again, though."

“Ha! I’m sure they’re always pleased to hear your stories. We all are. I hope you’re not tired of telling them, though?”

Hux smiled wider, hoping it still looked sincere, but gritting his teeth slightly. “Of course not.”

When she stood in the hallway, looking expectantly at him, he realized she meant now. His smile faltered, and he pulled at the collar of his shirt again.

“Do they want me now, though? I’m sure we would _all_  be more comfortable if I didn’t come in smelling like the training grounds.” He tried smiling again, hoping it would win her over and she would grant him at least forty-five minutes.

Her expression turned more sympathetic, and she clasped her hands behind her back as she shook her head. “No, they seemed pretty wound up when they summoned me. Whatever this is, it’s big, and I think it’s brand new. They wanted to see you yesterday, it sounded like. You know how it is.”

She held out her hand, gesturing down the hallway. He smiled at her and nodded, taking a few steps. She turned and led him down the hallway, threading through the afternoon post-shift crowd. Hux was still soaked with sweat and felt disgusting, and there was still a part of him that was loathe to appear in front of other officers, Resistance or otherwise, looking anything less than sharply presented. He let himself scowl briefly as he untucked his shirt to clean the sweat from his face, and tucked it in again. Slovenly.

He mentally cursed the delay of his much-needed shower and, he was loathe to admit, a rough fuck with Kylo. Kylo’s dressing-down and his insistence they leave could come after that, especially if he was going to have to answer the same stupid questions _again_. Kylo was just as fed up with this process as he was, and maybe it would help make his point about their need to end this mission.

Unforia led him towards the West side of the base, and he reached out to Kylo to warn him that he might also be intercepted for questioning. Kylo confirmed, and Hux sensed that he was finishing up his training session with another group of recruits, and was also massively annoyed at the new development.

Unforia took him to a sterile office with a cheap durasteel table and four uncomfortable chairs bathed in cheap yellow lighting. She gestured for him to take a seat on the side of the table facing the other three seats. "If you'll wait here, RE-04? I think the Admiral should be in shortly."

She left, and Hux studied the blank walls, contemplating talking with Kylo again. He thought about what the intelligence leak could possibly be, but there was little point in speculating until he had more facts. It could be anything, and it was probably minor. But it did make him even more desperate to leave this base. He was still running through his arguments to Kylo when an Admiral he'd never met before walked in, a big man in a very elaborate uniform. Hux was surprised to see it. Presumably this man was in charge of… something. The ground forces? The fleet? Hux knew they had such uniforms, but no other Resistance officer he’d seen on the bases had any sort of uniform that was more than functional. He was glad to see the higher-ups shared some of his own opinions of appearance.

He didn’t have much time to appreciate the Admiral’s uniform. The size of the man concealed the other person who would be interviewing Hux in the room. General Felasi of the First Order stepped in just before the door slid shut, wearing a torn and stained uniform and looking absolutely miserable. His eyes landed on Hux and brightened immediately.

Hux turned away and carefully schooled his expression and closed his mind. He focused on the Admiral with feigned curiosity, waiting to be addressed.

The Admiral sat down with a datapad that he consulted briefly. Felasi sat down directly across from Hux, in the center chair, and looked extremely pleased with himself. Hux gave him nothing.

The Admiral glanced up at Hux. "Are you RE-04 or RE-11?"

"RE-04, sir."

"Right. The chatty one. Glad we caught you first. Do you recognize this person?"

Hux turned back to Felasi, studied his face curiously, then turned to the Admiral again. "No sir, I don't think so.” He turned back to Felasi, the impulse to leap across the table and tear the man apart with his bare hands almost too painfully strong to resist. But he kept his face blank, wondering how Felasi would respond to him, and how they had captured this idiot in the first place. “Have we met before?"

The Admiral turned to Felasi. "Have you?"

Felasi narrowed his eyes, and the corner of his mouth quirked. "I'm almost positive that's Commander General Hux. I don't think Darth Caedus has the social skills to bluff like he does." Felasi nodded. “It’s definitely one of the two. I’ve met Hux, and this is either him or the Force user, nobody else could be as convincing.”

Hux furrowed his brow, looking back at the Admiral. "What does he mean?"

The Admiral studied his face, finding nothing. Hux couldn't tell if he was trying to pry into his mind with the Force, and desperately hoped he wasn't. What were the odds? Force users were so rare.

The Admiral responded after studying him for a long moment. "This is General Felasi, who commands the Star Destroyer _Neva_  for the First Order. _Neva_  was captured recently, and General Felasi has been most helpful." The Admiral kept studying Hux's face.

Hux blinked, running through a variety of reactions, deciding on hopefulness. "Is he helping you capture the rest of the First Order ships?"

"He did. We took his ship pretty easily, so the _Finalizer, Pandora,_ and _Endurance_  are also now our ships. We're getting ready to attack the main First Order bases within the next week."

Hux smiled, looked hopeful, but he wanted badly, more than ever, to reach out to Kylo, to find out what exactly was going on. It felt so much like an ending to him, but it couldn’t be. This couldn’t be correct. This was a bluff. Felasi wouldn’t do this. He was loyal. None of Hux’s officers would simply turn over like this.

It was easier to play along with whatever this was, though. Continue to play his role. That’s what he could do right now. "That's great news! That will bring an end to the war."

The Admiral continued to study Hux's face, giving nothing of his own away. "General Felasi has told us that you and RE-11 are the real Commander General Hux and the Sith Lord Darth Caedus wearing a Force disguise. He says there are only two types of soldiers, the regular clones and Hux's recruits. That there aren’t clones of the Hux family, which is the intel we obtained from you." He looked down at his datapad, and back up. “All the sources we have inside the First Order now also fail to corroborate what you told us. You need to convince me fast.”

Hux frowned. "I don't know... I mean... I'll do anything you want to prove myself." He hoped it sounded earnest, and hoped it was what the man wanted to hear.

The Admiral continued to study him, face completely straight. "We can submit you to a midiclorian count. That will tell us you aren't a Sith Lord."

Hux laughed, as genuinely amused as he’d ever been. The laugh came out sounding flat, forced. "I never thought I'd get mistaken for a Sith Lord in my life." He wasn't sure if he should look nervous or not. If he could even feign the right kind of nervousness for this situation. Would a regular person being mistaken for Hux be nervous, or would it look more suspicious because only he should be nervous, and a regular person would be confused? Fuck. Could he talk his way out? That needed to happen, if nothing else.

The Admiral smiled. "I hope it is a joke. You're pretty well-liked around here."

Felasi broke in, outraged, because of course he would be. Apparently his knack for saying the wrong thing at absolutely the wrong time hadn’t left him since Hux had spoken to him last. Hux was sure, suddenly, that Felasi had betrayed the entire Order. Felasi was in it for himself, to the bitter end of his life. Hux hoped that was coming soon.

Felasi stood, red in the face, his hair disheveled and his torn uniform revealing cuts and dried patches of blood that Hux was vaguely surprised hadn’t been cleaned up by the Resistance yet. Felasi leaned across the table and pointed a finger into Hux’s face. Hux wanted to break it. "This is a farce! I'm sure that's Commander General Hux! Get them both here together. It’s certain, given his history, that the Sith Darth Caedus will go on an offensive if accused. Then you'll know I'm telling the truth."

The Admiral turned to Felasi, gesturing to him with a quelling hand. Hux wondered why Felasi wasn’t restrained. Had he really put up so little of a fight?

"Now, now. You've given us all the good information we needed for capturing the whole fleet. There's no reason not to trust you. We're just working under the assumption that these boys may be part of a clone program you weren't aware of."

"You would have found a record of it aboard one of the other ships! Did you? Did you find any other redheaded clones?"

Hux wanted to kill him. Wanted to strangle him while snarling _traitor_  into his face over and over again. There was very little he hated more than betrayal, and this was the worst kind. This ruined everything. Absolutely everything.

The Admiral sighed. "No, we didn't." He looked over at Hux with regret. "We're going to get that midiclorian count from you, but we’ll do that in a bit. It’ll take us a little time to figure out how to do that. We're also going to have someone else in to question you." He turned and raised his voice towards the door. "All right. Come on in. I can't tell if he's telling the truth or not."

The door opened, and Luke Skywalker entered the room.

Right.

Hux continued to feign what he hoped were the right facial expressions, smiling at Luke politely as he made his way to the table. The Hero of the Rebellion looked… old. He was the grayest man Hux had ever seen. He looked less like one of the most powerful individuals in the galaxy and more like a displaced war refugee. Perhaps he was both.

Luke Skywalker, in his baggy ill-fitting robes, with his gray hair and gray beard, his robot hand and his sad eyes, looked like the world had ended. Luke’s hadn't. It was Hux’s that might have. Hux was struggling to find something in himself other than blinding rage over the fact that Felasi would betray him like this.

Hux furiously ran his mind through scenarios for the present situation as he continued to wait politely for a greeting from Skywalker.

Leave his mental barriers up. Then they'd be suspicious. They'd think he was Kylo, and maybe they'd treat him differently.

Take them down. Luke would know everything.

Ask Kylo for help. Luke would probably hear.

He decided. His face fell into his impersonal mask of arrogance. He sat up straighter, dropped his ingratiating manner. He felt more himself than he had in months. He straightened, feeling as if a modicum of control had been gained in doing so.

"Well. Actually, I don’t think I will submit to this. I know who you are, and what that means."

Luke's eyes widened slightly, and the Admiral sat back in his seat, whistled.  He let his gaze, with the full force of his fury, land on Felasi.  Felasi looked at first triumphant, but his face quickly folded into puzzlement, then fear.  Hux gave him an insincere smile.

They wouldn't get another word out of him.  This looked bad, and his mind threw itself again and again into dead ends, continually arriving at the obvious truth that he would never escape alive from here and retreat to a First Order base.  There was simply no way.

But there was.  The most powerful being in the galaxy was his to command. Hux had seen him do the impossible. He would put the situation in Kylo's hands, and they would simply leave.

He opened his mind, called for Kylo across the base. Told him that he’d been right, and that he needed to come kill General Felasi, by any means necessary. Right now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp! Inside a month! One more update after this! I'll post the last chapter and epilogue together.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: violence, semi-major character death, and technically a MCD, though that doesn't mean much in this story, does it?

When Kylo got Hux's message, he was striding through a crowded hallway.  He stopped, tensing, letting the crowd surge around him, waiting for more information from Hux.  As he stood, he saw two Junior Officers pushing through the hallway to approach him.  The were smiling, making eye contact, obviously wanting to speak to him. He scanned their minds. They knew nothing of what Hux had just said.

Kylo considered his options. Did Hux really want him to fight his way through the base, dropping the pretense and giving up on the plan? That didn’t seem wise. In fact, that was suicide. But, judging from what he had felt from Hux, the strength and clarity he'd used to send out the order, that might be exactly what Hux intended.  Kylo wasn't sure, and he couldn't find Hux's mind, Hux had closed it off tight.

That was a bad sign.

If General Felasi was here, it meant he had been captured. He would know that there weren’t clones of Hux, he knew Kylo could impersonate Hux's appearance, and based on Kylo’s limited interactions with him, he was also the type of person that would sell them to save his own skin. Kylo could feel the anger rolling through the command to kill him. That certainly meant Felasi had given them up.

Well. Okay.

Kylo closed his eyes, focused his mind. Drew the Force into himself. He dropped his Hux disguise, shuddering - it had become second nature in public places like this. He opened his eyes again and saw the Junior Officers and a few others that had noticed staring at him, their mouths open in shock. He smiled.

He had taken to carrying his lightsaber with him. They hadn't been checked for weapons in ages, and he had constructed this after they were relatively complacent with his company. He had begun wearing it high up on his thigh, under his uniform pants, for just such an emergency.

He undid the holster with the Force, and the weapon fell heavily to the floor, snapping back into his hands. He turned it on, and felt the heat of the crossguard against his hand. He and Hux didn’t have opportunities to duel on this base, and it had been a long time since he’d used it. Feeling the dissonant crystal hum through him, he knew it was still right. He hadn't forgotten. As he looked around, the humming of the blade had drawn even more attention, and the hallway was beginning to empty around him while more people pressed in from the sides to see what the commotion was.

He knew it was best to clear out the hallway now, while he still had the element of surprise. Less soldiers to fight later. He let the crowd scatter as they caught sight of his lightsaber, but they weren't nearly fast enough to get him to Hux.  He dipped and moved with the Force, feeling the blade sing through him and the slight shudder when he ended a life. The lives washed through him in the Force, their shock and dismay, their anger and confusion, the lack of understanding about why it was happening. None even attempted to stop him. In the heat of battle, and as he did it personally, Kylo could use it to feed his concentration, bringing his speed and reaction up.

It had been even longer since he’d done this. This wasn’t part of his final training, since he’d already mastered combat. It had been years since he’d taken so many lives by his own hand. He remembered. He always did.

He made short work of the hallway. It cleared out completely after he had killed around twenty people, including the clueless junior officers.

He closed his eyes and centered himself, catching his breath and tuning out the sirens, which had just begun to blare. He checked himself for remorse, regret. Any reaction at all to what he was doing.

Nothing. There was nothing. Perhaps he'd taken more from Hux than he'd realized. He reached further, for any emotions, something that might help him. He found only the need to keep Hux safe, to get both of them out of here, to get them back to the First Order and recover from whatever crisis was happening. This was suicide, but Kylo would not give himself to it. Hux believed him capable of anything, even this. He would do it.

He sent out his mind for Hux, still couldn't find him. He opened his eyes, scanning the hallway. A half-dozen soldiers ran from behind a corner and opened fire. He could hear the alarms change in pitch, lockdown messages starting up throughout the base.

He froze the blaster beams in the air. Walked up to the soldiers. Most of them took several steps back, were too frightened and overwhelmed to run. He grabbed one.

"Where is the General being held?"

The man's face was wild, terror-stricken. "Who? What General?"

Kylo rummaged roughly, indelicately --[ _just a teenager from Sentania had joined with the Resistance army when his parents forbid him marrying the neighbor girl they had gotten married and joined up together both believing they could make a difference she was in this same unit_ ]-- through his mind. Found nothing. Dropped the man, who had broken under the abrupt invasion. Kylo let the blasters go, froze the other soldiers in place, scanned their minds roughly, quickly.

Nothing. He killed them, Force-crushing their heads in a rage, watching their blood and brains pool onto the gray industrial floor, the overhead lights reflecting indifferently on them.

He turned, his frustration mounting. He knew what he had to do, and didn't want to. If Felasi was here, and Hux was ordering him to end their undercover mission, that had to mean they suspected Kylo was here, and his uncle would be near Hux.  

He thought about what his uncle would do to Hux.

He wouldn’t hurt him.  His uncle wouldn't know about them, and even if he did, he wouldn't hurt Hux.

But using the Force to scan the base for Hux would reveal his identity and location to his uncle for sure, if Hux's order hadn't already.  Kylo would rather not.  But it was the fastest way to Hux.

He scanned the base for Force-sensitive individuals. He found several people who were stronger than he thought, all in a room together. Perhaps they were new Jedi recruits. Maybe Luke had decided to try again.

He also found Luke Skywalker. Felt the Jedi's regard at Kylo's intrusion.

_Ben._

_Uncle. Where is General Hux of the First Order?_

_He's with me. You need to stop what you're doing. They aren't part of this._

_They are if they're standing between me and my goal._

_What are you hoping to do here?_

_Find you. Find the General._

_We're together._

**_WHERE?_ **

Kylo snarled over the mental link, sending the command with such force he wouldn't be surprised if everyone on the base sensed it. He felt Luke flinch and nearly break the connection. He was weaker, frailer than Kylo had remembered. Because he was older? Because Kylo had gotten better? Either way, Kylo felt his confidence build, and a small part of his mind still scrambled, looking for Hux. Hux would seal this victory for him.

Luke sent directions to where they were, tinged with sadness. He knew what had to be done. So did Kylo. He felt more confident, now that he had felt the Jedi's frailty. He could also feel Luke reaching out to the students, and Kylo blocked him. He didn’t know how strong they were in the Force, but he only wanted one objective right now.

He strode through the halls. The lockdown warnings had changed to announcements to keep the hallways clear. Smart. Kylo would have killed anyone he encountered, whether they were armed or not. He could feel his own rage, fear, and battle lust. He tapped into them, tapped the Dark Side with them. The fear wasn't potent. It wasn't fear of Luke Skywalker, but fear of what they'd do to Hux. Whatever they did, he would get him free. If they killed him, Kylo would bring him back to life. The thought calmed him, steadied him.

As he got closer, he groped more and more for Hux. Found him, huddling behind mental barriers, unsure how he even found him under these circumstances. Hux was guarding himself heavily, but he also wasn't in the room Luke had given him.

_Liar._

More rage. He used his lightsaber to stave in the door where Hux was being held. He strode into the room, and paused to take in the older officer, two guards on either side of Hux, and General Felasi. They all looked at him as the door burst in. The officer stood up.

"It is you."

Kylo was standing in the doorway, wielding the red lightsaber with the crossguard that Hux hated so much, panting, covered in blood and gore from the soldiers and staff he had killed with the Force, his hair and Resistance uniform damp and disheveled from the fighting and training. He looked like a nightmare. He could feel Hux, against all logic, getting aroused. Fucking great.

"You." The officer didn't seem to know what to do. Kylo had never met him before. "What are you doing here? Luke told me he summoned you elsewhere."

Kylo was breathing hard, and didn't answer at first. Didn't trust himself to answer. "I was told to come here." He gasped thinly, finally.

"What are you hoping to accomplish here? Retrieving _him_? Escaping? The First Order is in ruins! There's nothing to run back to. You can end it here, stop the violence-"

"I didn't order him to come here and save me." Hux spoke up sharply, cutting the officer off. The room turned to look at him in disbelief.

Felasi’s lip curled. “Since when do you command the Sith?”

“Since I killed my old master.” Kylo took a step into the room. He could see and feel the others recoiling at his presence. Only Hux was unafraid. Kylo sank into his thoughts. Complete confidence.  They could do this thing. The right thing. Take out the traitor.

Felasi’s eyes darted from Kylo back to Hux. He was feigning composure, and Kylo could see him trying to stall, to wait for Luke Skywalker, to try and drive Hux and Kylo apart.

Felasi's gaze settled on Hux, and he gestured lazily at Kylo.  “You think he listens to you? If he killed his old master, he’d kill you as soon as it suited him. He’s _dangerous._  They’re offering you a bargain, a better one than you deserve. If you use him, we’ll all die here today.”

“Then I’ll see you in hell.” Hux’s cold blue gaze, his arrogant, impersonal mask in place, turned on Kylo.

Kylo looked into his eyes, and was lost for a moment. The situation, the world, his existence, fell away into Hux’s eyes. There was just the two of them in the room.

Still buried deep in Hux’s mind, Kylo could see that Hux had stolen the line from an old holo he had seen as a child. It was something Han Solo had said. He felt Hux wondering if Kylo knew the line, if it was something Han Solo had really said.

Kylo’s face crumpled in incredulity, that Hux was so utterly calm, so unafraid, that he was willing to bait the person that was saving him from execution or a life in prison.

But of course he was.  It was Hux.

Hux’s eyes narrowed, and he gave the order. “Kill him.”

Kylo did, somewhat grudgingly. He jumped across the room and onto the table. It was an impossible jump, and he had used the Force to do it. He brought his lightsaber down into the skull of General Felasi, cleaving him in half. There was some blood - with such a wound, the lightsaber couldn’t cauterize against pressure from a warm, beating heart, but Felasi’s body registered its demise soon enough, and he fell backwards onto the floor. The room was silent. The older officer next to Felasi stared in numb shock, his face spattered lightly with a spray of blood.

Kylo steadied his breathing, and raised himself up from his crouch, standing on the table, appraising the Officer.

"What now, General?" He asked, as casually as he could manage.

"Kill them all, Lord Caedus."

Without turning around, he swung his sword to decapitate the officer and continued the arc around, taking out the guard to the right of Hux. But as Hux spoke, the guard on the left perceived the threat, and turned his blaster on Hux.

Kylo could feel the thoughts moving through his head, that the First Order had killed his brother on Corellia, and that it was probably this asshole right here giving the order, and he would rather do it and be dead than let him live one moment-

Kylo brought his blade up and cleaved through the neck of the guard, but not before he had shot Hux through the head with the blaster, against all Resistance training.

Kylo's mind filled with a black buzzing. He kicked the guard's body out of the way to make room for himself to jump to the floor, next to Hux. He dropped his lightsaber, insensible, somehow freeing Hux from his bonds. He used one hand to hold Hux's limp head steady on his neck, the other to study the wound on either side of his head, trying to wipe the thin spatter of blood off his face, vaguely registering that he still looked arrogant even after being shot through the head and killed, wondering how to use the Force if he ever needed to use the Force in his life now was the -

"Ben."

He whipped his head towards the door, spotting Luke Skywalker. Without speaking, without thinking, he threw the man across the room, pinning him to the opposite wall. Luke couldn't talk or breathe. Kylo could feel several of his ribs crack. Luke wasn't fighting back. Kylo wasn't sure why. Wondered if releasing his uncle to give himself a moment to think was a good idea. He dropped Luke to the floor, turning back to Hux, who had fallen out of the chair onto the floor.  

He gathered Hux to himself, pulling his head against his chest, one arm around his back.  He didn't sense anything else.  Seconds or days could have passed.  The alarms were still on in the base.  Luke was suddenly standing next to him.  It didn't matter.  Luke spoke.

"You... loved him."

"I still do."

"Ben, he's... he's gone." The statement was soft, hesitant. Likely because he didn't know how Kylo would react to it. Kylo didn't know either. He said nothing. He just kept thinking about how to bring Hux back.  That single thought, _bring Hux back_ , repeated and rang through his head over and over again, chasing itself in circles without producing any answer

"Ben... death is... just becoming one with the Force. It should be celebrated."

"Did you celebrate when your aunt and uncle died?”

Luke was silent for a moment. “No. I was younger. I didn’t know what we know. It’s dangerous, letting yourself go. You know it is.” He took a hesitant step forward. “After all this, you must still know. We’re different. It’s dangerous when we can’t control ourselves.”

Kylo couldn’t tear his gaze away from Hux’s still face. “No. I’s not the same. You don’t know anything about… this." He clutched Hux tighter. He didn’t feel like he was really here. Time had frozen and stuttered and fallen apart. He was watching himself talk to Luke from a distance, not invested in anything going on. None of this was real.

Luke shook his head. "I've faced death before. My father died in my arms."

Kylo sneered, and felt a pull of anger. He looked up briefly. "So did mine.” His gaze went back down to Hux. “You’re speaking of the father you didn't know, until you found out he was the tyrant ruling the galaxy, the one who had been trying to kill you? How many conversations did you have with him. Two? Three? It must have been difficult when he passed. It must have been just like this."

Luke said nothing. Kylo went on.

"If you're going to tell me not to… do this, to lose myself, we've had this conversation before. I had it recently with grandfather, too. He tried to tell me to turn back, to go to the Light."

Luke was still. "He came to you? Through the Force?"

"Yes.” Kylo heard his voice soften as he recalled it, still watching this from a distance. “I've never had that happen before. He said he was the only one who could get through to me."

"Did it help? At all? To talk to him?" Luke sounded greedy, hopeful. A little less sad, a little less hurt. He was slowly walking across the room. Kylo wasn't sure if he was walking slowly because he was hurt, or if he was trying to approach Kylo to strike. Would Luke kill Kylo outright? Kylo still couldn't read him, past the inevitability of this meeting, his surety that he could still win, even with Hux lying dead in his arms.  The confidence felt strange.

"Help what? Did talking to someone I've never met suddenly give me all the self-control you’d tried to teach me over the years? Did it push me back to the Light? No, it didn't." He paused for a moment, debated going on. Felt a slightly perverse sense of pride in sharing the rest. "He came to me because I had become one with the Force, and come back. He told me I had too much power to use poorly. I brought him back to life, and then killed him again."

Luke stopped walking across the room. He stood. Kylo could hear him, thought about trying to access his thoughts. Didn't want to know. The part of him watching this from a distance suddenly hated that Luke was here, that this confrontation was happening at all, was dreading what had to happen next, even after he’d seen it as an ending, even after looking forward to it, even with the strange and alien confidence pulsing through his thoughts.

He ignored it. Letting such things in would weaken him. It would also make this more real. He shifted his arms around Hux again.

"He told me I had power over death, the same as he wanted for his wife. So it doesn't matter if Hux is dead. I can bring him back.”

Alarms were still blaring throughout the base. Lights were strobing in the hall outside the door. Kylo wondered if the base was being evacuated. Having Kylo unleashed was like getting attacked by an unstoppable First Order force. Except he couldn't think. Wasn’t actually here. Couldn't-

He turned to his uncle, all of it hitting him at once in a wave of awful, wrenching grief. He looked down at Hux one more time, and laid him gently on the floor, wiping more of the blood off his face, smoothing back his hair. He bent to kiss his forehead, and stood.

Luke shook his head. “Ben. I still know you. I see it.  It's not really the power you want.” He gestured to Hux on the floor.

It didn’t really matter, any of this. The Resistance, the New Republic, the First Order. His stupid name, which was two behind and seemed silly to correct.  He had left his uncle and turned because he had been miserable, hated being controlled, hated being forced to become something he wasn’t.

So he had become stronger as himself. Very strong. Had forced himself to make difficult, powerful, irreversible decisions.  But none of it mattered. Not this situation, not even this confrontation with Luke, really. It only mattered because he had to be done with it before he could get Hux back. All his power, and he would throw all of it away willingly if he could bring Hux back.

He sighed.

“And you’re just a nobody with the fate of the galaxy forced on you.” He took a step forward, drew his lightsaber into his hand. Luke did the same with his. They studied each other.

He saw the look on his Uncle's face as Luke realized what was coming, realized he couldn't stop it, perhaps felt a reverse echo of the odd confidence that filled Kylo.

Kylo nodded. “I’ll do it. Because…” he paused, and looked back down to Hux, and back at Luke. “Would you let me bring him back and walk away?”

Luke shook his head, very slowly.

“Then I have to do this.” He tightened his grip on the lightsaber, set his face into a hard expression. “We both know how this will go.”

He turned on his lightsaber and stepped forward. He felt the heat from the crossguard vents on his ungloved hand.  It had already seared the skin. It didn’t matter.

Luke shook his head. “You aren’t the one meant to do this, Ben. Not here. Not now.”

This wasn't true, and Kylo thought they could both sense it.

Kylo cocked his head. “Why? Because you were more of a father to me than Han Solo? That didn’t help him. Why would it help you?”

Luke shook his head one last time. “This isn’t meant to be. Not here. Not now.”

“This is how it has to be. Some other lifetime perhaps, it can be otherwise."

Kylo took one more step and cut Luke down at the waist. Luke didn’t even turn on his lightsaber to defend himself. Kylo paused after he finished the stroke, wondering if Luke didn’t defend because he knew his defeat was inevitable, or he didn’t really believe Ben would do it.

It didn’t matter.

He felt the Force rock from the death of the Jedi, unbalanced. Kylo caught the imbalance rushing over to the Dark, gathered it. Closed his eyes. Felt it coming to him. Knew this was right.

He stumbled over to Hux and knelt, eyes closed, head throbbing, seeing everything. He laid his hands against Hux's face, stroking it, moving his fingers into his hair, where the blaster had pierced his skull.

Rather than pushing the Force into him, he let it move through Hux, trying to rebuild his mind, calling Hux back, thinking of everything that made him Hux.

Control. Anger. Trust. Masochism. Complete self-assurance. That look on his face-

Kylo heard Hux gasp, and his eyes flew open to see Hux clamp a hand on either side of his head, staring up at Kylo in disbelief. Kylo wrapped his own fingers through Hux’s and squeezed, speechless.

"You did it. You complete and utter fucking mess, you brought me back to life."

Kylo leaned in, kissed him roughly. Hux bit him, hard. Kylo only kissed him harder, lying down and pinning Hux beneath him, holding his hands and letting relief and happiness and utter disbelief roll through him and not knowing if it was him or Hux that was feeling it-

He began to grow lightheaded, and he felt Hux struggling below him. He realized he wasn't breathing, and pulled back, gasping for breath and opening his eyes to look into Hux's cold blue eyes, open and very much alive.

"You almost killed me again."

"I'd have just brought you back." Kylo stared at Hux, greedily. His head was whole, there was no gaping wound through it. He still appeared to have offal streaked through his hair, on his shoulders and face. Kylo released one of Hux’s hands and picked at some of it. Hux only blinked at him.

"In case it happens again, getting shot through the head is not an ideal outcome to any situation, even if you can bring me back to life."

"Hux, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Shut up." Hux sat up, pushing Kylo off him. Kylo crouched in front of him, still unable to stop staring at Hux, whole and alive, forgetting everything else.

Hux looked around the room, taking in the deaths and the battle, the strobing lights and the sirens. He stared at General Felasi. Kylo was too overwhelmed with his own relief to pick up on Hux’s specific thoughts, but he didn’t have to be a mind-reader to know what Hux's opinions on General Felasi were.

Hux turned back to him. "Can we get out of here?"

"Yes." Escape would be easy. Anything was easy, after bringing Hux back to life.

"How?"

"Steal a ship."

"Can you fly?"

"No, can you?"

"No. Steal a pilot. Where are we going?"

"Away."

Hux gave him a look that let Kylo know that was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. He pushed himself off the floor and began walking toward the door, as if dying and coming back to life had been nothing. Kylo followed.

As Hux made his way through the now-vacant hallways, he turned to speak to Kylo. "Steal a ship with communications. We need to know the extent of Felasi’s treachery, exactly how much he told, and how fast the Resistance acted on it. I need to know how many First Order bases are still operational." Hux stopped suddenly and turned back to face Kylo. "Can we do something to trash this base on the way out?"

"Other than killing their Jedi?"

Hux looked back over Kylo’s shoulder. He’d barely glanced at Luke Skywalker. Kylo wondered if he’d even noticed the battle had taken place. "Ideally we'd blow the base up. Can we do that? Do they have any large-scale weapons here?"

"I don't know."

"Okay," Hux said, accepting the statement with eerie rationality. He turned and continued to walk down the hallway, through the visual and audio cacophony. "This is important. Get us to a systems panel."

Kylo couldn't believe Hux was here, walking, planning, perfectly himself and very well.

Kylo had wondered sometimes, if Hux did die by another’s hand and Kylo brought him back, would he still be Hux? It was different than what they had been doing before. If part of Hux left when he died, if some of him was missing, would Kylo know what it was? And would he be able to call it back, or would he have to invent it himself?

He had done it perfectly. He had done the right thing when it mattered most. He closed his eyes briefly, and opened them again.

"Do you still have a lightsaber?"

"Yes." Hux paused and clamped his hand over his calf, then rolled his pantleg up and grabbed the hilt.

"Using it instead of getting shot through the head will help."

"Yes."

They continued to walk calmly through the base, in their Resistance uniforms streaked in blood, unactivated lightsaber hilts in hand.

They could do this. This was nothing. They could do anything together.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for discussions of suicide. A vague-ish head's up that there's some pretty dark, violent stuff hinted at for the two of them... that doesn't actually happen. They're both okay at the end!

Hux sat on a piece of steel refuse on the outskirts of a town, staring out across the barren desert wastes that appeared to surround it for miles. He had no idea where they were, and had long ago lost track of these forgotten corners of the galaxy. He couldn’t even remember if this desert planet had a binary star, or just one. He couldn’t muster the energy to look up and check, though his eyes scanned to confirm that even if he did, the sun was behind him. He felt cold, so maybe it was just the one star.

They had escaped the Resistance base and blown it up on the way out, killing most of the Resistance leadership. That success had been rather heady, given the slim odds that the two of them had faced. It was miraculous (especially as it had involved his own resurrection from a fatal head wound), but Kylo did have a way with magic. That victory had made Hux all but certain about their inevitable return to the First Order, where Hux could assume the role of Supreme Leader. Certainly Felasi hadn’t turned on the Order as badly as it sounded. The Order couldn’t have fallen.  Even if it was true the Resistance had captured the entire fleet (which wasn't possible, there was no way Felasi could have done that much damage), the Admiral had said they hadn't yet captured the bases.  Hux had thought it likely that the bases and fleet were in no immediate danger, though. He had assumed they just wanted him to panic and talk.  Felasi had been in a position to turn him over to the Resistance in exchange for his own life, and had probably suggested the whole thing as an act.

But none of the Order's comm channels had answered with the right clearance codes, and not even Kylo could reach out and locate the nearest active units. He claimed there was too much turmoil. They had tried the few nearby bases, but had fled immediately when they spotted Resistance ally cruisers in orbit around the planets, and picked up the related chatter on their encrypted comms. The Resistance comms were now more plentiful and easier to access than the First Order channels.

As they listened to the victory chatter, it became apparent that the Resistance had been larger than they realized, including many silent allies with deep pockets. Hux had been impressed with the size while on tours of the facilities, but even that had not prepared him for the size of the mobile force he and Kylo kept encountering. In addition, more planetary governments had supported them with ships and soldiers in a concerted effort to quash the First Order after the attacks on the Hosnian system and Corellia.

Hux had been right, too much fear had been a bad thing. And the First Order was all but lost.

As near as Hux could tell, a random scout ship had spotted the _Neva_ , reporting its position back to the Resistance. A Resistance army had boarded the ship, masquerading as a convoy of lost freighters. They had taken the _Neva_ quickly, without raising alarms or giving them a chance to radio out that they'd been captured. It was so simple that Hux had almost laughed when he’d heard.

And just like that, they’d had access to the _Neva's_ computers, which tracked the rest of the fleet and contained anything they wanted to know about the First Order. Everything about the bases, number and sizes of ships, all the information about every soldier, down to their daily routine and home planets. And their current locations.

Sympathetic governments had quickly cooperated in a coordinated effort to take down the fleet immediately. All their ground operations had been rapidly overrun, and they had even located and terminated the construction of the new Starkiller Base. Information on Starkiller Base had been contained solely in the highly restricted files on the _Neva_ , which of course Felasi had access to and willingly handed over in exchange for his life.

Ultimately, there wasn't anything Hux could have done about it.  It was just like when Starkiller's shields had been breached when Han Solo approached at lightspeed, bringing down the impenetrable base in the space of an hour. There wasn't a real way to plan something like that. Would he have been able to stop that initial boarding, had he been on the _Neva_? Would he have even been on the _Neva_  when it happened? Or would he have been on one of the other destroyers when it was taken by surprise?

The Resistance had outmaneuvered him, and he had made peace with that.

Kylo’s strange mission had ultimately failed, in that all the information they had recovered was now useless, but it had likely saved at least Hux’s life. And now, the problem was, what to do with it?

Kylo joined him on the cold steel beam where he sat, lowering his hood and loosening his cowl, not looking at him, staring out across the cold desert right alongside him. Hux thought about asking him whether there was one sun or two, what time of day it was, why it was cold. But that would be pointless. There were a lot of pointless conversations lately. Hux knew he needed to ask how Kylo's trip into town went, at the very least, though he suspected that would also be a pointless conversation.  Still, they should get it out of the way.

"Any luck?"

"No. Most of the beings here are the same. They want to wait until the Republic is established again, find out how it is under them. They're not interested in organizing before that."

Hux was silent, scrutinizing the dull gray sand of the featureless desert. They had been trying for months to find… something. To locate and join a gang, an organization, pirates, anybody that opposed the new government. It was the only plan Hux could think of, despite looking furiously for other options as they failed, again and again. As time wore on and they could find no allies, the options narrowed.

His mind was currently closed to Kylo, as it often was. He had dark thoughts lately.

"Where does that leave us?" Still not looking at Kylo.

"We could... start our own gang, build up our soldiers and power base again. Grow it slowly, like we did for the First Order. A completely fresh start."

Hux was silent. He didn’t need to tell Kylo that the purpose of joining a gang was to do just that. Kylo knew. Hux almost wanted to make a joke about starting so fresh they literally had nothing. The joke was there. But he was never really very good at telling them. They didn’t make him laugh, after all.

"The First Order was built with the remnants of the Empire. Those were trained officers and soldiers that fully believed power to one made the galaxy a better place. They remembered what a Republic was like. The weaknesses, the endless arguments." He paused, wondering if he should bother to continue. Did anyway. "Gang members can be trained, but it takes time, and we will have to be extremely careful about weeding out undesirables."

"I can do that." Kylo sounded optimistic. This was the most Hux had spoken about the future, about his plans, in weeks. They had spoken very little lately, aside from questions about basic survival.

Kylo was right, he could easily spot any negative trait he or Hux cared to find in another being. But that wasn’t quite what Hux meant. "I want people that can believe in a cause. They won't fight for us if they're only looking for quick credits, or simply for the next fight. That won't work for the long term. Nobody is interested in restarting the First Order, you've said so yourself?"

Kylo was quiet for a long, awkward moment before assenting quietly. "No, they're not." Hux saw him out of the corner of his eye, running a hand over hair that had grown long and unruly. It was stirring around his face in the slight breeze.

"Then we'd be starting a gang to steal money. And materials. And then we'd have to start training our officers. Our leaders. Then we'd have to build a Destroyer. A base."

Hux paused.

"The First Order was my life's work."

"You're still young."

"Not that young."

"Immortal, actually."

"Not really. I don't want to live forever in a decrepit body."

"I'm pretty sure I can control that, too."

Hux crossed his arms over his thighs and leaned forward, laying his head down, not wanting to give ground. Kylo was ridiculous, and Hux had already made up his mind. He opened his eyes and bared his teeth through his knees at the ground, so Kylo couldn't see. "I'm sure you can. You can do anything you want, after all."

He put his head back up and looked directly at Kylo for the first time since he’d sat down. Kylo was still wearing black robes, more tattered and layered that ever, making him shapeless and near-unidentifiable. He was wearing a cowl and a hood that were pooled around his neck, but were normally pulled up to hide his face and the scar that made him immediately identifiable. Hux was clad in nearly the same, but neater, and with fewer layers. He didn’t know why either of them bothered.

"What do you want to do now? Now that Luke Skywalker is dead, and the First Order with him?

Kylo shrugged. He still didn’t look at Hux. "I don't really know. I... don't have a plan."

"But you can do anything you want," Hux insisted, leaning forward, closer to Kylo. They hadn’t touched in weeks. Hux had begun pushing him away, and Kylo didn’t ask. A part of Hux knew that Kylo was at least partially aware of what Hux was doing, and was merely happy to stay by his side. Hux wished he didn’t know that.

"You can live forever,” he continued. “Now that you've had the Dark Side, what's stopping you from going to the Light? Studying to be a Jedi, joining up with the Republic, restarting the Jedi order, getting a taste of power and organization that way? Maybe the Republic will work this time, with you influencing it."

Kylo looked at him, turning the full force of his brown eyes, so sad since he’d had to kill his uncle. Kylo had insisted, before and after, that it had been an inevitability, something that they’d both had to do. He felt nothing about it, merely glad it was over. Hux didn’t pry, didn’t investigate. It didn’t really matter why Kylo was sad, if it was his uncle or not. There wasn’t anything they could do to change the past, or their situation.

Well, he supposed Kylo could bring him back to life. Hux should ask, remind him if he really was so miserable, he could just fix it. But that was a bad idea for several reasons.

He watched as a large blue fly landed in Kylo’s hair and began crawling around. Kylo didn’t seem to notice. "We both know I don't care about that."

Hux sighed and turned away from Kylo’s sad eyes and back out into the desert, feeling the cold wind ruffle strands of his own overly-long hair. "You only care about me."

"I want you to find something to do."

"What I want to do... I can't, anymore."

"What do you want to do, really? Is it just resurrecting the First Order and trying again?  There will always be Resistance, Hux."  Kylo turned back to the desert.  "There will always be something we can't plan for."

Hux paused, then decided there was no point in concealing his conclusions. "What would I do with all the life, health, and vitality you can give me? I want to see how different governments function. I want to go from planet to planet, to as many inhabited ones as there are in the galaxy, and study the cultures. I want to see what works and what doesn't. Then I want to pull all of it together, and show them what I've learned, show them that what doesn't work can be done differently. Everything can be done better. Everyone can benefit, as long as there is guidance."

It was one of the most personal things Hux had ever said out loud. He knew Kylo knew this. He decided to continue with one of the other plans he had considered.

“We could take a planet. A single governance. Rule it, grow its influence, begin taking nearby planets, eventually whole systems. Start our own Empire somewhere in Wild Space, where nobody would care.”

“So logical. Meticulous. It's very like you.”

And it wouldn’t work. He didn’t say it. Kylo said it, reluctantly.

"You know we can't. They know your face, and mine.” In their rush to escape with their lives, they hadn’t been able to erase the security footage of he and Kylo slaying countless unarmed Resistance soldiers with lightsabers as they fled the base. It looked bad. There was even some rather choice footage of the fight between Kylo and Luke. Hux like to think that Kylo kneeling over his obviously dead body in the extended cut was at least somewhat sympathetic, but he supposed any sort of defense you could make of that was destroyed when he was obviously cutting down swathes of soldiers later, very much alive.

Kylo continued. “Everyone knows our faces, even in Wild Space. Every inhabited planet broadcasts the wanted messages regularly. They’d… stop us." He left unsaid how hard the recruitment was. That everyone recognized them as the most wanted criminals in the galaxy. That even with deeply hooded robes, Kylo needed to use Force mind manipulation to erase people's memories of meeting them, and the effort of disguising both of them constantly was beginning to exhaust him. Most ports were beginning to use scanners in order to locate the two of them. They couldn't fool the scanners, they could only create distractions and avoid them. And sometimes they couldn’t protect themselves from identification. When droids spotted them, they had to flee.

Fleeing was beginning to exhaust both of them. Even when they began to establish some small foothold, some meager cache of supplies or credits, they inevitably left it behind when they had to switch ships and escape in front of the rage, animosity, or greed of those that wanted them dead, or those that wanted to collect the enormous bounty on their heads.

They had sometimes fought back, at first. They could win against such crowds. But there was always more. And it was one more thing that was growing exhausting as time wore on.

He put his forehead down against his arms again, let his hood fall over his peripheral vision. "And that's what it comes down to. We can't. Any great visions of the future from the Sith Lord Darth Caedus?"

Kylo was silent a moment. Hux was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he had to ask anyway.

"No. I haven't been able to see the future since we fled the Resistance. That hasn't happened to me in a long time. I think... I'm just confused. That’s pretty common for most people."

"No future? That's more grim than I thought." Hux’s tone was light. Kylo could likely detect his sarcasm.

Kylo sighed and put his arm around Hux's waist, drawing him to his side. The contact surprised Hux, and he sat up as Kylo pulled him close. It was the most intimate thing Kylo had tried in a long time. "Why can't we see what it's like to just... be? Be normal? Run a freighter, a farm, do some remote activity, live isolated lives? See for ourselves how well the Republic works. Maybe we can bide our time and join up with a Separatist faction, when it inevitably happens. Let them do the work for us."

Hux stared at Kylo, who wasn’t looking at him, was still looking across the desert, away from the town with those sad eyes.

Ah. It wasn’t his uncle that was making Kylo upset. It was Hux himself, and Hux should have suspected. He knew how Kylo thought. Kylo knew what he had in mind. Kylo could see the end.

Still, they had been through a lot together, and this would be easier if Hux humored him, gave him what he wanted. So Hux smiled at him. "You should apply yourself more to strategy. You have a mind for it."

Kylo gave a half-smile in return, turning slightly to look at Hux, the cool breeze still blowing his hair around his face, the ends of it tickling Hux’s cheek. "I learn from you."

"From invading my thoughts, most likely."

"Not lately."

Their smiles disappeared. Hux knew what Kylo wanted to hear. Knew Kylo wanted it very badly. He turned back to the desert.

"You know I can't. Sitting around, doing some menial task for years, not working towards a goal... I can't. That's not for me."

Kylo sighed. "Hux, there isn't anything else for you right now. If I could go with you, get you a position somewhere you wanted, I would. I would do anything for you. But I can't change the past. I can't change what we've both done, and that we lost."

Hux blew air through his nose. Almost a laugh. None of it had felt like losing. And still, here they were, with nothing in their present, and nothing that Hux could see for the future.

He turned back to Kylo, his usual harsh expression softened, in the easy way he’d learned. He’d also learned a lot about the way Kylo thought, in the time they’d spent together recently. "You don't really think you lost, though."

Kylo's eyes widened. Hux smiled again, because he knew Kylo would like that. "Don't act so shocked."

He leaned in and kissed Kylo. Put his hands behind Kylo's head to draw him in, one hand sliding down to the back of Kylo's neck. He licked inside Kylo’s mouth, because he knew Kylo liked that. He tightened his hold in Kylo’s too-long hair at the base of his neck, and gave a gentle pull, and Kylo groaned into his mouth. Kylo's gloved hands sought inside Hux's hood, down his back.

There was no violence in it, in any of it. Hux had never initiated a kiss before, and Hux was usually the one that drew blood in revenge, and to indicate he wanted something more. But Kylo just wanted Hux, anything he would give, and would take him on Hux’s terms. So it wasn’t surprising that when Hux offered something different, actually _offered_ , Kylo was eager to take it.

Hux felt Kylo's hands roam eagerly under his clothes, could feel Kylo’s eagerness push against his skin and mind. He was letting out small noises, and Hux could feel his eyelashes brush against his cheeks as his eyes fluttered and his lips moved eagerly.

To Hux, Kylo’s lips were cold, slightly chapped, and his mouth tasted like the bitter ulli root that was the only food that was offered on this planet. He could feel the rasp of beard against his own cheek, and felt nothing through his gloves. Similarly, he could feel nothing as Kylo’s gloved hands rummaged over his robes.

He always felt nothing.

He knew he could help himself, open himself up and let Kylo in, lose himself in Kylo’s thoughts. It was a pleasant distraction, to feel what Kylo felt for him.

But that’s all it was, a distraction. Those were Kylo’s thoughts and feelings, not his own. Part of him wished it could be different, and most of him knew that having the devotion of Kylo, who was powerful enough to achieve anything short-term, was an incredible stroke of luck. Things would be so much easier if he could simply give Kylo his own devotion back. But he couldn’t. And Hux knew, as powerful as Kylo was, anything they could do together would only succeed in the short term, and Hux wasn’t satisfied with that.

But. He had thought about his options. A lot. He needed to do something. And it cost him nothing to reward Kylo’s devotion. All of it to this point, and that which he would have given, had Hux let him.

So he gave him this. A kiss from Hux was a gift.

Hux pulled back, just a little, looking into Kylo's eyes, which opened a crack and still looked so very sad, because of course Kylo still knew. He dropped his hand from around Kylo's neck, back to his side. Kylo had the same stupid bored look on his face Hux remembered from when they had first met, and when they had worked together again. He knew now it was more complicated than that, he supposed. Kylo used it as a defense when he didn’t want his thoughts to show. Hux still didn’t know whether the effort was intentional or not, though. Probably not. Wearing a helmet didn’t lend itself to developing that skill.

"Kylo... I know I'm not the person you want me to be. I can't feel what you want me to feel for you. But know that you have everything I have to give. And that I'll always be jealous that you have everything I've always wanted, even if I know it's mine now."

He opened his mind to show Kylo everything, and to let Kylo's love pour into him. He held onto it, pulled it into himself, pretended it belonged to him. The look on Kylo’s face softened.

_You don't have to pre-_

A shot cracked across the desert. Hux knew it would go unremarked in the town, even if someone saw him do it.

Hux had a tiny holdout blaster in his other hand. He had picked it up months ago and thought a lot about what to do with it. He had narrowed his options down to two, and had sat with those two options, behind his mental barriers, for weeks. He couldn’t decide, which was unlike him.

Ultimately, he had augmented the blaster, modifying it so that it stunned, rather than killed.

He laid Kylo out on the dry, hard-packed gray grit of the desert, in front of the beam, concealing his body from the town and providing shade, so that Kylo wouldn’t wake up any angrier than necessary.

Hux knelt beside him a longer than he strictly needed to. He removed one glove, brushing Kylo’s hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ears. He considered pulling the knife from his belt and cutting it short for him. Kylo wouldn’t mind, but Hux couldn’t determine the source of the impulse, or what purpose it would serve, so he didn’t. He ran a finger idly down Kylo’s scar, across the bridge of his nose, over his cheek, and down his neck to where it disappeared into the high cowl.

He stared a moment longer, thinking about what he was giving up. Then he pulled up Kylo’s hood to hide his hair, pulled up his cowl to cover his face. Rolled him over onto his stomach. Nobody would disturb him like this until daybreak at least, and by then the stun would have worn off. He removed a comm unit from within his robes, pushed it inside Kylo’s glove and into his palm so no thieves would strip it from him, then stood and left.

 

***

 

When Kylo came to, it was dark, he was freezing, and his head ached. He rolled over and blinked up at the sky, which was black, all the stars and moons obscured by thick cloud cover. He couldn’t remember where he was, or how he had gotten like this.

“Hux?” he croaked, and winced at the dryness of his voice. He licked his lips and winced again as he sat up, bracing his back against a beam and reaching out instinctively with the Force to look for Hux. He could usually sense him, though Hux hadn’t allowed him into his thoughts for months.

He panicked when he couldn’t find Hux nearby. They hadn’t been this far apart since the start of their mission. He began looking around, searching his memory. Where were they? What had happened? Had Hux been identified and captured?

That seemed the most likely, but if that had happened, why had they left him here? Was he too dangerous? That didn’t make sense either, they would have just killed him-

He put his palm on the ground to push himself up to stand, and felt something push into his palm. He frowned and pulled his glove off, finding a small comm unit.

He blinked at it, uncomprehending. Where had this come from?

A feeling of dread washed over him. He knew Hux had been planning something, something he needed to hide from Kylo. Kylo had wondered if he planned to kill himself. If he did, Kylo could just bring him back and talk sense into him, but not if-

Not if he did it someplace else, where Kylo couldn’t find the body. And left a comm with his final message-

No. Kylo closed his eyes and calmed himself, stilled the shivers from the cold, and pushed the pain of his headache back. He was pretty sure he could call Hux back through the Force, just rebuild him right here, He didn’t need to know where Hux did it. That’s right. He could do that. It was simple.

He took a breath, then another. Then he opened his eyes and looked down to where his hand was clenched around the comm unit. Was this Hux’s last recorded message, then?

Well. He needed to play it to find out. He could decide what to do after that.

To his surprise, it was a holocomm unit that dialed out, and he scowled at it as it projected a “Connecting…” message for several minutes. He tried to figure out what this meant. Had someone kidnapped Hux, and planned to blackmail Kylo? Well, that wouldn’t work. And how would they even know to do that?

He was even more surprised when the comm connected, and he was greeted with Hux, much changed, almost unrecognizable, as a full body projection.

He had shaved his head, used a patch over one eye and changed the color of the other. He had… was it makeup? Tattoos? Some pattern over his face similar to that on Togruta, with thick dark blue lines framing his eyes, forehead, and cheeks. He also had a scar that matched Kylo’s own running under his eyepatch and down to his neck.

It was that scar that struck him hardest, that part of himself on Hux. Seeing it on Hux’s face made his chest tighten and his stomach twist.  What was Hux doing?

“Are those real?” was the first thing Kylo could think to blurt to the holoprojection.

Hux scowled. “Does it matter?”

“No.” Kylo frowned, trying to erase the surprise on his face, the ache in his heart, replace both with proper consternation. “Is this your plan? The one you were hiding from me for months? Did you think I wouldn’t let you change your face to stay hidden?”

Hux blinked his one eye. “You wouldn’t have.”

Kylo leaned back and scowled deeper. That was true, but he didn’t want to admit to it. “You could have convinced me! You didn’t need to stun me and leave me in the desert. I won’t say anything. Where are you?”

Hux smiled. It happened so rarely. He’d done it twice, now that Kylo had thought about it, before he’d shot him.

Which.

“You shot me, you little shit.”

“You wouldn’t have left me otherwise.”

He wouldn’t have. But.

“You… you did all that. That… kiss. Saying those things. To distract me so you could shoot me, and leave.”

_Leave._

Hux had left.

With that realization, with the fact that Hux hadn’t answered his question about where he was… He could feel the hurt bubbling up, betrayal. He thought he could guard against betrayal from Hux. Hux wouldn’t actively plot against him. Not Hux, who was so honest and forthright about who he was. He grit his teeth to keep his emotions in.

“You lied to me.”

Hux’s smile vanished, and he shook his head. “I told you before, I wouldn’t lie to you. Everything I said was true.”

_You have everything I have to give._

Kylo looked away from the holoprojector, not wanting Hux to see his face.

“You only said it to get away from me.”

He saw Hux shrug out of the corner of his eye. “True. But I also said it because I wanted you to hear it, and remember.”

“So. You… don’t want me anymore. Just like that. You’re leaving.” Kylo did look at the projection, and he was losing control of his rage. He would hunt Hux down and kill him himself for this. Hux couldn’t just… he couldn’t just-

He saw the comm flicker, and he tried to reign himself in, before it broke.

“Hmm. I didn’t say I didn’t want you anymore.”

Kylo frowned, his anger abating slightly. “Then what is this?” He brought the comm closer to his face. “Is this some plan?” One that required them to be apart? If so, this may be the best way to go about it. Kylo wouldn’t have agreed to let Hux leave his side. It wasn’t safe.

“I thought a lot about what we needed to do. What I needed to do.” Hux put his hands behind his back and straightened to attention. He was still wearing the loose gray robes he had last seen him in, though his arms were bared and sported tattoos that matched his face. “I didn’t see a future for us, or for myself. I thought about killing myself.”

Kylo snorted. “I know you did.”

“I would have killed you, too. I thought about it. I would have killed you first, so you couldn’t bring me back. It would have been as simple as that stun shot I gave you.”

Kylo opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He wasn’t sure whether to be furious or impressed. His closed mind and the shock of Hux willingly kissing him had pushed all caution out of his head.  He wouldn't have expected it.  It was infuriating, but he appreciated the strategy behind it.  He just nodded.

Hux looked at something where he was, then back at the comm unit. “But ending my life because I didn’t know what to do right now seemed like a waste. Something will happen, something will occur to me, and I’ll see the way forward again.”

Not wanting to kill himself because he’d be able to come up with a plan later was the most logical and most Hux thing Kylo had ever heard him say. He didn’t know whether to laugh or crush the comm unit.

“But this plan required… what? Required you to flee from me? You know that won’t work.” Kylo paused, then remembered. “And you said you weren’t done with me. Was it just to change you appearance? Do you want me to join up with you now?”

Hux looked away again, then back. “I think being with you limits my options. They're expecting to capture us together, so we give each other away, even with your disguises. You’re also an emotional person, and I think you would react badly to mundane situations. And that scar across your face, along with your size and powers, are difficult to conceal. You might as well have one of your names tattooed across your forehead.”

Kylo ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I just concealed my identity for months. For almost a year. A year, Hux! I _just_ proved to you that I could control myself and hide everything… I was…”

_I was good. I can do anything you want me to. Let me come back to you._

He didn’t say it, and he wouldn’t. Hux knew already. He scowled.

Hux shook his head. “We aren’t good together. You encourage a particular lifestyle, and you’re distracting.”

“A _particular lifestyle_? Hux, you know that… other people live together. Have relationships. They still do everything the same way.”

Hux set his jaw. “I’m not other people. Neither are you.”

And that was true too. Kylo felt a sadness well up in him, followed quickly by a return to anger.

“Hux.” His voice broke on the name, which he shouldn’t be yelling, someone would hear him, see him, recognize him. But he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t keep the emotion from his voice, and Hux was wrong about his lack of control. He knew he shouldn’t be speaking Hux’s name aloud. But he was angry, and had to find Hux, and it didn’t really matter who overheard him here anyway, he would just deal with it. If he could just speak to Hux, find what he was actually planning here, convince him that it was fine if they were together-

Hux shook his head, his face set in his usual blank, emotionless, slightly arrogant expression. He wasn’t acting for Kylo’s benefit right now, which was good. “Kylo. If I didn’t want you finding me, I would have killed you. I know you can’t help it.”

Kylo shifted, slightly stunned. Was this… a game? “But you won’t tell me.”

Hux arched a brow. “And won’t that make things more interesting?”

“I can sense you from across the galaxy. I’ll find you.”

“I don’t think you can. But find me. I’ll run again, if I don’t think you’ll fit in the life I found.” Hux shrugged. “Since I can’t imagine anything for us, I’ll find it this way.”

“You could find it with me!”

“No. I can’t. And this is more interesting, more challenging.”

Kylo exhaled, and closed his eyes. He tried reaching out with the Force, sensing Hux. He couldn’t. But that was because he was too wound up. If he could concentrate, he could do it. The sooner the better. If Hux was anywhere nearby, and he had to be ( _how long had he been out?_ ), Kylo would find him.

 _a game a game a game_  repeated through his mind over and over again, _a game Hux wants me to find him this is a game I just need to find him and he’ll let me stay-_

He opened his eyes again, and stared at the weak comm of Hux.

“Must you?”

Hux nodded.

Kylo sighed again, and slumped back, resigning himself to becoming a hunter again. Luke had given him a lot of practice, and Luke would be much harder to find than Hux, who he was bonded to in the Force. He thought about telling Hux he wouldn’t do this, that he would get bored and let Hux go. He could do anything he wanted, and he didn’t want to play games.

But Hux wouldn’t believe him. And part of him liked this. When he found Hux, he would either tear him apart or kiss him. Maybe both.

They stared at each other in morose silence for several moments.

“Can I call you on this comm?”

“No, I’m going to block you as soon as we hang up.”

Kylo frowned. “Is that an incentive to find you faster? I can talk to you sooner?”

Hux shrugged impassively.

Kylo stared in silence for another few moments, desperate to think of something to say. It may take longer to find Hux than he thought, after all. Hux had grown skilled at blocking him. What if-

“Don’t block me.”

Hux smiled again, which seemed right, but still looked wrong on him. Kylo wondered if he thought he was supposed to smile for him now. It was hard to tell with Hux.

“That’s part of the challenge.”

“What if I can’t find you,” he asked weakly, somewhat against his will.

Hux shrugged. “Neither of us will ever know, will we?”

After a moment, Hux continued, seeming to take pity on Kylo. He leaned in closer, and Kylo studied his new features, scowling. He wanted the old Hux back. He wanted that last kiss they’d had again.

“What does your Force say happens to people after they die?”

“You’ve died. You’ve felt it.”

Hux shook his head. “I didn’t understand what was happening. I had no real sense of it.”

Kylo sucked on his lower lip.

“Don’t kill yourself.” He didn’t know if he’d be able to sense it if Hux did. Surely he would be able to. Their bond was deep, and Hux's life belonged to him. Though Hux was currently successfully guarding his end of the bond. But Kylo thought it would kill him if it broke. Surely he’d know.

Hux arched a brow. “I was thinking more long term, at the end of my lifetime, or yours.”

Kylo looked down. “You become one with the Force. Your lifeforce is absorbed, and becomes all things.” He looked back up. “It’s said you become part of all life after that. Plants. Sentient and non-sentient beings. You are all of it.”

Hux cocked his head. “Does consciousness occur again?” He paused. “I’d heard a similar philosophy before, where beings were granted another life after death, and your Force reminded me of it.”

“Not exactly. Your life just becomes part of another, of all. Everything is made up of all living things.”

Hux exhaled, looking slightly angry. Kylo knew he was trying hard, leaving Kylo with hope, though doing so with Force philosophy was a strange way to do it, when Hux knew next to nothing about it and Kylo was something of an authority. Still. He appreciated the effort.

“You’re the one that believes in inevitable confrontation and in the power of connection. You told me your battle with Skywalker was fated. And you told me that silly legend about the queen and her lovers the king and knight. I know you believe in the bonds between people, or I’d be able to simply leave you behind. Isn’t that part of your Force?”

“It’s not _my_  Force. You can sense it too.”

Hux sighed. “I suppose I can. It was why I had to plan so carefully to separate us. That has more to do with your tenacity than the Force, though. Still, you are its creature, I suppose.”

Kylo said nothing. Hux continued.

“My point is, if you think all that, if we’re meant to be together, if you have the power to find me, do it. I'll hide. It will be something to occupy both of us, and it's something we can do together, if you like.” He reached a hand out, and sadness welled up in Kylo, so powerfully he nearly choked on it. “If you don’t find me, if I hide too well, you’ll still find me in the Force, correct? No matter what?”

Kylo looked down again, could feel the tears in his eyes. It didn’t matter. He looked back up.

“Hux.” He wiped at his face with his free hand. “You don’t believe a word of that.”

“I don’t.” He pulled his hand back. “But you do.”

“How did you suddenly find it in yourself to care about what I believe in?”

Hux shook his head. “You know me too well, and you are uniquely suited to... my peculiarities. I've grown used to you over the months. I need to do this right now, but I don't want you to destroy yourself because I've pushed you away. I will eventually want you back.”

Kylo shook his own head, mimicking Hux.

“I don't think you will ever really want me."

Hux rolled his eyes.  "You know I will."

"This is still cruel.”

Hux sat down, the comm showing the edges of a seat on an ancient freighter. “I am cruel. That won’t stop you. But maybe this last conversation will make it easier.” He leaned forward in the seat, strange new face anomalous, but still Hux, still expressionless.

“Goodbye, Kylo. Find me soon. I’ll wonder about you if you don’t.”

And he terminated the call.


	21. Epilogue

_A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..._

The young man made the jump to lightspeed from inside the spaceport, knowing it was a crazy risk, knowing that leaving his crew behind was a bad idea. They would find him and they would kill him, if jumping to lightspeed from the surface of a planet didn't do it for them. But there was a group of Weequay bounty hunters prowling the hangar. His crew were all wanted men, the other members slightly moreso than him. So he had left them behind to the tender mercies of the bounty hunters, letting his more valuable crewmates serve as a distraction while he escaped. Better them than Ben. And, come to think of it, now that he was still alive, jumping to lightspeed inside the docking bay might have left everyone there with few, if any, options once he had exited the action.

He put the thought of his former crew immediately out of his head as he ran his hands through his dark, wavy hair. The bounty hunters had shaken him up badly though, and he forced himself to breathe more steadily now that he was in deep space. He was still alive. They were gone. Ben would never see them again. Right? Right. They were probably dead. Weequays were just as easy to kill as humans. They were all dead, incinerated by the jump to lightspeed, or blown up, or whatever happens when you do that in atmo and not in space.

He leaned back in the pilot's seat, his pounding heartbeat receding. He closed his eyes and sighed. It was okay. He was okay. He had a ship, and he had gotten away. Probably cleanly. That was good. It had been a bad day anyway. The crew had caught him stealing small parts to sell under the table for more credits. They fed him nearly nothing and paid him less, so Ben wasn’t sure what they expected. They had been a mix of humans and Gamorreans, and they had wanted to take his hands for stealing fifty creds worth of parts. So that was nice, and then the bounty hunters had appeared.

He swore, when this ship landed, he would finally go straight, finally stop hanging out with these lowlifes-

A blade came to his neck, he felt the kiss and slight bite of cold metal against his skin, and his eyes shot open. A calm voice spoke behind him, human, not Weequay. Interior accent. Nice. "I knew you'd run. I didn’t even have to lay eyes on you."

Ben was, absurdly, even with the knife at his neck, more curious and insulted than threatened. Not at how the bounty hunter had gotten on the ship, but. There was no way anyone would have known Ben would run. If so, he’d have been booted from the crew a long time ago.

"How'd you know?"

Ben found the man's reflection in the viewport. He was tall, with red hair and cold blue eyes set in an arrogant face. He managed to look even more arrogant and condescending by sneering at Ben before responding.

"I know my prey. You've been bouncing from gang to gang since you were ten. No loyalty. I knew if I waited on the ship, you'd come crawling in to save your own hide."

Ben's eyes widened. That was true, all of it, but everyone bounced from gang to gang, that wasn’t unusual. And where did one even go to look up the previous loyalties of a non-entity like Ben? He didn’t even think local law enforcement bothered to keep track of non-offenders like him. Ben could ask, but something about the blue eyes had him speechless at the moment. He looked away, through the reflection and out the viewport at nothing, at stars going by in a blur.

There were better questions. Where would this bounty hunter take him? Would Ben actually fight to resist? Why had this bounty hunter singled out Ben? He was no criminal. Not really, anyway. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done that anyone would hold a grudge over. Well, except for the very recent acts of stealing a ship and possibly incinerating the whole crew, several bounty hunters, and a spaceport facility. But this guy wouldn’t have known that when he boarded.

He spun back around in his chair, ignoring the knife, still more curious than frightened. He certainly should be concerned. The bounty hunter was tall, lean, and hungry-looking, covered in ratty clothes that were too big for his frame, rather nasty scars, and at least a few different conflicting association tattoos. He was probably a rather vicious opponent. But nothing about him was currently setting Ben on edge.

"Am I really worth it?"

The knife lowered. "No, not really." He sounded genuinely puzzled. "You're worth the least in the gang. I should have let you go.” He paused, blinking down at him. “They'll think I fled with you."

They would. He’d be in serious trouble, especially if the other bounty hunters lived through whatever Ben had done to the bay. They wouldn’t like that he escaped unscathed.

It was almost funny. It wasn’t, not really, and everything about this day had been stupid and dangerous, up to and including this man who wanted his life. But Ben turned and smiled out the viewport again. Sometimes you just had to laugh.

"Was it my pretty face that swayed you?" It was an absurd thought, and it came out before he could properly consider it, completely unbidden and very much not like him. He almost shocked himself. The bounty hunter seemed to take it in stride, though.

"Is your life really so far gone that you'd flirt with someone who is obviously considering killing you? You know you're worth the same dead or alive, right?"

"I do know that. And I think you know what my life is like. Apparently. Maybe a little too well, even for a bounty hunter."

The man paused. Ben didn't look over, but heard the bounty hunter collapse into the copilot's seat. That was a good sign, and Ben decided to press, not for any real reason.

"You didn't answer my question."

The man sighed dramatically. "Yes, it's because I'm ridiculously attracted to you. I've been stalking you. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Only if it's true." Ben turned his wide, dark eyes to the bounty hunter, a glint of mischief in them. He couldn’t decide if it was a bluff or not. His eyes moved up and down, considering. Vicious, but powerful. Interesting. Was he flexible? Or would those wiry arms be able to hold him down? Or would he simply haul off and stab Ben for being difficult?

He blinked, trying to stop his train of thought. This was moving a little too fast. It was crazy, even for him, even for this shitty day. There was no way-

The man turned, regarded him coldly.

"I never lie."

Ben laughed, letting his guard down further. He shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. "What an absolute angel."

This time, the man’s arrogant mask slipped, and his mouth quirked in the corner. "You are the only person who's ever called me an angel. What a quaint complement. I'm not nearly that virtuous, I assure you."

Ben leaned forward in the pilot’s seat, eating him up a little more with his eyes, realizing that, yes, this was happening, and maybe he shouldn’t question his good luck. And maybe the bounty hunter wasn't lying or putting him on.

“I'm hoping we can be not virtuous together. I'll handle the lying. What's your name?"

"Red."

"Nice. Descriptive. Easy to remember."

The smile slipped away, the stranger turning back to front viewport. "Annoying. I may have just landed myself on the wrong side of the bounty hunters because of you. Do you know that?”

Ben shrugged. “The thought occurred to me when I was trying to figure out if my crew could still be alive.” He turned to look out the front viewport himself. “Do you think they are?”

Red snorted. “No.” He turned to look at Ben, a hint of amusement on his face again. “Did you really jump to lightspeed inside the port, on the surface of the planet?”

“I guess I did.”

“How?”

“I, uh… know how to override the safeties on the ship. I figured it was… doable as long as the computer had calculated the jump.” He paused, wondering how compassionate he should pretend to be. “I didn’t really think about the planet though. I guess.”

That sounded fake aloud, though it was technically true. Maybe it was because he had tried to make it sound like he normally would have cared about such things. Not so much.

“Right.” Red sighed again, studying him head to foot. “I’m stuck with you, and suddenly realize I don’t want your worthless bounty. Without your crew reporting you for theft, it’s unlikely to get larger, unless you do something else monumentally stupid. But you’d have to do it to me, and I’d simply kill you.”

Ben raised his eyebrows, and made a point of leering at Red. “Depends on your definition of stupid.”

Red rolled his eyes, ignoring him. “I’ll certainly have a bounty if those other hunters are dead and I’m spotted, alive and well, with one of the targets elsewhere.”

“Plan on ditching me soon, then?”

Red didn’t answer right away, considering hyperspace. “That depends. Now that we've both made bad decisions in the space of two minutes, do you have a plan, Ben?"

"I've never been one for plans."

"Of course you aren’t. I've never been one for impulse decisions before either, but here we are. Do you know how to fly this antique?"

"No, do you?"

"No. You shut off all the safeties and threw it into lightspeed, though, certainly you can land it?"

"No, but I can probably take it out of lightspeed."

Red sighed dramatically, heaving himself out of the seat. "I'll see if I can find basic protocols for the ship. I sincerely hope it's not marked."

Ben, glanced out the front viewport again, then put his hand over Red's, earnest this time. Why not?

"Actually, I was kind of hoping... with the threat on my life and all, I'm a little keyed up. Would you be up for something a little less virtuous right at the moment?"

Red looked down at him. "You're an idiot."

"Is that a yes?"

Red didn't say anything, so Ben stood and leaned in to kiss him. Hard. They were the right height for it. That was nice.

Red bit back, drawing blood. Ben pulled away and smiled, Even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments, and for reading! It means the world to me that folks enjoyed this story.


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